Good morning Naira fam!

A lot has been going on around me lately, and even before now. I've sacrificed so much for the family and this year I've decided I'll put myself first. I've not even started but I feel guilty already.

Is putting me first the same as being selfish, because I'm confused

Yes .

If u haven't been putting yourself first before now,I think u have been cheating and depriving yourself of things deserving of a working class.

As a worker,u are obligated to assist your parents if they aren't buoyant but siblings aren't your job except in most exceptional cases like an emergency.

Remember to always pay yourself first before extending hands of fellowship to anyone. That has always guided me to this very day.
It is not selfishness rather they are the selfish ones for not allowing u to keep a fraction of your money.
GOOD LUCK TO U.

Nope. It simply means you prioritise your peace and happiness over anything that will bring you pain, discomfort or disrespect.

You care about your mental, emotional, psychological and physical health by setting healthy boundaries.

Doesn't mean you don't care about people, you do, but you just don't let them use you as a foot mat anymore.

Well done, you are finally gaining self confidence.

Nope, it is not.

It might not start out as being selfish, especially if you're one that usually would put others first, but you could get carried away.
The question is where do you draw the line?

There’s no difference between Most Nigerians and my penis. No matter what you do/did, they are never satisfied.

You can't actually be generous without putting yourself first, that's the irony. So before you can help others, you must help yourself first. Its not selfishness. Selfishness is when you have the capability to help, but refused to. No one will blame a beggar for not sending his child to school, but won't accept such from a wealthy man.

Imagine watching someone drowning, and you can't swim. It would be stupid to jump inside the river to save the person, no matter how much you want to. Or else the both of you will go down. Your first responsibility is to take care of yourself. Being generous why you are starving is not bad, but its not a good strategy to win in life.

pansophist:
You can't actually be generous without putting yourself first, that's the irony. So before you can help others, you must help yourself first. Its not selfishness. Selfishness is when you have the capability to help, but refused to. No one will blame a beggar for not sending his child to school, but won't accept such from a wealthy man.

Imagine watching someone drowning, and you can't swim. It would be stupid to jump inside the river to save the person, no matter how much you want to. Or else the both of you will go down. Your first responsibility is to take care of yourself. Being generous why you are starving is not bad, but its not a good strategy to win in life.

Hmmm, true talk, I don't know the very comment that made me follow you but at all times your comments are valid and mindsets I have. Had an experience related to this at my place of work, this guy one of the securities, he was always bugging requesting for money, not the only one though, the most annoying part was that the very week I started work, they were begging and I was put off with that mentality of theirs especially as I was off job for a year and the business I intended doing did not work out though I still have about 50% of my money and I lost the remaining to few investments and to feed myself, I don't womanise, drink or engage in gambling which this people do like it's a life threatening issue if they don't.

I have tried explaining to him and one other person why I can't afford to give him money, but he in particular made it a duty to ask me everyday and I get annoyed the more especially as I don't get the daily money they feel I am getting from the job, as my direct superior takes the bull of the money and still settles those above him leaving me with a meager 2k that comes once or twice a week, all this I explained and in their own section thay made it compulsory for the truck drivers we bring to pay them #500 before they allow them to be registered, which they later share amongst themselves and by my calculations he will be making nothing less than 3k or more weekly from this but he keeps bugging me till I talked to him rudely yesterday and told him never to try that with me again and all he could say was it is not his fault, and I ask whose fault. Even my direct superior I don't question him even when I know we are getting more than what he gives me at least I did not sign for the extra cash with him and I try to be contented and put myself first especially if the person requesting for help is not prudent with spending money, I don't think twice before saying NO.

Chiden:
Good morning Naira fam!

A lot has been going on around me lately, and even before now. I've sacrificed so much for the family and this year I've decided I'll put myself first. I've not even started but I feel guilty already.

Is putting me first the same as being selfish, because I'm confused

It's not wrong and you are not selfish, but if you must put others first, you need to ask yourself when you genuinely need help will they even consider you to be in their list. Many have followed this part and only a few came back with testimony of good tidings.
My first impression about people and money, boils down to what they earn, their lifestyle in comparison to what they earn, their rate of asking for financial help every now and then will determine whether they can be top priority in my list of people I can render help to and if they can be reliable when I need Urgent help due to an unplanned setback which I will definitely payback.

Chiden:
Is putting me first the same as being selfish, because I'm confused

You didn't quite explain the situation much but since you mention having sacrificed for others,
i feel to go with the religious angle here and say YES it is!

Chiden:
Good morning Naira fam!

A lot has been going on around me lately, and even before now. I've sacrificed so much for the family and this year I've decided I'll put myself first. I've not even started but I feel guilty already.

Is putting me first the same as being selfish, because I'm confused

Whether you put yourself first or last is not the issue

Find your bearing first, before you lap anyone

Only successful people have friends, failures doesn't have Friends

Kobojunkie:
You didn't quite explain the situation much but since you mention having sacrificed for others,
i feel to go with the religious angle here and say YES it is!

Kobo saying it like he/she means it since 1759.

Mariangeles:
Kobo saying it like he/she means it since 1759.

Honesty is the best policy abeg!

Kobojunkie:
Honesty is the best policy abeg!

Yeah. It is the easiest way to live life.
Being true to yourself.

.

No it isn't provided what you mean is loving yourself more as you need this to be able to love your family more.

No you're not being selfish, but what you are doing is called self love.

Yohans:
No you're not being selfish, but what you are doing is called self love.

What then does it mean to be selfish?

99% of the people in your life are perfectly capable of taking care of themselves; they literally do not need you. But you need you, so you do you first, everyone else gets your leftovers IF you choose to share with them.

Realizing that putting others first will wear you out emotionally, physically, mentally. Also realizing that other people won’t ever put you first anyways, so why should you

Kobojunkie:
What then does it mean to be selfish?

Putting oneself first, without regards for others.

Yohans:

Putting oneself first, without regards for others.

Self-love, defined as "love of self" or "regard for one's own happiness or advantage", has been conceptualized both as a basic human necessity and as a moral flaw, akin to vanity and selfishness, synonymous with amour propre, conceitedness, egotism, narcissism, et al.

However, throughout the centuries self-love has adopted a more positive connotation through pride parades, Self Respect Movement, self-love protests, the hippie era, the New Age feminist movement as well as the increase in mental health awareness that promotes self-love as intrinsic to self-help and support groups working to prevent substance abuse and suicide.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Self-love

Chiden:
Good morning Naira fam!

A lot has been going on around me lately, and even before now. I've sacrificed so much for the family and this year I've decided I'll put myself first. I've not even started but I feel guilty already.

Is putting me first the same as being selfish, because I'm confused

I was like you when I was growing up. I was taught to always love others more than myself and put them first before me. It was in my Uni days I discovered that as much as I put others first nobody puts me first. Omoh!, I began to learn self love on my own make person no remain mumu forever.

Love your neighbor as yourself not more than yourself. So you got to love yourself first.

If putting you first is selfishness, just know that everybody else is selfish too. Capisce!

Well...

If the people concern are real dependants you made like your children, it will be selfish to put yourself first. For everyone else, biko put yourself first....you are your major responsibility!

Chiden:
Good morning Naira fam!

A lot has been going on around me lately, and even before now. I've sacrificed so much for the family and this year I've decided I'll put myself first. I've not even started but I feel guilty already.

Is putting me first the same as being selfish, because I'm confused

Go Ahead and Put Yourself first. Only have a monthly percentage of you to share with someone. Once You reach the Treshold, Shut Down your window.

What is disturbing you is Emotional Stupidities and unnecessary Liabilities.

God is not asking you to give your all to Anybody but your Best and I think Tithe to God is even 10% of your total income on a monthly basis

Nonetheless, taking advantage of people is being selfish, Whatever You want to do, do it for God and move on. That's all!

Chiden:
Good morning Naira fam!

A lot has been going on around me lately, and even before now. I've sacrificed so much for the family and this year I've decided I'll put myself first. I've not even started but I feel guilty already.

Is putting me first the same as being selfish, because I'm confused

Relationship-No
Courtship - Yes
Marriage - Yes but can discuss with partner and learn to compromise