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Satire: Reasons Why Nigeria MUST Be ONE - Politics - Nairaland

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Satire: Reasons Why Nigeria MUST Be ONE by oyolohi: 9:07pm On Apr 28
Nigeria has come a long way since our very dear colonial masters left us in good hands. Of course, we all know how the British people operated in the past --they had the habit of invading foreign lands and literally proclaiming: “I claim this land for my King!!!” Next, they transform the entire land to a company, tasking and taxing the aboriginals, etcetera; at which point, it doesn’t matter if aboriginal people already existed. It happened in many lands: America, New Zealand, Nigeria, and worse of all --Tasmania.

In the mid 1700s, a British expedition sailed and laid hold of the south-western Pacific Ocean to conquer new lands including Tasmania. Tasmanian had survived over 10,000 years (independent) before the first British ship touched her shores. Who were the friendly, zealous, peaceful, unsuspecting aboriginal Tasmanians to smell the impending doom?! Long story cut shot, the British in their usual barbaric manner exterminated the Tasmanian. In 1976, the LAST Tasmanian (Truganini, a woman, who had died a hundred years earlier after being super depressed due to the loss of her entire clan) was given up for Burial. Samples of her hair and skin were held in Britain until 2002.

Now, journey with me into pre-colonial “Nigeria.”

Once upon a time in this place now called Nigeria, tribes lived in relative harmony --a time when “unity” was based on genuine desire to do business, however, Usman, and the British came and changed it for us grin The British interrupted Usman Dan Fodio in his Jihad, in a promise not to interrupt his ultimate plan in the long run. They (British) then did the unthinkable: “Uniting” so many tribes with different Gods and cultures... well, what did they care? If not that our sun was too hot for them, who knows? they might as well exterminated us like they did in New Zealand and Tasmania!

As one of my favourite author explained, “Evolution has made Homo sapiens like other social mammals, a xenophobic creature.” were the British not aware of this fact before stitching over a hundred tribes in one piece called Nigeria? (where that Lugard mistress even dey sef? I wan do her something grin)

A little study of the history of Britain, and how they lived, will open your eyes to the fact that they had nothing for us --as in, in our interest. Nigeria is plainly a company. They had to leave eventually, but they were far smarter than us in their ways --their ways (politics, etc) which they forced on us, and which became our ways --consequently, they were smarter than us. They left, and as promised, they had to make the North a majority and handover democracy (a government of the majority) to us! How brilliant!!!

Honestly, I don vex, and I honestly can’t mention one reason why Nigeria should remain in a forced unity -- a relationship that didn’t flourish naturally, a relationship as unnatural as f*k! --not based on mutual benefits. Imagine if the unity was based on mutual respect and benefits. Where capitalism was the order, and not “One Nigeria” --which is more like “One people, different gods, different cultures.” Why can’t Nigeria peacefully disintegrate, and live in an ecosystem where any unity (if any) would be entirely based on mutual respect, and commerce.

I’ll end with this quote:
“People who do not believe in the same god or obey the same king are more than willing to use the same money.”


There comes a time when pikin go leave him parent house go marry to form him own family. Why hold back the pikin whe wan go, and still you no de treat am well?

PS: Please, if you know any good reason why Nigeria must be one, abeg, add. My head is literally empty in that department RN.

— oyolohi

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Re: Satire: Reasons Why Nigeria MUST Be ONE by GodHatesBigots(m): 9:08pm On Apr 28
Ok

Re: Satire: Reasons Why Nigeria MUST Be ONE by Jashub: 9:14pm On Apr 28
Nairaland is just admitting every specie of madness to come online and abuse the sanity of social media. undecided

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Re: Satire: Reasons Why Nigeria MUST Be ONE by HolyHolyBiafra: 9:15pm On Apr 28
Waoohhh!! Good write-up. The zoo has no reason to remain as a country. Break it up!!
Re: Satire: Reasons Why Nigeria MUST Be ONE by Valkan(m): 9:27pm On Apr 28
HolyHolyBiafra:
Garbage by a naive slowpoke.

He asked a question but you didn't read it did you

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Re: Satire: Reasons Why Nigeria MUST Be ONE by SouthEastFacts: 9:28pm On Apr 28
Unity beggar
Re: Satire: Reasons Why Nigeria MUST Be ONE by Valkan(m): 9:29pm On Apr 28
Jashub:
Nairaland is just admitting every specie of madness to comeb online and abuse the sanity of social media. undecided

it is obvious you didnt read

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Re: Satire: Reasons Why Nigeria MUST Be ONE by Valkan(m): 9:30pm On Apr 28
op lemme come.
simplyleo mannabbqgrills monogamy helinues bosstrevor1 mekaboy ngeneukwenu odua1stson
Answer ops question or forever hold your peace

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Re: Satire: Reasons Why Nigeria MUST Be ONE by Jashub: 9:44pm On Apr 28
Valkan:


it is obvious you didnt read
You are saying rubbish oga.
Re: Satire: Reasons Why Nigeria MUST Be ONE by Valkan(m): 10:03pm On Apr 28
Jashub:
[s][/s] You are saying rubbish oga.

defense mechanism
simple question give a reason why Nigeria should be one,you are here chasing your tail
Re: Satire: Reasons Why Nigeria MUST Be ONE by Jashub: 10:05pm On Apr 28
Valkan:


defense mechanism
simple question give a reason why Nigeria should be one,you are here chasing your tail
Since when did it become your business to ask for my opinions on thread? Or are you that jobless? Nonsense
Re: Satire: Reasons Why Nigeria MUST Be ONE by Valkan(m): 10:08pm On Apr 28
Jashub:
[s][/s] Since when did it become your business to ask for my opinions on thread? Or are you that jobless? Nonsense
then why comment

truly nairaland is admitting all sorts of madness to come online and abuse social media
Re: Satire: Reasons Why Nigeria MUST Be ONE by Jashub: 10:09pm On Apr 28
Valkan:
then why comment

truly nairaland is admitting all sorts of madness to come online and abuse social media
Jobless
Re: Satire: Reasons Why Nigeria MUST Be ONE by Valkan(m): 10:15pm On Apr 28
Jashub:
[s][/s] Jobless

in your bid to look wise you ended up showing your ineRt stewpidity
Re: Satire: Reasons Why Nigeria MUST Be ONE by Nobody: 10:33pm On Apr 28
Tell your Hausa-Fulani parents and political sponsors that it was too late.
Nigeria is broken already both in the physical and spiritual realms.
What you have now is the ghost and caricature of your Nigeria.
Re: Satire: Reasons Why Nigeria MUST Be ONE by HolyHolyBiafra: 10:31am On Apr 29
Valkan:


He asked a question but you didn't read it did you
I took my time to read and found out that the OP made loads of sense. The zoo must be broken into pieces.

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