danski:
Had to go nd play ps wit my guys frim 12pm to 4pm

Dem don de search for me tire....i con de tink of lie to talk say ii go buy water

Omo dat nite frim 2am to 5am intensive beating

Baba you get am. My own na 12pm till late in the night. I chop better cane and punishment becos of PS ehn.
My papa beat me ehn! My mama own na for midnight.

Na same thing happen to me, but na right there as I see my dad nai e remove slippers for leg begin use am follow me up. I nearly died that day when we got home. I hate that okada man for a very long time.

realestate99:
After school every day, we used to play football making my uniform dirty, my father usually ask if I usually roll in the mud during school hours but I usually lied that it was due to the rigorous work on the school farm.

Then a day came, the okada man my dad assigned to be transporting me failed to come but he has contacted my dad earlier in the day that he would not be available. My dad came to the school but most students were already out but he spotted a group of students playing ball near the school field.

I was enjoying the match when the ball went outside for a throw in, I was about picking the ball when I saw a figure that looked like my father, I just stopped suddenly, I couldn't move a nerve, the boys were shouting Wale !!! go and pick the ball,time is going. I did not even acknowledge their protests, I finally wake up from my slumber, my father was looking at me like an hyena ready to pounce on a rabbit.

I was looking for my school bag for almost a minute, little did I know that my bag was used as a marker for goal post, I carried the bag and the boys were shouting, wale!!! where are you going? we do not have another bag for making post!!! I did not even utter a word, later they saw me and my father moving towards the gate, I could hear their voices from the background saying, Wale don die today!!! so na him father dey look us all this while.

samuel051:
Around 08,my cousin call him papa malu..he father chokeslam am for chair,use those chairs pillow follow am up,press big big konk for him head,convert my guy head to tegwolo own..e no funny/over funny dat day ...
D boy was around 3years old,very stubborn.

Lwkmd... Kai, I almost piss fo bodi with laughter

Crossroad1:
Alot of stupid things
I remember when I saw ripe pawpaws and decided to climb the tree cos I dey feel oversabi... And man don dey get small biabia for gbola then.
Na so I use head carry devil beans, the thing come still scatter for my body.. Na from untop tree I start to pull clothes..
Compound full of female tenants..
Pull everything and was rolling on the ground..
After that ordeal, I couldn't come out for almost a week and if am to come out, I avoid all females or make I bone dem

This story is fake. Is it even possible for someone of your size to climb pawpaw tree? Pawpaw trees are very figile and don't even have branches for you to hold on to

haslaw:


This story is fake. Is it even possible for someone of your size to climb pawpaw tree? Pawpaw trees are very figile and don't even have branches for you to hold on to

someone of my size how?

Silentgroper:
For wat? Aunty talk something jor. U think we are here to be entertaining u.

we are doing mom nd dad nd I was playing with yam water mom was saying stop it I no hear,I pour the water on my body I can Neva forget that day

I love swimming when I was a kid, on this unfortunate day I lied to my dad that I want to wash at one popular nd very big dam in suleja den,told him I won't enter well 0when I got der I enter I was swimming when I saw my dad with cane not knowing someone has reprted me to him,it was inside that river he started beating me till I got home,, a day I won't forget. Even till ss2 I still swim, after school me nd my friends will be looking for available river to swim,clean or dirty we swim.
After service on Sunday I was playing outside the church when a boy dare me to hit on his head with the big stone I was holding, I did he started bleeding it was very big,my dad beat me nd I pee on my body,..I nearly died that day
When I was a kid I was very stubborn oo... The kind beating I used to give my siblings ehn
I'm Now gentle,mom is surprised that I can be quiet.. If u like shout from today till tomorrow pim I won't say..

ideatoprince18:
There was this particular Aunt that likes calling me Her husband..... I was like 8 or so ..... She would go out and buy something and give to me .... When she cooks she will bring out my own and when I come back from school she would give me like she virtually treated me like a husband.

I use to see a man then visit her but I thought he was her brother until the day my mom took me to attend her wedding ..... I cried ehn ..... I cried like say tomorrow no day .... People were surprised and they were looking at my mum .... My mum had to take me out of the hall and asked me what is that .... I told her that the brother was taking my wife away.... My Mum was surprised but she just told me that after the wedding she will try and see if I could see the Aunty before we go home .

After wedding we waited until the Aunty they were less busy so the Husband and her came outside to greet my Mum. Immediately I saw them, I burst into tears again. I told the Husband that brother u are taking my Wife away .... The man was so surprised that he started laughing even the aunty was surprised and nearly emotional ... The man just carried me and told me that he is not taking her away tht he would bring her back later for me and gave me #50 .

Up till now I still dey find the man

wetin you want do the man

Crossroad1:
someone of my size how?

You would be about 15 years old at that time since you had attained puberty. A pawpaw tree will not support your weight. Besides pawpaw trees grow straight without branching which will not provide places for you to hold.

It seems you don't really know what a pawpaw looks like. Here is a pawpaw tree

haslaw:


This story is fake. Is it even possible for someone of your size to climb pawpaw tree? Pawpaw trees are very figile and don't even have branches for you to hold on to

forget I short gal friend Climb a pawpaw tree .I was surprised..no branches o, she used her two legs to to hold nd u started going up..she climb anything,I don't climb sha,I do the pickiing..cashaw,mango i really enjoyed my 100l days now all of them are married

I had a neighbor living in the next house who locks her kids indoors whenever she's going out.(she doesn't use padlock tho)
I've always felt it's unfair so I came up with a plan to unlock the door without giving myself away cause I know she'd be pissed at me if she knew I let out her kids(they'd definitely spill the bean)
I used a rope...(I've really forgotten how I got it to work but I eventually opened the door from afar)



The joy and satisfaction it gave me(when they came out and start asking each other how the door got unlocked) turned to fear and anxiety when they start ruining things in the name of playing

I went to visit a friend asap

BKsoul:
wetin you want do the man

..... Him Neva returnm my wife since na

bluefilm:
I never had a childhood.

Just like Adam, I became an adult at birth.

Elaborate please.

haslaw:



You would be about 15 years old at that time since you had attained puberty. A pawpaw tree will not support your weight. Besides pawpaw trees grow straight without branching which will not provide places for you to hold.

It seems you don't really know what a pawpaw looks like. Here is a pawpaw tree

bro, what you don't know, you don't judge.. According to your knowledge, all pawpaw trees are tall forgetting we have stunted pawpaw trees too or those close to walls, in between mango trees and cashew trees..
I don't want to say you are ignorant cos I too didn't explain in details cos I don't wanna type too long stories..
Below are samples of how some pawpaw trees grow

So mine was when I was in primary 5. I had this my friend who sits with me in class. So one day he played a prank on me. The prank was when we all got up to greet our teacher who just entered the class, he placed his biro with the tip facing up beneath me. Omo na so I sit-down on the top biro o. The pain was something else And he was laughing. Well, every normal kid will go and report the teacher but I wasn't a normal pupil. I love payback. So I didn't report him. I kept him quite and waited till he totally forgot about what he did. Alas, at the last subject for the day, him too stood up to greet the teacher(that was agric teacher) and forgot himself and I also placed my own biro underneath him. When he sat on it, I looked him in eyes and was like "yeah bruh, that's how it feels". He started crying and reported me to the teacher. They beat that day enn and me I'm this type that doesn't like saying my own part of the story. Since I've done what's on my mind I'm okay. By this time my dad was already getting tired of beating me.so He left me that day..

haslaw:



You would be about 15 years old at that time since you had attained puberty. A pawpaw tree will not support your weight. Besides pawpaw trees grow straight without branching which will not provide places for you to hold.

It seems you don't really know what a pawpaw looks like. Here is a pawpaw tree

You people like arguing out of ignorance and still tag the person a liar.... Go to the village and see 10year old children climbing paw paw tree, even oha tree sef...

realestate99:
After school every day, we used to play football making my uniform dirty, my father usually ask if I usually roll in the mud during school hours but I usually lied that it was due to the rigorous work on the school farm.

Then a day came, the okada man my dad assigned to be transporting me failed to come but he has contacted my dad earlier in the day that he would not be available. My dad came to the school but most students were already out but he spotted a group of students playing ball near the school field.

I was enjoying the match when the ball went outside for a throw in, I was about picking the ball when I saw a figure that looked like my father, I just stopped suddenly, I couldn't move a nerve, the boys were shouting Wale !!! go and pick the ball,time is going. I did not even acknowledge their protests, I finally wake up from my slumber, my father was looking at me like an hyena ready to pounce on a rabbit.

I was looking for my school bag for almost a minute, little did I know that my bag was used as a marker for goal post, I carried the bag and the boys were shouting, wale!!! where are you going? we do not have another bag for making post!!! I did not even utter a word, later they saw me and my father moving towards the gate, I could hear their voices from the background saying, Wale don die today!!! so na him father dey look us all this while.

This is the funniest.. Lol

haslaw:


This story is fake. Is it even possible for someone of your size to climb pawpaw tree? Pawpaw trees are very figile and don't even have branches for you to hold on to

Exact thing happened to my cousin, but in the village.

Same pawpaw tree and devil bean.

jurjes:
I cut my face with a razor blade cos I loved how cute the tribal marks on the face of my neighbor kafayah made her look

Damn. Not knowing that the owners don’t even like it.

Oh

Juliusmomoh:
Just as the subject above

What is the funniest thing you ever did when you still a child?

Mine is very funny

When men was still a child living with my parent, my mom woke me up one day for morning devotion. I hurried to the bathroom to pee. Guess what. I start sleeping while peeing i slept of the bathroom floor.

Share yours and let's laugh ...

I came back from school and after eating I was in a hurry to go and play, my mum bought new pants and I wanted to wear it that day so I went into the room and put on my trouser as I was about moving out I remember I didn't put the pants on, I removed the trouser and I forgot why I took it off so I put it back, on putting it back I remembered that I was supposed to wear my pant but I was too lazy to remove the trouser again because it was too tight so I just wore the pants on the trouser and went playing, everyone that saw me that day laughed like there's no tomorrow but I no send oh.......... I can't forget this day at all

Goodluckall:
E chok

3..
I be class perfect for primary 4.. I be dey like one girl but she leave me follow the nigga wey get new school uniform..lol
One fateful day our class teacher say make I write names of noise makers..I dey always target the babe ...babe no gree make noise.. noise makers go crack Joke everybody go laugh..bebe no go laugh.. thunder come fire her she leave her sit go the boy sit ...na so I turn flash write her name put x3 ..
Teach even shoke because the babe no dey talk for class..lol :

Dkm

VoltageDivida:
I did nothing as a child. Even now as an adult I am doing nothing

You're already dividing voltage. That's some work

Sunisonflex39:
Almost give person pikin bele as per mama and Papa play.. Omo are age 11 I cum inside my landlord daughter piking as per mama and Papa play..

How she no carry belle still dey suprise me

11 yrs?
Bro na piss u piss inside

kingsolomonjnr01:

11 yrs?
Bro na piss u piss inside

Well, what do I know then?

Me and my goons will go to uncompleted buildings and be stoning lizards,only to operate them and see how its intestine looks like

aww it was me peeing on our tenants head from upstairs..as in I laughed doing it but I was beaten for it sha

Crossroad1:
Alot of stupid things
I remember when I saw ripe pawpaws and decided to climb the tree cos I dey feel oversabi... And man don dey get small biabia for gbola then.
Na so I use head carry devil beans, the thing come still scatter for my body.. Na from untop tree I start to pull clothes..
Compound full of female tenants..
Pull everything and was rolling on the ground..
After that ordeal, I couldn't come out for almost a week and if am to come out, I avoid all females or make I bone dem

Funniest I swear �

I went out with my mom and my sisters to visit a friend of my mom, my mom told us if they offer us anything that we should not eat or drink. We all agreed though I was angry inside of me because I nor dey use food play. Immediately we reach the house, the woman served us food and my sisters and mom all rejected it, then the woman faced me and ask will you eat? then after looking at my mom and sisters I told the woman, " I for eat oh, but my mom said when we reach here we should not eat if you give us food" chai my mom had to lie that it wasn't her house she was talking abt, Omo na so I eat the food belle full, when we reach house my mom gave me the terrible beating of my life. If I go person house now, I dey hardly eat. Though my super mom is late���

Growing up as a child I did a lot of things that when I remember now I will just be laughing out loud. I was so stubborn to the extent three parts of my body was stitched on different occasions due to war start, otori, ski-ski-ski lolo etc. But d only thing that gaves my parents joy amidst my stubbornness was that I was very brilliant I never fall below fourth position in class always from first to fourth and if I didn't take first na cry all through that day. Well thanks to my mom a government teacher who make sure no matter my stubbornness she always cage me at home everyday for some hours to read and do my assignment which became part of me. But this my funny experience I will always remember; one day I returned from school and I was playing around by myself in d compound so I saw a nicked switch the wire was nicked so I decide to touch the nicked wire men the thing shocked me beyond imagination and I fell on the ground crying didn't know what just happened to me because I haven't experience such before.

After crying with no one around, I said to myself I won't be d only one to experience this so I got up cleaned myself up and went outside the compound to meet my play mate. I called one of my street friend and told him I want to show him something. This guy is so short that they have to change his name from David to small David, so small David followed me and I took him to where d switch was in my compound and I told him to touch the switch that his body will totori him (make him laugh) so he tried touching it but his hand couldn't reach the switch due to his height so I decided to carry him to touch it with my bare foot (chai children) so I carried him and he touched the nicked wire 'my Father my maker' the shock I received this time around was times ten of the first one, na so me and this guy fall for ground start to cry loud like say tomorrow nor dey. People came this time around due to the loudness of the shout and they asked what happened and small David explain everything that happened while still crying. Everybody just started laughing that one come even increase the cry. After that incident the switch was fixed, but I never near that place again. Anytime I remember that incident na only laugh I dey laugh. My childhood was real fun.

bigcee:
I was bragging about dealing with a class mate(girl). After school hours I went straight to her and immediately we started fighting. Omo ehn, this girl lifted me up and gave me a wicked smackdown. My elder brother's friend had to separate us before the girl kee me . I was in Jss1 then. I became a tool of mockery throughout that week

Moye04:

Baba you get am. My own na 12pm till late in the night. I chop better cane and punishment becos of PS ehn.
My papa beat me ehn! My mama own na for midnight.

my own na Sega cos am

1.early 90s we killed rats in our house both young and old roasted them and ate.
2. We ground broken plate into powder, added sugar and started licking it until we were caught and beaten