I pray that one lucky day,
You'll think back in some way,
About those days you really cared,
And the love we once shared,
How we promised to stay together,
No matter the weather,
How i used to drive you crazy,
And the lovely way you called me baby,
How you said my name,
And set my soul aflame,
How romantically i held your hand,
And rocked you like a star quest band,
How you called me your life,
And vowed to be my wife,
How eager you craved for my tender touch,
And how you missed me so much,
But i never for once new,
Even with the boldest clue,
That you who served me so much bliss,
Would ever desert me like this,
You pledged never to leave,
Saying to my bossom you'll forever cleave,
You so pledged to stick to me like glue,
But your stories were lies - not true,
Now i am soaked in my rue,
Like a beef in a stew,
My heart can barely beat,
Without you around i can scarcely eat,
Just like a desert eagle gun shot,
It hurts so bad alot,
And if my ruined life was for rent,
It would cost no more than a cent,
For i feel like am already dying,
Because over you i can't not stop crying,
So now my heart can no longer trust,
For a long while it will stay still and rust.

You need to give this poem life. Its too dull.

mikuz:

I pray that one lucky day,
You'll think back in some way,
About those days you really cared,
And the love we once shared,
How we promised to stay together,
No matter the weather,
How i used to drive you crazy,
And the lovely way you called me baby,
How you said my name,
And set my soul aflame,
How romantically i held your hand,
And rocked you like a star quest band,
How you called me your life,
And vowed to be my wife,
How eager you craved for my tender touch,
And how you missed me so much,
But i never for once new,
Even with the boldest clue,
That you who served me so much bliss,
Would ever desert me like this,
You pledged never to leave,
Saying to my bossom you'll forever cleave,
You so pledged to stick to me like glue,
But your stories were lies - not true,
Now i am soaked in my rue,
Like a beef in a stew,
My heart can barely beat,
Without you around i can scarcely eat,
Just like a desert eagle gun shot,
It hurts so bad alot,
And if my ruined life was for rent,
It would cost no more than a cent,
For i feel like am already dying,
Because over you i can't not stop crying,
So now my heart can no longer trust,
For a long while it will stay still and rust.

Very sensitive poem.

Good thoughts make good words.

Well written.

whaoo 9ce poem. U can use this to console her.

this is the girl i know much
Wether she knows me i know not
As We met God know much
By earing her voice my blood ruch
Just to be with her i dont need luch
I wount let her heart cruch

Okay guys thanks alot!

mikuz, its takes time you'll definitely get there
I notice that you try to adhere to the rules of rhymes
The same mistake i had as a poetic-baby
Use rhymes that don't rhymes, its sweet that way
Who says poems ain't sweet without rhymes, anyway!
Dont just write, write out your mind


Your fellow Wordknight
Tenibegiloju Smartfingers

Thanks a lot! Really appreciate it.