Hi everyone!
So I decided to write my own story base on real life story. I'm a lazy writer but I will try to update regularly.

And don't worry, it is a very short story of my life but there will be a little mix of fiction.



Right from my childhood, I was that person among the crowd who was always invisible to others. Maybe it was because of my looks, I admit that I'm not good looking neither was I smart or special in any way. My family was like that of the loud house and so less attention was given to me.

Growing up, I because very aggressive, loud, lousy and even when others laughed or taunt me, it only made me excited because I was able to get their attention. My crush saw me as a clown, my supposed friends used me when it was convenient for them but all this didn't matter as long as I got their attention.

After I finished highschool, I was alone again, no friends and always locked up in my room. My social media account was boring with no messages coming in. But one day, I decided to take a picture revealing my cleavages and some skin after which I posted it and to my surprise, I got complimented by a lot of people. Messages were coming in and that made me feel special for once. Even though my supposed 'sexy' pictures attracted a lot of friends, I snubbed them while accepting new friends.

But it all came back to backfire as my friends turned against, I was a topic of discussion and it was quite a disgusting one. I realized how foolish I have been because at the end of the day, I didn't have a single close friend. I deleted WhatsApp and took a break.

After a while, I decided to find a hobby and that was when I was introduced to anime. I was comfortable, happy, at peace as nothing else matters. At that time I began reading manga and one day I stumbled upon a yaoi manga (gay comic) which involves BDSM, my curiosity got the best of me as I kept reading and reading, that was the first time in my life I felt Hot and sexually excited.

I was excited because they were gay but because of the bdsm play that took place, the thought of being subjected by someone who would mess me up so much that I'm unable to stand up kept coming to my head. After then, I began every manga that has bdsm genre in it, I cared less about every other thing aside anime and manga. After staying up all night to read, I lay down on my bed naked and closed my eyes.

Whenever I tried touching myself, I felt a heavy sense of disgust and discomfort. The only way I was ever able to arouse myself was watching other people being subjugated to the mercy of someone superior to them in terms of age, social status or strength.

My Crush I

Back then, I had a crush who was my course mate, he was very tall (I felt like a midget around him), greatly admired by most of the girls in our department and also popular among the guys. I admired him because of his eyes and height, I always imagine his expression if I made him upset and what he would do to me? He saw me as one of those girls who were head over heels for him, though that's not far from the truth but I wasn't fazed by his good looks but his sharp little eyes which send an electric excitement through my body whenever he looked at me, his big hands that could probably hold me down, his height.

Sometimes I can't help but daydream about him but I wasn't bold enough to approach him. What would he think when I tell him that I want him to blindfold me, gag my mouth, tie my hands and tease me until I can't take it anymore. We rarely talked plus he is always surrounded by pretty guys and girls, I wouldn't want to embarrass myself by talking to him with them around.

I lived a simple life as a student, looking innocent and naive though I wasn't. After 2nd semester exam, our department planned for a party but due to the school management, the party was hosted outside the school in the students apartment. Even though I planned to stay home that day, I realized that I would probably graduate without having a friend if I keep skipping social events.

The location was sent to the WhatsApp group and I went just with hope of having fun. The building was a hostel for students (male and females), when I got into the house, it was so loud, noisy, and crowded. People were everywhere dancing, chatting, drinking and having fun. While looking for a place to sit, I spotted my crush amongst the crowd, he was shirtless and seem a bit tipsy from his behavior. He seemed more attractive bare chest with sweat dripping down his chest. When he looked up and saw me, he smiled and approach me while the others were hyping him, I wasn't sure what was going on until he spoke up.
*Hey... Uhm... Mind joining us for a game?*
*Huh?* I replied, it didn't seem like I could escape it.

My Crush II

Been a lil busy with coding and reading yaoi manga that this slip my mind. Anyways back to the story.

I found myself in the midst of an excited crowd who made weird requests in the name of playing game. The game was called "spin the bottle" and whoever the bottle points to has to do whatsoever the last person that played requested for.

I was hoping a fun time with my crush but being in the midst of weird perverts is another story, though I have no right to call them weird because I was worse. I watched them play as more and more people joined until the bottle finally pointed at me.

A girl was the last person to played and so she had to dare me, I was nervous about it because I thought boys would ask me to do something perverted while girls would make me do something embarrassing. Either way I couldn't run away from it.

*I dare you to pick a guy and kiss him for 30 seconds*

The rules was that you do the dare or you drink a full glass cup of alcohol, it wasn't just any cup but the type used in local bar to drink beer. The drink was a mixture of different alcohol so I couldn't risk it but knowing that my ugly looks weren't going to favour me in any way, I felt like I was in a tight spot.

Even though some of the guys were from my department, I have never interacted with anyone of them. Tobi, who was my crush was the only one I ever noticed. I took all the strength in me and walked up to Tobi while they cheered me, lowered my head and kiss him.

My lips just laid on his without making any motion with my eyes closed. The crowd began the count down in a loud voice 1...2...3... and on. My waist was starting to hurt because of the weird posture I posed. The thought of leaving a disappointing impression on my first kiss wasn't something I looked forward to. Even though I had no experience, I decided to borrow tactics from the dozens of manga that I have read. I sucked his lower lips, then his upper lips before sucking his tongue. Time went by fast and the count down ended and I went back to my seat.

Even though Tobi didn't make any move while we kissed, I still enjoyed it. After a while, the bottle pointed to me and this time I was dared to seduce any guy I want and make him hard. Before they could begin with the hype, I took a glass filled with alcohol and drank it all without stopping to take a breath. It had a bittersweet taste which felt sour on my tongue.

It wasn't up to ten seconds when my head felt fuzzy, my body so light and my eyes heavy. I left the game and went to the bathroom to wash my face but my legs gave me away as I staggered while going. I almost fell on my way going but luckily, someone caught me on time. Even though I was feeling tipsy, I was still in my right state of mind. While heading out on the course for home, I noticed Tobi sitting by himself, smoking and drinking. An idea came up my head and without thinking of the consequences, I went for it.

The Crush III

I always thought to myself that I would use part of my first salary to buy intimacy gadgets. Must sound crazy right? Well with a face like this that would probably turn someone off and a slender body that looks like I barely get enough food (even though that might not be the case), and also because it is much convenient for me. Now back to the story.


I went to Tobi while acting like I was drunk, he simply greeted me with a smile and went back to smoking. I was determined to get his attention and so, I struck a conversation.

*So what are you doing here all by yourself* I asked.
*I wanna be alone please!*
*I'm sorry for disturbing you, just that... Can I ask you for a favor?* He glanced at me for a second before looking away.
*I'm going to take that as a yes? I don't mind paying for it so please...*
*Okay?*
*Actually I like you. No I really like you and was hoping if we could... Uhm... have sex*
*What!*

He was too surprised to speak as he stared at me. There was a time I would never have thought of ever saying that to a guy but being a Weeb I discovered, it pays to be bold and confess your feelings, maybe the sex part was too forward though.

*What kind of a joke is this? Are you in your right sense of mind?*
*Yes* I answered immediately.
*I refuse!*
*Why?! Is it because of my looks? It's just a one night stand.*
*Can you listen to yourself? How can you approach a guy you barely know for sex? Anyways I will pretend I never heard you, please leave me alone*

Michael Jackson's song *speechless* began singing in my head. I was dumbfounded, the feeling of rejection was too painful. I walked off, staring into space and for the first time in years, I cried myself to sleep. I woke up by 2:00am to watch Death note. While watching, I recalled the previous event and I decided to buy a new note to be used as my death note and my first victim would be Tobi!

Oh right! For those non-weebs, Death note is an anime about a boy who is able to kill anyone irrespective of their identity or location. All he needs is their full name and once he writes it in the book, he can determine how they die. Awesome, ain't it?

After the rejection I got busy with anime and manga as a distraction, sometimes gaming. During the COVID-19 pandemic, my grandma was sick with diabetes and needed urgent treatment. We took her to a private hospital but they recommended that we take her to Luth. When we got there, we met a lot of patients with different illness but the problem was lack of bed space. We were lucky enough to get a bed space in the private ward, after a successful operation, she was transferred to another ward and while taking care of my grandma I met a guy that piqued my interest. He was extremely good looking, it was difficult not to notice him pass by.

Our first encounter talking to each other was in the ward kitchen, I was going to make pap for my grandma, he came in and asked for something and we started talking. After a while Daniel asked me to be his girlfriend, I was so happy to date such a cute guy that I accepted immediately without much thoughts. When we started dating I realized a lot about him, even though he looks good looking and gentle, he is very aggressive when we make out, antisocial and a Hot freak.

The first time we made out was in his car, I usually sleep in the hospital to take care of my grandma but once it is 10:00pm, all relatives have to leave the ward until the next day. Daniel had proposed we sleep in his car that night, naive and clueless as I was, I accepted but I couldn't sleep that night.

When I got into his car, we chatted for a while after which he leaned close and kissed me. He was so aggressive with the kissing while his hands played with my tiddies and then went straight for my skirt, I tried holding his hand back but he was too strong plus he kept distracting me with the kiss, his hand reached down my sauce and he inserted a finger, then two, my body trembled as I pushed him aside.

*What the hell are you trying to do?* I asked while my legs trembled.

My Experience


Even though I secretly wished to have an SM play out of curiosity, there was nothing exciting about the way Daniel touched me.

*You don't wanna do it?* He asked with a straight face. I couldn't answer because I have never been in a relationship so I had no idea if it was appropriate doing it already.

He came closer and kissed me again, pulling me close to him as he squeezed my tiddies while his fingers played with my nipples. It was painful as I tried to push him away but he only cling more, his hand quickly went down into my panties as he fingered him. I made weird noises which I found uncomfortable. This couldn't be called moaning because I believe you moan when pleasured but the sounds I made gave him the wrong idea, (he thought I was enjoying it).

I tried pushing him away but he was too strong as a thought came to my head...
*Am I about to be raped?*
As he kept stroking me with his fingers, I suddenly felt weak, pleasured, as rested my head on his chest. That sensation was a whole new experience for me, it was different from when I read yaoi (gay) manga.

When he saw my reaction, he pulled closer to kiss me but I pushed him away and left the car. After that night, the following day I gave him a couple of rules and we continued our relationship. But then a new patient was admitted to the ward, her relatives all insisted on going into the ward to see her (even though only one relative was allowed inside). This brought about argument between the relatives and the security personnel on duty. While watching the scene before me, I noticed a young guy among them, he had a funny looking attire. He was pretty bold with words and fearless. After few minutes he came to join us (I was sitting with some friends I made in the ward).

One evening I was done feeding my grandma, as I raised my head up when I noticed the guy with the funny attire staring at me. His gaze sent a strange sensation all over my body (I guess I can't help it when goodlooking guys stare at me for too long, I am just that perverted). We started talking and I found out his name was Caleb. Caleb and I became friends and he joined my group of friends.

After becoming friends with Caleb, I found out somethings about him like he is very caring, nice but also perverted. He once came so close to me while we were alone and whispered in my ear...
*You really make me Hot*
*Huh?* I was confused and embarrassed by his boldness.
*How do I explain it? The shape of your body which is usually revealing from your dresses, your lips, just every part of you drives me crazy... I'm really attracted to you so much that I wanna Bleep you*

I burst into laughter out of embarrassment as I couldn't find words to say to him, His facial expression showed he wasn't joking.

*I can show you if you don't believe me*
*Eh? Uhmm... No... You don't need to* I muttered.

My eyes went to his trouser which had a solid, hard shape. He whispered in my ear, *you really make me crazy.*