I got married some months back and I am tired of it,I got married to a very beautiful and wonderful hardworking lady but the only problem I have here is when we have misunderstanding she uses absurd words at me ,sometimes nag and always play victim when it is always clear that she is the touchy type,and sometimes hit me even if I tried to leave the house.She drags me and push me.even hit me,I don’t hit her because just one of my blow will bend her! So I squeeze her hands sometimes to get freed.she even cries like I am the one hitting her.

Now what I do is to just observe and I don't think I would be interfering to anything that deals with her anymore..

Note : I clearly saw all this signs but the issue is when ever we settled then..she would keep promising that she won't do that anymore..

I am tired of everything.

Never marry a manipulative and toxic woman and to top it all abusive as well hian.She won't make a good mother at all and she will bring badluck to her kids with her attitude, that's how it works.My mother told me that any woman who has the best interest of her home and that of her kids at heart will never talk back at her husband for whatsoever reason(well I look her corner eye wen she said this sha),but your own dy hit you join hian. ubunja, Martinez39s, CaveAdullam, Luminouz, mjbolt you have a patient to attend to.

That woman will never give you peace of mind. The earlier you realize this, the better for your sanity.

You men keep falling for women with bad characters.it's obvious you saw the signs as you just stated,am sure her puxxy game was really good that's why you still got married to her.Do me a favour,wen next you wanna quarel again,try and hide the kitchen knives.I don't wanna open nairaland and start typing R.i.p to a mumu guy that was in love.

Trun:
I got married some months back and I am tired of it,I got married to a very beautiful and wonderful hardworking lady but the only problem I have here is when we have misunderstanding she uses absurd words at me ,sometimes nag and always play victim when it is always clear that she is the touchy type,and sometimes hit me even if I tried to leave the house.She drags me and push me.even hit me,I don’t hit her because just one of my blow will bend her! So I squeeze her hands sometimes to get freed.she even cries like I am the one hitting her.

Now what I do is to just observe and I don't think I would be interfering to anything that deals with her anymore..

Note : I clearly saw all this signs but the issue is when ever we settled then..she would keep promising that she won't do that anymore..

I am tired of everything.

U saw the signs clearly ..........carry ur cross or cary ambulance

Trun:
I got married some months back and I am tired of it,I got married to a very beautiful and wonderful hardworking lady but the only problem I have here is when we have misunderstanding she uses absurd words at me ,sometimes nag and always play victim when it is always clear that she is the touchy type,and sometimes hit me even if I tried to leave the house.She drags me and push me.even hit me,I don’t hit her because just one of my blow will bend her! So I squeeze her hands sometimes to get freed.she even cries like I am the one hitting her.

Now what I do is to just observe and I don't think I would be interfering to anything that deals with her anymore..

Note : I clearly saw all this signs but the issue is when ever we settled then..she would keep promising that she won't do that anymore..
I am tired of everything.

Since there is already violence in the marriage - from both parties - , I suggest you both set an appointment with a professional marriage counselor to help you both chart a best way forward for your relationship.

If you both decide to continue on together, I suggest you agree that she get anger/stress management therapy to help her better learn how to deal with conflict. You should probably both attend as a couple so you can be each other's support.

.

Another one.

Never, I repeat, Never ignore any signs.

InTheCloudySky:
Since she was like this before marriage, you knew what you were getting yourself into. If someone's verbally and physically abusing you repeatedly before marriage, you should know that's what you will experience in the marriage.

Yes... it's complicated

Kobojunkie:
Since there is already violence in the marriage - from both parties - , I suggest you both set an appointment with a professional marriage counselor to help you both chart a best way forward for your relationship.

I would make sure I do this

Thank God you have mum..she doesn't have

Iyaebe:
Never marry a manipulative and toxic woman and to top it all abusive as well hian.She won't make a good mother at all and she will bring badluck to her kids with her attitude, that's how it works.My mother told me that any woman who has the best interest of her home and that of her kids at heart will never talk back at her husband for whatsoever reason(well I look her corner eye wen she said this sha),but your own dy hit you join hian. ubunja, Martinez39s, CaveAdullam, Luminouz, mjbolt you have a patient to attend to.

U have nailed it very well...

After all your complaints you finally agreed that u witnessed all these troubles before hand and went ahead to marry her. I guessed u married her out of pity.

The only thing I see here is that,u hate yourself. If truly u like you who u are,I don't think u will commit this kind of blunder.
Remember,it is forever together both in bad times and in good times.

I'm glad you said you as the signs before marriage but you were manipulated to believe in her "change mantra" because of love.

You only have two options. It's either you divorce her or you live with it.

Trun:
I got married some months back and I am tired of it,I got married to a very beautiful and wonderful hardworking lady but the only problem I have here is when we have misunderstanding she uses absurd words at me ,sometimes nag and always play victim when it is always clear that she is the touchy type,and sometimes hit me even if I tried to leave the house.She drags me and push me.even hit me,I don’t hit her because just one of my blow will bend her! So I squeeze her hands sometimes to get freed.she even cries like I am the one hitting her.

Now what I do is to just observe and I don't think I would be interfering to anything that deals with her anymore..

Note : I clearly saw all this signs but the issue is when ever we settled then..she would keep promising that she won't do that anymore..

I am tired of everything.

It's a behavior she has developed over time to manipulate things

Keep reminding her that such attitude isn't pleasant to you and you will appreciate she changes her ways

If she is defiant about it, neglect that part of her and watch her spoil things for herself

If she confront you for your neglects, simply tell her that she doesn't take advice and she doesn't take correction

So the best way is to overlook her

Have you tried seeking professional help? Can you engage her more in discussion in your calm times to understand how you guys could be nice to one another? Please, being up the abuse and make her understand you do not appreciate it.

All these traits and characters get magnified in marriage. There's no place to hide. Any bad character you carry into marriage without working on, will definitely show up in a big way.

And the first year of marriage is quite tough for many. Because you are both trying to deal with differences in opinions, in culture, in habits, etc. Eventually you will learn to meet halfway.

But then, bad character can be toned down if the person makes a conscious effort to change.

Trun:

Note : I clearly saw all this signs but the issue is when ever we settled then..she would keep promising that she won't do that anymore..

I am tired of everything.

You cant give her some slaps to reset her habit yet.... wait till she start having kids.
if she continues like that, youll have to go to the extreme

Op it’s either you kill her in this marriage or she kills you. Never ever marry a manipulative woman cos they never change

I am atleast old enough to know that people don't change. If one is going into a marriage hoping that the partner will change a certain habit then that person is making the biggest mistake of his/her life

Same here. Tired of my marriage too. Its been hell from day one.

Wish I could find peace

Marriage is a big deal, I see no reason why you should be joking with dangerous signs that can be damaging to your future.

What if she gets angry one day and stab you to death or something

I can't blame you most men are been trained to try and manage a woman's excesses.

BigMoneyeye:


You cant give her some slaps to reset her habit yet.... wait till she start having kids.
if she continues like that, youll have to go to the extreme

You slap a violent woman who doesn’t back down? Think very well before you do. Weaker opponents use threat of repercussions to put fear in stronger opponents. Kind of saying “if you beat them, make sure you kill them because if you keep them alive, you made a mistake”.

OP is perhaps controlling, and married her for her beauty and entrepreneurship as compensation for her attitude, not knowing say “trouble de sleep e come wake am”