Are you looking for love? Do you want someone to find you attractive, to like your personality, to enjoy talking with you, to have a good time doing activities with you and to miss you when you are not there? Do you want someone to love you and care about you, nurture you, take care of you and devote their life to pleasing you?

Don't we all want that? Who wouldn't want someone else to think you are beautiful or handsome, to love your personality, to enjoy your conversations, to enjoy spending time with you and to long to be with you? But there is an important piece missing when we expect this to come from outside of our own self.

That piece is confidence, self-esteem, self-regard, self-acknowledgment and self-love. Put this piece into your life and you will not have to worry ever again about finding love. People will want to be with you. People will want to discover what you have that they are missing. People will naturally be drawn to you and like you and want to spend time with you.

Focus on your own self. Give to yourself whatever it is you would love to receive from someone else. Just doing that will take the burden off your most intimate partners. If they cannot provide you with the affection, kind words, understanding and love that you crave, the more you demand it and expect it from them, the less you will receive. The more you want to receive it from that other person, the more you will feel deprived and needy and inadequate.

Take your attention off the other person. Bring your awareness back to yourself, your thoughts, your emotions, your desires, your beliefs. Discover what is underneath your emotion when you feel upset because someone else is not providing for you in the way you think you need in this moment. Pay attention to your own personal responses all the time.

The more you are able to step back, self-reflect, and give your partner room to express his or her self, the more love you allow to blossom and grow between you. It is often not easy because love brings up anything unlike itself for the purpose of healing and release. So your beloved partner may act cold, angry, unloving, indifferent and you may become resentful, hurting and even depressed. Stop, self-reflect, examine your feelings and what is underneath your feelings, and what is underneath that. Then, when you have explored your own internal life more clearly, offer yourself all the love you wish this other person would provide for you.

Then, coming from a state of abundant and overflowing love, discover what your partner wants and needs in the moment. As you provide love from an overflowing state, you can express, gently, calmly and without expectation, the way you would like to feel with this person. Becoming the love you are looking for if a long term process of letting go, letting be, and allowing love to unfold.