The return of Militia. . . kinda like that ID better!

eldee:

I just got too addicted to Twitter . . . weird place, a lot of fun though.
I didn't know you's lot were planning a coup over here.

It's funny how I've been on this site for almost five years, that scares me.

This twitter sef. . . maybe I should give it a try. Say me Hi to my husband, I hear he's now a chief on there.

hahahahaha, laughing w/ my bottom
dayo still toasting, pity

Odunnu:

This twitter sef. . . maybe I should give it a try. Say me Hi to my husband, I hear he's now a chief on there.

Which husband?

the runaway husband

Oh dia!
Seeeeee sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep for 12 hrs non-stop!
Unbelievable.

So this is how death is?
My mama don carry her trouble go with her 40 pieces of Kentucky Fried Chicken. . . Chinekeeee.
How porson go come America to visit come carry Kentucky Fried Chicken(both Original and Grilled recipes. . .she can't get enough of them) load for suitcase dey carry go Naija via London kwa nu?
This Igbo woman na wah!

Mu he he he he. . . anyway, all na to prolong long life. What ever floats her foiiiiiine ikebe supa!
Gotta love her. Now I can live my life.
She should not be back till next year after visiting 4 times this year already. All medications filled for six months. Even dental floss and all her Elizabeth Arden Cream!!!!
That should fulfill her 'green card' retirements. She turns 65 next year and will become a bonafide 'senior citizen' with full Medicare benefits/
Good bye to "Blue Cross Blue Shield"!!! Hallelujah!

Na wetin all these peeps dey yarn for hia sef?

Okay. No need to reply una atol atol.

I got a CPR class to teach in one hour. . .time to bounce!


Later fans. Keep the 'hate' coming. I love it!

I was combing the whole Frisco for you yesterday.

Went door to door on Lebanon Road searching for my Aghenebode loff

^^^^

Mu he he he he he
You must have mizzzzed me by an inch. I was at Lebanon and Preston shopping for my mom yesterday.
I also stopped at Aggie's for that special fried plantain and tilapia fish with that special Cameroonian hot sauce for lunch.
No more Yembol since na 'Yoruba' peeps get the place. . . .
Before una go poison porsin for dia with all una Ogboni-Okija Christain love.

I am working at Centenniel Medical Center this month for my consultancy.
Why don't you check in the ER, so I can properly check you out?
I just got a new apartment too(changes every week or month depending on my clinical rotation)

You wanno come help me to celebrate my new 'sleep' number?

abeg no put mouth for matter wey no concern you.

nigerians and i too know.

bloody sell outs and saboteurs.

Errrrrrrrrrrm. . . . ?
In short.
Make I change location.

Lebanon and preston? That was the way I followed from Plano. How come i didnt see you.

That Aggies place on 635 and Skillman/Audelia? I first you reach there. walahi I dey go chop dem fish regularly before those small small pikin turn am to club for night to play their makossa muzic

Dont mind those Okoro Ngbatic people with their jujufied food moreover Yembol too far jare, How I go dey drive go Garland to chop food, Before I reach Las Colinas back, Hungry go don dey wire me.

New apartment, New sleep number bed? I like it!!! let me come and test it out if it can withstand Wear and tear of humping and bumping

Before I reach Las Colinas back, Hungry go don dey wire me.

Mu he he he he he

New sleep number bed? I like it!!! let me come and test it out if it can withstand Wear and tear of humping and bumping

My husband is coming to 'bless' it first this weekend. . .to ward off all evo Okoro-Yoruba spirits.

You must be starving o. You mean all those your 'Dayokanu' fan club is full of 'stale' puzis?

I guess after crawling all over NL and beyond for some 6 years plus. . .it is to be expected huh?

Pity!

Chintua:

Mu he he he he he

My husband is coming to 'bless' it first this weekend. . .to ward off all evo Okoro-Yoruba spirits.

You must be starving o. You mean all those your 'Dayokanu' fan club is full of 'stale' puzis?

I guess after crawling all over NL and beyond for some 6 years plus. . .it is to be expected huh?

Pity!

You know say your own get special flavour, I dont want those Okoro ngbatic ones na your South South poohsie I want.


Anytime I see the picture on your profile Mu diieekk dey strong kakaraka like say he wan tear trouser

ThiefOfHearts:

Twitter made me realze not all Nigerians are completely reetarded 

or maybe the ones I follow sha

True that . . . what's your handle let me stalk you a bit.

Odunnu:

This twitter sef. . . maybe I should give it a try. Say me Hi to my husband, I hear he's now a chief on there.

What husband?? The only NLers I know are from the Sports section.

dayokanu:

You know say your own get special flavour, I dont want those Okoro ngbatic ones na your South South poohsie I want.


Anytime I see the picture on your profile Mu diieekk dey strong kakaraka like say he wan tear trouser

Me sef dey fin-garrr myself when I look am too.
A masterpiece!
A fantastic work of art!
Very "Juicy"!
No Okoro-Yoruba "smell"!

Kpele o!
Sorry, I don't phock Nairalanders.
Never have and NEVER will.
Enjoy the "view".

Look no where you are running to if Nairaland is the problem I would deactivate my account sharp sharp.

I must to chop inside that poohsie.

I don dey pursue am sinceeeee

What I would give to get the old NL back

For once I agree with you chamotex

eldee, post yours. my own na private. Only Kanye has free access 

dayokanu:

Look no where you are running to if Nairaland is the problem I would deactivate my account sharp sharp.

I must to chop inside that poohsie.

I don dey pursue am sinceeeee

First of all, the MAIN reason I keep replying you is that I find you extremely entertaining.
You, that confessed to using another moniker or your cyber pal's ID with your useless gang of olodos to insult your mommas on this same NL? Mu he he he he he he. . . .You think say I don forget you? Hmmmm! Una go ban taya ke! I don pick my burial plot for this Nairaland. We go see who go run and who go taya.
Go bring ya gang and camouflage into wetin una wan be. I am always prepared.

I dey wait you ke. . . carry all of them come. I get ya time today. Here goes:

I don't do females for one. . . and I find 'males' more my 'equals'. . .since I grew up around MANY. Females bore me to death and I find MOST women extremely daft and superficial, especially with this their unhealthy pre-occupation with peh-nises to be relevant in life. So, let me explain where I am coming from, so you can understand once and for all.

The problem is not with NL per se. . but the just too many 'juvvies' inherent within. . . I am not at the point of looking for a sugar son. . . .YET.
MOST IMPORTANTLY, I don't mess with 'unmarried men'. That would be a gross demotion.
How can I allow a single boy. . .not even a man to see my 'paheint'?
I could never forgive myself. . . not that desperate!
Somebody MUST be loving ya FULL-TIME, so we can have something in common first.

To make matters worse. . . too many of you hia wey 'mmiri oshu'(TOTO WATER/AMNIOTIC FLUID) nefa dry from una heads, making you even worse than newborn infants since, new born infants have excuses to be a little 'slow' pending the achievement of the developmentally-appropriate milestones or cognitive accomplishments which MOST of you have woefully, failed to attain even in adulthood from the nonsense you write on the cyber airways, not to mention the way you interact amongst your local champs and chimps of ree-tarded, love-starved, desperate, juvenile-styled, popularity contestants of selves. . . . more like zomboid herds of diseased cattle looking for a cure from Satan(. . .a la misery loves company. . . in reality.)


I am not running away hon'! I NEVER do. . .especially from God-forsaken/CURSED NIGERIANS. I usually dare them to do their phocking WORST. I am still here baby. Some of us are well cooked. . .and are frankly UNTOUCHABLE, UNBREAKALBE AND CAN NEVER BE INTIMDATED BY RIFF-RAFFS ON OR OFF THE CYBER AIRWAYS. I always love a good fight. Some of us are waaaaaaay tooooooo liberated even by 'Western' standards. . .  Thanks to loving parents, family and A HUSBAND! Thank my GOD oh! I would have committed suicide if I had to get married to one of ya online by the standards of modern age. . . especially to a wretched one from NL of ALL places! Tufiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiakwa!!!!

I love to pick my phock mates. . .and you do not meet my criterion. So, I can't initiate you.


By now, you should know I do not play hard to get sir. What on earth for? I pay my own bills and I am not one of those your 'kokoye' NL gals/imported residence-permit-seeking old cargos, looking for a husband, 'respect' and or 'recognition' from cyber grasshoppers or praying-manthises with 'triangular' shaped-heads! If I wantcha. . .I usually make my MOVE first. If I don't wantcha. . .come hell or high water. . .our paths would NEVER cross.


So listen up sir, and to whom it may concern too.

1. Be over 40 and under 45. No over 45 with dead peh-nises please. I have passed the stage of 'balancing' my pweety Ikebe WITH BLOOD, SWEAT AND TEARS on ANY bum equipment that can't stand straight for more than 10 minutes. I nor dey for "O'baby'. . .abeg suck me harder small, make I for take 'strong' well h-enter ya puzi"!  You must come fully charged at ALL times AND without ANY assistance! I don't need 'lubricant' to be 'greased' either. Abeg, make una dey keep una 'gallon' of v[b]E[/b]seline for house. Mwah!

2. You must have a mother you adore and take care of(No social vagabonds who beat up women including their mothers too please)

3. NO SMOKERS. . . NO DRUNKS! I don't wan' any of ya to quench on my arzzzzz in one hotel room with ya filthy liver, kidneys or lungs. NO DISEASES PLEASE!!!!

4. Be gainfully employed(no cab drivers or peppersoup sellers, OR WEB SITE OWNERS(especially one local one who has NEVER left THE NIGERIAN SHALANGA and waaaaaaaaaaaaay too timid to use indoor plumbing system. . . or whose parents are still living in remote Nigerian villages without local airports or shyytting in 'Poes' retrieved from under their beds intermittently at night for convenience in the 21st century!!!) ,

NO WEBSITE/MESSAGE BOARD MODERATORS OR ADMINISTRATORS please(OR FRIENDS OF SUCH). . .too much of gossips(not to mention a sickening, exaggerated sense of self-importance!) I love to tango with professional dudes ONLY. No retired 'Ebony' dancers(morticians/pall-bearers who managed to find their ways abroad after abandoning their wives and children and juggling multiple caskets with stiff decaying, dead bodies in mid-air with simultaneously for decades back in Naija for a living either. . .while singing endlessly: WHAT SHALL I SAY UNTO MY LORD? ALL I GAT TO SAY IS TENK YOU LORD! TENK YOU LORD, TENK YOU MA LORD. . .ALL I GAT TO SAY IS TENK YOU LORD!)

Heavens forbid! Who wanno phock a cremateur?

5. You must be married for at least 10 YEARS. . . .have a well-mannered, PRETTY adorable wife who is not FAT. . .one you respect and love. . . . one I can be envious of at least, for something I DO NOT HAVE IN MY LIFE. . . .(if you are married to an ugly black woman. . . .with the skin color of the back of your granny's  village, cooking-pot. . . no religiousness/classy 'good-behaviour' can compensate for all that wor-wor-im!) Marrying an ugly woman(don't care how beaurrrriful her mind is). . .makes you a 'jacked up' "jew-guy' of a moo-goo. . .or a MOFO! At least we would understand why you keep running away from home to avoid inhaling all that ugliness! Please, keep your distance.

6. You must have beautiful children you go home to every night, instead of running the streets eating all puzis locally and inter-continenally! A health risk for sure! My goal is not to get you divorced or compete with your wife. But to be a loving 'god-mother' to your children in case you or your wife departs this planet in an untimely fashion. I know all my 'boyfriends' kids sir and vice versa. Who say ashewo work nor get "benefits". . .please, not UNA kinda NL or Naija website kind of scratch my arzzze and I scratch yours 'fan' club of cyber romance ok? Efry barry get im levo! My 'and no dey dat kain bizzinezzz!!! Ta!

7. No divorcees please! If you have been rejected by one or more females in marriage as one kain Ogboni-Okija, born-again divorcee or serial divorcee. . .something is wrong with you. Please, keep your family curses to yaselves!

8. No Facebook or social networking websites(the reason I love NL. . . NO PM functions! . . . Can't stand the pesky function on any forum. Lots of boring, egggstrrrremly LOCAL, UGLY, irritating, BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSH, jobless, busy-bodies with dry gists! Not to mention wor-wor faces. )

9A. You must not come from a polygamous home! Tufuakwa.
9B. You MUST not be Christian or a Muslim! Atheists and Agnostics ONLY!!!!

10. No 'behind-based' romantic encounters. I don't like to play with 'shyte'! Strictly one way entry. . .no bi-holar BASING! "Behind-based" virgins like myself ONLY. . .MALE OR FEMALE!!!!

11. No widowers. . .if God has divorced you . . . .instead of man( a judge in any divorce court) on account of your WICKEDNESS AND EVIL HEART, please keep away from me. I don't have widows and widowers in my family lineage who have killed their spouses with remote control witchcraft and sorcery. I dun wanno inherit your curses!

12. Finally, no female friends. I don't befriend man and WIFE! If a wanno phock ya arzzzze. . . I don't wanno know your wife or gal friend. Soooooooooooooo, keep ya biatchezzzz ourra ma face. NO COMPETITION PLEASE!

If you fail ANY of the above tests. . . please proceed to the 'check-out' counter of DEATH!

Oh boy! E get some 'mountain' wey you nor fit climb o! This na wan.

Lastly, I have noticed that you love to move around in a herd with that your nauseating, cowardly polymonikering Okoro-Ngbatiscious gang of spiritual dunces I absulutely CANNOT stand. I don't do cyber gangs or otherwise. I only relate with people on a one-to-one basis. . . .and what stays in Vegas, should stay in Vegas. I don't like male gossips. They are worse than female ones.

Thank you!

[size=20pt]PS.
NO YORUBA OR IGBO FROM ACROSS THE NIGER ESPECIALLY! TUFIAKWA TO THE HIGHEST PAWA!  No Okoro-Ngbatic, BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSH, locals please![/size]

Later my son.

Okay i'm sorry militia, but I couldnt help but LMAO. . .

lol!!!

kai! ^^^^^^^^^ @ militia!

dis heifer had me laffing like a mad woman! i sure sey mr-ikamefa go drive me go emergency room soon

kai! kai! oya oh DK na yah turn!

Militia!

Lord have mercy!

Am i qualify.yes.i can still remember mama gee.but it av bin long since av seen her here.i have to take a break because of that riot in religious section.i remember when i do dream of nairaland.very addicted then.

How come I'm just coming across this thread that's dedicated to celebrate we the first generation nairalanders.The only person I love missing is Bloody mr crackles. This guy is annoying as hell.

otu ocha,amu oji
love this thread!

Choi, ify! You are talking like DK now. Wow now I get what d bible says about bad manners corrupting good behavior. Lol

why not otu oji
amu ocha? eh ify?
who will play kalo kalo with dk and not get spoilt

Odunnu:

Choi, ify! You are talking like DK now. Wow now I get what d bible says about bad manners corrupting good behavior. Lol

I see you have been missing Sunday School classes; it is "evil communications corrupt good manners" lol

lol, thanx for the correction even though there might just be a bible translation that puts it that way.