I Feel Very Guilty Whenever I Have Sex - Family - Nairaland
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| I Feel Very Guilty Whenever I Have Sex by Mayvin: 9:21am On May 02, 2021 |
I'm gonna head straight to the point. Prior to last quarter of 2019, I lived a not-so-decent life. I played around with girls and had a couple of FWB kinda relationship with most of my female friends. It was all cool until it became not so cool. There was no real connection with these girls and most of them eventually started wanting more (a committed relationship). I wasn't ready to deal and I'll end up ghosting them. I took an inventory of my life and I was dissatisfied with what I had become; rotating girls every other week was something I began to grow tired of. The sense of emptiness and dissatisfaction that came on me was overwhelming. I asked God to forgive me and I decided to get my stuff in order. I cut ties with the girls I was involved with and moved to a new place. New place, fresh start. At least, so I thought. The lockdown kicked in 2020 and it was basically the best time of my life. I started following church online, studying the Bible and praying every day. My businesses was flourishing even in the midst of an economic meltdown. I felt a peace I had not felt for a very long time. I stayed a full year without sex and I was genuinely happy with my life. I decided I was gonna go all the way; no sex till marriage. Even after the lock down was over, I still maintained a healthy relationship with God. I no longer saw girls as just ordinary sex objects anymore; my perceptive had changed. I got confident that I had gotten mastery over my emotions. I started to allow few female friends visit me again. They'd visit but nothing happened. Fornication was no longer appealing to me. This went on for a while until early this year. My neighbor, a young beautiful banker whom I had eventually grown fond of because of the enlightened discussions we usually have started visiting regularly. She'd visit me every now and then; we'd talk late into the night until I walk her to her house. Honestly, I had no intention of going down with this lady. She had become a good friend and that was all I wanted. But as you might have figured, that didn't last long. We eventually had sex and I felt horrible afterwards. I asked God to forgive me and promised myself it was a mistake and it wouldn't happen again. But it takes one relapse to restart a bad habit. An ex-girl visited and we had sex. Again, the same feeling of guilt and condemnation that I have done something wrong. I tried severing ties with my neighbor. But as it currently stands, we have sex every now-and-then even when we promise to quit. I really want to live a decent life. But it seems I have a problem with lust. I've prayed for God to help me; but whenever I feel I've got my act together and my Christian life is going well, I fall ! I can't even begin to explain how guilty and condemned I feel whenever I engage in this act. I've told my neighbor to stop visiting me several times. But then, the hormones kicks in after a stressful day of work and I'll eventually call her over for a chat. Most times we just have innocent chat about random stuff and nothing sexual happens. After some days when it seems we've gone back to being "just friends", the guards are loosed and we eventually end up having sex. She's actively tried to avoid me too but can't seem to help herself either. We've both talked about not wanting a relationship cause we're both busy with our careers and stuff. But I can sense she's beginning to crave that security and love. I on the other hand, I'm trying to end this unhealthy sexual relationship and get this constant sense of guilt and condemnation of sin off my chest. But it seems the harder I try, the more susceptible I am to this temptation. I seriously need to quit but can't seem to. 1 Like 1 Share |
| Re: I Feel Very Guilty Whenever I Have Sex by Nobody: 9:26am On May 02, 2021 |
ok |
| Re: I Feel Very Guilty Whenever I Have Sex by Ahmad62(m): 9:51am On May 02, 2021 |
Your situation big pass me.. Let's wait for the elders Get married |
| Re: I Feel Very Guilty Whenever I Have Sex by sisisioge: 9:59am On May 02, 2021 |
Ahmad62: You've spoken the words of the elders fa. Sex is natural. Get married and have it freely with your spouse OP  3 Likes |
| Re: I Feel Very Guilty Whenever I Have Sex by Mayvin: 10:05am On May 02, 2021 |
sisisioge: I don't think marriage can solve lust. But thanks for your input nonetheless. 3 Likes |
| Re: I Feel Very Guilty Whenever I Have Sex by turasumon(f): 10:09am On May 02, 2021 |
I think that you should just get married. look for a suitable partner who is righteous and get married to her. I don't know if you see that your neighbor as someone suitable enough for you but you should do what you have to and do that fast. when u get a fiance, a sense of duty and responsibility may make u avoid sex with other women till you get married. Good luck 1 Like |
| Re: I Feel Very Guilty Whenever I Have Sex by Bornsinner7: 10:11am On May 02, 2021 |
ok |
| Re: I Feel Very Guilty Whenever I Have Sex by turasumon(f): 10:13am On May 02, 2021 |
Mayvin: It would make sex legal and stop the guilt you feel. if you continue like this, a time might come where u would no longer feel guilty. marriage would give u a legal sex partner. I believe that if you were able to be celibate for a yr like u said, den u are stronger than you know. Having sexual feelings is natural and for someone with the kind of experience you have, curbing it would not be so easy....which is why marriage is recommended in situations like this. 3 Likes |
| Re: I Feel Very Guilty Whenever I Have Sex by VeeVeeMyLuv(m): 10:22am On May 02, 2021 |
Orisirisi |
| Re: I Feel Very Guilty Whenever I Have Sex by crazygod(m): 10:27am On May 02, 2021 |
Get married to your neighbor. It seems you are attracted to her without knowing it. Perhaps you should begin a REAL relationship with her. I assure you, you will look beyond sex and crave intimacy more. |
| Re: I Feel Very Guilty Whenever I Have Sex by chatinent: 10:31am On May 02, 2021 |
*Will Sex Improve Our Relationship?* _“Heather has been seeing Mike for only two months, but she feels as if she’s known him forever. They text each other constantly, they talk for hours at a time on the phone, and they can even finish each other’s sentences! But now, as they sit in a parked car under the moonlight, Mike wants more than conversation.”_ _During the past two months, Mike and Heather have done nothing more than hold hands and briefly kiss. Heather doesn’t want to go further. But she doesn’t want to lose Mike either. No one makes her feel so beautiful, so special. ‘Besides,’ she tells herself, ‘Mike and I are in love . . .’_ YOU can probably guess where this scenario is heading. But what you may not realize is how dramatically sex would change things for Mike and Heather—and not for the better. *Consider the following:* If you defy a physical law, such as the law of gravity, you suffer the consequences. The same is true if you defy a moral law, such as the one that states: “Abstain from fornication.” (1 Thessalonians 4:3 ) *What are the consequences of disobeying that command?* The Bible says: “He that practices fornication is sinning against his own body.” ( 1 Corinthians 6:18 ) How is that true? See if you can list below three harmful effects that can come to those who engage in premarital sex. 1 ․․․․․ 2 ․․․․․ 3 ․․․․․ Now look at what you wrote. Did you include such things as sexually transmitted disease, unwanted pregnancy, or the loss of God’s favor? Those certainly are devastating consequences that can come to anyone who violates God’s moral law regarding fornication. Still, you might be tempted. ‘Nothing will happen to me,’ you could reason. After all, isn’t everyone having sex? Your peers at school brag about their escapades, and they don’t seem to be hurting. Perhaps, like Heather in the opening scenario, you even feel that sex will make you and your partner closer. Besides, who wants to be ridiculed for being a virgin? Isn’t it better to give in? Not so fast! First of all, not everyone is doing it. True, you may read statistics indicating that a large number of youths are having sex. For example, a U.S. study revealed that by the time they finish high school, 2 out of 3 youths in that country are sexually active. But that also means that 1 out of 3—a sizable number—are not. Now, what about those who are? Researchers have found that many such youths experience one or more of the following rude awakenings. *RUDE AWAKENING 1* _DISTRESS._ Most youths who have engaged in premarital sex say that they regretted it afterward. *RUDE AWAKENING 2* _DISTRUST._ After having sex, each partner begins to wonder, ‘Who else has he/she had sex with?’ *RUDE AWAKENING 3* _DISILLUSIONMENT._ Deep down, many girls would prefer someone who will protect them, not use them. And many boys find that they are less attracted to a girl who has given in to their advances. In addition to the above, a number of boys have said that they would never marry a girl they have had sex with. Why? Because they prefer someone who is more chaste! If you’re a girl, does that surprise you—perhaps even anger you? Then remember this: The reality of premarital sex is far different from what is shown in movies and on TV. The entertainment industry glamorizes teen sex and makes it look like harmless fun or even true love. But don’t be naive! Those who would try to coax you into premarital sex are only looking out for their own interests. (1 Corinthians 13:4, 5 ) After all, would anyone who truly loves you endanger your physical and emotional well-being? (Proverbs 5:3, 4 ) And would anyone who truly cares for you tempt you to jeopardize your relationship with God?— Hebrews 13:4 . If you’re a young man and you’re dating, what has been stated in this chapter should give you reason to reflect on the relationship you’re involved in. Ask yourself, ‘Do I really care for my girlfriend?’ If your answer is yes, how can you best show it? By having the strength to uphold God’s laws, the wisdom to avoid tempting circumstances, and the love to look out for her interests. If you have such qualities, then likely your girlfriend’s feelings will be similar to those of the morally upright Shulammite, who said: _“My dear one is mine and I am his.”_ (Song of Solomon 2:16 ) In short, you’ll be her hero! Whether you’re a boy or a girl, if you were to give in to premarital sex, you would be degrading yourself by giving away something precious. (Romans 1:24 ) No wonder so many feel empty and worthless afterward, as if they’ve carelessly allowed a precious part of themselves to be stolen! Don’t let that happen to you. If someone tries to coax you into sex by saying, “If you love me, you’ll do this,” firmly reply, “If you love me, you won’t ask!” Your body is far too valuable to give away. Show that you have the strength of character to obey God’s command to abstain from fornication. Then, if you do marry one day, you can have sex. And you’ll be able to enjoy it fully, without the worries, regrets, and insecurities that are so often the aftermath of premarital sex.— Proverbs 7:22, 23; 1 Corinthians 7:3 . *KEY SCRIPTURE* “Flee from fornication. . . . He that practices fornication is sinning against his own body.”— 1 Corinthians 6:18 . *TIP* When it comes to conduct with the opposite sex, a good rule to follow is this: If it’s something you wouldn’t want your parents to observe you doing, then you shouldn’t be doing it. *DID YOU KNOW . . . ?* After having sex, a boy is more likely to abandon his girlfriend and move on to someone else. *ACTION PLAN!* When I’m with a member of the opposite sex, the circumstances I need to avoid are ․․․․․ If a member of the opposite sex wants to meet me in a secluded place, I will say ․․․․․ What I would like to ask my parent(s) about this subject is ․․․․․ *WHAT DO YOU THINK?* ● Although premarital sex may appeal to the imperfect flesh, why is it wrong for you? ● What will you do if someone asks you to have sex? “As a Christian, you have qualities that will make you attractive to others. So you have to be alert and back off when invited to do something immoral. Respect those qualities. Don’t sell out!”—Joshua _Engaging in premarital sex is like taking a beautiful painting and using it as a doormat._ 3 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: I Feel Very Guilty Whenever I Have Sex by Jeon(f): 10:33am On May 02, 2021 |
Mayvin: mtchwee |
| Re: I Feel Very Guilty Whenever I Have Sex by chatinent: 10:37am On May 02, 2021 |
I can also share you a book that'll help you. |
| Re: I Feel Very Guilty Whenever I Have Sex by YourCoffin: 10:40am On May 02, 2021 |
If you feel guilty after having sex why don't you feel guilty after eating? Both activities are legal responses to natural callings. You are the only one in your head. |
| Re: I Feel Very Guilty Whenever I Have Sex by ayomilore: 10:55am On May 02, 2021 |
Mayvin: Guy. Try and get married if you are emotionally and financially ripe for it. it's natural, you can't alter it even great men of God could fall for same. No matter how prayerful and spiritual you claim to be this temptation will always keep surfacing. I was like you prior to my getting married and glory be to his name for like 4 or 5 years now I have not had any intercourse with any other woman. Immorality kills your spirit man. Above all, I think God loves you and might use you soon that's why you always have that guilty conscience after the act. Shalom. 1 Like |
| Re: I Feel Very Guilty Whenever I Have Sex by 123huawei: 11:01am On May 02, 2021 |
Please it's recommended that you fast some days in a week to kill your the spirit of lust hovering around...cos this thing is strong even ..married people think so but with consistent prayer and fasting in few days every week will send the spirit of lust in you into another realm 1 Like |
| Re: I Feel Very Guilty Whenever I Have Sex by OluwabuqqyYOLO(m): 11:27am On May 02, 2021 |
All of Una no dey get sense. Person say he get problem with lust Una dey say make he get married. Married people no dey cheat  1 Like |
| Re: I Feel Very Guilty Whenever I Have Sex by Richy4(m): 12:18pm On May 02, 2021 |
Ahmad62: Abi? They said Marriage is as blissful as a sin... But you have to wear a ring for the sin part |
| Re: I Feel Very Guilty Whenever I Have Sex by ThaThinka: 12:59pm On May 02, 2021 |
Mayvin: It might not but would help. You will be spending your "alone" time more with your wife, I guess. Since you feel a connection with your neighbour (you meet up several times for chats in camera), why not just consider marrying her? Yes, you may said marriage isn't the next thing for you. I'd beg to differ because you couldn't afford to be all alone, preferring instead to invite her over (maybe go to her place) now and then. Get married, man! |
| Re: I Feel Very Guilty Whenever I Have Sex by StPete: 1:45pm On May 02, 2021 |
Get married! Yes, get married and settle down. Then focus or channel your lustful mind and energy on your wife and starting a new family. Believe me, the stress involved in raising a family would kill any lustful pleasure you might harbour especially if you're dedicated on not wanting to fall into temptation. But as long as you're free and available, you're bound to slip back every now and then 2 Likes |
| Re: I Feel Very Guilty Whenever I Have Sex by BornToSucced(m): 11:08pm On May 02, 2021 |
Hello bro! We are exactly in the same situation. Mine is even worse......the guilty conscience could be heartbreaking.......I am trying to settle down ASAP. Though we can’t achieve perfection, keep praying for God’s mercy to stay away from it. But I know it’s not easy. |
| Re: I Feel Very Guilty Whenever I Have Sex by Mystery9(m): 5:46am On May 03, 2021 |
It's an addiction, and such can only be broken in the presence of God, not with mouth promises. Find a Christian gathering that preaches more on eternity, purpose of man on Earth, and the prays a lot. Share your experience with someone that you see as strong in the faith; and is matured. Browse about apostle Arome, Selman, and Mike Orokpo. Listen to their messages. If Remnant Christian Network is in your area please quickly join them. It's weekly Christian interdenominational body. I tell you, you will never regret you did. 1 Like |
| Re: I Feel Very Guilty Whenever I Have Sex by psilord: 10:34am On May 03, 2021 |
See enjoyment!!! |
| Re: I Feel Very Guilty Whenever I Have Sex by iupac120: 4:59pm On May 03, 2021 |
Sir, you feel guilty because you're grieving the holy spirit in you. (Eph 4:30 ) And if you continue to indulge in the fornication you conscience would be seared ( 1 Tim 4:2) It is a dangerous way to go. Please cut off the friendship with this your banker's neighbour and surround yourself with the word of God and be renewed by the spirit (Eph 4:23). Surround yourself with people that has genuine fear of God and always engage in the bible discuss with the opposite sex when tempted to wade off the desire at that moment. God will give you the grace to stand for Him in Jesus name. amen 1 Like |
| Re: I Feel Very Guilty Whenever I Have Sex by Mryacks: 5:19pm On May 03, 2021 |
If you want to remain chaste and not be feeling the way you do then there must be sacrifices by you. Try as much as possible to abstain from being in a place or position where you will be alone with the opposite sex. Be determined. No one say you cant be close firnds with women but try to avoid a touchy feely situations. |
| Re: I Feel Very Guilty Whenever I Have Sex by Ishilove: 7:06pm On May 03, 2021 |
Mayvin:Beg pardin?! But I say to the unmarried and to the widows: It is good for them if they remain even as I am; but if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion. 1 Cor 7: 8-9. NKJV |
| Re: I Feel Very Guilty Whenever I Have Sex by Omoluabi16(m): 7:30pm On May 03, 2021 |
| Re: I Feel Very Guilty Whenever I Have Sex by Ishilove: 7:36pm On May 03, 2021 |
Omoluabi16:Expatiate? |
| Re: I Feel Very Guilty Whenever I Have Sex by Omoluabi16(m): 7:59pm On May 03, 2021 |
Ishilove:E don tay I go church, but let me try. Sexual lust is an addiction, and every addiction is a long journey. Lust is best dealt with before marriage, rather than seeing marriage as the solution. It takes effort, and most importantly the grace of God to quench it. Why do married men still see adult movies or fall for the next lady he sees because she has the curves and all he xtra xtra?. Na still lust. My opinion. 3 Likes |
| Re: I Feel Very Guilty Whenever I Have Sex by Ishilove: 8:03pm On May 03, 2021 |
Omoluabi16:Your opinion makes sense. Lust is actually a spirit that even sex cannot satisfy. It will keep pushing you to new levels of lows. However, in OPs case I sense all he needs is steady nacks. He has a high libido from all indications and marrying will give him an avenue to direct his sexual energies |
| Re: I Feel Very Guilty Whenever I Have Sex by MeghaneMorgane(f): 8:20pm On May 03, 2021 |
Mayvin: This your situation is the reason I have refused to have sex until marriage. I am so scared that the moment I have sex just even as small as once, I won't stop. I will become an uncontrollable wild fire. I'll have like 100 body counts even before marriage. I am as weak as you are. I feel that being a virgin is what is keeping me in check. I keep telling myself that if I have waited this long, then let me just wait until the end because I know the man will come soon by God's grace. Though my own struggle is not with fornication but I have my struggles. I understand the feeling of relapse. It's a big struggle to keep doing what you really want to do even when your body doesn't want to do it. I pray God helps all of us. 1 Like |
| Re: I Feel Very Guilty Whenever I Have Sex by Nuelito: 8:38pm On May 03, 2021 |
Speechless |
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