Having dated this lady for about 5 years now, I decided to do justice to the promise I made to her buy going to see her parents. In addition to that and also to prove to her that I meant to keep my words, I equally paid her B-P hoping to wed by December or thereabout. She has been with me for sometime now and all has been moving smoothly. Then, came my kid sister, the last born in the house whom I don't use to play cos of the belief and hope she has in me as her benefactor. She came like two weeks ago for her UTME preparation and has already engaged for classes which she attends to every afternoon to return in the evening. You know ladies don't like cohabiting, I don't dispute that fact, but the issue now is that my fiancee is making me to be at the receiving end of the whole thing knowing quite alright that I am too emotional. I have called her severally and told her my sister won't stay for a long time but till the end of the forthcoming UTME scheduled for this month, she just doesn't want to understand me. I have asked her what she did to her severally and she said she doesn't like assisting her in the kitchen. I have equally shared duties at least to make her not to feel I am siding my sister even after cautioning my sister, yet she is still not happy. Please I really need your advice cos I have ever said that I won't take it from any lady that would want to come in between the peace I have built with my siblings, irrespective of the love I have for the lady. I can't condone it any longer.

Hmm...maybe you should engage them together in fun activities that would help them feel relax, get to know each other, and bond.

Well .from my own advice....FAMILY should come first,before any other person..(most especially if you have not yet married the lady)...if you have a good and understanding family,my brother,do not play with them....that lady is so full of herself,if she can't accommodate your siblings,bro,it's a red flag...she is egocentric.if you are the type that loves your siblings too,that lady is not good for you.i tell you..

Your fiancee is petty and troublesome for being at war with a teenager/JAMBITE in a few weeks.

Kids typically do not have many issues, except they are plain dysfunctional or someone is putting ideas in their heads. She can set your sister straight without constantly putting you in a position to choose. Without you knowing sef. How old is this sister? No be pikin?

If it were me, I would take her out with me to go do our hair and na you her brother go bring the money. After that, give her some decent big girl clothes. Nothing sweet those small girls pass this one. Na she go dey tell me all the babes wey call you.

She should learn tact. If my brother calls me, he will say “how is xyz?”, the moment I blush and say “he is fine”. Next thing that will follow is, “you get 10k wey you no dey use?” I go just weak.

You can’t have peace with your partner if you don’t accept their family or they don’t accept you. I don’t know how you plan to handle this, but she is starting off very wrong.

You never marry her yet she is complaining about how long your sister is staying in her own brother's house?

I be like say you be Agbaya.

I have called her severally and told her my sister won't stay for a long time but till the end of the forthcoming UTME scheduled for this month, she just doesn't want to understand me

You don’t negotiate with terrorists...

Telling her your sister won’t stay for long sounds good, but not a very good move. Sounds like, “oh, they’ll never stay long, I’ll continue to chase them away for you”.

I am someone who is averse to third parties in a home. Doesn’t matter which side, trust me. But then, it is an African/Nigerian thing to have them around. So , just meet me halfway and we are good.

I really cannot see what your sister has done wrong. Doesn’t assist her in the kitchen? How? Slice onions? Wash plates? How exactly?

Please, she should stop putting you in a spot. You have done your best to address the issue, except she wants your sister’s head on a plate. You have shared chores right? Your sister is now doing them. What does she want again?

If I were you, I'd tell her to go, since she and my sister can’t cohabit peacefully. When my sister leaves, she can return. Be a man and stop this, “She knows I am emotional...”

Op, your babe is manipulating you. This is where you have to take a stand devoid of emotion.

Let her know your sister can stay with you as long as you decide, and there’s nothing she can do.

She is not yet your wife in the first place. S don’t start what you won’t finish in the name of love.

But also make sure your sister isn’t the bad egg. If she is, discipline her accordingly too.

As a man you need to reason and act like one, or else you’re in for showdown.

Halo22:
Having dated this lady for about 5 years now, I decided to do justice to the promise I made to her buy going to see her parents. In addition to that and also to prove to her that I meant to keep my words, I equally paid her B-P hoping to wed by December or thereabout. She has been with me for sometime now and all has been moving smoothly. Then, came my kid sister, the last born in the house whom I don't use to play cos of the belief and hope she has in me as her benefactor. She came like two weeks ago for her UTME preparation and has already engaged for classes which she attends to every afternoon to return in the evening. You know ladies don't like cohabiting, I don't dispute that fact, but the issue now is that my fiancee is making me to be at the receiving end of the whole thing knowing quite alright that I am too emotional. I have called her severally and told her my sister won't stay for a long time but till the end of the forthcoming UTME scheduled for this month, she just doesn't want to understand me. I have asked her what she did to her severally and she said she doesn't like assisting her in the kitchen. I have equally shared duties at least to make her not to feel I am siding my sister even after cautioning my sister, yet she is still not happy. Please I really need your advice cos I have ever said that I won't take it from any lady that would want to come in between the peace I have built with my siblings, irrespective of the love I have for the lady. I can't condone it any longer.

What do you plan to do about the situation?
You're looking for who to tell you what to do?
If you cannot handle this, are you really ready for marriage?

If you don't put your foot down and handle this sh!t as you should, you're done for! Believe that!

Your younger sister cannot be up to 18 yet, someone your fiancee should take as her own little sister and be happy she's visiting, but she'd rather chase her away. It's not as if she will be there forever.

Sorry, there is nothing you can do about it, because it is deeply ingrained in their DNA. There is a vicious mentally a lot of them display when dealing with their in-laws, as if they are lepers that should be avoided. If the young girl were to be her sister would she make her stay uncomfirtable? Won't she go out of her way to assist her to pass her exams, and might even devise ways to get money from you to ensure that she gets whatever will make her stay in school pleasurable?

And the capitulation that rings through your pitiable lamentation says a thing or two about how emasculated you have become. If you condone this bullshit from her, take it from me, you will certainly condone more senseless and unreasonable bullshits from her.

Dem never marry her finish, she's already doing chairlady...

mrblessed:
Sorry, there is nothing you can do about it, because it is deeply ingrained in their DNA. There is a vicious mentally a lot of them display when dealing with their in-laws, as if they are lepers that should be avoided. If the young girl were to be her sister would she make her stay uncomfirtable? Won't she go out of her way to assist her to pass her exams, and might even devise ways to get money from you to ensure that she gets whatever will make her stay in school pleasurable?

And the capitulation that rings through your pitiable lamentation says a thing or two about how emasculated you have become. If you condone this bullshit from her, take it from me, you will certainly condone more senseless and unreasonable bullshits from her.

This...

You can't advise this type of man, it will be wasted.

but the issue now is that my fiancee is making me to be at the receiving end of the whole thing knowing quite alright that I am too emotional.



Your soon to be wife is beefing your kid sister, a teenager for that matter. Please address all this issues before getting married, get over your emotions, this are all red flags, don't be blinded by love sir!!

My dear, that's a red flag from all indications, you shouldn't throw your kid sister away because you are in love nah, only God knows how petty she would be to your mother,why will you even plead with her sef The number of years you guys stayed with isn't of any importance if she can't stay with your teenage sister....


You are too soft Biko....if you don't man your home now, when are you going to do so?na did kin one go say make you auction your family at OLX simply because you have wifed her....

You are not yet married to her and she behaves like this. At least she would have even pretended a little ( which is not good o). My brother, this fiancee of yours is troublesome and will put you on trouble later with your family in future. If the problem us not coming from your sister, please, try to think twice before you settle down with her.
NB: I haven't said she must acceptyour family to stay forever in your house when you are married o but you've explained her reason for staying that long, so what's her problem ha? Person you never marry o. Please, trend with care.

If the lady is like this with your kid sister, you can imagine what it'll be like having your male siblings around (if you have any). Let's not even talk about your mother.

Treat this matter as urgent, make e nor go tie george.

What a man

And what a woman indeed!

5 yrs yet you seem not to know this your wife.
5 yrs and you are still a boy.

She wrecks of inferiority complex.
You are a semi man.

Don't worry, your mum and the rest of your family are yet to pay you a visit.

Maybe, you will run away from your house.
Who emotional elp?

A jambite

When I was that age, hormones were seriously rioting, thanks to the ladies around me.

That girl is her ticket to your family and she is blowing it. Marriage shaky already. Mbok.

Show her this post. She should get her act together. Kitchen this kitchen that. We are so spoiled in this naija.

Let's look at it another way, what if it's your younger sister that's being cruel to her cos it's her brother's house? Don't say cos she's a teenager? What if she was beefing her and making her look like a fool? I know of one that doesn't greet her brother's fiancee first unless she greets her, she's a teenager too? Are you Yoruba? Cos the Yorubas aggravated it too, they said whomever the wife meets at home, must be respected as the husband. Maybe your sister wants to be respected, lols and called aunty ...... instead of being called by her first name. My thoughts tho. Try and eavesdrop on their little conversations to know. Really you may not know what brewing underneath except by stylish eavesdropping. However, whatever may be the case, your fiancee is very petty.

pocohantas:
Your fiancee is petty and troublesome for being at war with a teenager/JAMBITE in a few weeks.

Kids typically do not have many issues, except they are plain dysfunctional or someone is putting ideas in their heads. She can set your sister straight without constantly putting you in a position to choose. Without you knowing sef. How old is this sister? No be pikin?

If it were me, I would take her out with me to go do our hair and na you her brother go bring the money. After that, give her some decent big girl clothes. Nothing sweet those small girls pass this one. Na she go dey tell me all the babes wey call you.

She should learn tact. If my brother calls me, he will say “how is xyz?”, the moment I blush and say “he is fine”. Next thing that will follow is, “you get 10k wey you no dey use?” I go just weak.

You can’t have peace with your partner if you don’t accept their family or they don’t accept you. I don’t know how you plan to handle this, but she is starting off very wrong.

You are very wise pocahontas

You've paid her bride price she's your wife not your fiancee.

I've seen quite a number of men who don't know how to handle extended family when they get married and I am never able to appreciate why.

All you need do is reiterate that your sister leaving is not an option.

Ask your wife what d problem is. Your sister is not helping with chores? Ok what chores would you have her do?

You've now shared some chores to your sis and she's still not happy?

Man, you better put your foot down!

Your fiancee is being unreasonable.You need to put your foot down.
Talk to her again and ask her what she wants or what ways she wants your sister to help out in the house.

Leaving is not an option for your sister.If your fiancee won't learn to accommodate,ignore her.

The best thing is to have a talk with them together and find out what the problem is. If your sister is staying there, she needs to help out with chores and respect your lady. But you know that young people of today can spend hours just pressing phone and forgetting themselves (that might not be the case).

Also, your fiancee should take her as a younger sister and correct her accordingly and draw her close to her instead of creating animosity between them. Your fiancee is not her mate and should be able to manage her.

And it's not true that ladies don't like to cohabit with each other. The ones who act that way have personal issues.

Just talk with them first and find out the root of the issue and deal with it from there, before it escalates into a full blown problem.

And you are planning to marry this one. Tomorrow you will start writing articles of how she does not allow your family members into your home.

Continue!

pocohantas:


You don’t negotiate with terrorists...

Telling her your sister won’t stay for long sounds good, but not a very good move. Sounds like, “oh, they’ll never stay long, I’ll continue to chase them away for you”.

I am someone who is averse to third parties in a home. Doesn’t matter which side, trust me. But then, it is an African/Nigerian thing to have them around. So , just meet me halfway and we are good.

I really cannot see what your sister has done wrong. Doesn’t assist her in the kitchen? How? Slice onions? Wash plates? How exactly?

Please, she should stop putting you in a spot. You have done your best to address the issue, except she wants your sister’s head on a plate. You have shared chores right? Your sister is now doing them. What does she want again?

If I were you, I'd tell her to go, since she and my sister can’t cohabit peacefully. When my sister leaves, she can return. Be a man and stop this, “She knows I am emotional...”

Poco? Really?? Had to check the moniker twice after reading this

.Petty pplwho marry their husbands thinking that his folk doesn't exist.Theynever even grind beans Moin Moin don dey smell,when it's now grounded,big wahala.Alienate the op from his family?

Halo22:
Having dated this lady for about 5 years now, I decided to do justice to the promise I made to her buy going to see her parents. In addition to that and also to prove to her that I meant to keep my words, I equally paid her B-P hoping to wed by December or thereabout. She has been with me for sometime now and all has been moving smoothly. Then, came my kid sister, the last born in the house whom I don't use to play cos of the belief and hope she has in me as her benefactor. She came like two weeks ago for her UTME preparation and has already engaged for classes which she attends to every afternoon to return in the evening. You know ladies don't like cohabiting, I don't dispute that fact, but the issue now is that my fiancee is making me to be at the receiving end of the whole thing knowing quite alright that I am too emotional. I have called her severally and told her my sister won't stay for a long time but till the end of the forthcoming UTME scheduled for this month, she just doesn't want to understand me. I have asked her what she did to her severally and she said she doesn't like assisting her in the kitchen. I have equally shared duties at least to make her not to feel I am siding my sister even after cautioning my sister, yet she is still not happy. Please I really need your advice cos I have ever said that I won't take it from any lady that would want to come in between the peace I have built with my siblings, irrespective of the love I have for the lady. I can't condone it any longer.

Your sister is expected to respect her and assist her, that's just the main cause of their problems

Your wife to be also should understand that, she is just getting into the family and she is expected to accommodate her and the rest

It's always difficult for women to be compatible but this problem is coming too early

I think you need to seat both of them down get to know what's the reasons for their cold war

Then tell your sister to respect her for she is your wife and her senior

Tell your wife to love your sister and accommodate her

disgusting simp

MAGG0T:


[/b]And 2moro she'll give the same attitude to your mom.

The more reasoning I vow not to marry from this country, the kind of girls the country breeds these days, should be left to die single, they don't deserve to be in a man's house.[b]

In summary bro, they are Maggots

This op na mumu boy...
I no get advice to waste..
Check the comments and carry women advice for here..
Boy wey ladies for here get common sense pass am..

irijuola:
Let's look at it another way, what if it's your younger sister that's being cruel to her cos it's her brother's house? Don't say cos she's a teenager? What if she was beefing her and making her look like a fool? I know of one that doesn't greet her brother's fiancee first unless she greets her, she's a teenager too? Are you Yoruba? Cos the Yorubas aggravated it too, they said whomever the wife meets at home, must be respected as the husband. Maybe your sister wants to be respected, lols and called aunty ...... instead of being called by her first name. My thoughts tho. Try and eavesdrop on their little conversations to know. Really you may not know what brewing underneath except by stylish eavesdropping. However, whatever may be the case, your fiancee is very petty.

I biliv you read where the girlfriend said, kid sister dnt use to assist her in the kitchen, that says alot about the girl, she has ego and finding it difficult to respect and do chores for her guy's kid sister.

she forgets that the whole house will eventually becomes hers soonest, even if the kid sister is doing wrong, she is supposed to find way to tell her guy in not too hostile way rather than tactical malice she resulted to.