There was a man living in Victoria Island, Lagos. A thief came to his house one night and threatened to inject him with blood containing the HIV virus if he didn't drop all the money he collected from the bank the day before. The man: Are you going to leave me with the money if I allow you to inject me with the HIV virus? The Thief: I will not collect the money and I will leave you. On hearing this, he told the thief to give him 5 minutes and he went to the toilet. When he came back from the toilet, he asked the thief to inject him with the HIV virus. The thief injected him with the HIV virus and left immediately. Immediately the thief left, the wife became hysterical The Wife: What the hell did you just do? The Man: Don't mind the stupid thief, he doesn't know that I put on a condom the other time I went to the toilet.



Assertive Naija Woman: At the 1997 World Women's Conference the first speaker, from England, stood up: "At last year's conference we spoke about being more assertive with our husbands. Well, after the conference I went home and told my husband that I would no longer cook for him and that he would have to do it himself. After the first day I saw nothing. After the second day I saw nothing. But after the third day I saw that he had cooked a wonderful roast lamb." The crowd cheered. The second speaker, from America, stood up: "After last year's conference I went home and told my husband that I would no longer do his laundry and that he would have to do it himself. After the first day I saw nothing. After the second day I saw nothing. But after the third day I saw that he had done not only his own washing but my washing as well." The crowd cheered. The third speaker, from Nigeria, stood up: "After last year conference I go house and tell my husband that I no go do im cooking, cleaning or go market for am again, and dat he go dey do am imsef. After the first day i no see anytin. the second day sef, I see notin. But after the third day, as the swelling begin go down, I start to see small small from my left eye.



It is 6:00 AM, Wake Up!!" A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. The next week, the man realized that he would need his wife to wake him at 6:00 AM for an early morning business flight to Abuja. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (AND LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 6:00 AM. The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and that he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't woken him when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper read, "It is 6:00 AM. Wake Up."