My Elder brother offended me so bad I felt pain that i thought of commiting sucide.

I went into depression
infact that moment has been one of the worst moment of my life


Since then I cut off communication with him about 2 years now

But I told all family members what happened.
Gradually the pain is heal n gone.
From my heart I forgive him
But I don't want him in my Life again
I lost that blood connection with him cos of what he did to me I was deeply hurt then.

But God who sees my heart knows I have forgiven n

I found so much peace with out him in my life

But people are telling me to call him to beg him that
Because no matter what he is older then me.

My problem is
Non of this people point out his wrongs to him though this has always been the way he is always right no Matter what.

Some family members keep saying am the last born there are 4 people before me so I should be the one to call him

It has always been like this anytime he has issues with anyone even if he is completely wrong people will push you to Go n bag him
Which I feel is because he has money
God bless him more than any of us for now.

My brother has never told anyone sorry because he feels he is entitled to wrong anyone and the person owe him an apology.

One hardly find peace being around him is will always be from one problem to the other

Cos he listened to gossip too much
Is like that is the only way to his heart people who need financial favour from him go with gossip

Is act is always bringing problems but yet he will not change

I don't want to apologize cos he badly offended me though I have forgiven.

Most importantly for me is the rest of mind I found since I took him out of my life .

Am so scared of having any relationship with him cos I see him as trouble.

Please is it possible to forgive your brother without communicating with him?

If you’ve forgiven him.. and you’ve got your peace ..
.. my dear sail ahead.. forget him, and enjoy your peace.

Got same experience with my last born.. gee wan fight me. I’ve forgiven him .. but he have lost blood.

E just happen .. I disconnected. And don’t wish to connect

Oga, you never tell us Wetin him do you.

But, if you have peace of mind without him in your life, I'd suggest you ignore what people are saying and focus on your peace of mind.

Studio247:
My Elder brother offended me so bad I felt pain that i thought of commiting sucide.

I went into depression
infact that moment has been one of the worst moment of my life


Since then I cut off communication with him about 2 years now

But I told all family members what happened.
Gradually the pain is heal n gone.
From my heart I forgive him
But I don't want him in my Life again
I lost that blood connection with him cos of what he did to me I was deeply hurt then.

But God who sees my heart knows I have forgiven n

I found so much peace with out him in my life

But people are telling me to call him to beg him that
Because no matter what he is older then me.

My problem is
Non of this people point out his wrongs to him though this has always been the way he is always right no Matter what.

Some family members keep saying am the last born there are 4 people before me so I should be the one to call him

It has always been like this anytime he has issues with anyone even if he is completely wrong people will push you to Go n bag him
Which I feel is because he has money
God bless him more than any of us for now.

My brother has never told anyone sorry because he feels he is entitled to wrong anyone and the person owe him an apology.

One hardly find peace being around him is will always be from one problem to the other

Cos he listened to gossip too much
Is like that is the only way to his heart people who need financial favour from him go with gossip

Is act is always bringing problems but yet he will not change

I don't want to apologize cos he badly offended me though I have forgiven.

Most importantly for me is the rest of mind I found since I took him out of my life .

Am so scared of having any relationship with him cos I see him as trouble.

Please is it possible to forgive your brother without communicating with him?

YES! It's very much Possible OP!! You can forgive someone and never feel the need to communicate with them again! It happens. You just forgive them from a distance and Move on

At this point in time OP, I think it's high time you double your hustle so your elder brother wouldn't always have this mindset of "I am the one with the money, when he's tired and hungry, he'll come along to beg". Heaven knows you wouldn't do me wrong and I'd still be the one to come and apologize to you, maybe unless you're the one holding my breath


My 2 cent

As long as you know deep down you have no grude against him but for your sanity sake would rather he stay at arms length, then keep him off ! Your mental health is more important.
Not all family should be part of us expecially if they are toxic

Cut off contact with whoever will take away the peace of mind you have worked so hard to build irrespective of the relationship you share. Some blood relatives are toxic and draining! Family is beyond blood, there are people who aren't related to you by blood but would love you like you are siblings. I am tired of hearing people say forgive and forget. You can forgive and decide not to forget. I wish you all the best.

Since you've forgiven him, wish him merry Christmas on 25th and move, do same on 1st and also move. On his birthday, do same and face front. When your paths cross, greet him well, be nice to him and face front. Act like nothing happened, don't let anyone reopen healed wounds

All these last born sef.

What could you possibly be dragging with your elder brother?
I used to think the first and last born have this special bond where the first born brings in the last child to stay with him or her in their own house. Why is yours different?
It's like you're the problem here.

Since you're not ready to respect and be under your elder brother, I'll advise you just stay on your own. If you can, go to his house and apologize to him. then stay away.

Don't go and start begging him for money since you don't want any relationship with him for fear of being controlled by him. Dey your dey.

Stubborn last born.

Mercychen:
All these last born sef.

What could you possibly be dragging with your elder brother?
I used to think the first and last born have this special bond where the first born brings in the last child to stay with him or her in their own house. Why is yours different?
It's like you're the problem here.

Since you're not ready to respect and be under your elder brother, I'll advise you just stay on your own. If you can, go to his house and apologize to him. then stay away.

Don't go and start begging him for money since you don't want any relationship with him for fear of being controlled by him. Dey your dey.

Stubborn last born.

You're a mumu woman!

.

I have not been in speaking terms with my only sister for years now...I have decided to allow it be this way,I don't hate her but I have my peace of my mind.

Sound inputs up there. Just to reiterate, peace of mind over everything.

Mercychen:
All these last born sef.

What could you possibly be dragging with your elder brother?
I used to think the first and last born have this special bond where the first born brings in the last child to stay with him or her in their own house. Why is yours different?
It's like you're the problem here.

Since you're not ready to respect and be under your elder brother, I'll advise you just stay on your own. If you can, go to his house and apologize to him. then stay away.

Don't go and start begging him for money since you don't want any relationship with him for fear of being controlled by him. Dey your dey.

Stubborn last born.

He said he's brother hurt him to the point where he contemplated suicide and you're saying "he's the problem here", how exactly did you come to this conclusion ma'am??

Favfables1:


He said he's brother hurt him to the point where he contemplated suicide and you're saying "he's the problem here", how exactly did you come to this conclusion ma'am??

What makes you believe the brother hurt him badly when he didn't state the actual thing his brother did that hurt him?

How can you judge and conclude by just listening to one side of the story. Also do not forget that last borns are fond of acting victim in any little misunderstanding they have with their older siblings. So, it's likely he's feeling intimidated by his elder brother which is normal with all last borns reason I made that statement.

You can also tell from the way he referred to his elder brothers financial status that he's simply feeling intimidated hence the resentments towards his elder brother.

Mercychen:


1. What makes you believe the brother hurt him badly when he didn't state the actual thing his brother did that hurt him?

2. How can you judge and conclude by just listening to one side of the story.

3. Also do not forget that last borns are fond of acting victim in any little misunderstanding they have with their older siblings.

4. So, it's likely he's feeling intimidated by his elder brother which is normal with all last borns reason I made that statement.

You can also tell from the way he referred to his elder brothers financial status that he's simply feeling intimidated hence the resentments towards his elder brother.

1. So because he didn't state exactly what his brother did to hurt him, it automatically means that his brother did nothing?? Wawu....

2. Please point out where in my statement I concluded or judged... it is even you who concluded and was judgemental...

Go back and look at your statement again and tell me if it's not judgemental and conclusive?.. You judged him as the problem, you already concluded that he is disrespectful and stubborn when you have only "heard from one side" and yet you have the check to write this?? Wawu...

3. Wow...
Your statement reminds me of a particular gender

4. So you made your conclusions on the basis of what is "likely"? Wawu...

Honestly ma'am...
Your entire write up is baseless and judgemental... And for someone of your standing, that's just petty...

Family first . . . Go and make peace with him. .

Parents learn not to train ur first born as demi gods,the parents feed their ego to the extent that they hardly relate with other siblings.i keep seeing this type of behavior happening in a lot of home even mine,some can't boast of one naira but their ego do make them not to ask for help.my dear forgive and move on.

ambient:
Parents learn not to train ur first born as demi gods,the parents feed their ego to the extent that they hardly relate with other siblings.i keep seeing this type of behavior happening in a lot of home even mine,some can't boast of one naira but their ego do make them not to ask for help.my dear forgive and move on.

Hmmm... yeah,it boils down to training.

Studio247:
My Elder brother offended me so bad I felt pain that i thought of commiting sucide.

I went into depression
infact that moment has been one of the worst moment of my life


Since then I cut off communication with him about 2 years now

But I told all family members what happened.
Gradually the pain is heal n gone.
From my heart I forgive him
But I don't want him in my Life again
I lost that blood connection with him cos of what he did to me I was deeply hurt then.

But God who sees my heart knows I have forgiven n

I found so much peace with out him in my life

But people are telling me to call him to beg him that
Because no matter what he is older then me.

My problem is
Non of this people point out his wrongs to him though this has always been the way he is always right no Matter what.

Some family members keep saying am the last born there are 4 people before me so I should be the one to call him

It has always been like this anytime he has issues with anyone even if he is completely wrong people will push you to Go n bag him
Which I feel is because he has money
God bless him more than any of us for now.

My brother has never told anyone sorry because he feels he is entitled to wrong anyone and the person owe him an apology.

One hardly find peace being around him is will always be from one problem to the other

Cos he listened to gossip too much
Is like that is the only way to his heart people who need financial favour from him go with gossip

Is act is always bringing problems but yet he will not change

I don't want to apologize cos he badly offended me though I have forgiven.

Most importantly for me is the rest of mind I found since I took him out of my life .

Am so scared of having any relationship with him cos I see him as trouble.

Please is it possible to forgive your brother without communicating with him?

Wvat about your parents in this situation, are they still watching thus family drama just like that

Anyway, since you didn't mention what transpired and besides everyone is asking you to apologise to him, that means what you regarded as his offence wasn't really an offence

You can still reconcile with him and still keep away him