1.

I don't know if this counts but I never did. I don't hate the kid by any means. Never wanted kids, was on birth control, but I was always told it's different when it's your kid. you just magically love them. Well it wasn't different, he was just another kid I had no feelings for. I knew I couldn't be a loving parent a kid needs so he was adopted by a family I know well. They live close and I've seen him grow up but he's just some kid to me.

EDIT: thank you for your kind words. People can be cruel about the other side of adoption sometimes.

EDIT2: I didn't just hand someone a child. I've know them for years and they have another adopted son. They also went through home checks, background checks and regular checkups done by social services. They are his parents I was an incubator

2.

I never wanted to be a dad. I had no plans on ever having kids. Fate had other ideas thanks to hormonal BC not being 100% effective. My son is mildly autistic and has ADHD and has some severe behavior problems. We're talking I have to straddle him while on the floor on his back to keep him from destroying the apartment, hurting us. I always knew I'd hate being a parent but I never knew it would be this bad.

Edit: Thank you for your sympathy. He's only 7 so he's not exactly dangerous right now but I'm really scared of how things will be when he gets older

3.

I have two children and now I love them both dearly. However, it wasn't always that way for my youngest son. I planned my oldest, wanted him, loved him from the moment I knew I was pregnant, and took him everywhere with me except work until he was 2. We were inseparable. We are still very close. Now, my youngest was a surprise, I used protection and it was one night. I considered abortion but couldn't do it. Considered adoption but my family freaked out at the idea, so I kept him. I hated the person his father was and how his father treated, I wanted a girl if I was going to have a child, and didn't want to give up what I had with my oldest. I was selfish. After I had my youngest it got worse. I completely detached, barely picked him up, and didn't take care of him unless I absolutely had to because there was no one else around. It was like this for almost a year, made worse by the fighting with his father. My son reminded me so much of this man who made my life hell. When my met my SO it changed, he got me help, he taught me to love my son and how to teach my son to love back. My child went from being this loner child who hated to be loved on or messed with to being this sweet, generous, amazing kid who can't leave the house without a hug. I would never trade my children for anything in the world, however I wish I could re do that year of my life.

The other side...

4.

I'll just tell my side for my mother. (For clarity, she has admitted all this to me in the past, these aren't assumptions or anything like that)

I was an unplanned/unwanted pregnancy in her teens. She didn't want me from the get go. She would often leave at night, with me in the care of my father, cousin or grandparents and go party. When I was 2, right after my brother was born, our father died in an accident. My mother took this opportunity to leave me with my grandparents after the funeral and just leave, taking my brother with her. Over the next several years I saw her sporadically and for maybe a few hours at a time once a year or so.

Fast forward to when I was teen and I was living with her because she wanted a babysitter for my younger half siblings she came home drunk and I had had the last straw and screamed out, "Why do you hate me??" And she point blank told me it was because I looked, spoke, acted and carried myself just like my father. The thing is, she loved my father with everything she had, she even kept my brother instead of abandoning him because he shared our father's name.

When she was sober, I confronted her again and I told her I wanted the rest of the truth (I just knew there was more) and she didn't even try to pawn it off as her being drunk. She told me the same thing but added on that she never wanted me in the first place, that she felt no connection or bond with me, never had and that I may as well have been someone elses child and with the way things turned out, I may as well have been my grandparents child rather than grandchild. She said she should have listened to her father (my grandfather) when he told her to abort me and that the only reason she didn't was because my father wanted me and she loved him.

This both surprised me but also....not really. Like I knew she felt like this on some level but to actually hear it sort of threw me for a loop. To this day my younger siblings, who I basically raised, do not know me as their sister, they have no idea. My mother has kept it from them, they just assume I'm another relative (likely a cousin) from our massive family. The other thing is that all 5 of my other siblings were also unplanned/unwanted but she treats them like kings and queens, they had the type of bond with her I only ever dreamed about as a child.

5.

never wanted kids (I'm female). My method of birth control (IUD) failed. Although my husband and I do all the normal parental stuff and now have a seemingly normal 3-year old, if I had a time machine or stumbled upon a lamp with a genie in it, I would take a redo.

I used to work in an office with mostly women (just out of college) and I asked a few women with children if they could go back and change it if they would. I assumed they would say no, but they always said, "I love my kids, but I probably would not have had them."

Take it for what it's worth.

6.

I just had a daughter a month ago. She was unplanned, and I told my wife (then girlfriend) that I did not want kids, but she did. She swore up and down she couldn't have kids, but lo and behold here we are. The pregnancy was awful, and now we have what simply must be the single most colicky and fussy baby alive, and she fights her sleep like a MOTHERF**KER. not to mention the post partner depression that my wife is feeling.

I didn't want to marry this girl, but basically felt I had to to support her (I'm military), and I didn't want a kid. I love my daughter more than anything, but the resentment and frustration I feel towards the situation makes me miserable.

Basically, I love my daughter entirely, but she makes my life a living hell. Hope I'm not an awful person for feeling this way.

Hmm this is oyinbo parents version... Nigerian parents version will be Epic

Sorrow

We really don't need their vibes here on nairaland

White nd madness

They sound like young parents..

Waynesteave:
White nd madness

I don't think so...

I don't want to be a mother... Cause I'm scared I wouldn't be able to love the child(ren)... Or give them all they need and deserve... I'll be a lousy parent... I'm too emotional it would make me self-centered and resentful...

Not everyone has it in them...

Silentgroper:
They sound like young parents..

Most are in their thirties to forties... Time doesn't change the way they feel... Makes it worse usually...

The majority of those who commented, their kids are early teens or already adults...

Datboredberri:
Most are in their thirties to forties... Time doesn't change the way they feel... Makes it worse usually...

The majority of those who commented, their kids are early teens or already adults...

7, 2 nd 3 doesnt seem like early teens to me.

Also nothing in d post clarifies d parents to be in their thirties and fourthies respectively... I can bet my balls, they're young parents..

Silentgroper:
7, 2 nd 3 doesnt seem like early teens to me.

Also nothing in d post clarifies d parents to be in their thirties and fourthies respectively... I can bet my balls, they're young parents..

There were hundreds of comments... I'm lazy... Can't continue...

I've created a thread similar to this...

Here's a link to a site... Some comments are there...

https://www.boredpanda.com/reasons-people-dislike-their-children/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=organic

Datboredberri:
I don't think so...

I don't want to be a mother... Cause I'm scared I wouldn't be able to love the child(ren)... Or give them all they need and deserve... I'll be a lousy parent... I'm too emotional it would make me self-centered and resentful...

Not everyone has it in them...

This what u feel right nw..

How would u feel in the years to come esp in old age... That answer would be regrets..

I am scared to have kids in Nigeria

Silentgroper:
This what u feel right nw..

How would u feel in the years to come esp in old age... That answer would be regrets..

That's the thing... I don't want kids cause I'm worried I would be lonely when I'm old...

My kids might not even grow to love me... Or make the sacrifice to stay with me during my last months/days...

We could have a bad relationship...

I don't want to have kids... I'm too messed up... Would only end up ruining their lives and mine...