When I got the news that I was expecting my first child, I was overwhelmed and made sure I ticked all the boxes right – shopping, antenatal, praying, eating rightly-reading my Bible and other educational materials on pregnancy and babies, listening and adhering to some old wives rules,-ensuring the arrival of my baby was all perfect, filled with fond memories to cherish forever.

My partner and I talked about his arrival; I would reminisce and imagined how sweet and loving I would feel when I hold him in my hands. I have bonded well with my baby while he was in the womb so I expected more bonding when he arrives!

While ticking these boxes, no one told me that I might not love the baby when he arrives. After all, no one expects you not to love your child.
I didn’t bond right away with my child and I was scared of showing it for fear of what people might think of me. And I think that’s a bigger problem that compounded my inner battles.
As with every mother, I wanted to be a perfect and well-deserving mother.
This lingered for a very long time- about three months and, still, I kept this to myself.
I noticed some gradual change in how I began to feel about my baby, taking some steps of my own accord even though I didn’t understand what I was doing was a process for my healing.
I would also come to know that this was a common feeling among women we just don’t talk about it.
Using myself as a measure, I found culpable reasons why mothers might not bond with their newborns right after birth even up to a couple of months.
Possible Causes of not loving your baby Right Away

Being too overwhelmed before the baby comes

It is totally normal to feel so excited when expecting your baby, especially if it is the first.
Humans tend to lose some amount of excitement when we expect something with much enthusiasm.
We expel so much energy in expectation that when the real deal comes, we feel depleted. And search for that level of enthusiasm we use in expecting which we might never get.

Exhaustion
All that you did in preparation for the birth of the baby wears you out – the shopping, hospital visit , keeping up with work or school- not to mention the big labour pains, the waiting, the gnashing, the stretch and the stress on the body leave us weak and tired.

Method of Delivery
Women who were delivered through a c-session are more likely to take longer time bonding with their babies than women who had virginal delivery. This is because a c –session delivery requires a longer time to heal.
Although this is not always the case; a mentally ready woman can go on to bond with her newborn right away irrespective of the method of delivery, likewise a woman who had a ‘normal’ delivery can still have a hard time bonding.

Postpartum depression
This is the number one reason why women do not bond with their newborns right away. Postpartum depression – a feeling of sadness, hopelessness, emptiness, despair or dejection after delivery – could lead to a mother not having affection for the newborn, consequently not bonding with her child.
Some severe cases have been recorded on such women refusing to care, nurture or nourish their newborns. Worse still, some reports mention how a depressed mother killed her newborn.
When this happens to you or someone you know please seek professional help. Keeping quiet prolong the adverse effect both on the mother and the child.

Severed relationship with your spouse

Unsupportive spouse during pregnancy and after childbirth could be a probable cause why a mother finds it hard to bond with her baby. This could be as a result of transferred aggressions or mental unstableness.

Trouble with Finance

The fear of not having enough to carter for the family can make a mother detached from her baby.

Having so many visitors around after childbirth

Africans have an age-long culture of receiving visitors –family and friends after the arrival of a new baby. But these can put a strain on the mother, wearing her out and zapping her energy which is already low.
Lastly, having someone else do all the caring
Except on health grounds, Having another person do the caring- bathing, dressing, changing, feeding putting to bed – for your newborn for so long can deny you the chance of bonding with your child.

Preventive & possible treatments when you don’t bond with your newborn right away

Consider getting enough rest before the arrival of the baby. Resist trying out every advice and suggestions you get except those from your doctor or midwife.

Use simple shopping techniques. I prefer and use making a list, make budget save for it, then I set a day apart to buy all I need and that’s it. No going back and forth to shop for baby and maternity items.

While expecting your baby, try as much as possible to get your finance right. Spend on budget and save towards the arrival of your child as you need to be fine with your finances to be in the right frame of mind after delivery.


As much as you can, be at peace with yourself and guard your mental health. If you have an unsupportive partner, look for someone else to lean on for emotional support. Trust me you will need it. Never go through pregnancy alone. Your mother, a friend, sister or even that trusted colleague can be handy and that will do a whole lot to your mental healthiness.


Discuss with your doctor or midwife to know the delivery method you are likely to have and plan for an emergency.
I think one of the reasons I didn’t bond with my newborn was, even though I knew I might be having a c-session because my obstetrician had suggested it due to my medical history, I was in denial and didn’t make any preparation. I ended up having an emergency c-session and for grace, I would have lost my baby. All of these already got me perturbed.


After delivery, reduce your visitors only to a few family and friends. You can ask your doctor to help in this stance, not allowing so many visitors into your ward.
When home attends only to few visitors. Tell your partner or whoever is with you to receive and inform the visitors that you appreciate them reaching out, but you would love to rest. People usually understood and rarely take offence. So don’t be worried.
As soon as you are back on your feet, care for your newborn by yourself and ask for help when exhausted.


Stay longer in bed with your baby during the day; it is a relaxing and quick way to bond. You can return the baby to the cot for night bedtime.
Speak up and seek professional help if you are showing signs of postpartum depression.
Talk to your partner about it, a trusted alley or reach out to us at raising godly seeds.
We wish you a happy bonding with your newborn.
Have you experienced that feeling of being distant from your newborn? Please, tell us your story.

https://raisinggodlyseeds.com/?p=62

[
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2aeA_LM8S-Q author=Raisinggodlysee post=110915050]
When I got the news that I was expecting my first child, I was overwhelmed and made sure I ticked all the boxes right – shopping, antenatal, praying, eating rightly-reading my Bible and other educational materials on pregnancy and babies, listening and adhering to some old wives rules,-ensuring the arrival of my baby was all perfect, filled with fond memories to cherish forever.

My partner and I talked about his arrival; I would reminisce and imagined how sweet and loving I would feel when I hold him in my hands. I have bonded well with my baby while he was in the womb so I expected more bonding when he arrives!

While ticking these boxes, no one told me that I might not love the baby when he arrives. After all, no one expects you not to love your child.
I didn’t bond right away with my child and I was scared of showing it for fear of what people might think of me. And I think that’s a bigger problem that compounded my inner battles.
As with every mother, I wanted to be a perfect and well-deserving mother.
This lingered for a very long time- about three months and, still, I kept this to myself.
I noticed some gradual change in how I began to feel about my baby, taking some steps of my own accord even though I didn’t understand what I was doing was a process for my healing.
I would also come to know that this was a common feeling among women we just don’t talk about it.
Using myself as a measure, I found culpable reasons why mothers might not bond with their newborns right after birth even up to a couple of months.
Possible Causes of not loving your baby Right Away

Being too overwhelmed before the baby comes

It is totally normal to feel so excited when expecting your baby, especially if it is the first.
Humans tend to lose some amount of excitement when we expect something with much enthusiasm.
We expel so much energy in expectation that when the real deal comes, we feel depleted. And search for that level of enthusiasm we use in expecting which we might never get.

Exhaustion
All that you did in preparation for the birth of the baby wears you out – the shopping, hospital visit , keeping up with work or school- not to mention the big labour pains, the waiting, the gnashing, the stretch and the stress on the body leave us weak and tired.

Method of Delivery
Women who were delivered through a c-session are more likely to take longer time bonding with their babies than women who had virginal delivery. This is because a c –session delivery requires a longer time to heal.
Although this is not always the case; a mentally ready woman can go on to bond with her newborn right away irrespective of the method of delivery, likewise a woman who had a ‘normal’ delivery can still have a hard time bonding.

Postpartum depression
This is the number one reason why women do not bond with their newborns right away. Postpartum depression – a feeling of sadness, hopelessness, emptiness, despair or dejection after delivery – could lead to a mother not having affection for the newborn, consequently not bonding with her child.
Some severe cases have been recorded on such women refusing to care, nurture or nourish their newborns. Worse still, some reports mention how a depressed mother killed her newborn.
When this happens to you or someone you know please seek professional help. Keeping quiet prolong the adverse effect both on the mother and the child.

Severed relationship with your spouse

Unsupportive spouse during pregnancy and after childbirth could be a probable cause why a mother finds it hard to bond with her baby. This could be as a result of transferred aggressions or mental unstableness.

Trouble with Finance

The fear of not having enough to carter for the family can make a mother detached from her baby.

Having so many visitors around after childbirth

Africans have an age-long culture of receiving visitors –family and friends after the arrival of a new baby. But these can put a strain on the mother, wearing her out and zapping her energy which is already low.
Lastly, having someone else do all the caring
Except on health grounds, Having another person do the caring- bathing, dressing, changing, feeding putting to bed – for your newborn for so long can deny you the chance of bonding with your child.

Preventive & possible treatments when you don’t bond with your newborn right away

Consider getting enough rest before the arrival of the baby. Resist trying out every advice and suggestions you get except those from your doctor or midwife.

Use simple shopping techniques. I prefer and use making a list, make budget save for it, then I set a day apart to buy all I need and that’s it. No going back and forth to shop for baby and maternity items.

While expecting your baby, try as much as possible to get your finance right. Spend on budget and save towards the arrival of your child as you need to be fine with your finances to be in the right frame of mind after delivery.


As much as you can, be at peace with yourself and guard your mental health. If you have an unsupportive partner, look for someone else to lean on for emotional support. Trust me you will need it. Never go through pregnancy alone. Your mother, a friend, sister or even that trusted colleague can be handy and that will do a whole lot to your mental healthiness.


Discuss with your doctor or midwife to know the delivery method you are likely to have and plan for an emergency.
I think one of the reasons I didn’t bond with my newborn was, even though I knew I might be having a c-session because my obstetrician had suggested it due to my medical history, I was in denial and didn’t make any preparation. I ended up having an emergency c-session and for grace, I would have lost my baby. All of these already got me perturbed.


After delivery, reduce your visitors only to a few family and friends. You can ask your doctor to help in this stance, not allowing so many visitors into your ward.
When home attends only to few visitors. Tell your partner or whoever is with you to receive and inform the visitors that you appreciate them reaching out, but you would love to rest. People usually understood and rarely take offence. So don’t be worried.
As soon as you are back on your feet, care for your newborn by yourself and ask for help when exhausted.


Stay longer in bed with your baby during the day; it is a relaxing and quick way to bond. You can return the baby to the cot for night bedtime.
Speak up and seek professional help if you are showing signs of postpartum depression.
Talk to your partner about it, a trusted alley or reach out to us at raising godly seeds.
We wish you a happy bonding with your newborn.
Have you experienced that feeling of being distant from your newborn? Please, tell us your story.

https://raisinggodlyseeds.com/?p=62[/quote]

[
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2aeA_LM8S-Q author=FatimaAbbas post=119083212][
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2aeA_LM8S-Q author=Raisinggodlysee post=110915050]
When I got the news that I was expecting my first child, I was overwhelmed and made sure I ticked all the boxes right – shopping, antenatal, praying, eating rightly-reading my Bible and other educational materials on pregnancy and babies, listening and adhering to some old wives rules,-ensuring the arrival of my baby was all perfect, filled with fond memories to cherish forever.

My partner and I talked about his arrival; I would reminisce and imagined how sweet and loving I would feel when I hold him in my hands. I have bonded well with my baby while he was in the womb so I expected more bonding when he arrives!

While ticking these boxes, no one told me that I might not love the baby when he arrives. After all, no one expects you not to love your child.
I didn’t bond right away with my child and I was scared of showing it for fear of what people might think of me. And I think that’s a bigger problem that compounded my inner battles.
As with every mother, I wanted to be a perfect and well-deserving mother.
This lingered for a very long time- about three months and, still, I kept this to myself.
I noticed some gradual change in how I began to feel about my baby, taking some steps of my own accord even though I didn’t understand what I was doing was a process for my healing.
I would also come to know that this was a common feeling among women we just don’t talk about it.
Using myself as a measure, I found culpable reasons why mothers might not bond with their newborns right after birth even up to a couple of months.
Possible Causes of not loving your baby Right Away

Being too overwhelmed before the baby comes

It is totally normal to feel so excited when expecting your baby, especially if it is the first.
Humans tend to lose some amount of excitement when we expect something with much enthusiasm.
We expel so much energy in expectation that when the real deal comes, we feel depleted. And search for that level of enthusiasm we use in expecting which we might never get.

Exhaustion
All that you did in preparation for the birth of the baby wears you out – the shopping, hospital visit , keeping up with work or school- not to mention the big labour pains, the waiting, the gnashing, the stretch and the stress on the body leave us weak and tired.

Method of Delivery
Women who were delivered through a c-session are more likely to take longer time bonding with their babies than women who had virginal delivery. This is because a c –session delivery requires a longer time to heal.
Although this is not always the case; a mentally ready woman can go on to bond with her newborn right away irrespective of the method of delivery, likewise a woman who had a ‘normal’ delivery can still have a hard time bonding.

Postpartum depression
This is the number one reason why women do not bond with their newborns right away. Postpartum depression – a feeling of sadness, hopelessness, emptiness, despair or dejection after delivery – could lead to a mother not having affection for the newborn, consequently not bonding with her child.
Some severe cases have been recorded on such women refusing to care, nurture or nourish their newborns. Worse still, some reports mention how a depressed mother killed her newborn.
When this happens to you or someone you know please seek professional help. Keeping quiet prolong the adverse effect both on the mother and the child.

Severed relationship with your spouse

Unsupportive spouse during pregnancy and after childbirth could be a probable cause why a mother finds it hard to bond with her baby. This could be as a result of transferred aggressions or mental unstableness.

Trouble with Finance

The fear of not having enough to carter for the family can make a mother detached from her baby.

Having so many visitors around after childbirth

Africans have an age-long culture of receiving visitors –family and friends after the arrival of a new baby. But these can put a strain on the mother, wearing her out and zapping her energy which is already low.
Lastly, having someone else do all the caring
Except on health grounds, Having another person do the caring- bathing, dressing, changing, feeding putting to bed – for your newborn for so long can deny you the chance of bonding with your child.

Preventive & possible treatments when you don’t bond with your newborn right away

Consider getting enough rest before the arrival of the baby. Resist trying out every advice and suggestions you get except those from your doctor or midwife.

Use simple shopping techniques. I prefer and use making a list, make budget save for it, then I set a day apart to buy all I need and that’s it. No going back and forth to shop for baby and maternity items.

While expecting your baby, try as much as possible to get your finance right. Spend on budget and save towards the arrival of your child as you need to be fine with your finances to be in the right frame of mind after delivery.


As much as you can, be at peace with yourself and guard your mental health. If you have an unsupportive partner, look for someone else to lean on for emotional support. Trust me you will need it. Never go through pregnancy alone. Your mother, a friend, sister or even that trusted colleague can be handy and that will do a whole lot to your mental healthiness.


Discuss with your doctor or midwife to know the delivery method you are likely to have and plan for an emergency.
I think one of the reasons I didn’t bond with my newborn was, even though I knew I might be having a c-session because my obstetrician had suggested it due to my medical history, I was in denial and didn’t make any preparation. I ended up having an emergency c-session and for grace, I would have lost my baby. All of these already got me perturbed.


After delivery, reduce your visitors only to a few family and friends. You can ask your doctor to help in this stance, not allowing so many visitors into your ward.
When home attends only to few visitors. Tell your partner or whoever is with you to receive and inform the visitors that you appreciate them reaching out, but you would love to rest. People usually understood and rarely take offence. So don’t be worried.
As soon as you are back on your feet, care for your newborn by yourself and ask for help when exhausted.


Stay longer in bed with your baby during the day; it is a relaxing and quick way to bond. You can return the baby to the cot for night bedtime.
Speak up and seek professional help if you are showing signs of postpartum depression.
Talk to your partner about it, a trusted alley or reach out to us at raising godly seeds.
We wish you a happy bonding with your newborn.
Have you experienced that feeling of being distant from your newborn? Please, tell us your story.

https://raisinggodlyseeds.com/?p=62[/quote]

[
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2aeA_LM8S-Q
author=FatimaAbbas post=119083212][
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2aeA_LM8S-Q author=Raisinggodlysee post=110915050]
When I got the news that I was expecting my first child, I was overwhelmed and made sure I ticked all the boxes right – shopping, antenatal, praying, eating rightly-reading my Bible and other educational materials on pregnancy and babies, listening and adhering to some old wives rules,-ensuring the arrival of my baby was all perfect, filled with fond memories to cherish forever.

My partner and I talked about his arrival; I would reminisce and imagined how sweet and loving I would feel when I hold him in my hands. I have bonded well with my baby while he was in the womb so I expected more bonding when he arrives!

While ticking these boxes, no one told me that I might not love the baby when he arrives. After all, no one expects you not to love your child.
I didn’t bond right away with my child and I was scared of showing it for fear of what people might think of me. And I think that’s a bigger problem that compounded my inner battles.
As with every mother, I wanted to be a perfect and well-deserving mother.
This lingered for a very long time- about three months and, still, I kept this to myself.
I noticed some gradual change in how I began to feel about my baby, taking some steps of my own accord even though I didn’t understand what I was doing was a process for my healing.
I would also come to know that this was a common feeling among women we just don’t talk about it.
Using myself as a measure, I found culpable reasons why mothers might not bond with their newborns right after birth even up to a couple of months.
Possible Causes of not loving your baby Right Away

Being too overwhelmed before the baby comes

It is totally normal to feel so excited when expecting your baby, especially if it is the first.
Humans tend to lose some amount of excitement when we expect something with much enthusiasm.
We expel so much energy in expectation that when the real deal comes, we feel depleted. And search for that level of enthusiasm we use in expecting which we might never get.

Exhaustion
All that you did in preparation for the birth of the baby wears you out – the shopping, hospital visit , keeping up with work or school- not to mention the big labour pains, the waiting, the gnashing, the stretch and the stress on the body leave us weak and tired.

Method of Delivery
Women who were delivered through a c-session are more likely to take longer time bonding with their babies than women who had virginal delivery. This is because a c –session delivery requires a longer time to heal.
Although this is not always the case; a mentally ready woman can go on to bond with her newborn right away irrespective of the method of delivery, likewise a woman who had a ‘normal’ delivery can still have a hard time bonding.

Postpartum depression
This is the number one reason why women do not bond with their newborns right away. Postpartum depression – a feeling of sadness, hopelessness, emptiness, despair or dejection after delivery – could lead to a mother not having affection for the newborn, consequently not bonding with her child.
Some severe cases have been recorded on such women refusing to care, nurture or nourish their newborns. Worse still, some reports mention how a depressed mother killed her newborn.
When this happens to you or someone you know please seek professional help. Keeping quiet prolong the adverse effect both on the mother and the child.

Severed relationship with your spouse

Unsupportive spouse during pregnancy and after childbirth could be a probable cause why a mother finds it hard to bond with her baby. This could be as a result of transferred aggressions or mental unstableness.

Trouble with Finance

The fear of not having enough to carter for the family can make a mother detached from her baby.

Having so many visitors around after childbirth

Africans have an age-long culture of receiving visitors –family and friends after the arrival of a new baby. But these can put a strain on the mother, wearing her out and zapping her energy which is already low.
Lastly, having someone else do all the caring
Except on health grounds, Having another person do the caring- bathing, dressing, changing, feeding putting to bed – for your newborn for so long can deny you the chance of bonding with your child.

Preventive & possible treatments when you don’t bond with your newborn right away

Consider getting enough rest before the arrival of the baby. Resist trying out every advice and suggestions you get except those from your doctor or midwife.

Use simple shopping techniques. I prefer and use making a list, make budget save for it, then I set a day apart to buy all I need and that’s it. No going back and forth to shop for baby and maternity items.

While expecting your baby, try as much as possible to get your finance right. Spend on budget and save towards the arrival of your child as you need to be fine with your finances to be in the right frame of mind after delivery.


As much as you can, be at peace with yourself and guard your mental health. If you have an unsupportive partner, look for someone else to lean on for emotional support. Trust me you will need it. Never go through pregnancy alone. Your mother, a friend, sister or even that trusted colleague can be handy and that will do a whole lot to your mental healthiness.


Discuss with your doctor or midwife to know the delivery method you are likely to have and plan for an emergency.
I think one of the reasons I didn’t bond with my newborn was, even though I knew I might be having a c-session because my obstetrician had suggested it due to my medical history, I was in denial and didn’t make any preparation. I ended up having an emergency c-session and for grace, I would have lost my baby. All of these already got me perturbed.


After delivery, reduce your visitors only to a few family and friends. You can ask your doctor to help in this stance, not allowing so many visitors into your ward.
When home attends only to few visitors. Tell your partner or whoever is with you to receive and inform the visitors that you appreciate them reaching out, but you would love to rest. People usually understood and rarely take offence. So don’t be worried.
As soon as you are back on your feet, care for your newborn by yourself and ask for help when exhausted.


Stay longer in bed with your baby during the day; it is a relaxing and quick way to bond. You can return the baby to the cot for night bedtime.
Speak up and seek professional help if you are showing signs of postpartum depression.
Talk to your partner about it, a trusted alley or reach out to us at raising godly seeds.
We wish you a happy bonding with your newborn.
Have you experienced that feeling of being distant from your newborn? Please, tell us your story.

https://raisinggodlyseeds.com/?p=62[/quote]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2aeA_LM8S-Q

Staying longer time during the day with the Baby kee
So that the Baby will over bond with you and be doing gummy gummy, carry me carry me within two months, aahh ese ooo.