Kobojunkie:
Marriage is beautiful out here... unless you are referring to Nigerian-style-wayo marriages.

ednut1:
men have no rights here. Divorce is 40% rate in the usa. The man loses a lot normally

Kobojunkie:
Men have no rights where? So all the married western men have no rights? Do you folks even process these things at all?,

So because divorce rate is 40% here in the USA means marriage is not beautiful? The man looses a lot, you claim, yet every single year, many men walk straight into and out of marriage of their own free will. This tainted view of reality wey you carry, you sure say e dey pay at all?

ednut1:
women file divorce 80% of the time in the usa. Abeg no dey stress me

ednut1:
men have no rights here. Divorce is 40% rate in the usa. The man loses a lot normally

LettyLayo:
How did you arrive at this figure?

LettyLayo:
How did you arrive at this figure?

ednut1:
simple research online

PoliteActivist:


You just assume quality independent women abroad are lined up waiting for some hustling struggling Nigerian man to marry. Has it ever occurred to you that the quality ones marry their own men, and what's available to the Nigerian man are the "rejects"

ednut1:
simple research online

Amanee:


Lmao
Omo with the way Nigerian guys abroad act, you'd think the reverse is the case. Condolences to all parties involved

Hathor5:


First of all, Europe is not a country. At least, it wasn't until I checked last time.

So where exactly did she get the "largesse" payment for child support you are talking about?

And how much was it?

Asking for a friend.

PoliteActivist:


You just assume quality independent women abroad are lined up waiting for some hustling struggling Nigerian man to marry. Has it ever occurred to you that the quality ones marry their own men, and what's available to the Nigerian man are the "rejects"

Skyview01:


Op, don't answer this question make her friend no leave her husband after the largesse. lol

PoliteActivist:
You just assume quality independent women abroad are lined up waiting for some hustling struggling Nigerian man to marry. Has it ever occurred to you that the quality ones marry their own men, and what's available to the Nigerian man are the "rejects"

Kobojunkie:
And whose fault is that mostly?
Amanee, greenie77, Skyview01, LettyLayo, ednut1

Skyview01:
My brother, i would hazard a guess that you married a bad woman. Even if you hadn't taken her abroad, she would have still turned on you at her time. Trust me, there are lots of ladies like her in Nigeria and I am glad you are out of that toxic relationship as your peace of mind is more valuable.
As a married man, i would say marriage is not do or die, do not stay in a toxic relationship. It is not worth your peace of mind.

Peace out

LettyLayo:
Oga let's hear from the woman

Kobojunkie:
And whose fault is that mostly?

Amanee:


The men should work on improving themselves to meet up and even surpass the women they meet abroad instead of settling for women they think would be low maintenance. Success minded men should not be looking for females to rescue, they should be looking for partners but what do I know? Nigerian men and charity cases are like 5&6

Daveambition:
Grown up man go just sidon dey write rubbish long epistle give public..
Marriage no sweet buh yu enjoy'am reach 17yrs
Yu can only deceive the gullible ones..
Things i read here on a daily fit make man puke

Raalsalghul:


There is nothing beautiful about marriage.

It's just another business of life transaction people go into - and in recent times with a high probability of failure.

You better stop writing all these feel-good nonsense about marriage: absolutely nothing special about that institution.

Lostchild:
Mr Pascopele
Marriage is temporary

Try to enjoy your peace

Pascopele:
Many men (including myself) got married for the wrong reasons. (in my case because she got pregnant and I did not want to have a child out of wedlock) . I have been regretting marrying that woman and taking her abroad for the past 17 years .

IF only I had left her in Nigeria and kept sending money for the kids upkeep or better still bringing only the baby abroad as the embassy staff suggested and even facilitated by them refusing her a visa but granting the new born baby right of passage by including the baby on my passport.

But did I heed this heavenly sent message that she wasn't my wife No, I did not and was blinded by wanting to have an ideal family where man, wife and child all lived in the same country under the same roof everyday and I went back to my station to file her immigration appeal and employed an expensive barrister to fight her case (at great financial cost to me) only for her to change the game after 10 years of my taking her abroad and she wanted to now give me skirt to wear and she will now be wearing the trouser and she conveniently forgot that we both grew up in Naija in an area where the men were always the king and not the queen.

At some point she lost her job and i was about to buy a house and i still included her name on the mortgage as Mr and Mrs without thinking twice about it but when the financial tables turned against me (my job got off shored to India and we had to sell the house to prevent repossession after I realised that i couldn't keep on paying the mortgage with my savings or credit card) , she waited until we BOTH spent all of my generous redundancy pay and once she noticed that I had started dipping into my generous credit card limit and that was going down fast she changed the game and started showing her real colours and showing me shege by openly abusing me and calling me lazy in front of our kids and at one point she asked me LOUDLY in front of our 10 year old son IF I WAS MAD and the boy looked at me, looked back at her and i noticed that his behavior changed that very day.

This is THE SAME WOMAN who before I took her abroad she will cry until her eyes go red anytime I was leaving Nigeria to go back to my base abroad before I brought her over.

So we were now renting (after selling the house to prevent repossession after my job moved to India with 100% redundancies) and the 6 months rent I paid up front for the new house we were now renting had run out and I had just come back from scoping some business in Naija and so was now looking for work afresh while she was working full time and (in my absence) she had gone to the Govt to start claiming single parent benefit (when she was not single as i had only traveled to Naija for 2 months) and her full time salary coupled with the generous single parent benefit was too much money for her to handle that she just went haywire and wanted me out of the house at all cost so that she can now be genuinely a single mother and continue collecting the financial largesse from the govt on top of her full time salary.

She even perfected her plans by telling my 3 year old daughter that I had abandoned her and the Oyinbo childminder I was paying for had to correct my ex by telling her not to ever tell a 3 year old that her father has abandoned her. The old Oyinbo woman knowing me knew that i would never abandon any of my kids but my crafty ex was covering all loop holes in her quest to be seen as legitimately a single mother so that nothing will stand in her way of receiving the govt ordained generous single mother money. (so she thought that by coaching and lying to my 3 year old daughter that i had abandoned her, this would buttress her money grabbing antics from the govt single parent cash handouts.

I became a loser in her eyes and the same woman I gave European citizenship on a platter of Gold will now tell me that I am just using her for shelter (just because she was now paying the rent after the 6 months rent advance i paid had expired) . ?

At some point I resorted to sleeping in my car at times even in winter and one day my then 10 year old son saw me as he was going to school and just shook his head.

When your wife wants to make you fail, they know what to do and which buttons to press and I used to liken it to a man planning how to pick himself up after losing his job and blowing his balloon full of job hunting plans and his wife turns around to puncture his balloon and she ends up deflating his plans with just one act of nastiness for example by calling him lazy or asking him if he is mad right in front of his kids all in a quest for him to move out of the house in annoyance so that she can now be a legitimate single mother in the eyes of the govt who squanders tax payers money on handouts to single mothers who have no need to live with a man who will be a hindrance to the govt cash handouts to single mothers.

Its no wonder that Europe is the single mother capital of the world.

I considered suicide at some point but could not bring myself to the point of offing myself and there was a day I thought of ending it all by running full speed and head butting a moving bus at like 3am in the morning - Insomnia comes with the territory when your wife turns against you just because you are temporarily unemployed.

I should have legged it from that marriage when my then 10 year old son told me one day that - Daddy, it seems as if Mummy wants to finish you . But I stayed in the marriage because I loved being under the same roof with my children (10 and 3 at the time) . Moreover that's what I saw my parents and their friends do.

Today she has monopolized the kids through hardcore brainwashing which she perfected when I went to Nigeria to try my hands at business some years ago.

So, she now has 100% full access to the kids (Young adults - both over 18 now) and you know that western kids have a mind of their own and you can NOT really force them to look for you if they don't FEEL LIKE.

The brain washing she has carried out on my children is as bad as that my Dad died 2 years ago and both of my kids have not called me up till today to commiserate with me even though their mum knows about my Dad's passing and my children live with their mum - whereas when her own dad died a few years earlier, my son shouldered a sizeable part of the burial costs even though he has not been to Nigeria since I brought him and his mum abroad when he was only a few months old.

Thank heavens I eventually gave that woman a lot of distance after finally realizing that if I continued living under the same roof with her, she would either kill me one day or send me to prison or I would kill her and that would be no good for our kids as the western govt care system for kids more often than not messes up the children's heads.

Now my peace of mind is worth more than any marriage.

I still date occasionally but at the first sign that a woman will stress me out or is not a peaceful human being, or is a liar dishonest, unreliable, troublesome, argumentative, unforgiving, vengeful or a flirt, I call off the relationship.

I've been separated from my Ex for more than 10 years now and she is still single (as in not legally married as she would need to get a divorce from me first which i would GLADLY give her anytime she meets someone she wants to marry).

I've been back in the same western country with her now for more than 13 years now and she is still single (we could have mended things 13 years ago but I saw that she was still as cantankerous and as argumentative as ever and i just stayed away from her.)

The longer I stay separated from her and single, the more I'm loving my singleness as no be say i need pikin again and the PEACEFUL companionship that a man needs from a wife is lacking in MOST Naija women especially cantankerous first wives especially the ones in western countries .

When I eventually get tired of being a bachelor then I may try dating again but for now a woman living with me is not my priority UNTIL I find a woman who genuinely loves peace, is not childish or vindictive, not combative or petty and will NOT try to be the man in the house and will not turn my children against me just because she lives in the West where their damaged system allows such arrant nonsense.

Marriage is a case of FOOLS RUSH IN WHERE ANGELS FEAR TO THREAD

If you know, you know.

drnoel:


Story full of bile from just a single experience. This doesn't prove that marriage is bad. It only proves that 1 experience is not enough to make a decision.