Kobojunkie:
And I am telling you that the very same divorce process available in Nigeria to the rich among them is also available to the poor in the same Nigeria.

You say the man was already done with the woman the moment he saw her in the restaurant, but that means absolutely nothing. So long as he is married to her, she can file marriage abandonment charges against him and have divorce processed that way.

Choice to remain in marriage? According to the OP, the man abandoned the marriage and since it takes two to make a marriage, what rational is there in choosing to live as an abandoned spouse? These women ought to have had their divorce processed through the courts is what I posted there.

yuping:
your uncle don't tolerate nonsense, as long as he is happy with is decision let him be.

yuping:

Parent often hide under my children, the truth is if you are not mentally stable and happy you can't take care of kids. Peace of mind over everything, if you are causing pain to someone and expect the person to stay because of kid eventually the person is going to die young and still leave the kids behind. Peace of mind over everything jare.

Kobojunkie:
Obviously your uncle is the problem here.

The other issue is the women he keeps engaging aren't educated on their rights as individuals even in marriage. If the first and second wife had processed the divorce from him in the courts as it should be, your uncle may have been forced to tackle maturity since then.

yuping:
I think someone like this already tell tell his wives about all this and also keep his side of agreement before and after marriage if he will feels Like the agreement have been breach he let's go.

Ashirioluwa:
Our society and culture are forcing marriage on us without taking note that marriage is not for everyone.

Let your uncle enjoy his life

yuping:
your uncle don't tolerate nonsense, as long as he is happy with is decision let him be.

Walkee:
what's the point? The moment she left the husband's house and he told her family he's done with the marriage she ceased to be his wife and she could remarry if she wants. Marriages in Nigeria are 99% religious /traditional. You don't need legal proceedings to dissolve it unless you are looking for material benefits which you will never get.

Kobojunkie:
The statement in bold is not true even in the Nigerian sense of the word marriage, this because most every marriage is registered and so long as one does not file formal divorce papers, the couple remains married by law.

Even your 99% religious marriages are registered with the courts - there is a marriage registry where you register your marriage at even when you do traditional marriage.

Walkee:
none of my sisters that got married ever did any form of registry. In fact nobody I I know has ever done that. Once bride price is paid here in Edo state you are 100% fully married. Traditional wedding is the most important thing here most men will never even follow you to court. To do what exactly? Maybe in Abuja and Lagos where tradition is not clear and strong.
I agree if they have papers in court they need to tear it

Ayanwukoma:
The first wife he married didn't last a year he fired her, just because he saw her with another man at a restaurant eating.

the second wife, is presently in her father's house, because he says she doesn't listen to instructions, since 2012.

just this evening, a group of elder men from his third wife family came visiting my father to talk to his brother....I knew they must have been another issue...

so this left me asking is he the problem or his wives?

Kobojunkie:
That means your sister are ignorant of their right as individuals and citizens in the country. In the eyes of Nigerian law, none of your sisters are married. They are in cohabitation agreements with the men they call their husbands.

Think about what you just now claimed of your sisters. Should any of them be asked for proof of marriage, at a government facility or even a foreign government office, what proof will ant of them have to show? What document indeed shows them as married?

What that also means is that should your in-laws up and abandon any of your sisters - leaving them with children - to marry another, your sisters will be left helpless in such situations as they would be no better than baby mama's in the eyes of the law.

Kobojunkie:
That means your sister are ignorant of their right as individuals and citizens in the country. In the eyes of Nigerian law, none of your sisters are married. They are in cohabitation agreements with the men they call their husbands.

Think about what you just now claimed of your sisters. Should any of them be asked for proof of marriage, at a government facility or even a foreign government office, what proof will ant of them have to show? What document indeed shows them as married?

What that also means is that should your in-laws up and abandon any of your sisters - leaving them with children - to marry another, your sisters will be left helpless in such situations as they would be no better than baby mama's in the eyes of the law.

Walkee:
what law? Here in my state tradition comes first. Nobody I know here has done any form of registry. I saw the the registry in Esan central LGA it is fully bushy, I doubt anybody has stepped foot in that building since forever. None of them can be abandoned with children as men normally try to claim children here,

it's women who fight to keep the children. If you do court registery without doing traditional wedding you as single as hell, you won't even be allowed to burry your parents should they die unless you do traditional marriage. Once you have done your traditional wedding every institution regard you fully and legally wedded.

Kobojunkie:
You think there is no law ?

So because nobody you know understands their right and place as individuals and citizens, means you too should ñot seek out your rights as an individual and citizen of your state and country?

If the LGA registry is bushy, why not inquire as to the office where you should go instead, and this from the State government office?

Men normally try, so all the women abandoned by their men to raise their children on their own are what? Fitments of our collective imaginations?

It is obvious from your post that you are quite ignorant of the place of registering marriages in the courts, court marriages. So I suggest you get yourself educated on these things first before you post any further comments on the matter.

Kobojunkie:
You think there is no law ?

So because nobody you know understands their right and place as individuals and citizens, means you too should ñot seek out your rights as an individual and citizen of your state and country?

If the LGA registry is bushy, why not inquire as to the office where you should go instead, and this from the State government office?

Men normally try, so all the women abandoned by their men to raise their children on their own are what? Fitments of our collective imaginations?

It is obvious from your post that you are quite ignorant of the place of registering marriages in the courts, court marriages. So I suggest you get yourself educated on these things first before you post any further comments on the matter.

Walkee:
even if you did court marriage, a man that will abandon you with your children will still do it and there isn't much the court can do

Kobojunkie:
Wrong!

If your marriage is registered with the courts or you do court marriage, what the courts can do is make sure that in the case of divorce, the man is forced to pay his share of childcare.

Walkee:
the ones being forced to pay 5k? Majority of men claim the children belong to him and try to keep them the irresponsible ones are told to send paltry sum. Is this the big right you are hyping?

Kobojunkie:
Wrong!

If your marriage is registered with the courts or you do court marriage, what the courts can do is make sure that in the case of divorce, the man is forced to pay his share of childcare.

That is much better than being abandoned with absolutely nothing at all which is the fate many of our mothers and their mothers before them suffered when marriage crashed for them, leaving them with mouths to feed and nothing to feed them with.

Depending on how much the man makes and the woman makes, receiving N5000 a month is better than receiving nothing at all. That there is commonsense.

---

Please take time to educate yourself for the sake of the women in your life.

Walkee:
lol educate myself on what? Majority of men chase out their wives and keep the children, marry new wives which is where stories of maltreatment come in

Walkee:
lol educate myself on what? Majority of men chase out their wives and keep the children, marry new wives which is where stories of maltreatment come in.
The women who are chased out, whether they did registry or not get nothing so what rights are you talking about? In the West the man has to pay all sorts of support, here you get nothing so what exactly are you hyping?
If the union lasted 10 years with children, what would the court grant the woman?

Kobojunkie:
So, if one of your sisters were kicked out of her marriage and her children taken from her and maltreated by the other wives, you think that a better option than your sister leaving with her kids and having the courts make sure she is paid an allowance each month from her ex for their care?

Kobojunkie:
If you don't know how the courts arrive at the numbers they use in deciding the amount for childcare, ask..

Kobojunkie:
And I am telling you that the very same divorce process available in Nigeria to the rich among them is also available to the poor in the same Nigeria.

You say the man was already done with the woman the moment he saw her in the restaurant, but that means absolutely nothing. So long as he is married to her, she can file marriage abandonment charges against him and have divorce processed that way.

Choice to remain in marriage? According to the OP, the man abandoned the marriage and since it takes two to make a marriage, what rational is there in choosing to live as an abandoned spouse? These women ought to have had their divorce processed through the courts is what I posted there.

Kobojunkie:
If you don't know how the courts arrive at the numbers they use in deciding the amount for childcare, ask..

Walkee:
I meant if the union lasted 10 years without children what will the court grant the woman

Kobojunkie:
It's up the courts and based on the conditions of the union in question and the intelligence level of the individual in the marriage.
Also depends on the lawyer handling the divorce case.
Each marriage is different. In that same Nigeria, some women end up granted equal division of property even where no children are involved, whereas others walk away with nothing. Marriage is meant to be intelligently embarked on after all it is a sort of business agreement between a man and a woman.