Hi Nairalanders i really want to thank everyone here cos ever since i joined nairaland, i have been able to learn a lot thanks....
My neighbours always make jest of me maybe because i don't sit and gossip with them...normally i block my eardrums with my hands to stop me from listening...but now it has gotten too much,i went through a lot ever since i lost my dad...you can't imagine my pain it was hell.
Everyone left us,i kept seeing my mates in school...my dreams were shattered,i couldn't do anything cos my mum has a slight mental illness...i am the third child and i am 22 my elder sis had to go back to lagos to hustle and send for us...i gave my entire hope to God i prayed for help...my church pastor told me a man wanted to marry me...a soldier he has a daughter,he is a brother to a church member...i accepted cos i wanted to help my family.
Now...i never planned to be married,it is condition,i never enjoyed my mothers love,hmm...people commit sucide for a reason.
I am the shy type and i want this to stop..

Chosen44:
Now...i never planned to be married,it is condition,i never enjoyed my mothers love,hmm...people commit sucide for a reason.
I am the shy type and i want this to stop..

Can you please look over the following list and identify of you experience any of the listed.

---

■ Persistent sad, anxious, or “empty” mood
■ Feelings of hopelessness, or pessimism
Irritability
■ Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, or helplessness
■ Loss of interest or pleasure in hobbies and activities
■ Decreased energy or fatigue
■ Moving or talking more slowly
■ Feeling restless or having trouble sitting still
■ Difficulty concentrating, remembering, or making decisions
■ Difficulty sleeping, early-morning awakening, or oversleeping
■ Appetite and/or weight changes
■ Thoughts of death or suicide, or suicide attempts
■ Aches or pains, headaches, cramps, or digestive problems without a clear physical cause and/or that do not ease even with treatment

Kobojunkie:
Can you please look over the following list and identify of you experience any of the listed.

---

■ Persistent sad, anxious, or “empty” mood
■ Feelings of hopelessness, or pessimism
Irritability
■ Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, or helplessness
■ Loss of interest or pleasure in hobbies and activities
■ Decreased energy or fatigue
■ Moving or talking more slowly
■ Feeling restless or having trouble sitting still
■ Difficulty concentrating, remembering, or making decisions
■ Difficulty sleeping, early-morning awakening, or oversleeping
■ Appetite and/or weight changes
■ Thoughts of death or suicide, or suicide attempts
■ Aches or pains, headaches, cramps, or digestive problems without a clear physical cause and/or that do not ease even with treatment

want to diagnose her for mental illnesses? oh boy harsh oh...

kkins25:
want to diagnose her for mental illnesses? oh boy harsh oh...

Nothing harsh about digging down to find the true reason for her shyness.

Wow

Kobojunkie:
Can you please look over the following list and identify of you experience any of the listed.

---

■ Persistent sad, anxious, or “empty” mood
■ Feelings of hopelessness, or pessimism
Irritability
■ Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, or helplessness
■ Loss of interest or pleasure in hobbies and activities
■ Decreased energy or fatigue
■ Moving or talking more slowly
■ Feeling restless or having trouble sitting still
■ Difficulty concentrating, remembering, or making decisions
■ Difficulty sleeping, early-morning awakening, or oversleeping
■ Appetite and/or weight changes
■ Thoughts of death or suicide, or suicide attempts
■ Aches or pains, headaches, cramps, or digestive problems without a clear physical cause and/or that do not ease even with treatment

Just the worthless part,and restlessness... i enjoy my sleep and love reading books...headaches maybe because of thinking 2 much...i just don't like gossips and 2 much talks...are u a doctor?

Chosen44:
All of the above,are you a doctor?

All of the above ke? Please read through carefully. No, I am not a doctor but someone who in the past struggled with what I top initially thought of as shyness but later realized was not at all.

Kobojunkie:
Can you please look over the following list and identify of you experience any of the listed.

---

■ Persistent sad, anxious, or “empty” mood
■ Feelings of hopelessness, or pessimism
Irritability
■ Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, or helplessness
■ Loss of interest or pleasure in hobbies and activities
■ Decreased energy or fatigue
■ Moving or talking more slowly
■ Feeling restless or having trouble sitting still
■ Difficulty concentrating, remembering, or making decisions
■ Difficulty sleeping, early-morning awakening, or oversleeping
■ Appetite and/or weight changes
■ Thoughts of death or suicide, or suicide attempts
■ Aches or pains, headaches, cramps, or digestive problems without a clear physical cause and/or that do not ease even with treatment

1,8 and the last...maybe growing up as an introvert contributes...i love reading novels a lot...and my dream is to be more like Ben Carson but i guess all that is gone...now tell me what u think sir

Chosen44:
1,8 and the last...maybe growing up as an introvert contributes...i love reading novels a lot...and my dream is to be more like Ben Carson but i guess all that is gone...now tell me what u think sir

Introvertedness has absolutely nothing to do with depression, I am afraid. There are 100's of millions of introverts who don't struggle with clinical depression out there.

Did you mean only 3 out of all of the symptoms fit your situation?

What do you mean your dream is over? I mean you can start even now working to make your dream come true of your own if you want to.

Chosen44:
Hi Nairalanders i really want to thank everyone here cos ever since i joined nairaland, i have been able to learn a lot thanks....
My neighbours always make jest of me maybe because i don't sit and gossip with them...normally i block my eardrums with my hands to stop me from listening...but now it has gotten too much,i went through a lot ever since i lost my dad...you can't imagine my pain it was hell.
Everyone left us,i kept seeing my mates in school...my dreams were shattered,i couldn't do anything cos my mum has a slight mental illness...i am the third child and i am 22 my elder sis had to go back to lagos to hustle and send for us...i gave my entire hope to God i prayed for help...my church pastor told me a man wanted to marry me...a soldier he has a daughter,he is a brother to a church member...i accepted cos i wanted to help my family.
Now...i never planned to be married,it is condition,i never enjoyed my mothers love,hmm...people commit sucide for a reason.
I am the shy type and i want this to stop..

You need to keep yourself busy with something you love doing or something that makes you productive or impact people lives. It can help you feel good.

Shyness is not a death sentence. You can work on being more confident. What about your family? Try to reach out to them often if they are the supportive kind.

Just hang in there and take steps to change your situation.

ImaIma1:


You need to keep yourself busy with something you love doing or something that makes you productive or impact people lives. It can help you feel good.

Shyness is not a death sentence. You can work on being more confident. What about your family? Try to reach out to them often if they are the supportive kind.

Just hang in there and take steps to change your situation.

yes i am guilty of just 3,my mum condition was what moltivated me towards "the human brain"...i won't stop, now or never. My dad died trying but i will succeed...action speaks louder than voice so from today no more hiding...i won't end up like my mum,i will break free...thank u sir,thank you mr seun for this platform,thank you fellow nairalanders you are simply the best.
I will start from google to counselling...and i will learn to love and appreciate my self no matter what people say about me...i am lettin go of all the pain,regrets and feeling of worthlessness and abuse...stay blessed.

ImaIma1:


You need to keep yourself busy with something you love doing or something that makes you productive or impact people lives. It can help you feel good.

Shyness is not a death sentence. You can work on being more confident. What about your family? Try to reach out to them often if they are the supportive kind.

Just hang in there and take steps to change your situation.

What did u think hastened me to marriage?family! My aunt from my mum side made me a mockery...she said i will till peoples farm till i die...i will be under her son all my life....
I fried garri and milled banga,fetched firewood to eat from my dads side...My mum brother threw us out of his house cos we refused that my little sis should go to his house at abuja...beat up my mum and used cutlass on my kid bro...i slept in the bush, guy! with my mum and siblings...Pls don't remind me i must make it nobody go fit stop me....Thanks for the advice,i picked the points.

Chosen44:
yes i am guilty of just 3,my mum condition was what moltivated me towards "the human brain"...i won't stop, now or never. My dad died trying but i will succeed...action speaks louder than voice so from today no more hiding...i won't end up like my mum,i will break free...thank u sir,thank you mr seun for this platform,thank you fellow nairalanders you are simply the best.
I will start from google to counselling...and i will learn to love and appreciate my self no matter what people say about me...i am lettin go of all the pain,regrets and feeling of worthlessness and abuse...stay blessed.

Great! That's a better way to deal with the issues instead of feeling hopeless. All the best in your endeavours.

Chosen44:
yes i am guilty of just 3,my mum condition was what moltivated me towards "the human brain"...i won't stop, now or never. My dad died trying but i will succeed...action speaks louder than voice so from today no more hiding...i won't end up like my mum,i will break free...thank u sir,thank you mr seun for this platform,thank you fellow nairalanders you are simply the best.
I will start from google to counselling...and i will learn to love and appreciate my self no matter what people say about me...i am lettin go of all the pain,regrets and feeling of worthlessness and abuse...stay blessed.

You've been through a lot and it is only normal that you would have some scars. Being shy is because you fear being scrutinized, shamed, or judged.

You are incredibly strong and people with your beginning often succeed, and success comes from overcoming pain and trials.

Believe in yourself, take your time, run your own race and ignore the world. Use the internet to understand *mindfulness* because being present and avoiding over thinking will help you with anxiety.

YouTube has a world of videos on self development so watch them use the ones that make sense to you. Practice self love and be kind to yourself.

Double0h7:


You've been through a lot and it is only normal that you would have some scars. Being shy is because you fear being scrutinized, shamed, or judged.

You are incredibly strong and people with your beginning often succeed, and success comes from overcoming pain and trials.

Believe in yourself, take your time, run your own race and ignore the world. Use the internet to understand *mindfulness* because being present and avoiding over thinking will help you with anxiety.

YouTube has a world of videos on self development so watch them use the ones that make sense to you. Practice self love and be kind to yourself.

Thanks a lot i really appreciate,your points are noted down already.

I hope you're not being forced to get married to the soldier?


Secondly, he has a daughter but no wife. Have you tried to find how and why that happened? Please, before accepting and going ahead to marry the soldier, make sure he goes for HIV and other medical test. Many of them are exposed to different kind of things when they go for peace keeping in other countries. So, thorough health background check is a must before doing anything with him.

Lastly. At 22, you should be able to get something doing and be fending for yourself to avoid depending totally on your elder sister or some men who may want to take advantage of you.

It is well.

You are just 22 years old dont let a man call you useless or push you around because of your condition . stay strong dont go into marriage because you are broke or need financial help. Be wise ma soldier you on marry . please sit down. And reason well this is a advice i can give my sister am giving you .Don't go into marriage in that condition the man will end up useless you because he knows your condition . Please oh dont end up committing suicide after depression from marriage .
(1)He will have forceful sex with you
(2)he will use you
(3) if you say No ma problem

Don't you read news how northern ladies kill there husband because they where forceful married to a man they dont want all because of survival from poverty .


Please Go through my message and read very well over and over



And that your pastor no be better person
Tell him if he as a daughter he should give the soldier. Very wicked you are just 22 years there is still journey of survvial for you dont give up and push your self to marriage

I have noticed that my stepdaughter has been telling neighbours about my life,each time i send this 9 yr old she would take 2 hours...
We don't stay far from the market though... If i am around her she acts fine but when i leave she acts anyhow. Even to the extent people start talking, it will now look like i am bad in training her.
She monitors what i do! even the list of 2022 things i want God to do for me,i hid it in a safe place she took it when i wasn't around and read it. She would be sick, and won't tell me but will be acting sick...
She doesn't even talk at home,but an incident happened in her school,she said someone told her that she saw two of my neighbours kids having sex... For a month this child held it in her heart!! Before she told the boy in question. I was so shocked,the girl's mum wanted to take me to guardroom,till now we don't talk because of this...
I want to make her change, but she pretends a lot,i have tolerated enough for now!.
If you were me, what would you do?







This was your first post are you deceiving people here or what .na you no

So this is what the daughter is putting you through
You are 22 years old thinking of marriage
God help you because if at your young age before 30 you gave birth to 3 or 2 and the guy mess up . you will feel the real shyness and depressing when men push you around Becausr you are after 2 or 3
You better have sense stay focus go and and learn better work to keep you busy instead of thinking of marriage at this your age

Sammy101111:
I have noticed that my stepdaughter has been telling neighbours about my life,each time i send this 9 yr old she would take 2 hours...
We don't stay far from the market though... If i am around her she acts fine but when i leave she acts anyhow. Even to the extent people start talking, it will now look like i am bad in training her.
She monitors what i do! even the list of 2022 things i want God to do for me,i hid it in a safe place she took it when i wasn't around and read it. She would be sick, and won't tell me but will be acting sick...
She doesn't even talk at home,but an incident happened in her school,she said someone told her that she saw two of my neighbours kids having sex... For a month this child held it in her heart!! Before she told the boy in question. I was so shocked,the girl's mum wanted to take me to guardroom,till now we don't talk because of this...
I want to make her change, but she pretends a lot,i have tolerated enough for now!.
If you were me, what would you do?







This was your first post are you deceiving people here or what .na you no

So this is what the daughter is putting you through
You are 22 years old thinking of marriage
God help you because if at your young age before 30 you gave birth to 3 or 2 and the guy mess up . you will feel the real shyness and depressing when men push you around Becausr you are after 2 or 3
You better have sense stay focus go and and learn better work to keep you busy instead of thinking of marriage at this your age

Are you reading what all of us here are reading? abi, its me who's delusional?