Well, My honest opinion is, giving the right opportunity both parties will cheat on each other.

Lemme site my own case for instance, officially I've not cheated on my wife since we started dating (3yrs+) but of l8 I've rily been giving it a deep thot if my doing so is worth it anyway. because of her past experiences she thinks its impossible for a man not to cheat as if we were made like that from the factory. To her now, she believes I'm only a smooth operator with coded padded ways. Her mindset is such that even if I fall for that kind of temptation now, she'll say she suspected all along, forgetting times when I'll be at friend's parties and homes and there'll be takeaways or films to involve in and I just smile and walk away.

So  I ask myself if my commitment is worth it afterall, its d L♥√ع I have for her that has kept me going.

Another area we should look into is that of women seeing men who because of commitment or marriage as being weak. 3 out of 5 of my married peeps have the same thing to say. Women just claim they want the "loving type", they actually don't. They seem not to know what they want, they secretly have a major crush on the "bad guys". And this is the way women operate; they stop or slow ur drinking habits, reduce ur hanging out with ur main men, strain ur relationship with them and L♥√ع to call d shots. Then they see u as another dummy and they want excitement again, someone to keep their calls waiting, ignoring them, the outgoing type etc. The same man u were b4 u started d relationship is what they'll now be looking for. And women should stop changing when they're in already or almost in, stuffs like being too sexually active that was never a problem now becomes one. I like to corner my woman anywhere I meet her in d house, kitchen, garage, gen house, lol, wherever. U'll hear about it if I now get married and she stops cos I'm suspecting it. I'll then use d 50/50, phone a ex or ask you the NL audience.

Men just like varieties that's all I can say. U see the models n brands of ladies we now have everyday V6 engines, double exhaust etc, lol and thanks to dem jergins or whatever they call that next to skin leggins now. While driving I see some and I'm like damn, this will require some gyming buh seriously that's d way we are. B4 I was all abt hw a woman's frontage was buh ryt now I dnt care, if d backside is loaded dats all. Buh that's just thoughts u get, I discipline myself and tell myself that oga, do u want to prove the madam at home is ryt afterall, then I trash those thoughts.

One more secret, men are d beta lovers. Accept it or don't. If a woman gives us enough reasons not to cheat we won't. My wife doesn't even believe in the 100% kinda man buh I still haven't cheated on her yet and don't plan too.

@OP - Interesting topic,

Cheating is not only limited to the s.exual act itself.

If a man doesn't sleep around, but has an emotional connection with another woman, would a wife be ok with that, since the man is not "cheating"?

If a man finds an intellectual connection with another woman that his wife can't provide, is the man cheating? will the wife accept that?

If you look at it that way, everyone who has ever fantasized about another woman or man, has cheated. I believe Jesus Christ said if you look lustfully at a woman, you have already committed f.ornication,or adultery (cheated) as the case may be.

If there are texts on your phone from another woman or another man that you would be afraid to allow your spouse see because of what the content implies about your relationship with that person, then you're already cheating.

Everyone saying they have been faithful to their spouses can only claim so if they do not

1. Deliberately dwell on s.exual fantasies with other people in their minds.

2. Maintain emotional outlets in other people apart from their spouse.

LOL what would i say i would love to be among the few but i hope its not late but come to think of it its not easy to escape the temptation of lady imagining i ask some not to call me after 6pm cos am married and they still try to simply because they want you and i say i belong to someone and when you wife get those she accused you of cheating tell me is it a crime to give your number of even if you are not interested in the lady and never even wanna have sex with her but she keep bugging you and keep insisting that if its just once she wont mind i believe it take the grace of God to remain faithful this day even men of God that preaches that in church cannot be left out

Real men cheat.

It seems we have forgotten about "basic instinct". Human beings by nature are prone to all animalistic behaviours which include but not limited to having multiple sexual partners. Civilisation has played its part in killing this nature in us. The urge to try another partner will always be there either consciously or unconsciously. It only takes the civility in us and the sense of commitment to dispel the urge. The tendency is there for human beings to cheat and many of us will take a go at it if we are pressed beyond acceptable limit.

Just as some people have been saying, it is the society that defines what is norm, if nothing is defined, we will all be in it and the battle to have multiple partners will always go down to the survival of the fittest.

Though I have never cheated, but I pray I don't fall into a comfort zone that will give me the green light to cheat.

It's human nature to always want more.Some people's shoe room have more shelves than Walmart,their wardrobe nko,they want a new cloth every other day.They'd want their garages brimming with top of the range cars & yet say the longing to have more is unnatural   Even the strongest of men have fallen for the  wiles of the so called 'weaker sex';Samson,David (whom God referred to as 'a man after my own heart') Solomon,etc talk less of lesser mortals that dwell in this day & age.
That does not in any way justify infidelity but it is nonsensical to say it is unnatural

@omadapson, GO ON 'IF' ITS IN YOU!
But ko dara sa!

ememoluwa:

I was very active sexually when I was single. Could Be Intimate with a lady, the moment she's living my place, am calling up another lady for another round of sex. There were scenes of ladies meeting themselves in my place hence resulting to cat fights. But what do I do in such situation, I call up the next girl and we meet somewhere cosy for sex. I love it.
But I always thought that the moment I get married, I will do away with the attitude.
Now am married to this angel, but I still cant help myself. I still call up my old girlfriends for sex. I tell my wife am going for a business trip  and I take a lady to some hotel and we'll have marathon sex for the whole of that period. I dont get home until after 11pm each day because I have to spend at least 2-3 hours with any of my numerous girls.
This is affecting my marraige but I cant seem to say no sometimes when these ladies call. My relationship right now with my wife is strained, because she has put 2 and 2 together.
Infact, all through the rains on sunday, I was in the arms of another woman.   Went back home after 12 midnight.

Maybe what I need is spiritual cleansing.

HELP

95% of the men out there are going through the same vibe. . . . .you are very normal and any sort of spiritual cleansing will turn you to a vegetable.

dollypi:

Cheating is not only limited to the s.exual act itself.

If a man doesn't sleep around, but has an emotional connection with another woman, would a wife be ok with that, since the man is not "cheating"?

If a man finds an intellectual connection with another woman that his wife can't provide, is the man cheating? will the wife accept that?

If you look at it that way, everyone who has ever fantasized about another woman or man, has cheated. I believe Jesus Christ said if you look lustfully at a woman, you have already committed f.ornication,or adultery (cheated) as the case may be.

If there are texts on your phone from another woman or another man that you would be afraid to allow your spouse see because of what the content implies about your relationship with that person, then you're already cheating.

Everyone saying they have been faithful to their spouses can only claim so if they do not

1.  Deliberately dwell on s.exual fantasies with other people in their minds.

2.  Maintain emotional outlets in other people apart from their spouse.

very intelligent post. . . . .the fact is a whole lot of men deceive themselves when it comes to this topic. many are living in self-denial they haven't cheated and yet they send ridiculous flirtatious texts/chat with numerous girls online and then tell themselves since they have not busted their nuts then they haven't cheated. truth is. . . . all men(married or single) are cheats!

Interesting thread

coogar:

95% of the men out there are going through the same vibe. . . . .you are very normal and any sort of spiritual cleansing will turn you to a vegetable.

very intelligent post. . . . .the fact is a whole lot of men deceive themselves when it comes to this topic. many are living in self-denial they haven't cheated and yet they send ridiculous flirtatious texts/chat with numerous girls online and then tell themselves since they have not busted their nuts then they haven't cheated. truth is. . . . all men(married or single) are cheats!

Or are inclined to cheat

Real Men don't cheat!
As a matter of fact am 6 yrs into the
my marriage but i never cheat my wife
4 once.
Temptations due come but thank God 4
the presence of Holy Spirit.
'That has been my secret to overcoming all
sorts of temptations.

Am sure som1 out there, especially
the doubting Thomases like d few earlier posters
will b saying am lying.
Well, no human being can bear me witness but
my conscience does.

I've concluded in my heart b4 going into marriage
that satisfaction in marriage and in life
generally is not out there,
in fact, its not going to be gotten anywhere,
U HAVE TO MAKE IT HAPPEN - QED!

Afterall, what are the reasons for marriage?
- Its God's idea
- 2 are better than 1 cos they have better reward 4 their labour
- sex (sex is either fornication or adultery outside marriage )
- u can only multiply/have children legally in marriage
- for comfort, etc.

If u're stil cheating on ur spouse, pls stop it,
Nemesis will catch up with u or ur children or even ur grand-children
or even ur generation and u knw what,
The repercusion is hurrible, Do leave a good LEGACY.

What u want in another woman, make it happen to ur wife so
She can attract u, send her out to participate in alot os activities,
take her out to functions, Behind her up to ur taste,
Those so called babes don't just drop from d sky.

The wife of ur youth can stil happen men!

U can make greatness common if only u can be faithfull in marriage!
It has worked 4 me, its stil working and will continue to work as The Lord Liveth.

Goodluck to u all.

No, not all men will cheat. It all depends on the respect one places on ones marriage

The general reasoning of most people is that every guy cheats. A larger percentage of this group of people reason like this because they cheat themselves or have been cheated on while the remaining form their opinion because of what they have seen or heard. I, personally, do not cheat and therefore hold the view that not all men cheat. Though this feat has not been easy because I face a lot of tempatations everyday. It becomes more difficult when my partner doubts my faithfulness because I'm away from home most of the time due to my work.

The reason why people cheat differs and it is a personal choice. Nobody just falls into it. However, there have been men who never cheated on their girlfriends or fiancees but when they saw the different side of marriage decided to cheat. There is absolutely no guarantee that those of us who do not cheat today will not cheat tomorrow. It just takes the grace of God and the personal decision not to hurt the one you are committed to.

only one with the fear of god can stay faithful to his wife.

@ chaircover - I'm not male in any form or fashion (just one of those rare people whose brain is male/female  ). 

We make conscious decisions to do things and it's no use pretending otherwise.  I still would like to know how a man can go to a place, get undressed/take off his pants, and Be Intimate with a woman who isn't his wife and call it "a mistake".

cold:

It's human nature to always want more.Some people's shoe room have more shelves than Walmart,their wardrobe nko,they want a new cloth every other day.They'd want their garages brimming with top of the range cars & yet say the longing to have more is unnatural   Even the strongest of men have fallen for the  wiles of the so called 'weaker sex';Samson,David (whom God referred to as 'a man after my own heart') Solomon,etc talk less of lesser mortals that dwell in this day & age.
That does not in any way justify infidelity but it is nonsensical to say it is unnatural

Perhaps a rough analogy to make my points clearer. The fact that a car breaks down on the highway doesn’t mean all cars must break down or that it is in the nature of good cars to break down. The breakdown occurs only when the car is badly driven or poorly maintained. So also it is not natural that all men will cheat unless off course as a result of weak character or no integrity. Again I will repeat myself: Men should stop hiding under this excuse that it’s in our nature to cheat. Cheating is not natural!

Define cheat?

When any significant other uses sex as a weapon, as a bargaining chip, withholds it then that person should not be surprised when infidelity occurs.

It's not a Man Vs Woman thing as both sexes cheat.

IMHO, the question should be, what can I do to keep my significant other on the straight path.

Nakingson:

Real Men don't cheat!
As a matter of fact am 6 yrs into the
my marriage but i never cheat my wife
4 once.
Temptations due come but thank God 4
the presence of Holy Spirit.
'That has been my secret to overcoming all
sorts of temptations.

Am sure som1 out there, especially
the doubting Thomases like d few earlier posters
will b saying am lying.
Well, no human being can bear me witness but
my conscience does.

I've concluded in my heart b4 going into marriage
that satisfaction in marriage and in life
generally is not out there,
in fact, its not going to be gotten anywhere,
U HAVE TO MAKE IT HAPPEN - QED!

Afterall, what are the reasons for marriage?
- Its God's idea
- 2 are better than 1 cos they have better reward 4 their labour
- sex (sex is either fornication or adultery outside marriage )
- u can only multiply/have children legally in marriage
- for comfort, etc.

If u're stil cheating on your spouse, pls stop it,
Nemesis will catch up with u or your children or even your grand-children
or even your generation and u knw what,
The repercusion is hurrible, Do leave a good LEGACY.

What u want in another woman, make it happen to your wife so
She can attract u, send her out to participate in alot os activities,
take her out to functions, Behind her up to your taste,
Those so called babes don't just drop from d sky.

The wife of your youth can stil happen men!

U can make greatness common if only u can be faithfull in marriage!
It has worked 4 me, its stil working and will continue to work as The Lord Liveth.

Goodluck to u all.

Guy, stop there. No make me vex ooo. Try and be on the stance of reality, 6 years into marriage is not enough to brand yourself a sincere husband: no offense intended though.

If you must know, I sincerely dated my wife for 13 good years before marriage and i have spent more years in marriage than you; simply put, I and my wife have been together for more than 20 years. To me, that is the short-run, but as time fly by it just started happening, truth is I cant say exactly how or when it started. In my case it just started flowing naturally not on a regular basis though ( 2wice a year at most and av done some years without it) and at most a couple of weeks max. I can never be a victim of any love child nor 2nd wife palava because i know the odds and my ladies understand and are ok with it. My strength is: keep it very brief and simple.

The irony is that if you are opportuned to meet me and my family and you are single, you may wish for a committed husband like me, and if you are married, you'll recommend me as a role model to your husband not to add that my wife would kill you if you dare connect her wonderful husband to infidelity.

Please ladies, don't crucify me on this, am only responding to the thread from a realist point of view. I no dey deceive myself.

Bawss1:

Perhaps a rough analogy to make my points clearer. The fact that a car breaks down on the highway doesn’t mean all cars must break down or that it is in the nature of good cars to break down. The breakdown occurs only when the car is badly driven or poorly maintained. So also it is not natural that all men will cheat unless off course as a result of weak character or no integrity. Again I will repeat myself: Men should stop hiding under this excuse that it’s in our nature to cheat. Cheating is not natural!

Your analogy flew over my head.In any event,I daresay wrong! to the highlighted.Rather,it is fidelity/monogamy that is unnatural but don't take my word for it.you might want to watch this short clip then make up your mind afterwards

[flash=200,200]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Ug8MTopqpE&feature=player_embedded#at=38[/flash]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Ug8MTopqpE&feature=player_embedded#at=38

And yeah one more thing,it was made by a woman!

after going through everyone' opinion, i feel compelled to contribute on this topic.
@op, your question should include the women/girls who indulge in the cheating act for whatever reason. i am sure some of them are making contribution now. no offence!

i do say this "marriage is a very costly commitement" until evryone understand this concept, then there will be less marital issues especially on cheating.

although cheating is always based on sex, what about financial cheating? some men don't cheat on thier wife sexaully but financially. they enjoy the luxury outside while their home languish in needs. self satisfaction abi that one no be cheating?

my statistic on men cheating is about 99%, which means 9 out of 10 men will definitely cheat on their spouse.
permit me to use my office as a case study.
all the married men in my office cheat or has cheated, but each one has a degree. i was so suprised that my best friend of all people could cheat on his wife and even got the lady in question pregnant. it beats my imagination.

the blame is 70% to women and 30% to men.

why?
1. a woman who cheats on her man before marriage especially with married men will definetly be cheated on.
2. a woman who nags too much will definitely be cheated on.
3. a woman who has no time for her husband will definitely be cheated on.
4. an arrogant/sturborn woman will defintely be cheated on
5. any woman who disregard  her husband wish will be cheated on, for sure
6. any woman that fails to keep herself in shape physically, materially, sexually, socially, spiritually, will also be cheated on. (women always act like delilah. remember samson? pls no explanation
7. any woman that expect their husband to cheat will be have it cos her expectation shall not be cut short.
8. any woman who keeps too many men around her (whether married or single) will be cheated on. the hubby may confess trust but right in his mind; he cannot convince himself that his wife won't cheat with one of them.
9. any woman that cannot communicate with her husband effectively will be cheated on.
10. any woman that fail to keep her husband secret from outsiders will be cheated on.
11. any woman that cannot resolve her family issues without a third party will be cheated on.
12. any woman that fails to take correction from her hubby will be cheated on.
13. a woman that cannot cook will be cheated on.
14. a dirty woman will be cheated on.
15. a woman who monitor her husband movement will be cheated on. (periscopic in nature)
i have to stop here.

if your man cheats check out yourself on the above.

the above reasons are what makes my colleagues to cheat.
So, op do you agree with me?

NB: the above reason are part of my book (still writing and not yet compiled and published) tittled "the Cheater and the Cheatee

i no wan talk too much and i hope you are not bored with my epistle?

kunle_j:

after going through everyone' opinion, i feel compelled to contribute on this topic.
@op, your question should include the women/girls who indulge in the cheating act for whatever reason. i am sure some of them are making contribution now. no offence!

i do say this "marriage is a very costly commitement" until evryone understand this concept, then there will be less marital issues especially on cheating.

although cheating is always based on sex, what about financial cheating? some men don't cheat on thier wife sexaully but financially. they enjoy the luxury outside while their home languish in needs. self satisfaction abi that one no be cheating?

my statistic on men cheating is about 99%, which means 9 out of 10 men will definitely cheat on their spouse.
permit me to use my office as a case study.
all the married men in my office cheat or has cheated, but each one has a degree. i was so suprised that my best friend of all people could cheat on his wife and even got the lady in question pregnant. it beats my imagination.

the blame is 70% to women and 30% to men.

why?
[size=18pt]1. a woman who cheats on her man before marriage especially with married men will definetly be cheated on.[/size]
2. a woman who nags too much will definitely be cheated on.
3. a woman who has no time for her husband will definitely be cheated on.
4. an arrogant/sturborn woman will defintely be cheated on
5. any woman who disregard  her husband wish will be cheated on, for sure
6. any woman that fails to keep herself in shape physically, materially, sexually, socially, spiritually, will also be cheated on. (women always act like delilah. remember samson? pls no explanation
7. any woman that expect their husband to cheat will be have it cos her expectation shall not be cut short.
8. any woman who keeps too many men around her (whether married or single) will be cheated on. the hubby may confess trust but right in his mind; he cannot convince himself that his wife won't cheat with one of them.
9. any woman that cannot communicate with her husband effectively will be cheated on.
10. any woman that fail to keep her husband secret from outsiders will be cheated on.
11. any woman that cannot resolve her family issues without a third party will be cheated on.
12. any woman that fails to take correction from her hubby will be cheated on.
13. a woman that cannot cook will be cheated on.
14. a dirty woman will be cheated on.
15. a woman who monitor her husband movement will be cheated on. (periscopic in nature)
i have to stop here.

if your man cheats check out yourself on the above.

the above reasons are what makes my colleagues to cheat.
So, op do you agree with me?

NB: the above reason are part of my book (still writing and not yet compiled and published) tittled "the Cheater and the Cheatee

i no wan talk too much and i hope you are not bored with my epistle?

best reply so far.

what are these women talking about.what has integrity and co got to do with cheating (aka sampling another punny). do u women ever think of integrity when u phock all the men u meet b4 u get married.remember living the crazy life b4 u get married.women have their fun b4 they get married,men have theirs when they get married.god no dey vex for that one cos na balanced equation. Every woman that lived a crazy life or cheated on her past bf would have her husband cheat on her. what u women want is to live a crazy life and then enjoy yours when you get married.nah.Dont forget that guy called `karrma`. Babes,stop complaining and get used to it.

kunle_j:

NB: the above reason are part of my book (still writing and not yet compiled and published) tittled "the Cheater and the Cheatee

i no wan talk too much and i hope you are not bored with my epistle?

you are writing a book on cheating? that's one book i will love to read.

Bawss1:

Perhaps a rough analogy to make my points clearer. The fact that a car breaks down on the highway doesn’t mean all cars must break down or that it is in the nature of good cars to break down. The breakdown occurs only when the car is badly driven or poorly maintained. So also it is not natural that all men will cheat unless off course as a result of weak character or no integrity. Again I will repeat myself: Men should stop hiding under this excuse that it’s in our nature to cheat. Cheating is not natural!

HA HA HA HA HA HA
Read you comment again and criticize yourself.
Look at it this way, If a car did not break down today does not mean it will not break down all, it is a matter of time. It could be as small as having a flat tyre. Isn't it suffice to say that car break down is natural with cars.
HA HA HA HA HA HA

[font=Lucida Sans Unicode]REAL MEN DON’T CHEAT UNREALISTIC MEN DO[/font]

The problem with so many people who have such problems is because the don’t really know what they want from a relationship .Especially the male gender. Many have gone into relationship and even marriage with fallacious beliefs. For example some believe when they get married it will stop infidelity but to their amazing surprise it only fueled it in some cases.

This problem has to do with low self esteem, lust, greed, lack of contentment, misguided orientation, weak mindset and wrong mindset .Sexual problem has nothing to do with the outside factors but the inward ones. Two men can see the same thing and think differently, one positive and the other negative. Why will one begin to fantasize about sex by seeing a lady who is well dressed or not? It all depends on the mindset. The definition you have given to certain things about life rules the way you see things and act.

I will like to ask you the following questions.
1. Will you be happy if your son takes after you?
2. Will you be happy if your daughter gets married to a spouse like you?
3. Will you be happy if your wife is doing the same thing as you?
4. What kind of family do you want to raise up?
5. When you are old and on your dying bed will you be happy that you have live a good and godly life and ready to meet your CREATOR?

If you sincerely answered these questions, I believe you can summon all the courage you need to break such a negative habit. I believe you love your wife and you truly fear God. With His grace and your own self determination you can overcome it. I am not going to tell you it will all that easy but your determination will go a long way in helping you. GOOD LUCK.

In this overly sexualized world all men are tempted but few survive the temptation. Not all men are cheaters, but majority have given it a thought.

I believe there are men who are also pushed to cheat by their wives for one reason or the other.

Loveaflame:

[font=Lucida Sans Unicode]REAL MEN DON’T CHEAT UNREALISTIC MEN DO[/font]
I will like to ask you the following questions.
1. Will you be happy if your son takes after you?
2. Will you be happy if your daughter gets married to a spouse like you?
3. Will you be happy if your wife is doing the same thing as you?
4. What kind of family do you want to raise up?
5. When you are old and on your dying bed will you be happy that you have live a good and godly life and ready to meet your CREATOR?

If you sincerely answered these questions, I believe you can summon all the courage you need to break such a negative habit. I believe you love your wife and you truly fear God. With His grace and your own self determination you can overcome it. I am not going to tell you it will all that easy but your determination will go a long way in helping you. GOOD LUCK.

with all due respect, these questions are irrelevant because my children have their lives to sort out. if you spend the whole of your life tutoring your wards not to cheat, lie, etc - it still does not guarantee they wouldn't do it. even after being told everything, the decision still lies with the child. his/her choice will be independent of what he must have heard. this is why some pastors have wayward children in spite of what their parents preach.

In this overly sexualized world all men are tempted but few survive the temptation. Not all men are cheaters, but majority have given it a thought

thank you.




@ topic

so, if we assume all men cheat, will these same men start shouting that products of broken homes always expect a man to cheat.

yet see the thread where it came straight from the horses' mouth.

@ topic

anyway, no sweating.

if the man cant stop cheating, then the woman can also do the same.

as long as nobody brings stds home or spills the beans, everybody's happy.

You can't be rich and have s-ex with the same person all your life Tiger proved that!

Loveaflame:

I will like to ask you the following questions.
1. Will you be happy if your son takes after you?
2. Will you be happy if your daughter gets married to a spouse like you?
3. Will you be happy if your wife is doing the same thing as you?
4. What kind of family do you want to raise up?
5. When you are old and on your dying bed will you be happy that you have live a good and godly life and ready to meet your CREATOR?

If you sincerely answered these questions, I believe you can summon all the courage you need to break such a negative habit. I believe you love your wife and you truly fear God. With His grace and your own self determination you can overcome it. I am not going to tell you it will all that easy but your determination will go a long way in helping you. GOOD LUCK.

very pertinent question