life disvirgins all of us, no one is a virgin!!

I think d guy shud nt breath a word of it 2 anybody bt he shud realy av a longtalk wit his wife.Cos there must be some xplanation 4 it bt my question is dis.Did she tell d husband i mean b4 d marriage dat she was a virgin or he jst assumed?Cos it's possible dat she might av been sleepin wit perhabs her ex boyfriend b4 she met her husband.

yawa don gas
if the girl didn't want to have sex before marriage, simple, just say u have turned celibate instead of lying.
one of my friends (a guy) only wants to marry a virgin, and he is definitely not a virgin.
marrying a virgin or non virgin is a preference, as it is a preference with girls to marry a poor, average, or rich guy.
trust is a very difficult thing to earn once broken.
the guy should have a talk with his wife, ask her y she lied. if he can get past her deceit, all well and gud if not tell her to leave so as to avoid wat happened in "engagement nite" - the movie (all about trust).

@ post?

is it really that serious?!
I mean, a family meeting over that?

are you sure she is not a virgin?
some women lose their hymens before they have sex,
some have wider vagina's than others, or were masterbater's.

and even if she is not, so what?
I would mainly be concerned at why she felt she had to lie to you,
probably because she thought that like most men, you would place
her "value" in her virginity, and didn't want to lose you.

Old post but still quite topical and relevant.

hunniebomb:

yawa don gas
if the girl didn't want to have intimacy before marriage, simple, just say u have turned celibate instead of lying.
one of my friends (a guy) only wants to marry a virgin, and he is definitely not a virgin.
marrying a virgin or non virgin is a preference, as it is a preference with girls to marry a poor, average, or rich guy.
trust is a very difficult thing to earn once broken.
the guy should have a talk with his wife, ask her y she lied. if he can get past her deceit, all well and gud if not tell her to leave so as to avoid wat happened in "engagement nite" - the movie (all about trust).

Excellent point @ bolded part. Baffles me when some silly girls ask the question 'is he a virgin too, why is he complaining'? Nonsense. If girls constantly choose to marry a rich guy or handsome guy (even when she herself is just a plain jane), what is wrong in a man choosing to marry a virgin, be he one or not?

As such, the fact that a girl lied to a man that she is a virgin in order to deceive him into marrying her with the belief that once married, her deceit will be forgiven is nothing short of abominable. Not only did she cheat the man out of his choice, she made him pay a heavy price (marriage) for goods that others before him got cheaply/for free. Forgiving her would therefore mean that her scheming and deceit have turned out successful - exactly how she planned.

Being that some of us cannot stand the thought of being blatantly outsmarted and ridiculed this way, not only will she be kicked out; her very life will be in mortal danger. She could 'accidentally' get knocked down by an unknown hit and run driver - and her estranged (ex)husband will be thousands of miles away from that scene. Little do some people know that they're playing with fire when they try to play smart.

[td]he married her because he thought she had a hymen? [/td]
No, he divorced because she doesnot know how to lie

@ajiteru
Yes, women can break their hymen, without enganging in sex when they engage in rigorous exercise like horse riding etc

@poster
Is your wife Naija? cos she isnt smart to me.

A lot of women would think the man feels bad because of the virginity issue. Not really.

The real bad ground there is the fact that she lied on a key issue. Therefore what else could she have lied about?

Such women do not understand the damage such a lie can cause. They think he would forgive but it is like cheating on your partner. The trust is broken.

virgin or not wedding has been done abi? pls plan for your marriage NOW

why do i have a feeling that this was derived from a nollywood movie, maybe the poster could only watch part 1 of the movie ,but could'nt get part 2, and decide to get tips from NL MEMBERS on what will happen in part 2,

An elderly man once said to me;

every woman is a virgin until YOU have access to her punny.

so the guy should just look for a big 'osuka' to carry his own load.

I've read various responses regarding this post. But no one seems to look at it from another point of view.
The girl deceived the guy. If she had told him point blank that "I am not having sex until wedding night" that would have been a different case.

Also, it depends on the extent of disvirginity. If the 'diameter' is so wide. then, I can't support that.
If a girl/lady is a liar, the effect in the family is so damaging
What is the guarantee that the girl will not continue with the fellow who was 'servicing' her before getting married.
"it is better for one to cry now and laugh at the end than for one to endure and at the end of day, still cry.

@fm7070: I quite agree

She ought to have said: Guy, I have had s+ex before but I no longer want to sleep with anyone till my wedding night.

I guess the guy's mind would be prepared for that than being told I am a virgin and meet a big fat lie on the wedding night.

when you get married there is something called 'forgiveness' and you realize that not any of us is perfect because the bible says all of us have sinned and run short of God's glory and it is by grace that we are reconciled to him. please forgive the woman. , and like someone said avoid third party

true, once married one has no choice but I see things like this similar to showing up with a child after marriage. (that you were never told about)

It's all deceit in different sizes it will surely affect trust for awhile if not for a long time

D guy shld stick to her, maybe she was scared of losing d guy but did want intimacy. So dat was d only way out.

[quote author=IAH]If the man refuses to forgive her then he never really loved her. If he truly loves her, why should such a thing lead to a breakdown of their relationship?!!! And they are married! [/quote BUT IT WAS ON THE BASES OF VIRGINITY THAT GUY AGREE TO MARRY HER NOW THAT CONTRT IS BROKEN

You dnt need to do anything again with such woman. She can very dangerous for hiding that fact from you. Just gv her a distance.

he should ask her questions and if her answers are worth it, he should try to understand and forgive

HOP IT NT because D GUY DINT SEE ANY BLOOD ON DEIR WEDN NYT.....cos it nt al gals dat hv hymen o nd did he ask hr

babwilms: My guy, i think he should stay married to her and let the matter remain between both of them (no third party), but the lady has got questions to answer regarding the issue. The guy should distant himself away from her, like nt sleeping on the same bed, not sleeping with her anymore, nt eating her prepared meals, avoid her in all sort of manners, basically make life difficult for her until she accept her wrong deeds to the guy. The husband must be fully convinced that shes really sory for her actions before allowing things to go back to normal. But please no cheating on the wife

I tink dats d ryt tin 2 do o

babwilms: My guy, i think he should stay married to her and let the matter remain between both of them (no third party), but the lady has got questions to answer regarding the issue. The guy should distant himself away from her, like nt sleeping on the same bed, not sleeping with her anymore, nt eating her prepared meals, avoid her in all sort of manners, basically make life difficult for her until she accept her wrong deeds to the guy. The husband must be fully convinced that shes really sory for her actions before allowing things to go back to normal. But please no cheating on the wife

.the deed has already been done.definitely she would open up to him cos there Is nothing left to hide. women sha!!!!.

glodave: I gust the Guy is not a Virgin? if yes, so wat is there? he should try and see reason wit his lady (his wife), and try to 4get everythings and move on.

it sounds so easy for you to make that comment. its very unwise to lie with things like virginity. as it stands the lady will be branded a lier and things wont remain the same. its better to be truthful about it, but stand your ground not to engage in the act till marriage. and it doesn't matter if the guy is a virgin or not cos it has little or no implication. the lady messed up big time.

Same thing happened in my area. The man waited and on the wedding night, he discovered that she was deceiving him all this while. The guy divorced her sharply no too talking and no coming to ask stupid question in Nairaland sho. If is really you will no pple don't joke with such

The guy should go ahead and seek an annulment of the marriage as the other party presented false claims which formed the basis of their consummation of the contract. I hope others with like minds out there would learn from this.

The contract is null and void. What's the big deal in telling the truth if you are not a virgin rather than lying your way into a marriage and think you can easily cross the bridge when your poo starts stinking.

I have a female friend who was kicked out of her home a day after her wedding for a similar thing. The issue is not whether she is a virgin or not. Who cares at this age? The issue is deceit forming the foundation of a marriage.