Welcome, Guest: Join Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / New
Stats: 2,691,978 members, 6,343,257 topics. Date: Thursday, 17 June 2021 at 10:12 AM

Preventing Infidelity: How To Stop Affairs Before They Start - Family - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Preventing Infidelity: How To Stop Affairs Before They Start (463 Views)

Zimbabwean Man Takes Used Condoms To Court As Prove Of Sister Inlaw’s Infidelity / I Will Make My Children To Marry At 16 If They Start Misbehaving - Lady / Infidelity: Wives, Mistresses’ Fights Get Messier, Spill To Social Media (pics) (2) (3) (4)

(1) (Reply) (Go Down)

Preventing Infidelity: How To Stop Affairs Before They Start by robosky02(m): 12:29pm On Jun 11
Preventing Infidelity:
How to Stop Affairs Before They Start
Affairs, both physical and emotional, are devastating.

It is estimated that approximately 46% of men and 25% of women will engage in an extra-marital affair during the lifetime of their marriage. Affairs, both physical and emotional, are devastating. The damage done after the discovery or revelation of an affair can destroy a marriage and family. Rebuilding a relationship after an affair, while certainly possible, can take a long time, and in some cases, may be unattainable. It is generally far better to prevent an affair from happening. Be aware of the danger signs of infidelity. The late Shirley Glass, Ph.D., was among the leading researchers in the field of infidelity. She describes three signs that should indicate to a person that they have crossed a marital boundary, and may be dangerously close to having an affair.

1. Emotional intimacy – Do you find yourself sharing deep thoughts and feelings with a member of the
opposite sex? Do you discuss details of your marriage and problems with your partner? Would you
not want your spouse to hear what you are saying?

2. Sexual tension – Do you find yourself sexually attracted to another person and imagine being with
that person in a romantic way?

3. Secrecy – Do you leave out details of your day because they include spending time with the person
you are attracted to? Do you lie to your spouse about this person?

Be honest with yourself and your spouse and do not ignore these signs.
It is a common myth that only people who are living in
an unhappy marriage engage in affairs. This is far from
reality. Sometimes, even people in happy marriages can
find themselves tempted to become involved with another
person outside of the marriage. The best way to prevent
infidelity is to mutually “affair proof” your marriage. The
following tips may be helpful.
It is a common myth that only
people who are living in an unhappy
marriage engage in affairs.


1. Honor your spouse by honoring your marriage vow of fidelity.
Remind yourself daily of the commitment you and your spouse have made to one another. Frame a
copy of your wedding vows and hang it someplace where you can see it daily as a gentle reminder of the
vows you took. Fidelity is a decision and you and your spouse need to understand that you both intend to
practice it.

2. Be aware of infidelity “danger zones.”
The workplace and the Internet can be dangerous to your marriage. Many people that engage in affairs
meet at work or on-line.
 Many jobs these days involve traveling, often
with male and female colleagues going on business
trips together. If there is a person from work that
you feel you may develop an attraction for, protect
your marriage by not spending time alone with
that person. At work, or while traveling, socialize
in groups. Be disciplined about your behavior in
working relationships. Be careful about drinking
alcohol when traveling or at work parties. Do not disclose too much personal information to people
at work. If you are having problems in your marriage, discuss this with a counselor not a friend
or colleague of the opposite sex. A good rule of thumb in terms of preventing an affair is to ask
yourself “would I be doing or saying this if my spouse was here”, if the answer is “no”, then you
may be treading into the danger zone of infidelity.
 On-line relationships can be very dangerous to a marriage. Many marriages today are damaged
by “emotional affairs” which occur via email, chat rooms, or other Web-based forums. Having a
close friendship with a member of the opposite sex can sometimes lead to an emotional affair.
Some indications of an emotional affair include sharing inappropriate or intimate thoughts or
personal information, talking in detail about your marriage in a negative way, and keeping the
relationship secret from your spouse. An “emotional affair” is often just as devastating to a
marriage as a physical affair. In each case, one spouse has turned away from their partner, is
being dishonest and is violating trust and honor in the marriage. Prevent on-line affairs by keeping
the computer in a shared room
such as a family room or kitchen
where the screen cannot be
hidden from your spouse. Avoid
chat rooms and discussing
emotional topics, personal or
marital problems with people
over the Internet.
If there is a person from work
that you feel you may develop an
attraction for, protect your marriage
by not spending time alone with that
person.
Prevent on-line affairs by keeping the
computer in a shared room such as a
family room or kitchen where the screen
cannot be hidden from your spouse.



3. Know yourself and create open lines of communication with your spouse.
 Honestly assess if you may be vulnerable to an affair. Ask yourself if you are angry with your spouse; you feel resentful; find it hard to communicate; or you feel disconnected. Any of these feelings can make you more susceptible to an affair.
 Discuss your concerns with your partner,
or meet with a couple’s counselor together
to learn how to approach difficult subjects.
 Consider taking a marriage
education class that will teach you good
communication and conflict management skills. These can give you the skills you and your
spouse need to have these conversations.
 Discuss together how to “affair-proof” your marriage. Find out what your partner is comfortable
with in regards to relationships with members of the opposite sex and set guidelines for how each
of you will behave in these situations. For example, you may agree that neither of you goes to
dinner alone with a colleague while traveling for work.
 Discuss the boundaries and expectations of your marriage in terms of fidelity.

4. Discuss with your spouse whenever you are feeling attracted to another person.
The myth that once we are married we will never be attracted to anyone else can be very damaging and can create a lot of personal feelings of guilt and shame if not expressed. People in happy marriages may occasionally be attracted to someone else. By mutually acknowledging this they can redirect themselves and be reminded of their boundaries and commitment to their marriage. By not discussing these issues, they become “secret” and it becomes easier to get involved in an affair.

5. Make your marriage a priority.
Life is very busy and it is easy to get caught up in work and children and other things that consume your time and energy. Many people let their marriage fall lower on the priority list and take their spouse for granted. Set aside daily time to reconnect with your spouse, even if just for a short while. A cup of coffee together in the morning, a time alone to talk in the evening, a weekly lunch date or a walk together after dinner are some simple ways to stay connected. The amount of quiet time together does not have to be huge, but spending 15-20 minutes a day alone together will help to keep your marriage on track.

6. Create a marriage vision.
One way to do this is to take some time alone and write a very specific vision of what a great marriage looks like to you. After each partner defines their own vision, they should share this vision with each other Consider taking a marriage education class that will teach you good communication and conflict management skills.


Lalasticlala mynd44
www.TwoOfUs.org

1 Like

Re: Preventing Infidelity: How To Stop Affairs Before They Start by fergie001: 12:34pm On Jun 11
War Start.....

Re: Preventing Infidelity: How To Stop Affairs Before They Start by robosky02(m): 12:36pm On Jun 11
fergie001:
War Start.....


At least with a good trampoline the rain will not reach your house
Re: Preventing Infidelity: How To Stop Affairs Before They Start by fergie001: 12:41pm On Jun 11
robosky02:
At least with a good trampoline the rain will not reach your house
Who needs the trampoline?

Let the rain fall everywhere biko.
Re: Preventing Infidelity: How To Stop Affairs Before They Start by Kriss216: 12:43pm On Jun 11
There's no template on how to Start or Stop affair.

1 Like

Re: Preventing Infidelity: How To Stop Affairs Before They Start by efficiencie(m): 12:58pm On Jun 11
@robosky02 forget it...if your nature is not compatible with doing what is right at all times you will almost always fall...it takes right size yansh and boobs and booom bro has forgotten he is married, it takes the right amount of cash, generosity and dick size and boooom sister's knees are knocking each other for another man...for the flesh lusts against the spirit and the spirit against the flesh! Stolen waters are insanely sweet and bread eaten in secret can give multiple orgasms...you must be born again to live right conveniently or else you spend the rest of your life contending with the delicious motions of sin until on day you fall like a pack of cards!

1 Like

Re: Preventing Infidelity: How To Stop Affairs Before They Start by robosky02(m): 2:11pm On Jun 11
efficiencie:
@robosky02 forget it...if your nature is not compatible with doing what is right at all times you will almost always fall...it takes right size yansh and boobs and booom bro has forgotten he is married, it takes the right amount of cash, generosity and dick size and boooom sister's knees are knocking each other for another man...for the flesh lusts against the spirit and the spirit against the flesh! Stolen waters are insanely sweet and bread eaten in secret can give multiple orgasms...you must be born again to live right conveniently or else you spend the rest of your life contending with the delicious motions of sin until on day you fall like a pack of cards!




for the flesh lusts against the spirit and the spirit against the flesh! Stolen waters are insanely sweet and bread eaten in secret can give multiple orgasms...you must be born again to live right conveniently or else you spend the rest of your life contending with the delicious motions of sin until on day you fall like a pack of cards!


Then you better Be born again now

1 Like

Re: Preventing Infidelity: How To Stop Affairs Before They Start by Richy4(m): 4:29pm On Jun 11
I'm glad I did not read that number 4 very well....Whoever wrote this wants family civil war...Apply number 4 and u will never hear the end of it

Re: Preventing Infidelity: How To Stop Affairs Before They Start by robosky02(m): 4:34pm On Jun 11
Richy4:
I'm glad I did not read that number 4 very well....Whoever wrote this wants family civil war...Apply number 4 and u will never hear the end of it



To get it secret is to do yourself more harm

You can indirectly say it and that will help you become accountable
Re: Preventing Infidelity: How To Stop Affairs Before They Start by Richy4(m): 4:54pm On Jun 11
robosky02:




To get it secret is to do yourself more harm

You can indirectly say it and that will help you become accountable

There are certain things that should be left unsaid buddy....The man or woman that introduced the proverb "let the sleeping dogs lie"...Is not foolish at all...feeling attracted to another woman and not saying it to the Mrs should be on top of the list of certain things that should be left unsaid... To avoid cold war especially in the bedroom,...Throwing it at our face at any given opportunity...and so no......Some might pick grudges with the said woman even when you have not made the intension known to the other woman ...It is dangerous whichever way you look at it....

1 Like

Re: Preventing Infidelity: How To Stop Affairs Before They Start by Bola146(f): 5:02pm On Jun 11
God bless you for this wonderful sermon
Re: Preventing Infidelity: How To Stop Affairs Before They Start by robosky02(m): 6:37pm On Jun 11
Bola146:
God bless you for this wonderful sermon


Thank you jare
Re: Preventing Infidelity: How To Stop Affairs Before They Start by efficiencie(m): 8:41pm On Jun 11
robosky02:





for the flesh lusts against the spirit and the spirit against the flesh! Stolen waters are insanely sweet and bread eaten in secret can give multiple orgasms...you must be born again to live right conveniently or else you spend the rest of your life contending with the delicious motions of sin until on day you fall like a pack of cards!


Then you better Be born again now

yelz ohh...I totally agree and on that path...
Re: Preventing Infidelity: How To Stop Affairs Before They Start by mosdii(m): 7:32am On Jun 12
Nigerian Girls Are Useless...All Of Them

2 Likes

Re: Preventing Infidelity: How To Stop Affairs Before They Start by robosky02(m): 10:59am On Jun 12
mosdii:
Nigerian Girls Are Useless...All Of Them


Really?

(1) (Reply)

Mother's Day Question / Tips For Happy Living For The Upward Mobile Lady. / 24 Hours Not Enough!!!

(Go Up)

Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health
religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket

Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10)

Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2021 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 114
Disclaimer: Every Nairaland member is solely responsible for anything that he/she posts or uploads on Nairaland.