The day brighton and hove beat wotowoto fc 4:0 and deny me 8k.

Hmmm,mine has to be the day my mom had some visitors,i was in my room busy browsing the internet,just before i remembered it was already past the time for my fav tv show,i ran at full speed to the living room,already reaching for the tv switch,while shouting "shit time don pass"unbeknown to me of the female visitors.They were just staring at me,mehn it was damn embarasing i felt like disappearing,i just greeted them and took my leave awkwardly.

Mine was at my ppa back in plateau State. I was asked to lead the opening prayer during the staffs meeting on a Monday morning. The principal said "Corper xxxxx, please lead us in prayer ". Immediately I said In Jesus name, I just paused , I couldn't say anything again afterwards. The words just disappeared. The principal then asked another teacher to pray. After the prayer, the principal jokingly asked me to go meet the crk teacher for proper tutoring on how to pray.
Through out the meeting, I was embarrassed and so down. I couldn't explain what happened. It's not as if I don't usually pray or don't know how to pray.

It was a day I can never forget

chymes0359:
hahaha

Modified

Mine was in my year 3 at federal University of technology Yola, Adamawa state. I was in a maths lecture and it's the first week of our school resumption, I became pressed that I think I don't wanna use the school toilet.

So, i decided to send myself to the worst humiliation and shame I have ever met to myself. Instead of me to Check-in in the hostel toilet at ease, I decided to enter town thinking am gonna hold much longer to the nature call.

I bordered a bike form LT 5&6 to the outside of the school gate, then hop in on a cab heading to town, then my thing of pain beckon on me. On transit heading to town my whole body was not itself, I feel like a pregnant woman that about to give birth to a new born baby. In the heat of Adamawa sun of which Adamawa state is in-between the sun and first planet, I feel very cold and my skin was covered with Goose pimples and this unknown nervous sweat.

Then the devil decided to punish me more as it was at the time of insurgency and the only road leading to town was a bridge that transverse river Benue leading to Cameron, ahead before the bridge was an Amy check point, fleets of cars in Disorder arrangement coupled with hold up, I died. The passengers also died too as I was releasing Some odd salient mess that was very unhealthy I refused it was coming out from me.
I was in that hold up for 15mins the call of nature began to treating my life amidst the confusion in the car.
I opened the car as my body was covered with cold sweat, I gave the driver 500naira note instead of 100 naira, I couldn't wait for the change I moved despite his call for my change.

I met one woman in her shop with no shame, I greeted her, she thought I want to buy something without much hesitation I told her to help me, she taught I want to beg her for money cause I was looking alright, I told here in Pidgins English " Madam shit dey worry me, abeg where I fit shit" [/b]The woman burst out with laugh, before she could held herself I told her With sorrowful humbled voice "[b]Please ma, I done dey shit for my trouser" . She them hurried me out of her shop and motioned me to a house behind her shop.
I moved with the speed of light, Meet a woman and her fine young daughter in mind twenties Without shame as I was very pressed intensely and greeted her and asked if I could used their toilet that am very pressed, her daughter looked at my sweating face and Grimes at me.
Her mother change it for me as she grimaced with a sharp two words not here! she pointed me to an abandoned sewage pit opened on the road side where people pass to ease myself.

That is when I understood the Proverb that said " Whoever is pressed don't care about the neatness of the toilet or it location where it's on the main road until he/she is done with nature's Business"..

Without shame, I give you 5 likes

obikiel:
it would have been today, but he who seats on the throne was there for me.

I took yam and beans to work. Around 9am , I went to the break out session to have my breakfast not forgetting my milk drink I had made with just milk and sugar. After swallowing the dangerous contents, I went back to work.....

After some time I started feeling bloated, I went to the toilet and farted, no solid waste. this repeated for like 4 times before I closed around 5pm.

when we closed and I got into the staff bus, I didn't know the journey was going to be a treacherous one, coming from the Island down to Ikoyi, the traffic that held us there must have connived with forces unknown to disgrace me.

while in the bus, there was a rumble in my stomach, …I prayed and I wished.....that this cup will pass me by, i was so uncomfortable using all my strength to prevent all the contents in my stomach from escaping.

On getting to ago-palace road(round about), I was already standing in the bus as my patience was wearing out, even in the AC bus a sweat broke out from my head, close colleagues after knowing the calamity I was battling with suggested that I stop and use one of the eateries rest rooms.

Armed with the new information, I came down from the bus and went to libra motors, where I was directed to their toilet and the rest they say is history...…..

What’s wrong with beans and milk ? I sometimes have this and have no issues. Now the milk is usually Soyamilk but why is it a deadly combo ?

RedAlert08:


Why didn't you wanna date the guy?

There's nothing wrong with the guy. Fair, tall, handsome and all. I just don't like him ni. You know some people even if dem turn water to wine, they still will not impress you.
Besides my bf then dey shack me like crazy. He's my hubby now.

obikiel:
it would have been today, but he who seats on the throne was there for me.

I took yam and beans to work. Around 9am , I went to the break out session to have my breakfast not forgetting my milk drink I had made with just milk and sugar. After swallowing the dangerous contents, I went back to work.....

After some time I started feeling bloated, I went to the toilet and farted, no solid waste. this repeated for like 4 times before I closed around 5pm.

when we closed and I got into the staff bus, I didn't know the journey was going to be a treacherous one, coming from the Island down to Ikoyi, the traffic that held us there must have connived with forces unknown to disgrace me.

while in the bus, there was a rumble in my stomach, …I prayed and I wished.....that this cup will pass me by, i was so uncomfortable using all my strength to prevent all the contents in my stomach from escaping.

On getting to ago-palace road(round about), I was already standing in the bus as my patience was wearing out, even in the AC bus a sweat broke out from my head, close colleagues after knowing the calamity I was battling with suggested that I stop and use one of the eateries rest rooms.

Armed with the new information, I came down from the bus and went to libra motors, where I was directed to their toilet and the rest they say is history...…..

You went to "Libra Motors" and you were liberated lolz

Abusk:
Hmmm,mine has to be the day my mom had some visitors,i was in my room busy browsing the internet,just before i remembered it was already past the time for my fav tv show,i ran at full speed to the living room,already reaching for the tv switch,while shouting "shit time don pass"unbeknown to me of the female visitors.They were just staring at me,mehn it was damn embarasing i felt like disappearing,i just greeted them and took my leave awkwardly.

I can imagine, this thing don do me too.

chymes0359:
hahaha

Modified

Mine was in my year 3 at federal University of technology Yola, Adamawa state. I was in a maths lecture and it's the first week of our school resumption, I became pressed that I think I don't wanna use the school toilet.

So, i decided to send myself to the worst humiliation and shame I have ever met to myself. Instead of me to Check-in in the hostel toilet at ease, I decided to enter town thinking am gonna hold much longer to the nature call.

I bordered a bike form LT 5&6 to the outside of the school gate, then hop in on a cab heading to town, then my thing of pain beckon on me. On transit heading to town my whole body was not itself, I feel like a pregnant woman that about to give birth to a new born baby. In the heat of Adamawa sun of which Adamawa state is in-between the sun and first planet, I feel very cold and my skin was covered with Goose pimples and this unknown nervous sweat.

Then the devil decided to punish me more as it was at the time of insurgency and the only road leading to town was a bridge that transverse river Benue leading to Cameron, ahead before the bridge was an Amy check point, fleets of cars in Disorder arrangement coupled with hold up, I died. The passengers also died too as I was releasing Some odd salient mess that was very unhealthy I refused it was coming out from me.
I was in that hold up for 15mins the call of nature began to treating my life amidst the confusion in the car.
I opened the car as my body was covered with cold sweat, I gave the driver 500naira note instead of 100 naira, I couldn't wait for the change I moved despite his call for my change.

I met one woman in her shop with no shame, I greeted her, she thought I want to buy something without much hesitation I told her to help me, she taught I want to beg her for money cause I was looking alright, I told here in Pidgins English " Madam shit dey worry me, abeg where I fit shit" [/b]The woman burst out with laugh, before she could held herself I told her With sorrowful humbled voice "[b]Please ma, I done dey shit for my trouser" . She them hurried me out of her shop and motioned me to a house behind her shop.
I moved with the speed of light, Meet a woman and her fine young daughter in mind twenties Without shame as I was very pressed intensely and greeted her and asked if I could used their toilet that am very pressed, her daughter looked at my sweating face and Grimes at me.
Her mother change it for me as she grimaced with a sharp two words not here! she pointed me to an abandoned sewage pit opened on the road side where people pass to ease myself.

That is when I understood the Proverb that said " Whoever is pressed don't care about the neatness of the toilet or it location where it's on the main road until he/she is done with nature's Business"..

Laff wan kill me

I had similar experience. it was early this year. prior to the incidence, I had attended a friends wedding over the weekend and being the best man that I was, I had much Sugary drinks and and plenty snacks too, so on Monday Morning on my wey to office I saw this women who sell Agbo at Lugbe Junction, and the natural me whenever I have high intake of sugary stuffs I take Agbo jedi jedi to flush it. i asked for N100 agbo from the woman, I personally requested for the one that wld make me stool all the sugar i took.

Immediately I took it, my tummy started making noise o, so I boarded a taxi to Berger, before we got to Berger my brother I was already sweating and eager to get to office so I could do the needful, unfortunately there is this morning holdup along Finance junction because of the bridge they are constructing there, I was able to hold on till I got to Berger though. giving the other passengers back to back mess. Laffs

When I dropped at Berger, I decided to trek to Utako where my office is, cause if i board a taxi, i wld poo on my body before getting to office. between Berger and Arab Junction there is this narrow pathway where people pass, I sharpenly commot my trouser there and pooed, I was a pooing in my boxer already, I dint mind those that were passing oo. it dint take 3 seconds and I was done so i carried my head down in shame and left. it was a terrible experience.

Mine was doing GCE days, we had mathematics that day.

But on seeing the question paper, elephant started stomping in my stomach. I had to meet the invigilator to excuse me to do the needful.

As soon as I got out the elephant stopped and I was relieved so I went back inside. Few minutes, my stomach started rumbling again, I got up to meet the invigilator who was already looking at me with a stare that could make me combust. I said,
Me: sir I want to ease myself
Sir:Again, what did you eat dz morning? He allowed me.

I went out again but dz time I never reach toilet b4 I mess myself up.

To clean myself I no fit, to go back inside go continue exam I no fit. I just stand dey look.

Shortly, one of the teachers in that school was sent to look for me by the invigilator. When she saw me, the look on her face was priceless.

She asked me to wait and she left to get me tissue, soap. As I was cleaning myself, she was telling me how dey all tot I left.
That d invigilator was the one that insist dey should check the toilet first b4 dey conclude.

After cleaning myself, here comes another dilemma. How do I go back to the class with all d ppu present there? Bcuz I know she would have told them about seeing me and the situation she met me. Mind you am d shy type.

I just start to dey cry o, that I don't want to sit for the paper again, she persuaded me, that it's nothing just call of nature.
Then I tot of it, how do I tell my parents I missed my paper bcuz I dey shame say I shit for body? I just compose with my head down and went to class. On getting there, the invigilator was d first person to initiate convo but I couldn't answer him, All eyes was on me I just jejely go sidan, try check the question again.

25mins later I hear time up, I just go submit like that.

Result came out I got C4 but that didn't erase that day from my head.
Funny thing is I didn't eat anything that day o.

I remember the first day i came back home after POP from Kano ...

Before boarding the bus from Kaduna (cos i branched KD to see a relative), i ate Banga Soup and starch, later ate Kilishi and Coke at the park....

Got home and ate Bread and Tea...

Me and my guys went to flex and ate fish....

Later that evening, was supposed to cordinate Service in Church ...

Omo as i climb altar na once Shit start to catch me o....see as i dey sweat for AC...lol...

I run comot from church dey go house...na for road i tk branch back of one Tipper take shit o...na my handkerchief i use tk wipe ass....

Luckily twas evening (around 6:30pm) so no one really took notice...

I had just won an Election to be the Financial Secretary of Nigerian Economics Students Association (NESA) of my School Branch. 'then in 300 Level' and the official handover Dinner party was organized for the outgoing Exco's and official Inauguration in of the new Executives.

I was very excited, it was a dream come through for me cause I had nurtured that ambition and started campaigning since my 200 Level so that I might come unopposed, but a set a departmental big boys whom were not in good terms with me financed one of our course mate to contest against me. Naturally, one amongst them would have contested but they all had no CGPA requirement. I defeated the guy they sponsored narrowly.

On the day of our Inauguration we were told by the President that after the official inauguration we were going to introduce ourselves and "in brief" what we plan to do for the department.

I was a very shy guy then and wanted something that would boost my ego and take the shyness off me for that period. I then consulted one of my roommate who was into drugs to recommend any drug I could take to boost me, he knew I wouldn't take alcohol or smoke, so he asked that I give him some cash to get me Tramadol, I did, and he got 3, 200ml Tramadol.

After I took all I noticed my voice had cracked, very tick and unpleasant, I began to take water at intervals, I swear I dint know what I was doing. when it was time to Introduce myself I could not talk, I could not even call my own name, talk more of my position and what I intend doing for the department.

I was depressed , for more than a week I could not enter school, it was embarrassing, to even my siblings whom were in other departments and had invited there friend to come witness their brother's Inauguration. i let them down. I became the topic of the Department. my enemies were happy and openly used me to catch cruise at wil.

horpeyemmi66:
Space for sale

Will you sell for N100m?

This happened in my final year in the university.
I was a member of the JC International where we had a lot of leadership skills training. Back then I had financial difficulties that made it impossible for me to dress properly for our meetings which is either corporate or native.
Since I could not afford most of the dress codes, I do not attend meetings regularly and learn how to address a crowd (I was a very shy person back then).
We had two sessions of a our send off of which an acquaintance who was also being sent off was the MC/Anchor of the program.
At the beginning of the second session, as people were coming in, he invited me to come and give a vote of thanks on behalf of the graduating students. I got up picked up the mike and because I was not in any way prepared for that, I kept mumbling incoherent words like mmm..., and smiling sheepishly until the mike was collected from me.
After that, I couldn't get up from my seat and I wished the ground could open and swallow me. Up till this day, anytime I remember this, I still cringe.

Mide1data:
Mine was when I tried to ask a girl out in high school.

She told me to my face(in Yoruba)- "o lowo e" Which means "you don't have the money"

Everybody burst into laughter that I ran out of the class.

WHAT YOUR'S ?

rhymesnoni:



Laff wan kill me

I had similar experience. it was early this year. prior to the incidence, I had attended a friends wedding over the weekend and being the best man that I was, I had much Sugary drinks and and plenty snacks too, so on Monday Morning on my wey to office I saw this women who sell Agbo at Lugbe Junction, and the natural me whenever I have high intake of sugary stuffs I take Agbo jedi jedi to flush it. i asked for N100 agbo from the woman, I personally requested for the one that wld make me stool all the sugar i took.

Immediately I took it, my tummy started making noise o, so I boarded a taxi to Berger, before we got to Berger my brother I was already sweating and eager to get to office so I could do the needful, unfortunately there is this morning holdup along Finance junction because of the bridge they are constructing there, I was able to hold on till I got to Berger though. giving the other passengers back to back mess. Laffs

When I dropped at Berger, I decided to trek to Utako where my office is, cause if i board a taxi, i wld poo on my body before getting to office. between Berger and Arab Junction there is this narrow pathway where people pass, I sharpenly commot my trouser there and pooed, I was a pooing in my boxer already, I dint mind those that were passing oo. it dint take 3 seconds and I was done so i carried my head down in shame and left. it was a terrible experience.

it's funny when you tell the story.
But the experience is very horrible, and something you will remember and laugh with self shame and pity..

Fear nature calls if it has dealt or disgraced you publicly.

chymes0359:



it's funny when you tell the story.
But the experience is very horrible, and something you will remember and laugh with self shame and pity..

Fear nature calls if it has dealt or disgraced you publicly.

Its unimaginable, except you get yourself in such situation ah swear!!

Unbrandedman:
I was in the uni, 200 level. I had a crush I v been asking out since we gained admission over one year earlier. But she refused. I got to know she had someone else. One day I invited her to my hostel. Tried so hard to make her sleep with me, but she reluctantly refused. At a point while we were struggling on d bed, she rose up to go. At that time I was already hard-rock. I stood up to block and plead with her more to yield, behold she saw me ejaculating as my seed was dropping live from my boxers. She looked me in the eyes, laughed and said " oh, u v already released". I was so embarrassed. She left and I never talked to her again after that incident. Good news is, many years later she was posted to the city where I had earlier served and working (she didn't graduate with us). She worked right into my house, looking for assistance for a better PPA. It was an opportunity for me to settle that score and I wasted no time doing so. I dropped the relationship after few times of romp because I already had someone to marry. This is real life, not fake.

You cheated on your spouse imagine someone
Doing thesame to the lady you intend marrying to settle scores