Interview Questions: Dumb Replies Only - Jobs/Vacancies (3)

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Interview Questions: Dumb Replies Only - Jobs/Vacancies (3) - Nairaland

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Re: Interview Questions: Dumb Replies Only by legendburna: 1:45pm On Oct 04, 2021

Broda shagi's response:

Preciousgirl:
You are at an interview and the Panel ask you:

1. Why Are You Here?
Ah ahn, Mr interviewer, i am here to repair an helicopter
No be you they fine person wey go work?

2. Why Should we Hire You?
Emmm, because i no go fall your hand, in fact ehn when them fire you so i go take over your position.. I will not gree

3. Tell us about yourself?
I like woman i dey straight forward

4. What is your expected salary?
Oga just pay me money...which one be salary again. Them tell you say i be Muslim. I no dey do salah

5. How soon will u start work?
Any time Sir
Infact i can start work yesterday

DUMB and FUNNY REPLIES ONLY

Re: Interview Questions: Dumb Replies Only by CJ310(m): 1:59pm On Oct 04, 2021

Preciousgirl:
You are at an interview and the Panel ask you:

1. Why Are You Here? I am here because I Dinor make 2:1 in uni

2. Why Should we Hire You? Because the position is actually vacant na

3. Tell us about yourself? I plan to relocate to Canada soon

4. What is your expected salary? I can manage 2m per month but it must come with car and driver o

5. How soon will u start work? My Nysc ends this week, we fit run am next week.

DUMB and FUNNY REPLIES ONLY

1 Like

Re: Interview Questions: Dumb Replies Only by BlueBallz: 1:59pm On Oct 04, 2021

Re: Interview Questions: Dumb Replies Only by BlueBallz: 2:00pm On Oct 04, 2021

Re: Interview Questions: Dumb Replies Only by CJ310(m): 2:00pm On Oct 04, 2021

Re: Interview Questions: Dumb Replies Only by BlueBallz: 2:00pm On Oct 04, 2021

You are at an interview and the Panel ask you:

1. Why Are You Here?

You tell me? The same reason you were here, once upon a time

2. Why Should we Hire You?

That's up to you, to tell me?

3. Tell us about yourself?

Why don't we start with you?

4. What is your expected salary?

Go around and ask, I have no expectations

5. How soon will u start work?

I started the moment I knew how to walk

Re: Interview Questions: Dumb Replies Only by Igbankpa(m): 2:28pm On Oct 04, 2021

Odetokun3:
1. I am here because you told me to come.

2. Because you advertise for vacancy position(s)

3. This is me in front of you. Ask me whatever you care to know about me plus you have my Resume before now sir.

4. Boss, how much you dey collect per month? Comot 2k there. , offer me something around that region. You first me reach here.

5. Where the work make we start abeg. No time

werey

1 Like

Re: Interview Questions: Dumb Replies Only by BrainSanitizer: 2:42pm On Oct 04, 2021

Preciousgirl:
You are at an interview and the Panel ask you:

1. Why Are You Here?

2. Why Should we Hire You?

3. Tell us about yourself?

4. What is your expected salary?

5. How soon will u start work?

DUMB and FUNNY REPLIES ONLY

1. I am here because your office is nicely painted.

2. If you don't, I'll relocate to your house.

3. I am a man with big balls! Isn't that obvious?

4. Tell me what you can afford. Even if I told you what I'm worth, you still bargain anyway.

5. Don't tell me you are planning not to pay me for today?

Re: Interview Questions: Dumb Replies Only by brownemmanuel43(m): 2:56pm On Oct 04, 2021

ThierryJay:
Lemme try Zlatan's response

1. Why Are You Here? - I wanted to give the Company an automatic facelift, so I came here.

2. Why Should we Hire You? - Because, without me this Company is fired

3. Tell us about yourself? - I am Zlatan, things don't happen to me, I make things happen.

4. What is your expected salary? - Zlatan doesn't do salary, Zlatan earns revenues.

5. How soon will u start work? - I know Work is eager to have me around, but I can wait.

Shey I try small?

U are the man of this thread, I duff my coconut for u

Re: Interview Questions: Dumb Replies Only by sonsomegrigbo: 3:07pm On Oct 04, 2021

Odetokun3:
1. I am here because you told me to come.

2. Because you advertise for vacancy position(s)

3. This is me in front of you. Ask me whatever you care to know about me plus you have my Resume before now sir.

4. Boss, how much you dey collect per month? Comot 2k there. , offer me something around that region. You first me reach here.

5. Where the work make we start abeg. No time

Re: Interview Questions: Dumb Replies Only by Kokaine(m): 4:13pm On Oct 04, 2021

Preciousgirl:
You are at an interview and the Panel ask you:

1. Why Are You Here?

2. Why Should we Hire You?

3. Tell us about yourself?

4. What is your expected salary?

5. How soon will u start work?

DUMB and FUNNY REPLIES ONLY

1. Where should I be?
2. To pay me salaries
3. I thought I already sent my CV?
4. A million.
5. I have started already

Re: Interview Questions: Dumb Replies Only by Gfskw: 4:19pm On Oct 04, 2021

Re: Interview Questions: Dumb Replies Only by TeeGentle(m): 4:22pm On Oct 04, 2021

Am here to laugh

Re: Interview Questions: Dumb Replies Only by blaise26abj(m): 4:44pm On Oct 04, 2021

1. Why Are You Here?
Because you emailed me and asked me to come here. Duh . abi is there another place you want me to be ?

2. Why Should we Hire You?
Because if you don’t , your company’s blood gonna dryyyyyyy!

3. Tell us about yourself?
Bla bla bla …I just completed my Service year with unknown gunmen . By the way I saw the flag outside . angry

4. What is your expected salary?
Since Na “expected” ,I expect to be paid 1 billion naira monthly but e no mean say you fit pay am.

5. How soon will u start work?
Immediately you shut up and type my employment letter

DUMB and FUNNY REPLIES ONLY grin

[/quote]

Re: Interview Questions: Dumb Replies Only by BluntCrazeMan: 5:10pm On Oct 04, 2021

Preciousgirl:
You are at an interview and the Panel ask you:

1. Why Are You Here?

2. Why Should we Hire You?

3. Tell us about yourself?

4. What is your expected salary?

5. How soon will u start work?

DUMB and FUNNY REPLIES ONLY

1. To work in your company.

2. Because You Need Someone, And I am here Now.

3. All you need to know about me is already in the CV.

4. ₦500k for a start. We can bargain small if you feel like.

5. Now Now Now

Re: Interview Questions: Dumb Replies Only by OMOJOHN001: 5:19pm On Oct 04, 2021

Preciousgirl:
You are at an interview and the Panel ask you:

1. Why Are You Here?
The same reason you are here.

2. Why Should we Hire You?
You know the reason yourself, stop asking me such QST.

3. Tell us about yourself?
Read my CV or forget about it, No time.

4. What is your expected salary?
The exact amount the GM or MD receive every month

5. How soon will u start work?
As soon as the General manger resume work.

DUMB and FUNNY REPLIES ONLY

Re: Interview Questions: Dumb Replies Only by Nicoddemus(m): 2:26am On Oct 05, 2021

Preciousgirl:

You will hear from us, next

Re: Interview Questions: Dumb Replies Only by ComputerOperato: 9:20pm On Oct 05, 2021

Odetokun3:
1. I am here because you told me to come.

2. Because you advertise for vacancy position(s)

3. This is me in front of you. Ask me whatever you care to know about me plus you have my Resume before now sir.

4. Boss, how much you dey collect per month? Comot 2k there. , offer me something around that region. You first me reach here.

5. Where the work make we start abeg. No time

You are too much! I laughed so hard I was shedding tears.
You just made my day especially with that your number 4

1 Like

Re: Interview Questions: Dumb Replies Only by ComputerOperato: 9:23pm On Oct 05, 2021

lilvicky68:
1) Do you think if I have something doing I will be here?? Mtchewww..

2)It's like you don't know that I've worked as a mad man before.. don't hire me first and see..

3)I can be unpredictable..

4)how much is your company worth?? Give me 5% of it..

5)I've already started like this...

This your number 2 na wa! You go fear fear na!
Security!!!!!
grin

2 Likes

Re: Interview Questions: Dumb Replies Only by BloomsJob: 9:18am On Nov 14, 2021

Urgent vacancies
Area and branch Manager
Location: Aba & Umuahia
NOTE: You must have experience in micro finance Bank and only those residing in Aba or Umuahia should apply.

Experience and qualified candidates should Send Cv to : jobs@bloomsfordassociates.com
Using the position as the subject of your email

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