hello everyone,

This is just to ask from some advise from all the mothers in the house with older kids.My LO is 19 months old and in the last couple of weeks i have noticed that she has started hitting or sometimes even biting when she does not seem to get her way. My typical Nigerian instinct and advise i have gotten from my older relatives is to always hit her when she does it but i have been thinking to myself,is hitting her not reinforcing that hitting is away to get things done?I have tried time outs and naughty chair and making her sorry to mama or dada or whoever she hits thereby making her see that there are consequences for being naughty(this is the method also used at nursery).She does say sorry but still keeps hittting when she is upset.I have read so many articles on this and they have said it partly is because her communication skills are still developing and she gets frustrated that we cannot understand her point.This still does not make me feel any better as i feel that we need to do something about this and not just hope that she outgrows this.Practical suggestions that have helped in the past are welcome.

damiso:

hello everyone,

This is just to ask from some advise from all the mothers in the house with older kids.My LO is 19 months old and in the last couple of weeks i have noticed that she has started hitting or sometimes even biting when she does not seem to get her way. My typical Nigerian instinct and advise i have gotten from my older relatives is to always hit her when she does it but i have been thinking to myself,is hitting her not reinforcing that hitting is  away to get things done?I have tried time outs and naughty chair and making her sorry to mama or dada or whoever she hits thereby making her see that there are consequences for being naughty(this is the method also used at nursery).She does say sorry but still keeps hittting when she is upset.I have read so many articles on this and they have said it partly is because her communication skills are still developing and she gets frustrated that we cannot understand her point.This still does not make me feel any better as i feel that we need to do something about this and not just hope that she outgrows this.Practical suggestions that have helped in the past are welcome.

What's LO ?

One of my boys hit,bite and even tried screaming when he needs attention.I used the action and words method with him

First time he did that ,I gently held his hands and said hitting hurts,good children don't hit.I wont play with you again cos you hit me. . .He is the type that loves playing so he quickly apologized and promised not to hit again.

Next time he bit me,I quickly held his own hands,bit him firmly and he screamed "That hurts mummy" and I was like Oh yeah,it does.That did it  ,he understood what [b]hurts [/b]actually meant and never tried that again.

NB:Each child is unique,what worked for A might not work for B.

Lashing out in anger and frustration may teach reinforce the hitting.

Calmly reprimanding her, spanking her, then putting her in the naughty chair for 2 minutes, may work.

I think a combination method will work best.