Hello everyone, I have someone in a dilemma and needs advice on the next course of action. She needs advice on which man to be with between two men she loves.

Please advice her and not abuse her as I'll show her the comments here. I have this young lady in her early twenties who is in love with two guys. I'll refer to them as Guy A and Guy B.

Both have their baggages which has left her confused hence, her request for advice which I had to bring here. I'll keep my opinion to myself though, I already told her my thoughts.

Now, to their baggages.

GUY A:
- Has dated her for three (3) years now and deflowered her.
- Is always away for months for work (according to him).
- She recently found out he has been chasing everything in skirt over the years and hasn't stopped and is highly promiscuous from his facebook messages and voice recordings she had to forward to herself of him telling other girls about marrying them and about their times spent together in hotels.
- Prone to violence.
- Engaged her early this year but, she wasn't sure though accepted due to compromise and she hasn't seen him in seven (7) months now though he calls often and says he's at work. She doesn't pay him unscheduled visits to confirm since he's not around according to him.

GUY B:
- Met her last year and has been dating her for close to a year.
- Was married for six (6) years but, separated and headed for divorce before she met him.
- Has a two (2) year old son from the previous marriage.
- Calm and very understanding (she wishes she met him earlier).
- She's had no problems with him and he's always been there for her.

Her problems?
1. She is in love with both men.
2. Both men want to marry her.
3. Both families (of the men) already know her and love her.
4. The major problem for her with Guy A is that he is never around and is always on one trip or another.
5. The major problem for her with Guy B is that he has a son (he told her from the onset before she agreed to date him and never hid his status from her).

Ladies and gentlemen, what will you advice and who would you suggest she stays with as both men want to marry her?

Thank you.

I posted this in the wrong section (Romance) earlier and just realized this should be the correct section. Mod's please delete the one posted in the Romance section.

She should marry me instead.

I'm very fresh and new. No baggage at all.

I think she shouldn't marry any of them,let her look for another man with less baggages.Complicated. That divorcee is just deceiving her else why will he be divorced and not try to work his marriage out with his wife.Again let her find out from the guy B's ex wife the reason they divorced because guy B will not give her the exact stories. Guy A is a big no no while guy B seems deceitful and also remember guy B's wife and kids will always be in his life,hope she can cope,ask Annie Macaulay Idibia(2face's wife) about that. I'll rather marry a widower than a divorcee if I'm left only no options.

Guy B is perfect... If she is still in love with Guy A she wouldn't have fall in love with Guy B..

Must it be any of the two? She's young, she should get herself someone else abeg. But if it's a must then she should go for 2. 1 is a total waste of time.

So we are supposed to make a choice for her right

Let her wait till she is 25 or 26...
She shouldn't be in a hurry to marry.
My advice is for her to discard the 2guys and enjoy her life before tieing herself down with marriage.

If she values her health and peace of mind, she better leave guy "A" asap, she should never have taken the relationship that far, after she saw such red flags? She never mentioned what led to guy B divorcing his wife, he is a divorcee with a son , she is still very young, and I am sure she will meet better suitors. I sincerely would not marry any of the men if I am 25yrs, I would only manage either of the two if I were in my late 30s/40s, and couldn't find a better option.

Wait, she has a choice between someone prone to violence who cheats and a good man with a kid and she doesn't know which one is better?

LilMissFavvy:
If she values her health and peace of mind, she better leave guy "A" asap, she should never have taken the relationship that far, after she saw such red flags? She never mentioned what led to guy B divorcing his wife, he is a divorcee with a son , she is still very young, and I am sure she will meet better suitors. I sincerely would not marry any of the men if I am 25yrs, I would only manage either of the two if I were in my late 30s/40s, and couldn't find a better option.

Well, she didn't see or notice the cheating and promiscuity until lately but, the records from her findings and hard evidences available to her date back to all the while they've been dating till now.

From findings, Guy B's now ex-wife left because he had financial issues. She packed out on her own and carried the child along. They had nothing in common before she met Guy B.

Hathor5:
Wait, she has a choice between someone prone to violence who cheats and a good man with a kid and she doesn't know which one is better?

She's afraid the mother of the child might instigate the child against her in the future making life difficult for her in the home.

mexxy1:


She's afraid the mother of the child might instigate the child against her in the future making life difficult for her in the home.

Then tell her to find guy C.

Hathor5:


Then tell her to find guy C.

Thank you.

So you or your friend is sleeping with a married man, no wonder these 2 are the best options you can come up with. You deserve whatever it is you get.
I am sure Guy A has already seen you for the type of person that you are , someone who does not have a conscience and does not mind sleeping with married men and only sleeping with you.
For sleeping with a married man and contributing to the crash of a marriage, I spit on you .

I'll advise she goes for neither of them. Though guy 'B' would have been a better option but for his unresolved marital issues. Not saying it's totally bad but as a Christian, I am only looking at it from a religious perspective where you can't marry a divorcee until the partner is no more. So option "B" is a no no.
Guy "A", is totally out of the question.

Finally, let her wait. Her rightful man will locate her.

You have your problems too.

How can u fall in love with guy b when u were still dating guy a.

Is she ready to be lonely in marriage?
She shouldn’t not have given her virginity to to the person she was not sure will be her husband. She should just allow the first man to go and for the second man, biblically is not good, but if at all she wants to have anything with him, that should be after he has perfected the divorce else it is dangerous. It is never too late to see the right guy, she can wait a bit. Marriage is a life time affair and marrying wrongly is a life time imprisonment.
She can get 5 things that will help her in her choice here.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c2_baCZsSFw.

oldienavie:
So you or your friend is sleeping with a married man, no wonder these 2 are the best options you can come up with. You deserve whatever it is you get.
I am sure Guy A has already seen you for the type of person that you are , someone who does not have a conscience and does not mind sleeping with married men and only sleeping with you.
For sleeping with a married man and contributing to the crash of a marriage, I spit on you .

Please read my post again. This time slowly, to understand and not to reply, before you start spitting carelessly.

And, I already asked that she shouldn't be abused. Someone is undecided here. Just give your opinion and NOT judgement.

OlapejuB:
Is she ready to be lonely in marriage?
She shouldn’t not have given her virginity to to the person she was not sure will be her husband. She should just allow the first man to go and for the second man, biblically is not good, but if at all she wants to have anything with him, that should be after he has perfected the divorce else it is dangerous. It is never too late to see the right guy, she can wait a bit. Marriage is a life time affair and marrying wrongly is a life time imprisonment.
She can get 5 things that will help her in her choice here.

Thank you.

Neither

Mercychen:
I'll advise she goes for neither of them. Though guy 'B' would have been a better option but for his unresolved marital issues. Not saying it's totally bad but as a Christian, I am only looking at it from a religious perspective where you can't marry a divorcee until the partner is no more. So option "B" is a no no.
Guy "A", is totally out of the question.

Finally, let her wait. Her rightful man will locate her.

Thank you.

mexxy1:


Thank you.

You're welcome, dear.

Why do people date whom they feel they may not marry? She knew he was a divorcee early enough. Let her be wise in future relationships.

mexxy1:


Well, she didn't see or notice the cheating and promiscuity until lately but, the records from her findings and hard evidences available to her date back to all the while they've been dating till now.

From findings, Guy B's now ex-wife left because he had financial issues. She packed out on her own and carried the child along. They had nothing in common before she met Guy B.

I have my issues with the moral standard of this lady.

Regarding her choice....guy A and B scored F.

Let her start afresh but must be more circumspect.

Iyaebe:
I think she shouldn't marry any of them,let her look for another man with less baggages.Complicated. That divorcee is just deceiving her else why will he be divorced and not try to work his marriage out with his wife.Again let her find out from the guy B's ex wife the reason they divorced because guy B will not give her the exact stories. Guy A is a big no no while guy B seems deceitful and also remember guy B's wife and kids will always be in his life,hope she can cope,ask Annie Macaulay Idibia(2face's wife) about that. I'll rather marry a widower than a divorcee if I'm left only no options.

From information available which she confirmed herself before accepting him, Guy B's wife left on her own with the child because he had financial issues.

Guy B and his ex-wife had nothing in common before she met him and he was already living alone before she accepted to date him. She confirmed these herself.

mexxy1:


From information available which she confirmed herself before accepting him, Guy B's wife left on her own with the child because he had financial issues.

Guy B and his ex-wife had nothing in common before she met him and he was already living alone before she accepted to date him. She confirmed these herself.

It may look good to her now but it won't always be so.Well,she knows what's best for her

Iyaebe:
It may look good to her now but it won't always be so.Well,she knows what's best for her

Thank you.

Iyaebe:
I think she shouldn't marry any of them,let her look for another man with less baggages.Complicated. That divorcee is just deceiving her else why will he be divorced and not try to work his marriage out with his wife.Again let her find out from the guy B's ex wife the reason they divorced because guy B will not give her the exact stories. Guy A is a big no no while guy B seems deceitful and also remember guy B's wife and kids will always be in his life,hope she can cope,ask Annie Macaulay Idibia(2face's wife) about that. I'll rather marry a widower than a divorcee if I'm left only no options.

You took everything right out of my mind!

As for the bolded, I've made that comment one time before.

Iyaebe:
I think she shouldn't marry any of them,let her look for another man with less baggages.Complicated. That divorcee is just deceiving her else why will he be divorced and not try to work his marriage out with his wife.Again let her find out from the guy B's ex wife the reason they divorced because guy B will not give her the exact stories. Guy A is a big no no while guy B seems deceitful and also remember guy B's wife and kids will always be in his life,hope she can cope,ask Annie Macaulay Idibia(2face's wife) about that. I'll rather marry a widower than a divorcee if I'm left only no options.

You sure do write a lot of crap

Hathor5:
Wait, she has a choice between someone prone to violence who cheats and a good man with a kid and she doesn't know which one is better?

Seems so.