When you love someone is that not enough? Do you need to exercise control?

I feel control is for dogs and children not for fully grown adults with minds and desires of their own.

What do you think?

Control in terms of what?

Ms. Potato:

Control in terms of what?

In terms of making your partner do everything you say, make them jump through the hoops just to please you, demand certain behaviour no matter how inconvenient or untimely.

I believe people who always want to control someone is not secure with themselves,

190:

Lord reed can i control you with my remote controller

Your controller doesn't have the software or hardware requirements.

I understand control to mean 'not giving the person freedom to choose anything on their own or be themselves at all.
Its of course not good. A human being will take it for a while but will soon break.And when they break you dont wanna be close to them.They become wild and maul you.

Lord_Reed:

When you love someone is that not enough? Do you need to exercise control?

I feel control is for dogs and children not for fully grown adults with minds and desires of their own.

What do you think?

You impressed me.

There is def no reason to tryy controlling your spouse, as it simply proves a sign of insecurity and weakness.

But all relationship has to have ome level of discipline and authority, and the one supposedly welding that authority has to show it with maturity.

Mrs.Chima:

You impressed me.

LoL! But I always do

izeek:

There is def no reason to tryy controlling your spouse, as it simply proves a sign of insecurity and weakness.

But all relationship has to have one level of discipline and authority, and the one supposedly welding that authority has to show it with maturity.

Nice one. I agree.

A person who controls does it as a sign of fear, insecurity and what not.
You mustn't put another person down just to feel like a man. Why should your partner cower in fear before you? Is it supposd to be a relationship or a military regime? Smh.

Sm men cant do witout it

Reed, what I do know about relationships is that both must be able to accept at least 90% of each other behaviours in the most comfortable way without having to try to change the person completely. Cause if you feel like alot of things about her is not suitable for u and u feel like u want to control her, than she is not the one for u.

Hmm

Lord_Reed:

LoL! But I always do

Not always.

izeek:

There is def no reason to tryy controlling your spouse, as it simply proves a sign of insecurity and weakness.

But all relationship has to have ome level of discipline and authority, and the one supposedly welding that authority has to show it with maturity.

Sorry did you just described a parent to child relationship?

I am just asking.

izeek:

There is def no reason to tryy controlling your spouse, as it simply proves a sign of insecurity and weakness.

But all relationship has to have ome level of discipline and authority, and the one supposedly welding that authority has to show it with maturity.

control is a strong word.but then some1 has to be in charge just to checkmate errors.

@octar, i believe what you mean is that there should be some level of discipline and a sense of direction.

@mrs chima, i never described a parent to child relationship.
Am talking of a proper home, where a man and a woman are living as married couple.
You dont just expect that each party does as he/she pleases do you.
Someone has to lead, could be the guy or the girl, but must be done in a subtle manner.

@Poster
people out to control their partners are fooling themselves into believing that this person is the right one for them , when obviously it aint. no matter how hard they try to change their partner, the real them will come right back eventually, thus it is just a waste of time and energy to try to control someone.

people should let their partner be who they truly are. . . . . . . . . . . if that person is what they look for, GOOD, if they aint, GOOD now they can move on to a better one!

also, unfortunately, some people out there want/need to be controlled, they are quick to give away their right to have a mind of their own for the good of "BB, RENT" and what not!!!!

MRbrownJAY:

@Poster
people out to control their partners are fooling themselves into believing that this person is the right one for them , when obviously it aint. no matter how hard they try to change their partner, the real them will come right back eventually, thus it is just a waste of time and energy to try to control someone.

people should let their partner be who they truly are. . . . . . . . . . . if that person is what they look for, GOOD, if they aint, GOOD now they can move on to a better one!

also, unfortunately, some people out there want/need to be controlled, they are quick to give away their right to have a mind of their own for the good of "BB, RENT" and what not!!!!

If you have to control a GROWN MAN OR WOMAN then you need not to be with them. It is simple as 1,2, and 3.

izeek:

@octar, i believe what you mean is that there should be some level of discipline and a sense of direction.

@mrs chima, i never described a parent to child relationship.
Am talking of a proper home, where a man and a woman are living as married couple.
You dont just expect that each party does as he/she pleases do you.
Someone has to lead, could be the guy or the girl, but must be done in a subtle manner.

You said discipline and authority automatically my mind shifted to child/parent relationship. A married couple working in partnership and understanding will be the best way to go. In traditional marriage, men are considered the leader however too many men can't even spell leader let alone lead IN THIS WORLD. Sad.

^^ the problem is that, as i posted earlier, some people NEED such kind of person in their lives to feel SECURE about their own lives. control with money, control with decisions in the home, control in the daily grind of that union.
read on NL how some men would rather that their wives stay home doing nothing rather than going to work. not all men out there can handle a REAL woman!

MBJ! You make me sick!

^^ what did i say to make you sick? and whats this new (190) trend of changing your sexuality on NL?

MRbrownJAY:

^^ what did i say to make you sick? and whats this new (190) trend of changing your sexuality on NL?

I don't like agreeing with male species and I agree with what you are said below

MRbrownJAY:

^^ the problem is that, as i posted earlier, some people NEED such kind of person in their lives to feel SECURE about their own lives. control with money, control with decisions in the home, control in the daily grind of that union.
read on NL how some men would rather that their wives stay home doing nothing rather than going to work. not all men out there can handle a REAL woman!

Don't get too happy! It doesn't happen too often!

@ all, if we all chastize those that control


what will be the lot of those desribed as naturally domineering, controlling and stable.

Are you all saying they are not entitled to find love?

not to much [img]http://2.s07.flagcounter.com/count/DymW/bg=ffffff/txt=ffffff/border=ffffff/columns=1/maxflags=1/viewers=3/labels=0/[/img] [img]http://s07.flagcounter.com/count/DymW/bg=ffffff/txt=ffffff/border=ffffff/columns=1/maxflags=1/viewers=3/labels=0/[/img] [img]http://2.s08.flagcounter.com/count/hnp/bg=Ffffff/txt=ffffff/border=ffffff/columns=1/maxflags=1/viewers=3/labels=1.jpg[/img] [img]http://s08.flagcounter.com/count/hnp/bg=Ffffff/txt=ffffff/border=ffffff/columns=1/maxflags=1/viewers=3/labels=1.jpg[/img]

op
if u
want .

I feel there is a predisposing view of the meaning of control here. I think we should be graduate the term. I certainly don't want to be in anything without a control. Haba.

OP.

Yep, we should always control them . . .Most of em feature rigor madness

I know the POSTER is not talking about being there for your spouse or partner in their time of needs. Control as in being the one to make the final decision and scold the other person if they are not obeying the controller.

Controlling a woman or man that spends money is not going to help because resentment is unpredictable and uncontrollable. But good luck on that people!

@topic, such attitude is common among GUYS, dey always wanna be in control, and its bull-shit!!!