You did the right thing, it's going to wreck him, giving money to addicted woman who smokes and drinks

The two scenario are not the same. His mum is a drunk and yours is not. I cannot send money to my drunk mum, instead I send food stuffs.

afoife:
Hello all, I have a staff on my farm whom I have known for sometimes before I employed him. Then I have been supporting him financially in the little way I can until I needed an extra hand, so he joined me.

It was during our conversation that I realized he is actually a bricklayer, I have been able to help him get construction jobs from friends who are civil engineers, but still I noticed he is always broke.

So I asked him how come, or is it that my friend has not been paying? He told me has been getting his wage, so why are you always broke?

He told me it's his family, but I know he is not married, he said it's his mum, she is a.drunk and smokes, this guy is in his mid thirty so I presume the mother should be in the mid fifty (I have never met her)

This guy lives around bere in Ibadan (the mum lives around there also), so I raised funds for him and relocated him to Akala express, and I told him to separate himself from him family members for some time. So he can give directions to his life, which he did and he called me yesterday that he wants to buy a mini gas cylinder as fasting is approaching, but he didn't use his phone, so I asked him of his phone, he said he switched it off as his mum has been disturbing him for money

But just yesterday, I was going to sending money to my mum for weekly upkeep, I felt bad that I advised someone against giving money to his mother and here I am giving to my mother.

Am I doing the right thing?

there's always a balance, his is a case of milking dry, you saved him

Beere, Oje and deranged people though. You can never find any sane human in those areas. Never

Bola146:
I'm just speechless Typical example of one of my ex's mother. The woman is borrowing money from almost 4 grooming center, her son was the one the burdens were on

One of your ex's abi?

Continue

ahnie:
just here to read comments.

send your picture to my email

You should have been explicit with your statement. Your mother is still your mother, even if she is a drunk or a social deviant. You should have advised him to give his mother money that won't affect him. He needs to apply wisdom.

Bola146:
I'm just speechless Typical example of one of my ex's mother. The woman is borrowing money from almost 4 grooming center, her son was the one the burdens were on

you too send ya picture

TrickorTreat:
Cute kittens for sale...

I no no if you fine but send your picture too

afoife:
Hello all, I have a staff on my farm whom I have known for sometimes before I employed him. Then I have been supporting him financially in the little way I can until I needed an extra hand, so he joined me.

It was during our conversation that I realized he is actually a bricklayer, I have been able to help him get construction jobs from friends who are civil engineers, but still I noticed he is always broke.

So I asked him how come, or is it that my friend has not been paying? He told me has been getting his wage, so why are you always broke?

He told me it's his family, but I know he is not married, he said it's his mum, she is a.drunk and smokes, this guy is in his mid thirty so I presume the mother should be in the mid fifty (I have never met her)

This guy lives around bere in Ibadan (the mum lives around there also), so I raised funds for him and relocated him to Akala express, and I told him to separate himself from him family members for some time. So he can give directions to his life, which he did and he called me yesterday that he wants to buy a mini gas cylinder as fasting is approaching, but he didn't use his phone, so I asked him of his phone, he said he switched it off as his mum has been disturbing him for money

But just yesterday, I was going to sending money to my mum for weekly upkeep, I felt bad that I advised someone against giving money to his mother and here I am giving to my mother.

Am I doing the right thing?

You gave advice base on emotional sentiment...
Please you just have to go to the guy and correct your ill -advice...

afoife:
Hello all, I have a staff on my farm whom I have known for sometimes before I employed him. Then I have been supporting him financially in the little way I can until I needed an extra hand, so he joined me.

It was during our conversation that I realized he is actually a bricklayer, I have been able to help him get construction jobs from friends who are civil engineers, but still I noticed he is always broke.

So I asked him how come, or is it that my friend has not been paying? He told me has been getting his wage, so why are you always broke?

He told me it's his family, but I know he is not married, he said it's his mum, she is a.drunk and smokes, this guy is in his mid thirty so I presume the mother should be in the mid fifty (I have never met her)

This guy lives around bere in Ibadan (the mum lives around there also), so I raised funds for him and relocated him to Akala express, and I told him to separate himself from him family members for some time. So he can give directions to his life, which he did and he called me yesterday that he wants to buy a mini gas cylinder as fasting is approaching, but he didn't use his phone, so I asked him of his phone, he said he switched it off as his mum has been disturbing him for money

But just yesterday, I was going to sending money to my mum for weekly upkeep, I felt bad that I advised someone against giving money to his mother and here I am giving to my mother.

Am I doing the right thing?

Money for genuine upkeep, is better than money used to cater for an addiction.......

If you knew the money you sent to your mum, she was always dropping 95% to her pastor or Imam..... I am very sure, you too would stop sending money to her......

AsherAmari:
Since your conscience is pricking you, call and tell him to resume giving his mother money for upkeep again.

How come he still can't afford a gas cylinder even after working with you?

U u no too fine like that jaree

adewumiopeyemi:



It wil surely backfire to you


Rememer that you also have mother
And she brought you up to this level

A woman has to eat the fruit of the womb no matter wat


No matter what



I love my mother

No woman can control me

Never in this life

Carry your sorro* or problem go your house must you display your madness here

See what this government have turned this country into.

Buhari should just resign and go and I swear TINUBU will never be president

@Op you're not a good person and obviously a bad adviser.. you love and care for your own mum but told a friend to distance himself from his.

Do you know the kind of struggle the mother did on him for him to be where he is today. An alcoholic and drunk can change and achieve great things afterall there are cultists, hired killers, occults etc. that are now pastors and prophets preaching the word of God.

Retrace your steps and tell him to go look for his mother before it's too late.. God that said "honour your father and mother so that your days may be long" knows why He said that. Who are you to judge??

afoife:
[s]Hello all, I have a staff on my farm whom I have known for sometimes before I employed him. Then I have been supporting him financially in the little way I can until I needed an extra hand, so he joined me.It was during our conversation that I realized he is actually a bricklayer, I have been able to help him get construction jobs from friends who are civil engineers, but still I noticed he is always broke.So I asked him how come, or is it that my friend has not been paying? He told me has been getting his wage, so why are you always broke?He told me it's his family, but I know he is not married, he said it's his mum, she is a.drunk and smokes, this guy is in his mid thirty so I presume the mother should be in the mid fifty (I have never met her)This guy lives around bere in Ibadan (the mum lives around there also), so I raised funds for him and relocated him to Akala express, and I told him to separate himself from him family members for some time. So he can give directions to his life, which he did and he called me yesterday that he wants to buy a mini gas cylinder as fasting is approaching, but he didn't use his phone, so I asked him of his phone, he said he switched it off as his mum has been disturbing him for money[/b]But just yesterday, I was going to sending money to my mum for weekly upkeep, I felt bad that I advised someone against giving money to his mother and here I am giving to my mother.[b]Am I doing the right thing?[/s]

Nonsense.

adewumiopeyemi:



It wil surely backfire to you


Rememer that you also have mother
And she brought you up to this level

A woman has to eat the fruit of the womb no matter what


No matter what



I love my mother

No woman can control me

Never in this life

Did you read the post at all?

This is Man to Man advice, not a woman controlling a man.

The said mother is addicted to smoking and drinking, thereby always making the son broke (as he needs to keep sending her money to sustain her addiction).

Learn to read sometimes, it helps.

The advice you gave him was wrong.
You over emphasised it.
I helped someone out in this same situation last week.
What i told him is what i would recommend to you.
What advice did i give him...??
That he should decide a reasonable amount he would convieniently be able to afford, monthly.
And he should keep to it, and never do more than that fixed amount..., and communicate it to the mom, so that she too will check her spending habbits at her end there, so that she will not assume that there is one dangote somewhere.
If he doesnt do it that way, the mother would be giving him random billings anyhow, which might be affecting his finances.
That is the best way to it, and not to tell him not to give at all...
Apply this too, and your guilt will be wiped away...

flokii:
@Op you're not a good person and obviously a bad adviser.. you love and care for your own mum but told a friend to distance himself from his.

Do you know the kind of struggle the mother did on him for him to be where he is today. An alcoholic and drunk can change and achieve great things afterall there are cultists, hired killers, occults etc. that are now pastors and prophets preaching the word of God.

Retrace your steps and tell him to go look for his mother before it's too late.. God that said "honour your father and mother so that your days may be long" knows why He said that. Who are you to judge??

So, the son should sacrifice his own finances to sustain the mother's addiction?

Also, there's a follow up post by the OP that the guy said he buys food for her (the mother) but she rejects / throws it away.

As much as you had good intentions, and did the right thing...

The Son must continue sending money and taking care of his Mother, because spiritually our parents hold many keys to our destiny..

The guy needs to get her to a rehabilitation centre, there is one at New Bodija, and it wouldn't take time before his mother becomes clean

E be things...this una matter get as e be...the advice you gave to him is good enough but he need to talk senses into his mom.

Meanwhile,if you need Original Pure Honey... kindly contact O81 O1 66 67 71 or the number on the picture below let's talk about it now..Thankio

just tell him to convert the money to foodstuffs so that the poor woman will not die of hunger.

Op your friend really give a damn about his mum.
See ones anybody be it family or friends knows how emotional weak someone is, they will capitalise on the weakness and control the person
The mum understood the emotional weak point of that guy that's why she always prefer cash to drink and smoke every madness instead of raw food.
I don't know why I never meet mad people like me

Nicoswit:
You should have advised him to only give to his mom according to his financial capabilities not to avoid her totally

I agree with this

Ayemileto:


So, the son should sacrifice his own finances to sustain the mother's addiction?

Also, there's a follow up post by the OP that the guy said he buys food for her (the mother) but she rejects / throws it away.

I understand the said friend is a hustler, he has his life to live bla bla bla..

Are you telling me that he has no girlfriend he is spending money on?

A wise musician once said.. appreciate your parents no matter what while they are still with you cos once they are gone, they are gone for good. Even if you make it later in life with billions upon billions, they won't be around to eat a kobo.

afoife:
Hello all, I have a staff on my farm whom I have known for sometimes before I employed him. Then I have been supporting him financially in the little way I can until I needed an extra hand, so he joined me.

It was during our conversation that I realized he is actually a bricklayer, I have been able to help him get construction jobs from friends who are civil engineers, but still I noticed he is always broke.

So I asked him how come, or is it that my friend has not been paying? He told me has been getting his wage, so why are you always broke?

He told me it's his family, but I know he is not married, he said it's his mum, she is a.drunk and smokes, this guy is in his mid thirty so I presume the mother should be in the mid fifty (I have never met her)

This guy lives around bere in Ibadan (the mum lives around there also), so I raised funds for him and relocated him to Akala express, and I told him to separate himself from him family members for some time. So he can give directions to his life, which he did and he called me yesterday that he wants to buy a mini gas cylinder as fasting is approaching, but he didn't use his phone, so I asked him of his phone, he said he switched it off as his mum has been disturbing him for money

But just yesterday, I was going to sending money to my mum for weekly upkeep, I felt bad that I advised someone against giving money to his mother and here I am giving to my mother.

Am I doing the right thing?

The future of some of our girls in this country will be worse than this.
Caution them they will call you names. I pity a lot of them when I see them smoking and drinking.

Yes, some of our fore mother did same but were able to stop it but this generation is not like theirs. Any addiction in this our generation is very hard to stop.

Op stop troubling your conscience you did the right thing. If not the woman will one day insult the boy "if he is not seeing his mate achieving yet he doesn't know his left from right".

adewumiopeyemi:



It wil surely backfire to you


Rememer that you also have mother
And she brought you up to this level

A woman has to eat the fruit of the womb no matter what


No matter what



I love my mother

No woman can control me

Never in this life

Thank you

Some comments here are just out of point. SMH

I cant put up with a man that's a drunk and smokes, let alone a woman that exhibits such behaviour. My mother smoking and a drunk ? God ! ..and op, i hope that bricklayer friend of yours dont gamble ? Like,play football betting . Please,make some findings on that,but you got to be subtle about it. I just got that feeling that the mother addictions he's claiming could be a form of red herring to divert your attention from the main issue. I could be wrong though.

It's karma cos should not have ask him to stop ,he might even reduced it ,cos the bond of mother and their children cannot be broken

The guy is broke because of the economy or you are underpaying him. Drunk or not there should be a certain percentage he should send to his parents.