I will try to make this as short as possible
I got married to my wife in 2018, a very low key wedding
We had our child ten months after the wedding
She has a niece who schools close to the city we leave who drop by few times
A younger sis who visited close to our 1year anniversary, she asked how the anniversary will go which i replied the anniversary will take care of itself.
She got angry, and wanted to leave the next money, but changed her mind after i explained to her what i meant.
Few months later a niece who is younger came visiting, my wife was against it but due to the fact that i jusst don't want to be seen as a bad person i told her to let her visit.
While she was around, i do take her out, just on a normal basis, she always want to exchange numbers wit my male friends, which i strongly object to
She ended up exchanging num wit a guy who happens to be a close friend, and a known bad guy.
She was communicating with the guy which my wife and i were not satisfied with which made my wife reported her to the mum.
After a while she cooked up stories of how i beat my wife to the mother, and how i always go to peep at the window
The mum called my wife telling her she is very unhappy in the marriage and they are waitibg for when she will come home crying
My wife turn back and said all of it is my fault
Where did i go wrong

You don't have boundaries at all.

Seriously I don't understand this story well

DaddyRochie1642:
You don't have boundaries at all.

how do u mean please

fathertobe:
how do u mean please

You wrote it there in your write-up that you don't want to be seen as a bad person that's why you're being taken advantage of.

And I can tell that you're not an Authoritative man.

You sound WEAK.

Walahi,

for your sake,
Hope it's not what am thinking if not,
Just pray you don't end up Weeping and gnashing your teeth accompanied with Bitter Lamentations.

DaddyRochie1642:



You wrote it there in your write-up that you don't want to be seen as a bad person that's why you're being taken advantage of.

asking my inlaws not to come to my house will speak volumes. She came from a large house

I will reserve my comments.

Your wife is just being emotional so please ignore. You both should put hands together and deal with the externals.

Your wife was against the niece's presence but you went ahead to allow her in the house. You said she's from a large family which means, she knows her family well more than you. You could still maintain a good relationship with her family without bringing them into your home. Your marriage is still young, learn to consider your woman's opinion on things especially when it's about her family.

You are at fault, anyways.

Opeyemiextra:
Your wife is just being emotional so please ignore. You both you put hands together and deal with the externals.

ok

Just wondering why you had to take her out on a 'normal basis'. Unless you're saying you take her out alongside your wife?

You got too comfortable with her. Which is not too good.

You are trying to he nice, nice guys always come last

RoyalBlu:
Just wondering why you had to take her out on a 'normal basis'. Unless you're saying you take her out alongside your wife?

You got too comfortable with her. Which is not too good.

my wife happens to just be an homely type. She is an outgoing one, and i am too

Dreadshy:
You are trying to he nice, nice guys always come last

i guess so

fathertobe:
i guess so

although we are learning about life daily but define what you can take or else you will be used and dumped...

"Close friends" with a known bad guy?

I reserve my comments!

Skyview01:
"Close friends" with a known bad guy?

I reserve my comments!

So he shouldn't be friends with a known bad guy?

Did you hear him call him a criminal?

A known bad guy can mean a womanizer or anything..

This matter get as e be

Just relax your mind....don't let stuffs like this bother you.

I don't understand the peeping side?

Kindly throw more light on it

DarkJeddi:
So he shouldn't be friends with a known bad guy?

Did you hear him call him a criminal?

A known bad guy can mean a womanizer or anything..

I still wouldn't be close friends with a womanizer as a married man and a parent.
You expose your family to whatever friends you keep.

Jidemoo:
This matter get as e be

Just relax your mind....don't let stuffs like this bother you.

Try and fix a date with your wife.....make una go outside and have fun...there and then,you will discuss the matter with her.

i always do

Skyview01:


I still wouldn't be close friends with a womanizer as a married man and a parent.
You expose your family to whatever friends you keep.

my line of work needs me to keep friends a lil close

fathertobe:
my line of work needs me to keep friends a lil close

Ok. I see your point. For me, as a rule, no family member sleeps over in my house. Same goes for wife families.
Except they are of course little nephews or nieces.

fathertobe:
i always do

I had to read the article again.

From your post you said you do take your wife's niece out...that's exactly where your problem started from.

If it were that you do take the two of them (your wife and her niece) out together....it would have being a different case cos from the look of things....she felt that you don't have any power over her that's why she easily mingled with your friends...but your wife's presence would have averted that cos she would retrench whenever those guys make move.

Moreso,a lady can hardly submit under a fellow lady...they like being ontop no matter their size or age.

But don't worry,just make sure that you and your wife put head together and send her home before she get pregnant and put it all on you.

If you love your family......send her packing in a Matured way

MufasaLion:
Your wife was against the niece's presence but you went ahead to allow her in the house. You said she's from a large family which means, she knows her family well more than you. You could still maintain a good relationship with her family without bringing them into your home. Your marriage is still young, learn to consider your woman's opinion on things especially when it's about her family.

You are at fault, anyways.

I agree with you. I have a resolution for 2022. No family members or inlaws passes the night in my home. I will get an hotel if neccessary.
I cherish my privacy and peace of mind.

Jidemoo:
I had to read the article again.

From your post you said you do take your wife's niece out...that's exactly where your problem started from.

If it were that you do take the two of them (your wife and her niece) out together....it would have being a different case cos from the look of things....she felt that you don't have any power over her that's why she easily mingled with your friends...but your wife's presence would have averted that cos she would retrench whenever those guys make move.

Moreso,a lady can hardly submit under a fellow lady...they like being ontop no matter their size or age.

But don't worry,just make sure that you and your wife put head together and send her home before she get pregnant and put it all on you.

If you love your family......send her packing in a Matured way

she left after 3 months. Rhe issue generated after over a year

Skyview01:


I agree with you. I have a resolution for 2022. No family members or inlaws passes the night in my home. I will get an hotel if neccessary.
I cherish my privacy and peace of mind.

Well, I'd suggest you allow them pass the night in your home because cases like that ain't really avoidable especially in Africa.

MufasaLion:


Well, I'd suggest you allow them pass the night in your home because cases like that ain't really avoidable especially in Africa.

I have allowed in the past and some ended up staying for extended period of time.
I decided to change after been taken advantage of and i have decided to stop.

Skyview01:


I have allowed in the past and some ended up staying for extended period of time.
I decided to change after been taken advantage of and i have decided to stop.

Nice decision. This is one of the reasons some young couples like to move away from family because some families can be so entitled to things which makes it inconvenient for them.

Skyview01:


Ok. I see your point. For me, as a rule, no family member sleeps over in my house. Same goes for wife families.
Except they are of course little nephews or nieces.

does it include parents

fathertobe:
asking my inlaws not to come to my house will speak volumes. She came from a large house

Mr man the wife is the home manager if she doesn't want her relatives to visit you better respect her decision. Stick to provision

Huh

fathertobe:
does it include parents

My parents were always busy and would never pass the night in my house no matter how much i begged.
They are late now though.

The rule is mostly for the in laws.