You see these words "my ex is not my enemy " has destroyed so many marriage and relationship.
Exes are biggest threat to every relationship and marriage, yes they are not your enemy but they are something one needs to avoid then if you two meets by chance then you can greet ,gist and walk away.
Many women with such mentality "my ex is not my enemy "therefore I want to go to his place and invite him to my wedding, from there" can I get a last hug?
That was how they ended up in bed, from ordinary hug it turned to kissing, this is how many married woman got pregnant for their exes.
Many will be saying that they are matured spiritually to handle such, but forgot what the Bible said in 1 Corinthians 10:12 ...
Men on the other hand usually have the same mentality too, she is just a friend this and that...they forgot most times we fall in love with someone you didn't intend falling in love with by simply spending time with them, it may start as casual friends ,colleague e.t. c by spending time together you start seeing the beautiful qualities of the person that you don't know, from there intimate feeling can start building up.
When you are in a relationship/marriage you should respect your spouse feelings, and stop all this "we are just friends.
Yes that you are married or in a relationship doesn't mean you aren't allowed to make friends but know your limits..
Have this in mind
What a man doesn't want to eat he shouldn't take it close to his nose, because the nice aroma might be tempting to resist.

I think this applies to sexual relationships.

Relationships that were pure can still have the two parties become friends, na work e no work, no be say una commit sin with each other.

The worse part is when that ex was so good in bed and your current Bae isn’t.

You are right, I hate all this friend with ex rubbish.Nobody should try that with me.When and if I have an ex I'll assume he's dead and if our path ever cross I'll so ignore him like I've never seen or met him in my life,he should ignore me like I don't exist too,we are never friends in fact we are enemies.I hate that rubbish with passion

9ja girls are out to add more burden to your life instead of softening it.

In mosdii voice: They are all useless..... All of them!

OP you are very correct. So many beautiful relationships are are suffering or have ended as a result of exes.
From a personal experience I can tell you that a large percentage of women in relationships are guilty of this. I'm not trying to throw tantrums at women... no no no, like I stated earlier from experience.
That's why I always tell people, men especially, never to marry a woman who was strongly bonded with a previous relationship, except the person is dead. You see those type that tell you[b] 'that's the person I almost married' [/b].
Flee far away from such relationships. If the love has entered your head too much, then ensure to cut every form of communication, online/offline from them. When I say cut, I mean dagger/cutlass/knife/axe/bottle/razor etc type of cut. Cut it off. Although my best advice still remains you avoid such relationship.
But unfortunately most women are stubbornly blind to what men see. They will still choose to keep such friendships, thinking they are in control, thinking they trust themselves. At the end of the day, maybe just maybe some issues spring up in the relationship due to the ex, it is the same ex she would call or visit to find solace. Make the ex come be badt guy like, na untop bed dem go end las las. Naked. I must enter O.
Know this know peace

Savedday:
9ja girls are out to add more burden to your life instead of softening it.

In mosdii voice: They are all useless..... All of them!

Teeboy15:
OP you are very correct. So many beautiful relationships are are suffering or have ended as a result of exes.
From a personal experience I can tell you that a large percentage of women in relationships are guilty of this. I'm not trying to throw tantrums at women... no no no, like I stated earlier from experience.
That's why I always tell people, men especially, never to marry a woman who was strongly bonded with a previous relationship, except the person is dead. You see those type that tell you[b] 'that's the person I almost married' [/b].
Flee far away from such relationships. If the love has entered your head too much, then ensure to cut every form of communication, online/offline from them. When I say cut, I mean dagger/cutlass/knife/axe/bottle/razor etc type of cut. Cut it off. Although my best advice still remains you avoid such relationship.
But unfortunately most women are stubbornly blind to what men see. They will still choose to keep such friendships, thinking they are in control, thinking they trust themselves. At the end of the day, maybe just maybe some issues spring up in the relationship due to the ex, it is the same ex she would call or visit to find solace. Make the ex come be badt guy like, na untop bed dem go end las las. Naked. I must enter O.
Know this know peace

I agree with you 100%.

Romanoff:
I think this applies to sexual relationships.

Relationships that were pure can still have the two parties become friends, na work e no work, no be say una commit sin with each other.

There is no purity anywhere near such arrangements. Take correction

dairykidd:

There is no purity anywhere near such arrangements. Take correction

Yes there is.

You can be friends with someone you weren't physically involved with.

But once you both have slept with yourselves, that's where I believe it's inappropriate.

I don't do exes. If we dated and we are no longer dating, I am not your ex, neither are you mine. Just go your way..I want no word relationship.

Romanoff:


Yes there is.

You can be friends with someone you weren't physically involved with.

But once you both have slept with yourselves, that's where I believe it's inappropriate.

Well.. the OP said EX. If u meant an ex that didn't get a chance at ur coochie then that's even worse cos its a bloody ticking time bomb.. Keeping an ex for wtv reasons when u are in a beautiful and meaningful relationship is pure foolishness. It will never end well. There's a reason they're exes. If u weren't ready to let them go why jump into a new relationship and entangle urself in the unholy trinity. Stick with the ex and leave the new guy to meet someone wholly focused on what they have. Life is quite easy but we keep getting it all complicated.. I mean why keep an ex around when u have something good going?
Except you're not sure about the new one.. then u shouldn't be in any relationship just yet until u are ready. Abeg i have work to do jare.

chatinent:
I don't do exes. If we dated and we are no longer dating, I am not your ex, neither are you mine. Just go your way..I want no word relationship.

abi ooo.

Once you're an ex, you no longer exist. Bye

dairykidd:

Well.. the OP said EX. If u meant an ex that didn't get a chance at ur coochie then that's even worse cos its a bloody ticking time bomb.. Keeping an ex for wtv reasons when u are in a beautiful and meaningful relationship is pure foolishness. It will never end well. There's a reason they're exes. If u weren't ready to let them go why jump into a new relationship and entangle urself in the unholy trinity. Stick with the ex and leave the new guy to meet someone wholly focused on what they have. Life is quite easy but we keep getting it all complicated.. I mean why keep an ex around when u have something good going?
Except you're not sure about the new one.. then u shouldn't be in any relationship just yet until u are ready. Abeg i have work to do jare.

I don't know how to explain it sha.

There are relationships that just doesn't work and you both agree to end it, no animosity, no resentment.

The reason I said it applies to only sexless relationships is cause I believe the temptation is less, wetin you never chop before no fit hungry you.

You both could still be valuable to each other in business or employment. I know many people that have lost opportunities because their exes were involved and they resent each other.

Doesn't mean y'all are buddies that chat every day.

Romanoff:


I don't know how to explain it sha.

There are relationships that just doesn't work and you both agree to end it, no animosity, no resentment.

The reason I said it applies to only sexless relationships is cause I believe the temptation is less, wetin you never chop before no fit hungry you .

You both could still be valuable to each other in business or employment. I know many people that have lost opportunities because their exes were involved and they resent each other.

Doesn't mean y'all are buddies that chat every day.

Lol..u like to play with thunder and fire abi ?
No be wetin man never chop before dey hungry am pass? And now she's dating someone else so stealing the pussy becomes the topping. The thrill in the chase, deception and pretence, suppressed emotions building little fires ready to burst into a crazy inferno? And cut that bs about losing opportunities because of an ex involved bla bla bla.. I wish u well on keeping exes and new relationships. Your current guy dey try. I hope u wouldn't feel bad when he tells u he is hanging out with a hot ex whenever u happen to call him because they're both not yet fvcking each other?

dairykidd:

Lol..u like to play with thunder and fire abi ?
No be wetin man never chop before dey hungry am pass? And now she's dating someone else so stealing the pussy becomes the topping. The thrill in the chase, deception and pretence, suppressed emotions building little fires ready to burst into a crazy inferno? And cut that bs about losing opportunities because of an ex involved bla bla bla.. I wish u well on keeping exes and new relationships. Your current guy dey try. I hope u wouldn't feel bad when he tells u he is hanging out with a hot ex whenever u happen to call him because they're both not yet fvcking each other?

You still don't get it.

I'm not talking about hanging out and claiming to be besties with your ex.

But vilifying someone cause a relationship didn't work just doesn't sit right with me. And I am saying this only about sexless relationships.

Y'all don't have to be best friends. There are friends we don't talk to for months unless it's necessary. Some we prolly won't even ever see again.

But does that mean y'all aren't friends?

An ex isn't an enemy. If you're unable to discipline yourself with an ex, you prolly won't be able to even discipline yourself with people you'll meet when you're in a relationship or when you're married.

I feel like instead of dealing with the fact that people can't discipline themselves, they choose avoidance all through. I see it as a coping mechanism. But what happens if you and this ex find yourselves together?

Does it mean like a dog in heat, you'll just pounce on each other?

I might not understand where y'all are coming from cause all my relationships were sexless (Christian courtships).

So maybe I'll just sit this one out.

Romanoff:


You still don't get it.

I'm not talking about hanging out and claiming to be besties with your ex.

But vilifying someone cause a relationship didn't work just doesn't sit right with me. And I am saying this only about sexless relationships.

Y'all don't have to be best friends. There are friends we don't talk to for months unless it's necessary. Some we prolly won't even ever see again.

But does that mean y'all aren't friends?

An ex isn't an enemy. If you're unable to discipline yourself with an ex, you prolly won't be able to even discipline yourself with people you'll meet when you're in a relationship or when you're married.

I feel like instead of dealing with the fact that people can't discipline themselves, they choose avoidance all through. I see it as a coping mechanism. But what happens if you and this ex find yourselves together?

Does it mean like a dog in heat, you'll just pounce on each other?

I might not understand where y'all are coming from cause all my relationships were sexless (Christian courtships).

So maybe I'll just sit this one out.

Oh okay now I understand u very well with the Christian courtship thing... so basically u enter into it without the expectations of intimacy right? So well no one is too strong to fall for temptation hence the advice to flee. If u haven't noticed this world and its entire system is messed up the way it is and the system promotes everything and anything to destroy what we know as normalcy. Starting a sexual relationship with other people's wives and husbands is now more easier than ever. And u need to be strong and wise to survive. Not putting ur self in any compromising position is what anyone should do. This is way more than discipline let's be honest with ourselves. I still maintain u don't need them but it doesn't mean u should be enemies but u don't need to be friendly either. Just let them go and if u ever come across each other a simple greeting or chit chat will do. Not keeping their numbers or chatting them up even without hanging out with them makes no sense to me. So my dear u shouldn't be enemies but u don't need to give them any space in ur new life or entertain them. Having known them is enough and it should remain that way.. when it comes to such things its black or white for me. No gray areas. I know what i have seen from married exes and even other married women who act like they're still single and their husbands see nothing wrong with it. I get ur point tho but u shouldn't have used the word "friends with" in ur first post because u only know what's in ur heart and not that ex. If u don't keep close communication with them or keep their contacts u can't call that a friend na. He's just someone u know and should never go beyond that.

dairykidd:

Oh okay now I understand u very well with the Christian courtship thing... so basically u enter into it without the expectations of intimacy right? So well no one is too strong to fall for temptation hence the advice to flee. If u haven't noticed this world and its entire system is messed up the way it is and the system promotes everything and anything to destroy what we know as normalcy. Starting a sexual relationship with other people's wives and husbands is now more easier than ever. And u need to be strong and wise to survive. Not putting ur self in any compromising position is what anyone should do. This is way more than discipline let's be honest with ourselves. I still maintain u don't need them but it doesn't mean u should be enemies but u don't need to be friendly either. Just let them go and if u ever come across each other a simple greeting or chit chat will do. Not keeping their numbers or chatting them up even without hanging out with them makes no sense to me. So my dear u shouldn't be enemies but u don't need to give them any space in ur new life or entertain them. Having known them is enough and it should remain that way.. when it comes to such things its black or white for me. No gray areas. I know what i have seen from married exes and even other married women who act like they're still single and their husbands see nothing wrong with it. I get ur point tho but u shouldn't have used the word "friends with" in ur first post because u only know what's in ur heart and not that ex. If u don't keep close communication with them or keep their contacts u can't call that a friend na. He's just someone u know and should never go beyond that.

The reason it's black and white for you is prolly cause of your sexual history and experiences.

I'm glad you are seeing it from my point of view as well.

Rozcol:
You are right, I hate all this friend with ex rubbish.Nobody should try that with me.When and if I have an ex I'll assume he's dead and if our path ever cross I'll so ignore him like I've never seen or met him in my life,he should ignore me like I don't exist too,we are never friends in fact we are enemies.I hate that rubbish with passion

You sound like someone who has low self esteem

Carchoice:
The worse part is when that ex was so good in bed and your current Bae isn’t.

you actually hit the nail on the head with a sledgehammer .

Romanoff:


The reason it's black and white for you is prolly cause of your sexual history and experiences.

I'm glad you are seeing it from my point of view as well.

Its all good

Rozcol:
You are right, I hate all this friend with ex rubbish.Nobody should try that with me.When and if I have an ex I'll assume he's dead and if our path ever cross I'll so ignore him like I've never seen or met him in my life,he should ignore me like I don't exist too,we are never friends in fact we are enemies.I hate that rubbish with passion

Who's behind this write-up ? Are you a she or a her?

Because girls this days always keep in touch with their ex for sexual satisfaction.

kaykaybillion:


Who's behind this write-up ? Are you a she or a her?

Because girls this days always keep in touch with their ex for sexual satisfaction.

There's nothing wrong in fùcking your ex from time to time

BareFacedLies:


There's nothing wrong in fùcking your ex from time to time

Guy when you marry, your wife go Bleep her ex time to time still come house cook for you

kaykaybillion:


Guy when you marry, your wife go Bleep her ex time to time still come house cook for you

While she's fùcking her ex I'll be fùcking your wife

The danger is that he will shag you again. Let your ex be your ex. why do you all like talking to your ex though? Let your ex go.

Tell them

BareFacedLies:


While she's fùcking her ex I'll be fùcking your wife

Hehehehehehe,... Now you get the point abi?