Single parenting and type 1 diabetics as a young boy has been the biggest burden to my life.

When the both parents decide to go haywire and greedy what do you expect... Trauma

Taiwojon:
So terrible

But all the same. JESUS care for the children.

Jesus save.

All who have Jesus no matter the downfall by marriage they always stand out

Come to Jesus, JESUS SAVES

Not easy

@ op, not easy.

obajoey:
Why divorce in the first place?

Someone saw the red flags from the beginning but chose to ignore

Just like a lady that I know closely, wen she was dating her husband, the guy dnt use to spend at all for her, to the extent that sister in law asked her, will you be able to marry my Stingy brother now? The lady was smiling, just cos she wanted to marry at all cost.

Fast forward to 2021, they are living like cat and rat under same roof, little money that comes to husband pocket, he prefers to spend it on beer for friends.

Now, wife is angry with all the husband family, as if they were there wen they met

Divorce is still far better than bringing up kids in a home where both parents hate eachother and fight everyday.

Divorce and separation..... What a great disservice to the society/community and to humanity in general..

Ego and the unwillingness to submit or sacrifice in a marriage leads to divorce.
Many couples fail to realise that childbearing is an extension of what they(the couple), have for each other.
Until they direct a higher fraction of those feelings to these children rather than satisfying their individual motives, then there will always be cases of divorce/ separation.

My one kobo.

Very interesting write up.

Also, the child's trauma starts when the family is dysfunctional and toxic.

The separation just adds another layer to it especially if they are not old enough or enlightened enough to understand why their parents had to part ways.

The solution is from the foundation: be right person and marry right. Also resolve any trauma you have to enable you raise well-rounded kids.

Some marriages are not toxic however, the parents' method of training the kids are.

This speaks my language

Children been holding marriage since 001 BCE. Really Loving your kids,go make you go through many shits .

Las las


Divorce ain’t no option, if physical abuse and threat of life is not involved

Like begets like. So sad!!

mariovito:
It's a messed up situation. A kid needs the balance from both parents to develop into a balanced adult. The animosity, chaos and lack of love that comes with separation and divorce always rubs off wrongly on the kids. They grow up with a warped mentality about life.
A kid needs a father figure to look up to, this instils discipline and order while the mother balances out with all the love care.

I had a roommate in school who was raised by a single mom. It always showed in his demeanor. Always felt entitled, easy to pick a quarrel and keep malice.

My any means necessary, marry someone you know you can. Stay with in the long run but most times we marry for the wrong reasons; big nyash, the guy has a fat wallet and then down the road shit hits the fan.

This has led to the rise in dysfunctional society because the family is the nucleus of the society. We now have many girls running "package" and many guys taking to crime partly because of this.

Many times I fancy the idea of having a baby mama but then I think about the deprivation that kid will experience and I jettison the thought.

I hope and plan to raise my kids in a family set up.
But then, many of these things are beyond us. We make plans but then fate is the ultimate decider.

It's a beautiful Thursday afternoon here in the capital city, so let me
**Spark my kpoli in a peaceful manner**

Adopt a child

The worst that could happen to any child.

Deicide:
So if you see you dad beating your mum you are going to assume it's normal?

Some people grew up with that. They begin to think mum probably deserved it. That women need to be disciplined once a while that way.

I know of someone whose dad presented her husband with a cane to use and flog her each time she "misbehaves".

She use to beat her mum.

MufasaLion:
It's really a horrible experience for most kids especially when their parents are celebrities. Their classmates, most especially their friends are gonna tease them, or even bully them over it.

The psychological effect is very bad!

You are missing the point. What is more horrible is not the actual divorce but the conflict that is the marriage....

In many other instances, this conflict between parents often hinder them from getting emotionally involved in their children’s life as is supposed to be. They become distant and detached and may only attend to their kids superficially. That deep connection and emotional care which is very vital for the growth, development and all-round well being gets missing. This is a very critical deficiency as kids who lack this emotional support and care usually turn out to be wanting in one area of character or another.

The need for attention is inherent in all human beings and highly prominent in kids. However, when there is a separation in the home, the level of attention reduces greatly. In most cases, the children will have to grapple with the absence of one or both of the parents. When there is a separation, many parents usually cease to stay together, meaning the children will have to spend more time with one of the parents than the other. In worst cases, the children are even sent to third parties to carter for them. As such, the children lack the physical presence, comfort and attention from their parents.

Many whose parents aren't even divorced experience the same level of abandonment.

Deicide:
So if you see you dad beating your mum you are going to assume it's normal?

The average person in Nigeria still thinks it Normal.

Sonnobax15:
The consequences of divorce is normally suffered by the kids,as they'd be subjected to separation.......
Speaking from experience, that's one thing I won't wish on anyone......I can't really speak of which is at least preferable between a polygamous home and a broken home cus they both carry similar magnitude of damage on the kids .......

The side effect of it all is always massive......

Was it the divorce that was most terrible or the conflict that was the marriage itself that the kids suffered the most from?

Fiscus105:
Thats why you have to think critically before you choose partner, ail these outward preferences would soon tire you and remain personality to make the marriage carry on.

The money you think the guy has, would he use it to take care of his kids not to talk of you?

Meanwhile, how many couples even think of well beings of kids wen they are together let alone after separation.

No matter how critically you think these things through, what's gonna be is gonna be. Conflict in marriage is to be expected.

The best is to decide ahead to always protect the children from whatever conflict that marriage may bring. If divorce turns out a better option for all, then take it.

Kobojunkie:
No matter how critically you think these things through, what's gonna be is gonna be. Conflict in marriage is to be expected.

The best is to decide ahead to always protect the children from whatever conflict that marriage may bring. If divorce turns out a better option for all, then take it.

If you think critically, the level of divorce would reduce by 2/3 and by extension single parenting.

I biliv u read post by a lady to Tonto , she said dikey must look inward and stop dating the type of men she is dating, .....Tonto refuses to think critically and going for same type of person, who can suit her style and she keeps having problem,. U can also check post by Funke Akindele as well.

If you rush to marry certain individual without thinking very well, if two of you would be able to cope during raining and dry season, my friend ur marriage would fall yakata. And circle of single parenting would continue.

I cant even begin to fathom the psychological and emotional damage it would have on my kids if i go that route. Beyond this though, I am grateful for my kind of wife. She is one in a million and we gel superbly.

Fiscus105:
If you think critically, the level of divorce would reduce by 2/3 and by extension single parenting.

I biliv u read post by a lady to Tonto , she said dikey must look inward and stop dating the type of men she is dating, .....Tonto refuses to think critically and going for same type of person, who can suit her style and she keeps having problem,. U can also check post by Funke Akindele as well.

If you rush to marry certain individual without thinking very well, if two of you would be able to cope during raining and dry season, my friend ur marriage would fall yakata. And circle of single parenting would continue.

So long as two different individuals are involved, conflict is almost always guaranteed to take place. It does not matter how quickly one enters into relationship or how how one waited to enter into it. And this conflict, is again,what inflicts the bulk of the strain on the minds of the children in the marriage. Divorce is chose in most cases as a way of resolving the conflict.

Avoiding divorce should not be primary goal of any couple but avoiding conflict should be.

I don't read or know much about Tonto so I can't adequately respond to any of what you have said of the case. What I do know is that when it comes to human relationships conflict is where it all starts and where the bulk of the suffering inflicted on all parties involved arrives. Divorce is only a potential solution to the conflict and so should not be considered the problem in these things.

DLSReigns:
I cant even begin to fathom the psychological and emotional damage it would have on my kids if i go that route. Beyond this though, I am grateful for my kind of wife. She is one in a million and we gel superbly.

The psychological damage begins when you have unresolved conflict in your marriage. It is born of the conflict in the marriage and not of the divorce which is typically a resolution chosen for the conflict.

So when a couple exists in constant conflict , the very same psychological torment is inflicted on the children's psyche. The root of it is not divorce but the problems in the marriage that go unresolved.

Kobojunkie:
So long as two different individuals are involved, conflict is almost always guaranteed to take place. It does not matter how quickly one enters into relationship or how how one waited to enter into it. And this conflict, is again,what inflicts the bulk of the strain on the minds of the children in the marriage. Divorce is chose in most cases as a way of resolving the conflict.

Avoiding divorce should not be primary goal of any couple but avoiding conflict should be.

I don't read or know much about Tonto so I can't adequately respond to any of what you have said of the case. What I do know is that when it comes to human relationships conflict is where it all starts and where the bulk of the suffering inflicted on all parties involved arrives. Divorce is only a potential solution to the conflict and so should not be considered the problem in these things.

So you don't need to think critically before venturing in marriage, even decisions that are not pertaining to marriage?

Hope you know the meaning of critically?

You are telling me you dnt use think "very well" (critically) before taking decisions of ur life journey?

You guys should endeavors to read and reason before you argue on public comments pls.

Bye.

Fiscus105:
So you don't need to think critically before venturing in marriage, even decisions that are not pertaining to marriage?

Hope you know the meaning of critically?

You are telling me you dnt use think "very well" (critically) before taking decisions of ur life journey?

You guys should endeavors to read and reason before you argue on public comments pls.

Bye.

I am not saying one should not think critically when making life decisions. What I am saying is that all the critical thinking in the world will not keep you from running into conflict in a relationship - any relationship. It is to be expected

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Hmmmm

binarymachine:


https://flipmemes.com/2021/08/25/the-plight-of-kids-in-the-midst-of-divorce-and-separation/

Good piece

Blackdisciple:
When the both parents decide to go haywire and greedy what do you expect... Trauma

The trauma begins right in the marriage, not at divorce.

Kobojunkie:
The trauma begins right in the marriage, not at divorce.

Sure...
I pity kids that their parents are something else.
Hope the kids will find love and parental care and attention again....

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