hahn:


I swear saving for long term is just ridiculous.

OP, instead of building a house you can buy acres of land and plant crops instead. Foodstuffs are rising and now is the ideal time to go into agriculture. Your land will appreciate in value and you'll earn extra income selling your crops during harvest.

About marriage just leave it for now. Not all women are ready to be with you through thick and thin.

Don't let your mother lead to making a bad choice

Strong word here. Really sad that not all women are ready for a hard time.

ebuk4real:


Love the last sentence. I am 35yrs & the pressure to marry is here but earnings 40k. I am telling myself to hold on till 40yrs and doubting if I am not making mistake o

Hold on till 50 o. Marry now and generational poverty things o.

thesmallgod:

This is a wrong advice. You can still marry late and still regret your life.

that not wrong advice, nothing special about the marriage.....mind ur business if u don't have reasonable thing to contribute!

ok

Peace081:
My brother just marry n start a family

which family.... nothing de inside d marriage,na over hyped!

Saving is susceptible to inflation

Forget projects and marriage, enter Yankee first.

Juicy001:


Bros, listen to mumsy..
You might feel you dont need a woman but how about a woman that will support you? Pray, Encourage and also put you in line when ever you're going off course?
Your mum cant do all that na,
Dont just look at it from the negative side but also the positive side, you're just scared of the unknown and its understandable cus we are humans,its in our nature....
Def it's not something to rush into but think about it...
Cuz in my opinion, omoh na to marry continue with your dreams till they become reality, nothing sure pass this one.
Remain blessed

so he should marry because he need a woman that will be praying, supportive with what.....omo nothing special for dis marriage,na nonsense excuse Ena go de bring to support marriage!

Raalsalghul:
I'm trying to fathom why a lot of Nigerians do this most especially religious leaders and family members.

They see a young man earning little change which probably is just enough to take care of himself and voila they start with their "Marriage Chants".

They won't give you job links. suggest business ideas, skills to learn or investment schemes. It's always "when are you getting married"?.

Haba!

Op, if you know what is good for you, your future kids and Nigeria at large, forget that marriage talk for now.

Peradventure, your finances are not enough for an education in Europe, then there must be some local certifications which you can use to increase your employment prospects in that same U.A.E.

Also start at looking at I.T fields you can delve into while working.

I repeat, flush away any thought of marriage from your mind at this moment, you still have age on your side. Don't let anyone hoodwink you with that "only son" talk.

I can't stress the above enough.

watin come bring religious leaders into this conversation

tensazangetsu20:

Hold on till 50 o. Marry now and generational poverty things o.

You get bad mouth.

tensazangetsu20:

Hold on till 50 o. Marry now and generational poverty things o.

Thanks man for the insight. Cheers

abisoye2:
Nairaland has always been a place of resort when it comes to finding lasting solution to one's problem/albatross as this platform is beclouded with cerebral intellectuals.

==> I am a young man of 27 years old from an average background. I'm currently outside the country earning little above #200k doing blue colar job in one of the Emirates of UAE. I have NCE certificate in one of the Colleges of Education in Nigeria of which I intended to further into Degree(BSc) in Nigeria before travel opportunity showcased which I obliged.
However, I wish to migrate to one the European countries preferably through study route(as one of the easy way to migrate) so as to acquire my Degree(Bsc, because I have great passion for education) and to improve my life(you understand) before considering anything else.

I have been saving larger portion of my salaries to around #2.7m which is not enough for my plan but i'm still managing my work and still saving to actualize my plan with the help of God.

Sorry I forgot to tell you intellectuals that I'm the only Son among 6 children and I'm sinlge. Now, my mother back home is trying to tell me to start a building project on our vacant land and indirectly proposing 'getting married' to me as the larger part of her prayers when discussing on phone is how God should give me a good woman, the loving woman...(you know African Mothers').
It's good to note that my elder sisters have birthed children so Mum is already a "Grandma". I tried to explain to her politely that my plan is not to marry now or spending my little money on building a house only to halfway and continue struggling and saving from scratch rather to develop myself first and then money will come with it and I can now consider marriage afterwards.

I Also think about business but I think it's risky. Also, marrying and leaving my wife back home doesn't sit well with me and bringing her here making family wouldn't be easy as maintaining family is expensive here and there is no child benefit/support compared to the west. Perhaps taking care of my widow mother and taking care of wife/family and sometimes relatives wahala from my paltry salary is striking fear into my bone marrow.

So, getting married now/starting a building project would take away my money and might shatter my plans.

Great Nairalanders, please I am confused, advise me, come to my rescue!

Admin, please help my life by pushing this for me. E dakun!

Alabi to the rescue


Use the 2.7m

Carry
Man u to hammer Villarreal
Dortmund to beat Besiktas
Chelsea to score against Juve

We talking 3 odds here

2.7 m x 3
Will bounce back as around 7m or more


Reharshe it on Saturday strictly 3 odds

7mx 3
You getting 21m




Remember, Alabi jazz too strong

Raalsalghul:



You get bad mouth.

The kind of suffering I am seeing as a result of early marriage eh. Omho its a huge trap. A highway to severe poverty.

stinflame:
All what your mum suggested are good and healthy suggestion.
In life they are somethings which are bent on a natural factors and one of them is marriages. Early marriage i tell you is a blessing, why because you get to train your kids in the like and manner you want. And in a twinkle of an eye junior is graduating. Not easy as summarised but funny enough it is a must do provided you aren't taking the priestly root. Why then wait until your bones are failing before undergoing such important assignment.
As said earlier it is all bent on a natural factor called LOVE. can you get a woman who can do bore you a child and still stay stead fast.
Marriage is a must, do it if you can..

na rubbish you de talk....how marriage is a blessing,95% of does that get married are dying in poverty!

Before you people will start with your "Go and learn IT" story, what if the guy doesn't like anything called IT.

He might just be like me that gets bored just by hearing IT. Don't even start me with all your programming or html stuffs.

Not everybody is passionate or have the interest for IT.

Or am I normal like this

To further drive the marriage issue home, know this:

She
Also
Have
A family,



Boom


Now you have three families to cater for,

Your immediate family,
Your family
And her family.

Fear marriage brother, now is nt the time

Mbee247:
I hate saving..


That's one of the fastest way to even lose money cause inflation ain't joking at all..

I would strongly advise you learn how you can invest your money and give you ROI as time goes instead of saving and saving..

Same way with me... I hate saving

abisoye2:
I know d value of naira has really plummeted but I don't trust all this Pontzi schemes. And investing in 9ja where I am not residing is another wahala as things tough now. Any recommendations from you will be appreciated pls...

If only u can believe and invest 1mill.. thru me.. I no mean crpto or forex oo.. I will pay u 400k after 12 months..

I will pay u 116,260 naira monthly till 12 months.. that way , ur working, ur money is working...

Email. Me if u want to know more..

One thing I have learnt the hard way in this life is, when it comes to choosing what I want for myself and what my parents want for me, that's exactly when I will show them who is in control of my life. That's me.

Bro, go for the self improvement. Save up and further your education. You're 27, to me, a man should not feel any stupid pressure to marry until he is 35. Trust me, when you marry that amount will become nothing.

Also, forget about the building for now.

Marriage and the building are nothing but distractions right now, focus on self improvement.

Tell your mother to stop telling you about them, if she's not listening, yell at her. If you can listen to her, she should be able to listen to you too.

You have a perfect plan for your life, don't let another person, your mother in this case ruin it because at the end of the day, it's your life.


You are the captain of your ship, take charge.

My dear, visit home and marry a good industrious woman, still travel to continue your hustle, try marry someone that has finish school here and set her up , both of you will join hands and make your dreams come through , I was in the same shoe with you three yrs ago , now m 30yrs and I regret it with passion. Money is not everything , what about your life as an only son , please marry and you and your wife will join hands and make it happen , "He who finds a wife, finds a good thing, AND OBTAINATE FAVOUR FROM GOD".

abisoye2:
Nairaland has always been a place of resort when it comes to finding lasting solution to one's problem/albatross as this platform is beclouded with cerebral intellectuals.

==> I am a young man of 27 years old from an average background. I'm currently outside the country earning little above #200k doing blue colar job in one of the Emirates of UAE. I have NCE certificate in one of the Colleges of Education in Nigeria of which I intended to further into Degree(BSc) in Nigeria before travel opportunity showcased which I obliged.
However, I wish to migrate to one the European countries preferably through study route(as one of the easy way to migrate) so as to acquire my Degree(Bsc, because I have great passion for education) and to improve my life(you understand) before considering anything else.

I have been saving larger portion of my salaries to around #2.7m which is not enough for my plan but i'm still managing my work and still saving to actualize my plan with the help of God.

Sorry I forgot to tell you intellectuals that I'm the only Son among 6 children and I'm sinlge. Now, my mother back home is trying to tell me to start a building project on our vacant land and indirectly proposing 'getting married' to me as the larger part of her prayers when discussing on phone is how God should give me a good woman, the loving woman...(you know African Mothers').
It's good to note that my elder sisters have birthed children so Mum is already a "Grandma". I tried to explain to her politely that my plan is not to marry now or spending my little money on building a house only to halfway and continue struggling and saving from scratch rather to develop myself first and then money will come with it and I can now consider marriage afterwards.

I Also think about business but I think it's risky. Also, marrying and leaving my wife back home doesn't sit well with me and bringing her here making family wouldn't be easy as maintaining family is expensive here and there is no child benefit/support compared to the west. Perhaps taking care of my widow mother and taking care of wife/family and sometimes relatives wahala from my paltry salary is striking fear into my bone marrow.

So, getting married now/starting a building project would take away my money and might shatter my plans.

Great Nairalanders, please I am confused, advise me, come to my rescue!

Admin, please help my life by pushing this for me. E dakun!

I would advise try to further your education in one of the Western countries. Building a house is expensive and for marriage, God time is the best

Please invest that your money in a landed property by buying some plots of land where it is cheap for now and continue your work when you are ready to flee to Europe you can sell it and add it up with the once you have saved too.
Finally, you can marry when you get to Europe and become a citizen of that country than marrying some liability in NIGERIA ( although some are good, hard working and supportive but are hard to find them here in NIGERIA ).

tensazangetsu20:

Hold on till 50 o. Marry now and generational poverty things o.

Wahala be like bicycle, so at what age should he get married then?

One thing to note is that women find it easier to accept younger poor men than older poor men, because they expect you should have money by 40+. There is no benefit for them dating a poor older man.

Klass99:


Why on earth would you suggest that, in his current state?

Is there something you know, that we don't know?

Don't mind him, he's lost in the Matrix (a non-existing world)

truthsayer009:


Wahala be like bicycle, so at what age should he get married then?

Sadly I think some people are just meant to be poor

Omho its not a must to marry o except you want to breed future boko haram, oloshos, and herdsmen. . In Nigeria, the government is working extremely hard to make everyone poor.

tensazangetsu20:

Omho its not a must to marry o except you want to breed future boko haram, oloshos, and herdsmen. . In Nigeria, the government is working extremely hard to make everyone poor.

This is hard to swallow but marriage is an option.

tensazangetsu20:

Omho its not a must to marry o except you want to breed future boko haram, oloshos, and herdsmen. . In Nigeria, the government is working extremely hard to make everyone poor.

Lmaoooooo!

Klass99:


Why on earth would you suggest that, in his current state?

Is there something you know, that we don't know?

Some people love and encourage poverty and mediocrity.

uthlaw:
na rubbish you de talk....how marriage is a blessing,95% of does that get married are dying in poverty!

Then Sir, that person is destined to be poor and been unmarried won't change his or her situation. Been married was even what Is keeping a good percentage of them alive. Marriage like I said no dey stop one's blessings...

Usually people give advice base on their own worldview, which is largely shaped by their generational period and gender. Because she is your mother doesn't mean she knows the best for you. Yes, she wants the best for you, but she does not know the best for you. Let that sink in.

Also, you should listen to advice from people who you admire their lifestyle. Not trying to be insulting, but if your mum that have spent at least 20 years on earth before birthing you could not figure it out financially and depends on you who was here when she was an adult, then listen to her, nod your head like a lizard, but do what's best for you.

Thirdly, telling you to get married is not a bad advice, but you don't have to listen to it. Marriage by nature, marriage is an institution that improves your current situation, not to make it worse. Unless the girl you'll marry will somehow make your life better, e.g, is equally educated, financially stable, or God help you, have a foreign passport and loves you, then by all means, get married to her.

But if you'll marry now a lady that doesn't equally compliments you financially, and you start doing the financial lifting of her and God forbid, her family, and after performing all the expensive marriage rites, you'll either bring her to UAE, or be sending cash while she stays in Nigeria (and God help you if she is not loyal), then don't get married. I'm not against lifting people, but have strong leg first, not when you're trying to survive.

I'm not saying you shouldn't marry a woman who you'll lift financially, but at your situation, it's suicidal. It's like giving someone the only seed you have, instead of planting it first, let it germinate, and you can give as much fruit as you want. Only get marry if you are strong, that your wife's money won't bother you. Not now. Please.

About land. I can't help but say, are you mad? Don't try that nonsense. After buying, then you'll begin constructing, and may God help you if your family are not trustworthy. But even if they are, how does it improves your situation? Why not work on being strong? That should be your only priority. Be strong financially first. And when you're wealthy enough, you'll even buy a house in London, no problem. And if you have actually traveled around, buying a land and building a house in Nigeria will turn you off.

If I were you, I'll just get an admission and move to Europe. There are lots of schools in places like Poland where the tuition fee is less than one million naira. Move to Europe, and money won't be a problem. Even if you have only primary school cert, if you're not lazy, you'll make so much money in Europe. Some of the dumbest douchbag that I know makes at least 1500 euros doing menial jobs in places like Germany or Netherlands, and Poland is just an hour drive from Berlin.

Forgive your mum, for she doesn't know what she is doing. This historical quote that Jesus said on the cross of calvary is how you should approach your mum. She doesn't know better. And if you make the mistake and refuse to develop your finances and make other people happy instead, you'll regret it. Not a threat, but a fact. And it's more painful because you're the cause of your own agony. You wont have the luxury to blame anyone. And they would see you as stupid, and what you will hear is, "you've been abroad since, what did you achieve"? Doesn't matter if you suspend your goal to help them. That's hell. You've been advised.

Gerrard59, Tensazangetsu20, Raalsalghul. Thanks very much. Your advice make sense. I hope the op listen to it.

stinflame:


Then Sir, that person is destined to be poor and been unmarried won't change his or her situation. Been married was even what Is keeping a good percentage of them alive. Marriage like I said no dey stop one's blessings...