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1.What is the biggest lie in the entire universe?
"I have read and agree to the Terms & Conditions."
2. I Renamed my iPod The Titanic, so when I plug it in, it says, “The Titanic is syncing.”
3. I was setting a voice recognition password for my new phone and a nearby dog barked and ran away. Now I am still looking for the dog to unlock my phone.
4.Where's the best place to hide a body?
Page two of Google Search.
5.Happy 3 week anniversary to the 26 browser tabs I have open."
6.Yesterday I decided to change my WiFi name to "Hack me if you can" and when I woke up this morning I saw the name changed to "Challenge accepted" somebody help."
7. Autocorrect has become my worst enema
8.Password looks at itself in the mirror:
"Don't listen to Google. You are a strong, confident password."
9.I’ve given up social media for the New Year and am trying to make friends outside Facebook while applying the same principles. Every day, I walk down the street and tell passersby what I’ve eaten, how I feel, what I did the night before, and what I will do tomorrow. Then I give them pictures of my family, my dog, and me gardening. I also listen to their conversations and tell them I love them. And it works. I already have three people following me—two police officers and a psychiatrist."
10."I tried to explain to a client why I couldn’t help him with a project that was written in a program code that I didn’t know. “Let’s say you’re asking me to write something in a specific language. Now, I’m fluent in English and Spanish, but your project is in Chinese. Since I don’t understand Chinese, I’m not your best option. You need someone who is fluent in this specific language. See?” He said he did and thanked me. The next morning, I got a call from another developer asking, “Why is your client asking us if we’re fluent in Chinese?
11.Whoever said that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results has obviously never had to reboot a computer
12.The cool part about naming your kid is you don’t have to add six numbers to make sure the name is available.
13.Any room is a panic room if you've lost your phone in it
14.I wish people were like Internet videos and you could tap them lightly to see a clock of how much longer they’re going to be talking.
15.Facebook should have a limit on times you can update your relationship status, after 3 it should default to 'unstable'.

Nice jokes op...

bamdly:


Copied.....

1.What is the biggest lie in the entire universe?
"I have read and agree to the Terms & Conditions."
2. I Renamed my iPod The Titanic, so when I plug it in, it says, “The Titanic is syncing.”
3. I was setting a voice recognition password for my new phone and a nearby dog barked and ran away. Now I am still looking for the dog to unlock my phone.
4.Where's the best place to hide a body?
Page two of Google Search.
5.Happy 3 week anniversary to the 26 browser tabs I have open."
6.Yesterday I decided to change my WiFi name to "Hack me if you can" and when I woke up this morning I saw the name changed to "Challenge accepted" somebody help."
7. Autocorrect has become my worst enema
8.Password looks at itself in the mirror:
"Don't listen to Google. You are a strong, confident password."
9.I’ve given up social media for the New Year and am trying to make friends outside Facebook while applying the same principles. Every day, I walk down the street and tell passersby what I’ve eaten, how I feel, what I did the night before, and what I will do tomorrow. Then I give them pictures of my family, my dog, and me gardening. I also listen to their conversations and tell them I love them. And it works. I already have three people following me—two police officers and a psychiatrist."
10."I tried to explain to a client why I couldn’t help him with a project that was written in a program code that I didn’t know. “Let’s say you’re asking me to write something in a specific language. Now, I’m fluent in English and Spanish, but your project is in Chinese. Since I don’t understand Chinese, I’m not your best option. You need someone who is fluent in this specific language. See?” He said he did and thanked me. The next morning, I got a call from another developer asking, “Why is your client asking us if we’re fluent in Chinese?
11.Whoever said that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results has obviously never had to reboot a computer
12.The cool part about naming your kid is you don’t have to add six numbers to make sure the name is available.
13.Any room is a panic room if you've lost your phone in it
14.I wish people were like Internet videos and you could tap them lightly to see a clock of how much longer they’re going to be talking.
15.Facebook should have a limit on times you can update your relationship status, after 3 it should default to 'unstable'.

you go fit buy my own Huawei mate 20 lite very clean i dey Lagos

Kimiso:
you go fit buy my own Huawei mate 20 lite very clean i dey Lagos

How much tho

bamdly:

How much tho

just 55k