https://thenationonlineng.net/my-10-month-old-baby-reason-ive-not-committed-suicide-amputee-impregnated-dumped-by-facebook-lover/

My 10-month-old baby reason I’ve not committed suicide – Amputee impregnated, dumped by Facebook lover

•Says mum also kicked her out

By Gbenga Aderanti

On Nov 28, 2021


For Cynthia Amaka Okoro, a 28-year-old graduate of Physics and Electronics, life has not been fair. Amputated as a student and impregnated by an abusive partner, she now lives in utter despondency. Gbenga Aderanti writes.

Her facial appearance portrays her as one of the beautiful models advertising firms would love to introduce to their clients as the face of their beauty products. There is indeed no way anyone without a hint on her life story would imagine the vicissitudes of life she has had to pass through. Cynthia Okpara, a 28-year-old graduate of Physics and Electronics from Imo State Polytechnic, Umuagwo, became an amputee while she was still a student of the school. As if that was not enough, an abusive partner got her pregnant and she was thereafter rejected and disowned by her mother.

While she is grateful to her friend, who has been gracious to take her in as a squatter, she says the thought of suicide has not stopped crossing her mind and is only being held back by fear of what would become of her 10-month-old baby.

Her plight began in 2013 when she was involved in an accident while returning from school.

A medical report from the Imo State University Teaching Hospital, signed by orthopaedic surgeon, Dr. Okafor Bonny, noted that Cynthia was brought to the hospital on February 20, 2013 with the examination done on her showing a mangled left lower limb with no distal pulse present.

The report added: “The limb was looking pale and extremely cold. So a diagnosis of left lower limb gangrene extending to the proximal thigh was made. Patient had an above knee amputation of the left lower limb on the 2nd of March 2013.

“Patient was managed for three weeks and discharged in satisfactory condition on crutches.”

Cynthia recalled that while she was in the hospital, she enjoyed so much support from her parents, especially her father. Unfortunately, her father, who she regarded as her best friend, died; a situation she said caused her to regret coming into the world.

She said: “When I look at my situation, my child is the only reason why I’m alive. I would have since ended my own life. My condition is making me to think of committing suicide.”

Asked what the problem was as she repeatedly gasped for breath while speaking with our correspondent, she said: “I have ulcer and malaria and I have also been stooling blood.”


Romance gone awry

For Cynthia, getting amputated was bad, but getting pregnant for a partner she described as abusive was worse. Describing the one year she spent with her partner Okpara, whom she met on Facebook, as miserable, Cynthia recalled how she cried every night and repeatedly asked herself how she found herself in such a mess.

She recalled that for four months after their first meeting on Facebook, they engaged each other in animated chats. She said she was honest enough to tell Okpara about her physical condition but he did not believe her until they met physically about four months later.

While they were dating, she recalled that it was love all the way; adding that as soon as she got pregnant, the love that Okpara professed for her literally disappeared.

She said: “My leg had already been amputated before we met. When we eventually met physically, he said he never knew I was telling him the truth about my leg. We chatted for like four months before I eventually met him.”

Things would probably have been better if they had any mutual friend, but that was never the case, as they never allowed anybody in their space and neither of them took the other to meet their family members.

Not long after they met physically, Cynthia said she started staying with Okpara late in 2019 and become pregnant in 2020.

Cynthia’s mother was exasperated when she realised that her daughter was pregnant and decided that she would not allow her to remain in the family house. The only option left for Cynthia in the circumstance was to stay with Uche, which she eventually did.

“I have tried to call her and many people have also tried on my behalf but she refused to take me back,” Cynthia said of her mother.

Reminiscing on her life with Okpara, she said: “His name is Okpara. I was visiting him and along the line, I got pregnant for him and his character changed. He started beating me any time I made any slight mistake.

“The only time he saw his son was when I gave birth to him. And ever since, he has not seen him.

“Okpara is a hot tempered person. He might come and say I did not cook for him and he would start beating me.

“At times, somebody might have offended him before he came home and he would transfer the aggression to me.

“He might even come home and see something somewhere; he would start shouting and asking me why I didn’t remove it and it would lead to him beating me again.”

Cynthia said she never bothered to report what was going on to anyone because it never occurred to her to do so. The only intervention she got was from neighbours who advised her to stay away from Okpara because it appeared as if he never loved her and Cynthia was the one forcing herself on him.

She said: “Neighbours told me that the boy did not love me and that I should go. They said it seemed as if I was forcing myself on him. Eventually, I thought they could be right, so I later decided to leave.”

She is however worried that for more than one year now, she has not been able to contact her former heartthrob and she does not know any of Okpara’s family members she can talk to.

“He never took me to his village while we were together. He only told me that he was from Abia State,” she said.

She also said she has not been able to access her Facebook account through which she could have reached him, because it was blocked when it was discovered that the account was about to be compromised.

It was the Facebook account that she was using to raise appeal from well-meaning Nigerians.

“The phone number I used in opening the Facebook account is also lost. I later went to the MTN office to retrieve the line. They said the name they were seeing on the line was not my name.

“I explained to them that it was my line and it was the time I had an accident that I couldn’t go out, so I sent my younger sister to go and register the MTN number for me. The MTN people insisted that the girl must be the one to go and retrieve it.”

She said she made several efforts to make her sister help her in retrieving the line but to no avail. “I don’t know,” she said with a gesture of frustration.

“Out of frustration, I returned to my mum’s place but my mother couldn’t accommodate me. She said I should go back to the person that impregnated me and that I couldn’t stay in her house. She said I was a disgrace. I pleaded with her but she refused.”

Reprieve however came her way when her sister invited her to come and stay with her. She said that was where she stayed till she gave birth.

“Out of frustration, I deleted Okpara’s number from my phone. And when the SIM got lost, I could not retrieve it because of an identity problem

“When I gave birth, the guy (Okpara) came begging me that he wanted me back. I later went back but he didn’t change his character. He continued beating me even while I was breastfeeding the baby. I later packed my things and returned to my elder sister’s house.”

Unfortunately, her elder sister refused to take her back, saying that even the first time she accommodated Cynthia, her husband did not like it.

“She told me that her husband said I should not come to the house again. She advised me to start looking for a place to stay.”

With the foregoing situation, Cynthia started making contacts on Facebook. Fortunately, she met a lady who was ready to accommodate her.

“She asked me if I could come to Lagos and I said yes. Eventually, I came to Lagos,” she said.

“I did beg on Facebook or on the streets. From the little money I was able to gather, I started selling meat pie.”

But her reprieve was short-lived because after staying a while, the lady in question told her that she wanted to get married, hence she should look for another accommodation.

Cynthia called one of her ex-schoolmates for assistance and “she agreed that I should come to her house. She is living with her aunt. She said she had seen my posts on Facebook. That was how I went back to Orlu, Imo State where I’m currently staying.”


How accident altered her life

Cynthia recalled that she was hit by a vehicle while she was returning home from school on a motorcycle. For close to a year after, she was in the hospital and her leg was eventually amputated.

She, however, did not allow that to deter her as she continued with her education until she graduated from the institution in October 2016.

The second born of the family, Cynthia has six other siblings. She disclosed that her father’s support and encouragement was massive and it kept her going. He was a tax official until his death, she recalled.

Cynthia is currently battling ulcer on account of which she is stooling blood.

“Since my partner kicked me out, I have not had any contact with him. I actually deleted his number and I later lost that line. He too did not bother to call me.

“I’m sick and I have taken drugs but they have not been working. Right now, I’m stooling blood.”

“When I look at my situation, my child is the only reason why I’m alive. I would have ended my life. This condition is making me to think of committing suicide.

Cynthia does not want to depend on people for the rest of her life. She would like to work and do business if she gets assistance

She told The Nation that she could sell clothes if she has people to support her.

“I’ve stopped going to church. I’m tired of going to church. Ever since I started going to church what has that done to my life? I’m no longer interested in going to church.

“I prayed and prayed and nothing changed. I don’t pray anymore.”

“I’m calling on all Nigerians to help me so that I can get an artificial leg that can enable me to walk well, and also help me get a shelter and financial empowerment so I can start up a better business and return to Lagos.

“It was on July 11, 2021 the lady accommodating me told me to leave, that she would be relocating to her husband’s house on the 13th. She said she had given me enough time to get a place to stay and that I was the one delaying her.

“It was then I started making calls and luckily, one of my classmates called me and said she heard my story. I explained to her that I was stranded and that was how she asked me to come down to her place with the promise that she would welcome me if I can make it down to the East. This was what led me to return to the East.

I have always had two businesses on my mind which I will love to delve into if I have the resources, namely a boutique or a spa. I really need the help of Nigerians. Account name: Cynthia Chiamaka Okoro. Account number: 6456545011, FCMB.

Mynd44
Lalasticlala

Is that why she go braless

We could judge the lady as using emotionally abusive tactics to hold us emotionally hostage to her. One could infer that by threatening suicide, she is saying to those in and out of her life or circle , that her demands must be met, else her life is on the line, but is this so? Do we really think if we are in her situation, we will not have such mental health crisis or even worse?…and so it is not our position to judge at all.

We could pray for the return of Okpara but that might be the coming of an abusive partner and a return to an abusive relationship.

We could judge the mother as unforgiving and the rest of her immediate family as cruel.

But while we do, and hope that perhaps out of the fear of our judgments and rebuke and threats, and hope that perhaps out of that fear, that we will hold the family responsible for her suicide if she does go that path and afraid they will be lynched by individuals not aware of their actions at perhaps redeeming their daughter or their justification for their behavior towards their daughter; the door is opened again for her, and she is redeemed from the dark thoughts that consumes her. I think the end matters here than the means to the end.

….Or rather than forcing the family to take her on, when they would rather not; is it possible we set her mind on higher things, put her through some therapies, that repairs her mind and her esteem, clamor the implementation of an affirmative action on her behalf (Like the FG promises to implement 5% of jobs for persons with disabilities) and that by empowering her, we restore her esteem and mental health and she becomes again attractive to those who may have abandoned her or even better, become visible to those who should cherish her.

It seems, she has identified one or two businesses she could do, which is great… but identifying or having a flair or momentarily passion… is often not sufficient… so that the next story is not how she was fleeced or how her condition hindered the success of her idea, despite the fund received or how she gave the fund to Okpara in order to rent his love. I think she has to commit to a due diligence on her part, this shows efforts and an understanding of the scope of what she intends. The evidence of a proposal that supports such idea is relevant; it gives an idea as to her expectations, that way, she can have a go-fund me account and the amount she intends to raise is stipulated.

Nonetheless, we all can still assist and take her out of the dire she is in first, when we look away, the man who want to take sexual advantage of her would approach her and shatter what is left of her heart and life. Here already, we have seen those whose only notion of her situation is in sexual tones or innuendos. If there is an NGO that she can approach, please do assist her with. Also, no amount really is insignificant, do share what you can.

Some men are heartless

Maxymilliano:
Is that why she go braless

WETIN YOUR EYES FIND GO THERE

EYA



SORRY

HMM










My siggy

Terrible story.

Oga, thank you for all the well written English and kindhearted words. After that, don't forget her Account details in the last paragraph.

Maybe the person below has something else to say.

Vichot:
Some men are heartless

Mechie onu nsi there.
Didn't you read where she said her mother, sister and friend all ejected her out?
Ina ako tuuuu!

What's with the nipples? Was the photographer in a hurry to take the picture?
Guys that sleep with amputees how do you guys do it?

She would be alright eventually.....

AlhajiNatty:

Mechie onu nsi there.
Didn't you read where she said her mother, sister and friend all ejected her out?
Ina ako tuuuu!

And your sense didn't tell u that without the man getting her pregnant, she wouldn't have been contemplating suicide?
Okasi mara

Anybody that wants to die should be allowed to die