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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / How To Manage A Spouse With Entirely Different Social Traits (2074 Views)
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Re: How To Manage A Spouse With Entirely Different Social Traits by DeutschJunge: 5:40pm On May 25, 2022 |
RightToReject: Mr Man free me naw! Your mind is so big that i am already occupying a huge portion of it, i am flying around in that big head-mind of yours like casper the ghost, right? Please ease off on the obsession. If trampling on people and trying to make them feel wortless to boost your dwarf ego is what gets you off, baba, you will forever remain flacid on this thread. Point of correction, i never said i wanted to be like those people i mentioned in an earlier post, i only gave you examples of special gifted people that accomplished amazing things in this life. You on the other hand, trying to force your opinion down peoples throat, while implying that you have a mind big enough to obsess over sombody you dont know on a faceless forum, now thats a BIG-USELESS mind! I ask kindly again, avoid my mentions! 4 Likes |
Re: How To Manage A Spouse With Entirely Different Social Traits by Munzy14(m): 5:43pm On May 25, 2022 |
mariahAngel:Finally F in your moniker... What inspired that? Kwuo eziokwu o le ihe mere nu? |
Re: How To Manage A Spouse With Entirely Different Social Traits by Munzy14(m): 5:46pm On May 25, 2022 |
DeutschJunge:You are giving the online sabinus audience, so expect more of the Mama Ngozi and her yard people talks. You know the saying, silence is best option to such Urchins when they start constituting nuisance. 3 Likes |
Re: How To Manage A Spouse With Entirely Different Social Traits by mariahAngel(f): 6:04pm On May 25, 2022 |
Munzy14: Does it really matter? Nothing really. |
Re: How To Manage A Spouse With Entirely Different Social Traits by DeutschJunge: 6:24pm On May 25, 2022 |
NoToPile: I know that, obviously it will be more. I like to keep conversations meaningful, so usually my favorite form of conversation with colleagues and people at least at this point in life, is usually straight question and answer. Tell me what you need, i give you what you need and vice versa. No small talk. Now, with a spouse that might be slightly different, but i am not banking on the fact that it would be significantly different. I really appreciate youur contribution, You have first hand account and experience, which is why i created this thread. Do you mind if i ask more questions about the dynamics of your relationship? -Does play/joke/fool around more now years into the marriage than he was before? -If yes, how long did it take and how did you encourage it? -if you could change anything about his personality, what would it be? -How would you advice another woman who wants to marry someone like him? -Do you genuinely love him or you are managing him? (you can choose not to answer, but if you do please be honest) -If you could go back in time, would you marry him? (again you can choose not to answer) |
Re: How To Manage A Spouse With Entirely Different Social Traits by Munzy14(m): 6:31pm On May 25, 2022 |
mariahAngel:Don't be too smart biko... What happened? O wu maka ndi kpoga gi bro .. Even Adanne angel o nwekwaranu F? It matters o..unless i chohu i gwa m the Inspiration behind it.. Mgbe ahu it was looking like three bear's case of genderless..until he later added M Weird somebody. |
Re: How To Manage A Spouse With Entirely Different Social Traits by RightToReject(m): 6:33pm On May 25, 2022 |
DeutschJunge: I don't give a damn about your ranting and balderdash. It is good that I have been able to knock you into reality a bit and you now know that you are a man with special needs and not a special man, so you can scram and direct your further mention to small-minded elements like you. People like you that have a disorder where delusions of grandeur are dominant and desire for others who will put you on a pedestal (an addiction you cannot afford to give up), even though it makes you worse, are inseparable. Bumpkin. |
Re: How To Manage A Spouse With Entirely Different Social Traits by DeutschJunge: 6:45pm On May 25, 2022 |
Na wa o, A lady asked earlier why i do not use social media, this is the exact reason here. This individual ^^^^^^^^^ Apparently, he dosen't take rejection well. The funny thing is that i am a man and he is already so obsessed and stalking me. I fear for the women in his life. I can only imagine the abuse. I pray for your healing. 4 Likes |
Re: How To Manage A Spouse With Entirely Different Social Traits by DeutschJunge: 8:22pm On May 25, 2022 |
JovialJune: Beauty is subjective, i think i am a 10. But, heck you might see me and think i am a 50 on a scale of 10. Anyways, that was just a joke. Beauty fades, if you however love someone for who they are, that remains for a life time. So, i am not looking for someone that wants eye candy. Besides, money can make anybody fine, just look at the before and after pics of celebrities. I will try to be on whatsapp, i just fear that i might not respond to messages on time and that will rub off on people the wrong way, but i will work on that. Thanks for the contribution. 2 Likes |
Re: How To Manage A Spouse With Entirely Different Social Traits by Mryacks: 8:29pm On May 25, 2022 |
DeutschJunge: I understand your points and concerns...believe me, you will be just fine eventually. It is not all women that have all that goody goofy friendships going on with their spouses... |
Re: How To Manage A Spouse With Entirely Different Social Traits by JovialJune(f): 8:32pm On May 25, 2022 |
Munzy14: 3 Likes |
Re: How To Manage A Spouse With Entirely Different Social Traits by JovialJune(f): 8:38pm On May 25, 2022 |
DeutschJunge: If you are consistent and constantly on these streets, you'd know he is our resident Cinderella, he has obsessively fought with every known female moniker here, and the funny delusion of it all is that, he goes by another named "Lord.ko" , The "Lord" makes me laugh hilariously anytime I see it 5 Likes 1 Share |
Re: How To Manage A Spouse With Entirely Different Social Traits by JovialJune(f): 8:54pm On May 25, 2022 |
DeutschJunge: People say this "beauty fade" thing to console themselves abeg let's tell ourselves the truth, if you're fine you're fine, and you will keep aging like fine wine, If you don't want exposure on other social media, pls try to be on WhatsApp so as to familiarize yourself with being able to communicate and flow with people, so pls work on that aspect Thinking of it, I actually have a friend exactly like you and I'm already tired of being her friend sef, she's so introverted to the extent that she apologises everytime I chat her up, because she knows I will always complain about her silent treatment, I'm basically her only friend or acquaintance (I don't even know if she sees me as a friend sef) so your personality doesn't come as a surprise to me, with the way I keep advising her on improving her communication deficiency due to marriage etc, I'm sure she will block me one day 2 Likes |
Re: How To Manage A Spouse With Entirely Different Social Traits by KevinDein: 9:18pm On May 25, 2022 |
JovialJune:Tbh, the emboldened kinda like implies he's more often than not on the right side. One should question his values if most of the women in this section are a fan of him. 1 Like |
Re: How To Manage A Spouse With Entirely Different Social Traits by NoToPile: 9:33pm On May 25, 2022 |
DeutschJunge: @bolded with a spouse it will not be slightly different, it will be significantly different. Like 2 people from different backgrounds, orientation living together and you are saying it won't be significantly different abeg o. I don't mind I will answer the ones I can. - Play, joke/ fool around is mostly spontaneous, not something planned anyway. But I will say it is as it has been, if not lesser simply because there are more responsibilities now, little ones running up and down the house stressing everyone so not much time to catch fun, so the ones that happens we make the most of it. I could come with one Gist / aproko from the office and then we analyze dissect it, and then other conversations come in from his end and just when you are going with the flow a toddler needs attention Just understand a lot of things can affect this, children, work, stress, even finances. A family without money might not be able to joke or fool around. 2. 3. If I could, I would want him to talk more and not suck somethings in like most men do. 4. Hmm, the personality of the lady also comes into play, someone with an extreme out going, extroverted personality might (will) not be able to cope. So I would say if the person extremely extroverted there's no point they would be miles apart. I need to say I am also a quiet indoor person, just that I communicate better with people closest to me,not a SM freak like him too, possibly this similarity helped. Major difference is I believe in talking things through with my loved ones but outside I would rather be silent and ignore since I believe they really don't matter in the grand scheme of things. 5. Yeah I do and I am not managing. 6.Yeah I would, I don't need one hot head that will be frustrating life out of someone. Let me add this Please don't be stiff in your home, let your stiffness stay outside , most women cannot cope with a stiff man, they might just manage, Loosen up. In marriage things flow naturally they just do, different things, you laugh together, cry together, celebrate the little successes, the big ones, you quarell, make up, etcetc. All you need is one lady that will sweep you of your feet, that stiffness will disappear. just have an open mind. 1 Like |
Re: How To Manage A Spouse With Entirely Different Social Traits by JovialJune(f): 9:34pm On May 25, 2022 |
KevinDein: Yeah, men who are unbiased and fair in logic and comments are often seen as wrong because of the "I must support my gender no matter what" mentality most remote controlled boys like you display, tell me what's new, anything women triggers your core non stop.....you've been noticed. 3 Likes |
Re: How To Manage A Spouse With Entirely Different Social Traits by NoToPile: 9:40pm On May 25, 2022 |
JovialJune: There are different grades of not talking much his own is a higher grade. OPs case seems like not talking at all to me. 1 Like |
Re: How To Manage A Spouse With Entirely Different Social Traits by KevinDein: 10:09pm On May 25, 2022 |
JovialJune:Lol, I find the emboldened funny, coming from you. Seems you haven't even been paying attention to your posts, ma'am. |
Re: How To Manage A Spouse With Entirely Different Social Traits by JovialJune(f): 10:13pm On May 25, 2022 |
KevinDein: Me? I'm innocent 3 Likes |
Re: How To Manage A Spouse With Entirely Different Social Traits by DeutschJunge: 2:30pm On May 26, 2022 |
NoToPile: Yes I know, from my experience although not as a married person, if you play with women a lot they usually take it too far and that respect thing evaporates. I on the other hand, I am very huge on respect. I give people respect and I would like the same in return. I laugh and I am a very sarcastic person, I am sure you’d have picked that up from this thread. The problem with that is, women are quite emotional and I can say something sarcastically that will really hurt her. Biglittlelois: Alright, I would work on the points there. Do you have any experience you’d like to share? It would be highly appreciated. |
Re: How To Manage A Spouse With Entirely Different Social Traits by DeutschJunge: 3:43pm On May 26, 2022 |
mariahAngel: Thank you. I am glad you picked up on that. Not many people do. |
Re: How To Manage A Spouse With Entirely Different Social Traits by Nobody: 4:26pm On May 26, 2022 |
Munzy14:teach him abeg! His own is to much |
Re: How To Manage A Spouse With Entirely Different Social Traits by Biglittlelois(f): 3:48pm On May 27, 2022 |
DeutschJunge: I don't really have any experience to share, sorry. 1 Like |
Re: How To Manage A Spouse With Entirely Different Social Traits by DeutschJunge: 7:03pm On Jun 01, 2022 |
JovialJune: Fineness and good genes are two different things. A not so attractive person can go shopping, get some nice fit, a clean hair cut and style himself up and instantly look fine. Someone with good genes on the other had, will always be fine even with very little effort. So yeah, nobody needs to console themselves because fineness is subjective. Look at before and after pics of p.square or Mikel obi. That your friend, I would suggest that you keep being supportive and encourage her. Build trust with her, and slowly carry her along. Don’t threaten to drop or cut her off, she will do it first. Also, don’t force her to be social, it doesn’t come naturally to her. Every being created is fine. 1 Like |
Re: How To Manage A Spouse With Entirely Different Social Traits by DeutschJunge: 7:08pm On Jun 01, 2022 |
NoToPile: You misunderstood what I meant, I meant giving that I don’t like to engage much in conversations, as a married person it would change as I will have to engage more with my spouse but I do not think it will be significantly different from the person I am now. I could be wrong though. On the stiffness, I don’t mean I am full time soldier. I just mean I get flustered easily, and things can fall apart very fast if I don’t have it a planned and structured manner. Basically, I’d rather have things planned and structured than wing it or be completely spontaneous. Also, I am big on respect and I noticed if you too flexible with them females, they go just do “see finish”. Thank you for answering the questions, you were of immerse help and provides some insight into the topic. I wish you and your hubby all the best. |
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