Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / New
Stats: 2,933,078 members, 7,094,198 topics. Date: Thursday, 29 September 2022 at 07:15 PM

I Find It Difficult To Say NO To People - Family - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / I Find It Difficult To Say NO To People (821 Views)

12 Things To Say No To In Your Marriage / I Find It Difficult To Sleep Alone In A Room Or In A House / I Look Too Young And I Find It Hard To Relate With People (2) (3) (4)

(1) (Reply) (Go Down)

I Find It Difficult To Say NO To People by Francisanointed(m): 4:47am On Jun 12
I arrived at a new house. Passage house(face me I face you house). I just wanted to spend sometime here pending when I have money to rent a self contain. On my arrival,I noticed a lot of people wanted to be my friend but I tread with caution. A lady who cohabits with a guy came to ask me for gas, I gave her. She continued asking for my gas for like a month. She would use my gas to cook fresh meals severally. I couldn't say no because I am Christian and I don't want people putting me in a bad light. She kept using my gas for almost six weeks. Till it finished. Before my gas finished,she will borrow the gas and not return it. After my gas finished, she went to fill 1kg. I was no longer having gas to cook. I used hers to cook about four times and I went to buy gas again. Hers finished,she started using mine again. My gas finished. Yesterday I filled my gas again,she came to borrow gas and this time I lied to her that I borrowed gas from our landlady. She was obviously angry that I didn't give her. This woman is a business person,she has money but she won't spend it. Our co neighbors complained to me that, she always do it when a new person enters the house. Even a young guys who lived in the same house said she did the same thing to him but he stopped her. Another woman too,she did that also . It has become a norms for her.
I don't know how to tell people NO. I can only frown my face to tell you NO but I will still give you that thing.
Re: I Find It Difficult To Say NO To People by Ecos(m): 4:52am On Jun 12
grin U need help ASAP
Re: I Find It Difficult To Say NO To People by haiti007(m): 4:52am On Jun 12
As a Christian, maybe you don’t know that ...

1. Wisdom is profitable to direct
2. My people perish because of lack of knowledge

Know this and know peace...
Besides, how can you be giving out when your mind is not even letting go? There’s no blessings attached to that

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Find It Difficult To Say NO To People by Urheadmaster(m): 5:05am On Jun 12
haiti007:
As a Christian, maybe you don’t know that ...

1. Wisdom is profitable to direct
2. My people perish because of lack of knowledge

Know this and know peace...
Besides, how can you be giving out when your mind is not even letting go? There’s no blessings attached to that

One time I was listening to one preacher.

And he said that the true meaning of giving is when you gave out a belonging that touches your soul

1 Like

Re: I Find It Difficult To Say NO To People by jaymichael(m): 5:21am On Jun 12
Urheadmaster:


One time I was listening to one preacher.

And he said that the true meaning of giving is when you gave out a belonging that touches your soul
2 Corinthians 8:12-13
[12]Whatever you give is acceptable if you give it eagerly. And give according to what you have, not what you don’t have.
[13]Of course, I don’t mean your giving should make life easy for others and hard for yourselves. I only mean that there should be some equality.
(NLT Bible)
Re: I Find It Difficult To Say NO To People by haiti007(m): 5:28am On Jun 12
Urheadmaster:


One time I was listening to one preacher.

And he said that the true meaning of giving is when you gave out a belonging that touches your soul
Sacrificial giving is different, that’s giving out something that moves you yet you can still do without it and not regret of giving.

But here the op is regretting giving out his gas cylinder because he doesn’t have another to use. That’s not giving at all.
Re: I Find It Difficult To Say NO To People by RSVP: 5:35am On Jun 12
You made me remember my old self lol.
Well, I believe most of us are like that at some point until we became wise grin.

It will be unwise to render help that would put you into a regret state of mind. I don't know if that make sense to you.

As I dey like dis ehn I've grown past that stage where you think you can save the world!
Let them hate you or call you stingy but never put yourself in a situation where you will later regret a help you render... Do to them what they will do to you man cool

1 Like

Re: I Find It Difficult To Say NO To People by RSVP: 5:42am On Jun 12
haiti007:

Sacrificial giving is different, that’s giving out something that moves you yet you can still do without it and not regret of giving.

But here the op is regretting giving out his gas cylinder because he doesn’t have another to use. That’s not giving at all.

I have someone that does that too.
He would give his gas out to a neighbor and go hunger strike when the gas finish and his foodstuff go just dey with nothing to cook ham.. Meanwhile this neighbor would start using firewood after she realize d gas don finish... Why can't she use the firewood in the first place??
They would want to appear nice to everyone or maybe they're just being f00lish.

I hate regret in my life.
I don't wanna put my self in that spot anymore.

2 Likes

Re: I Find It Difficult To Say NO To People by God1000(m): 5:46am On Jun 12
I'm exactly like you, but I'm trying to adjust.

People always try to take advantage of my generosity both at home and work.

But the thing is that I will feel very bad if you ask me for help and I refuse, I don't know how to just change.

You can check this my thread below
https://www.nairaland.com/6918015/guys-how-handle-freeloader-neighbor#108962401

1 Like

Re: I Find It Difficult To Say NO To People by haiti007(m): 5:48am On Jun 12
RSVP:


I have someone that does that too.
He would give his gas out to a neighbor and go hunger strike when the gas finish and his foodstuff go just dey with nothing to cook ham.. Meanwhile this neighbor would start using firewood after she realize d gas don finish... Why can't she use the firewood in the first place??
They would want to appear nice to everyone or maybe they're just being f00lish.

I hate regret in my life.
I don't wanna put my self in that spot anymore.

That’s people for you, they tend to take advantage of generous people till they turn they into mean men.

For me, I’d stop giving an individual if I noticed that it’s becoming an entitlement or he/she is taking my generous act for gullibility

1 Like 1 Share

Re: I Find It Difficult To Say NO To People by Richy4(m): 6:02am On Jun 12
grin grin cheesy grin
Christianity has nothing to do with this one... You have to differentiate between parasites and someone who genuinely needed a once off help... There's a thin line between being taken for a fool and being kind.. check your status and correct accordingly..

Read 2 Corinthians 9:7.. the key words there is compulsion.. don't give out of compulsion...
Before you moved in, how has she been cooking?.. there are things that u can't share.. and gas is one of them...

Assuming she was constantly looking for pressing iron, chargers, matchbox or just once off cooking gas due to the fact that she ran out without realising it then fine.. If u can't get rid of her parasitic nature, then pay a girl to do it for u.. a good actress who knows how to say NO..

When she comes and wants her usual, u will act like you wanted to go and bring it out.. the girl will refuse.. she will hear the commotion...
The girl will storm outside and beg her to stop taking her boyfriend's good heart for a ride cheesy

The neighbors will hear... U will pay her for her acting skills... She will do follow up on u for a week just to make it look like u guys were dating... she's capitalising on your magnanimity buddy... I feel bad for you...

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Find It Difficult To Say NO To People by madridguy(m): 6:03am On Jun 12
It is always good to help but the person in question is just taking advantage of you.

3 Likes

Re: I Find It Difficult To Say NO To People by henrimoto(m): 6:20am On Jun 12
RSVP:
You made me remember my old self lol.
Well, I believe most of us are like that at some point until we became wise grin.

It will be unwise to render help that would put you into a regret state of mind. I don't know if that make sense to you.

As I dey like dis ehn I've grown past that stage where you think you can save the world!
Let them hate you or call you stingy but never put yourself in a situation where you will later regret a help you render... Do to them what they will do to you man cool
@ francisanointed, if you 've experienced regret for the help you rendered to someone around, ( it always come with emotional pain) you would know how to say NO to certain persons that want help from you.
Re: I Find It Difficult To Say NO To People by haggai247: 6:24am On Jun 12
Francisanointed:
I arrived at a new house. Passage house(face me I face you house). I just wanted to spend sometime here pending when I have money to rent a self contain. On my arrival,I noticed a lot of people wanted to be my friend but I tread with caution. A lady who cohabits with a guy came to ask me for gas, I gave her. She continued asking for my gas for like a month. She would use my gas to cook fresh meals severally. I couldn't say no because I am Christian and I don't want people putting me in a bad light. She kept using my gas for almost six weeks. Till it finished. Before my gas finished,she will borrow the gas and not return it. After my gas finished, she went to fill 1kg. I was no longer having gas to cook. I used hers to cook about four times and I went to buy gas again. Hers finished,she started using mine again. My gas finished. Yesterday I filled my gas again,she came to borrow gas and this time I lied to her that I borrowed gas from our landlady. She was obviously angry that I didn't give her. This woman is a business person,she has money but she won't spend it. Our co neighbors complained to me that, she always do it when a new person enters the house. Even a young guys who lived in the same house said she did the same thing to him but he stopped her. Another woman too,she did that also . It has become a norms for her.
I don't know how to tell people NO. I can only frown my face to tell you NO but I will still give you that thing.

You don't do things to please people people pleaser never amount to anything be it relationship marriage or friendship you will be used over and over until you are no longer relevant.

I learned the hard way after spending money and time in "Angola"
Here's your reading list
No bs ruthless management for fun and profit for entrepreneur by dan Kennedy.

Charlatans forgotten the name of the author but it was about a doctor who sold goat testicles as remedy for impotence.

Learn the hard way or make a new habits totis tist

1 Like

Re: I Find It Difficult To Say NO To People by dominique(f): 6:26am On Jun 12
The day you say NO to such people, they overlook all the good you've done and focus on that particular instance. I know the limit of help I can render to people, once you overstep your boundary I shut you down asap. Recently a neighbourhood acquaintance that I sometimes buy stuff from came to tell me that the unstable light had damaged her freezer and asked if I can help keep her zobo in mine. I said no problem. I had to clear my freezer to keep her zobo at the bottom so it can get chilled quick. By the next day,most of the zobo were frozen and I asked her to come and pick them. She was very happy and grateful. A few days later, she brought another set of zobo and I kept them at the bottom of my freezer again. By the 2nd 3rd days we had light issue but her zobo was still chilled, I was wondering she wasn't why she wasn't coming to pick them till I started seeing strange people at my doorstep saying that she directed them to come and collect zobo from me. Omo I para o. By the time I saw her, I told her the agreement was to keep her zobo chilled not turn me into her sales girl. I told her to come and collect her zobo and keep them in a cooler. The blocked ones will keep the others chilled for at least 24 hours. She started grumbling to herself but I no send. Ever since then she has been carrying face whenever she sees me, it's like she wasn't informed that I no send anybody's papa. In this life, if you don't offend people you will offend yourself. Help if or when you can but if it's at the expense of your convenience, don't hesitate to say NO!

11 Likes

Re: I Find It Difficult To Say NO To People by Kimiso(m): 6:44am On Jun 12
Especially those ones who wouldn't lend you theirs for just a minute but would want to die on yours,..i also have a brother like that even an ordinary charger and his ear bud of his you can't use,..but he can use yours countless times without even feeling remorseful,..but now the beast in me is already awake,he would ask and i would frownfully lend or lend not'atall

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Find It Difficult To Say NO To People by Nobody: 7:04am On Jun 12
Ok

3 Likes

Re: I Find It Difficult To Say NO To People by frozen70(f): 1:09pm On Jun 12
Francisanointed:
I arrived at a new house. Passage house(face me I face you house). I just wanted to spend sometime here pending when I have money to rent a self contain. On my arrival,I noticed a lot of people wanted to be my friend but I tread with caution. A lady who cohabits with a guy came to ask me for gas, I gave her. She continued asking for my gas for like a month. She would use my gas to cook fresh meals severally. I couldn't say no because I am Christian and I don't want people putting me in a bad light. She kept using my gas for almost six weeks. Till it finished. Before my gas finished,she will borrow the gas and not return it. After my gas finished, she went to fill 1kg. I was no longer having gas to cook. I used hers to cook about four times and I went to buy gas again. Hers finished,she started using mine again. My gas finished. Yesterday I filled my gas again,she came to borrow gas and this time I lied to her that I borrowed gas from our landlady. She was obviously angry that I didn't give her. This woman is a business person,she has money but she won't spend it. Our co neighbors complained to me that, she always do it when a new person enters the house. Even a young guys who lived in the same house said she did the same thing to him but he stopped her. Another woman too,she did that also . It has become a norms for her.
I don't know how to tell people NO. I can only frown my face to tell you NO but I will still give you that thing.

Continue, Mr Nice guy

When your mumu don do, you go get sense bye force

1 Like

Re: I Find It Difficult To Say NO To People by henrimoto(m): 1:20pm On Jun 12
dominique:
The day you say NO to such people, they overlook all the good you've done and focus on that particular instance. I know the limit of help I can render to people, once you overstep your boundary I shut you down asap. Recently a neighbourhood acquaintance that I sometimes buy stuff from came to tell me that the unstable light had damaged her freezer and asked if I can help keep her zobo in mine. I said no problem. I had to clear my freezer to keep her zobo at the bottom so it can get chilled quick. By the next day,most of the zobo were frozen and I asked her to come and pick them. She was very happy and grateful. A few days later, she brought another set of zobo and I kept them at the bottom of my freezer again. By the 2nd 3rd days we had light issue but her zobo was still chilled, I was wondering she wasn't why she wasn't coming to pick them till I started seeing strange people at my doorstep saying that she directed them to come and collect zobo from me. Omo I para o. By the time I saw her, I told her the agreement was to keep her zobo chilled not turn me into her sales girl. I told her to come and collect her zobo and keep them in a cooler. The blocked ones will keep the others chilled for at least 24 hours. She started grumbling to herself but I no send. Ever since then she has been carrying face whenever she sees me, it's like she wasn't informed that I no send anybody's papa. In this life, if you don't offend people you will offend yourself. Help if or when you can but if it's at the expense of your convenience, don't hesitate to say NO!
Re: I Find It Difficult To Say NO To People by iamyemiakins(m): 3:38pm On Jun 12
dominique:
The day you say NO to such people, they overlook all the good you've done and focus on that particular instance. I know the limit of help I can render to people, once you overstep your boundary I shut you down asap. Recently a neighbourhood acquaintance that I sometimes buy stuff from came to tell me that the unstable light had damaged her freezer and asked if I can help keep her zobo in mine. I said no problem. I had to clear my freezer to keep her zobo at the bottom so it can get chilled quick. By the next day,most of the zobo were frozen and I asked her to come and pick them. She was very happy and grateful. A few days later, she brought another set of zobo and I kept them at the bottom of my freezer again. By the 2nd 3rd days we had light issue but her zobo was still chilled, I was wondering she wasn't why she wasn't coming to pick them till I started seeing strange people at my doorstep saying that she directed them to come and collect zobo from me. Omo I para o. By the time I saw her, I told her the agreement was to keep her zobo chilled not turn me into her sales girl. I told her to come and collect her zobo and keep them in a cooler. The blocked ones will keep the others chilled for at least 24 hours. She started grumbling to herself but I no send. Ever since then she has been carrying face whenever she sees me, it's like she wasn't informed that I no send anybody's papa. In this life, if you don't offend people you will offend yourself. Help if or when you can but if it's at the expense of your convenience, don't hesitate to say NO!

Re: I Find It Difficult To Say NO To People by Francisanointed(m): 3:51pm On Jun 12
Thank you everyone for your contribution. She is carrying face. Her face can't change anything. NO is the best answer right now. Gas is 800 per 1kg
Re: I Find It Difficult To Say NO To People by Richy4(m): 4:34pm On Jun 12
Francisanointed:
Thank you everyone for your contribution. She is carrying face. Her face can't change anything. NO is the best answer right now. Gas is 800 per 1kg
So that means u have said No
Congratulations!!!! grin... How did this miracle happen?... Again how does your first No make you feel?
Re: I Find It Difficult To Say NO To People by Nobody: 6:24pm On Jun 12
You should know it is inherent in humans to always take a "mile" when given an "inch". You must know when to draw the lines. Else you pay dearly for it.
Nobody send you, you must look out for yourself first.
Re: I Find It Difficult To Say NO To People by ibechris(m): 6:36pm On Jun 12
May God bless u to leave that place as quickly as possible...

That is where I would not like to see my enemy.

Terrible!
Re: I Find It Difficult To Say NO To People by jesmond3945: 10:29pm On Jun 12
Francisanointed:
I arrived at a new house. Passage house(face me I face you house). I just wanted to spend sometime here pending when I have money to rent a self contain. On my arrival,I noticed a lot of people wanted to be my friend but I tread with caution. A lady who cohabits with a guy came to ask me for gas, I gave her. She continued asking for my gas for like a month. She would use my gas to cook fresh meals severally. I couldn't say no because I am Christian and I don't want people putting me in a bad light. She kept using my gas for almost six weeks. Till it finished. Before my gas finished,she will borrow the gas and not return it. After my gas finished, she went to fill 1kg. I was no longer having gas to cook. I used hers to cook about four times and I went to buy gas again. Hers finished,she started using mine again. My gas finished. Yesterday I filled my gas again,she came to borrow gas and this time I lied to her that I borrowed gas from our landlady. She was obviously angry that I didn't give her. This woman is a business person,she has money but she won't spend it. Our co neighbors complained to me that, she always do it when a new person enters the house. Even a young guys who lived in the same house said she did the same thing to him but he stopped her. Another woman too,she did that also . It has become a norms for her.
I don't know how to tell people NO. I can only frown my face to tell you NO but I will still give you that thing.
i am not saying you should take my own opinion but i have found out that humans are selfish to the core and the best is to put your interest number one. You would be shocked the things that your neighbour says behind you. If you think i am lying just try to eavesdrop her conversations. You would also be shocked that she has more money than you but pretends to be broke so that she can eat from you. Tell her to bring money and add so that you can buy gas. Tell her you are broke.
Also, it seems you are a people pleaser. You like serving other interest against your own. You would never move forward with this mindset.
Re: I Find It Difficult To Say NO To People by Francisanointed(m): 5:19am On Jun 14
She came and ask for my gas again that she wants to use it to warm food,I gave her because she had visitors,the next day,her visitor requested for my gas,I opted a NO and in the evening her husband asked for my gas to boil indomie,I just gave him a flimsy excuse. I avoid the both of them now like a plague. I know I am a Christian but I just believe that if I don't take this seriously now,they are going to continue to be irresponsible by not buying gas. Since I came to this house,in the last two months,they have not buy gas up to 3times. They use mine all the time. Gas is on a high side now. I put on a frown face when i see the both of them. Am I taking it too far?
Re: I Find It Difficult To Say NO To People by Francisanointed(m): 5:20am On Jun 14
The reason I put on a frown face is because if I smile or laugh with them,they will ask for gas again.
Re: I Find It Difficult To Say NO To People by Dailyparrot: 5:40am On Jun 14
Francisanointed:
The reason I put on a frown face is because if I smile or laugh with them,they will ask for gas again.

Don't develop wrinkles bro because of your neighbors grin

Like a fellow prayed for you, I don't pray that you live in such house too long. Nobody deserves to live in such a shanty.

The only assistance I render to neighbors is allowing them to charge their phones when my generator is on.

I intentionally don't fraternize with people wherever I live to avoid this kind of attitude, unfounded gossips, and avoidable allegations.
Re: I Find It Difficult To Say NO To People by Francisanointed(m): 6:58am On Jun 14
Dailyparrot:


Don't develop wrinkles bro because of your neighbors grin

Like a fellow prayed for you, I don't pray that you live in such house too long. Nobody deserves to live in such a shanty.

The only assistance I render to neighbors is allowing them to charge their phones when my generator is on.

I intentionally don't fraternize with people wherever I live to avoid this kind of attitude, unfounded gossips, and avoidable allegations.

Amen thanks bro

(1) (Reply)

When Some Women Got Pregnant They Become Very Sexy / Christmas Presents / Theres No More Integrity In Nigeria's Mbgn

(Go Up)

Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health
religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket

Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10)

Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2022 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 229
Disclaimer: Every Nairaland member is solely responsible for anything that he/she posts or uploads on Nairaland.