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I Raised My Hands To My Husband. Help by Demobbb: 9:24am On Jun 19, 2022
Help me please. Me & my husband got into an argument. He said something that made me think he is putting a female friend’s feeling over mine

I guess i got so jeolosy & so angry withought thinking my immediate response was to raise my hand as it to throw something i was holding at him. I quickly realised what i was about to do & i stopped myself. I didnt hit him.

He was shocked too & he just said what kind of a wife is this. He also stated that action shows that i dont value him. I apologised yesterday but i woke up today feeling regret, and shame. Should i apologise again? But then the initial argurment i still feel like he was in the wrong?

***** Decided to add more Context***
A friend asked if my husband can provide a reference for a project shes doing.

my husband is normally busy & i gave her an excuse & said im not sure he will be able to do so.
I then mentioned this to my husband a few days later in passing and told him that she was asking for a reference but i had given an excuse.

The next day whilst at work he then texted me saying its ok she can bring the reference forms and he will sign them. Which i even replied are you sure please dont stress yourself. He then said her own family had provided us with references when needed so its ok he didnt mind but she should bring all necessary docs.

She then went to my hubbys office with her brother to get the forms signed. My husband signed them. She sent a message thanking me.

When my hubby came home he was unhappy because she didnt bring all required documents & there was a part he was unhappy with.

I then said why didnt you tell her if you where unhappy. Why did you sign. He then kept saying you brought this person to me its your fault.

I took my phone and texted her to edit the part that my husband was unhappy with. She responded saying fine she will edit.

But my husband was still not happy & was shouting at me that it was my fault. I then told him its ok let me just tell her not to use him as a reference anymore.

My husband then kept saying no dont send the message “YOU WANT ME TO LOOK BAD” & stopped me from sending the text. This is when withought thinking i raised my hand as if to throw the phone at him. Which i instantly regretted and still do. I apologised twice but now he wont talk to me & refused to eat .

My marriage means so much to me. We have come a long way from not having a cent , gave up my career to support his own career, raise our kids. Now he is a successful man . But i feel its now in vain.

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Re: I Raised My Hands To My Husband. Help by money121(m): 9:31am On Jun 19, 2022
Demobbb:
Help me please. Me & my husband got into an argument. He said something that made me think he is putting a female friend’s feeling over mine

I guess i got so jeolosy & so angry withought thinking my immediate response was to raise my hand as it to throw something i was holding at him. I quickly realised what i was about to do & i stopped myself. I didnt hit him.

He was shocked too & he just said what kind of a wife is this. He also stated that action shows that i dont value him. I apologised yesterday but i woke up today feeling regret, and shame. Should i apologise again? But then the initial argurment i still feel like he was in the wrong?

My marriage means so much to me. We have come a long way from not having a cent , gave up my career to support his own career, raise our kids. Now he is a successful man . But i feel its now in vain.
If your marriage means so much to you, Just apologies again
But so sure he av forgive you
And next tym try to control your temper it help alot
Your Union will not scatter oo

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Re: I Raised My Hands To My Husband. Help by ahnie: 9:35am On Jun 19, 2022
Apologize again as the oga above me said.








Pls note....ignore anybody that would tell you not to apologize again.

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Re: I Raised My Hands To My Husband. Help by WatchYourSix: 9:41am On Jun 19, 2022
Ordinary apology....u have to come and ask strangers...why apologies dey hard women??

You Women are too emotional..
there's no time i would offend my girlfriend that she will not use emotions to scatter everything and end up being the bigger offender...
say simple sorry..she will not gree...she will now start posting dodo and catfish on her whatsapp status to bribe me to come to her place....

13 Likes

Re: I Raised My Hands To My Husband. Help by incandescentena: 9:43am On Jun 19, 2022
undecided

(feminism is entering your head abi?)

Don't behalf like all those feminist in Nairaland.

Fellow woman, Apologize again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again....then cook him his favorite meal both you enjoy it together.


You can initiate one hot love making session later on to top the day!


Ps: Don't treat your husband the way he doesn't disrespect you.

If he treats you nicely, no matter the argument or issue, respect and value him like he does to you

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Re: I Raised My Hands To My Husband. Help by LogicBomb8: 9:47am On Jun 19, 2022
You still dont feel it is right to apologise to your husband? dont allow dis your mumu pride to destroy your marriage

2 Likes

Re: I Raised My Hands To My Husband. Help by airminem(f): 10:00am On Jun 19, 2022
incandescentena:
undecided

(feminism is entering your head abi?)

Don't behalf like all those feminist in Nairaland.

Fellow woman, Apologize again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again....then cook him his favorite meal both you enjoy it together.


You can initiate one hot love making session later on to top the day!


Ps: Don't treat your husband the way he doesn't disrespect you.

If he treats you nicely, no matter the argument or issue, respect and value him like he does to you

That feminist part got me.....cheesy

BTW Simple apology with all honesty will set your conscience free and you will be happy again.

Go on!

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Raised My Hands To My Husband. Help by Richy4(m): 10:01am On Jun 19, 2022
U have apologized yesterday, if u wanna apologize again, it should have followed immediately u said your good morning... And it should have come from the heart without asking people..

It's passed 9:00am in Nigeria I guess..U guys have said your good mornings already... Apologies is not necessary now in my opinion... Demonstrating how remorseful u are should be what's on your mind right now...

Honey, what would you like to eat?.. Would u like me to run your bath?.. would u like scrambled eggs or poached eggs for breakfast? Etc .... and today is father's day, so make the best out of it.. cool

4 Likes

Re: I Raised My Hands To My Husband. Help by godofuck231: 10:02am On Jun 19, 2022
Demobbb:
Help me please. Me & my husband got into an argument. He said something that made me think he is putting a female friend’s feeling over mine

I guess i got so jeolosy & so angry withought thinking my immediate response was to raise my hand as it to throw something i was holding at him. I quickly realised what i was about to do & i stopped myself. I didnt hit him.

He was shocked too & he just said what kind of a wife is this. He also stated that action shows that i dont value him. I apologised yesterday but i woke up today feeling regret, and shame. Should i apologise again? But then the initial argurment i still feel like he was in the wrong?

My marriage means so much to me. We have come a long way from not having a cent , gave up my career to support his own career, raise our kids. Now he is a successful man . But i feel its now in vain.
its not in vain , its just pressure, don't let women who have broken homes advice you to the sewer, they themselves are not happy seeing you happy in your marriage , just like any relationship there are ups and downs , this is just a down time, dosent mean the world has ended, he will get past this and you should not relent in your duties , dont worry na so we men be , nothing inside that house be our own , na only you and the kids and his pride that he can call his own, take one away he's left with nothing, even the small 40m in his account has no value compared to this two mentioned.

Go back to your duties and work on your looks , I hope you get nyash o, because he will soon come and check on his investment growth .
I dont know if this works for him but it does for me , try force feeding him

2 Likes

Re: I Raised My Hands To My Husband. Help by endsarrrs(f): 10:04am On Jun 19, 2022
Demobbb:
Help me please. Me & my husband got into an argument. He said something that made me think he is putting a female friend’s feeling over mine

I guess i got so jeolosy & so angry withought thinking my immediate response was to raise my hand as it to throw something i was holding at him. I quickly realised what i was about to do & i stopped myself. I didnt hit him.

He was shocked too & he just said what kind of a wife is this. He also stated that action shows that i dont value him. I apologised yesterday but i woke up today feeling regret, and shame. Should i apologise again? But then the initial argurment i still feel like he was in the wrong?

My marriage means so much to me. We have come a long way from not having a cent , gave up my career to support his own career, raise our kids. Now he is a successful man . But i feel its now in vain.

I know You were angry and provoked. Sometimes it happens to humans that way....just try to control your emotions so you wont cause more than what was on ground


Respect is golden to both partners

1 Like

Re: I Raised My Hands To My Husband. Help by Toktee(m): 10:09am On Jun 19, 2022
Demobbb:
Help me please. Me & my husband got into an argument. He said something that made me think he is putting a female friend’s feeling over mine

I guess i got so jeolosy & so angry withought thinking my immediate response was to raise my hand as it to throw something i was holding at him. I quickly realised what i was about to do & i stopped myself. I didnt hit him.

He was shocked too & he just said what kind of a wife is this. He also stated that action shows that i dont value him. I apologised yesterday but i woke up today feeling regret, and shame. Should i apologise again? But then the initial argurment i still feel like he was in the wrong?

My marriage means so much to me. We have come a long way from not having a cent , gave up my career to support his own career, raise our kids. Now he is a successful man . But i feel its now in vain.
Madam you are too jealous and insecure.


The best way to know that he's not cheating is to believe he's not cheating.


The devil was about to scatter your home but God intervene.


My friend tried that to her husband today the marriage is over.

1 Like

Re: I Raised My Hands To My Husband. Help by Mindlog: 10:10am On Jun 19, 2022
WatchYourSix:
Ordinary apology....u have to come and ask strangers...why apologies dey hard women??

You Women are too emotional..
there's no time i would offend my girlfriend that she will not use emotions to scatter everything and end up being the bigger offender...
say simple sorry..she will not gree...she will now start posting dodo and catfish on her whatsapp status to bribe me to come to her place....

And do you eventually go to her place for the dodo and catfish? cheesy

2 Likes

Re: I Raised My Hands To My Husband. Help by Rubbiish(m): 10:14am On Jun 19, 2022
Demobbb:

I guess i got so jeolosy & so angry withought thinking my immediate response was to raise my hand as it to throw something i was holding at him.
U were angry to want to throw something at your husband?? When he didn't touch u? If it was your father or buhari that insulted u, even in your anger will u dare throw something at them? & now u come here to ask if u should apologize again? It is very simple, u don't respect that man at all. For u to have the guts to want to throw something at him tells a lot, even if we advice u to apologize, u won't, because u feel he is not worthy of your multiple apology. If u respect & value him, u wouldn't dare throw something at him, u will talk back, not throw something at him. That is the highest form of disrespect a man can get from his wife.

2 Likes

Re: I Raised My Hands To My Husband. Help by Richy4(m): 10:29am On Jun 19, 2022
Rubbiish:

U were angry to want to throw something at your husband?? When he didn't touch u? If it was your father or buhari that insulted u, even in your anger will u dare throw something at them? & now u come here to ask if u should apologize again? It is very simple, u don't respect that man at all. For u to have the guts to want to throw something at him tells a lot, even if we advice u to apologize, u won't, because u feel he is not worthy of your multiple apology. If u respect & value him, u wouldn't dare throw something at him, u will talk back, not throw something at him. That is the highest form of disrespect a man can get from his wife.
grin grin grin
just imagine her throwing Pen or office eraser at her annoying bosses in her place of work. And the reactions of HRs grin

10 Likes

Re: I Raised My Hands To My Husband. Help by WatchYourSix: 10:29am On Jun 19, 2022
Mindlog:


And do you eventually go to her place for the dodo and catfish? cheesy

Dodo and catfish na 9 unit course ooo...
Carry over is disastrous ... grin
Re: I Raised My Hands To My Husband. Help by frozen70(f): 10:46am On Jun 19, 2022
Demobbb:
Help me please. Me & my husband got into an argument. He said something that made me think he is putting a female friend’s feeling over mine

I guess i got so jeolosy & so angry withought thinking my immediate response was to raise my hand as it to throw something i was holding at him. I quickly realised what i was about to do & i stopped myself. I didnt hit him.

He was shocked too & he just said what kind of a wife is this. He also stated that action shows that i dont value him. I apologised yesterday but i woke up today feeling regret, and shame. Should i apologise again? But then the initial argurment i still feel like he was in the wrong?

My marriage means so much to me. We have come a long way from not having a cent , gave up my career to support his own career, raise our kids. Now he is a successful man . But i feel its now in vain.

Whatever that made you raise your hand, Wether you hear him or not, is as a result of provocation which you would have avoided no matter the anger

Now you have to keep apologising until your conscience frees you

Become more loving and caring to win his heart back, if you know that you still value him and the marriage

1 Like

Re: I Raised My Hands To My Husband. Help by Nobody: 11:12am On Jun 19, 2022
.

1 Like

Re: I Raised My Hands To My Husband. Help by incandescentena: 11:45am On Jun 19, 2022
Demobbb:
Help me please. Me & my husband got into an argument. He said something that made me think he is putting a female friend’s feeling over mine

I guess i got so jeolosy & so angry withought thinking my immediate response was to raise my hand as it to throw something i was holding at him. I quickly realised what i was about to do & i stopped myself. I didnt hit him.

He was shocked too & he just said what kind of a wife is this. He also stated that action shows that i dont value him. I apologised yesterday but i woke up today feeling regret, and shame. Should i apologise again? But then the initial argurment i still feel like he was in the wrong?

My marriage means so much to me. We have come a long way from not having a cent , gave up my career to support his own career, raise our kids. Now he is a successful man . But i feel its now in vain.
Don't give up on him okay
Re: I Raised My Hands To My Husband. Help by Ekejoestar(m): 11:52am On Jun 19, 2022
I think both of you need to see a therapist.

1 Like

Re: I Raised My Hands To My Husband. Help by ugolightswel1: 1:30pm On Jun 19, 2022
Of a truth the main reason you took it to that extent unknowingly was because the sacrifice you, as a virtuous woman helped your husband in producing good results for a better home, is constantly being thought by you now as a waste especially to him alone.
Why.

See that family as yours and not just ours

1 Like

Re: I Raised My Hands To My Husband. Help by GboyegaD(m): 1:36pm On Jun 19, 2022
Apologize to him and try to have a real and extensive discussion around the incident so that the root cause can be resolved.

Also, try to consciously guard and guide your thoughts.

1 Like

Re: I Raised My Hands To My Husband. Help by kapelvej: 1:58pm On Jun 19, 2022
Demobbb:
Help me please. Me & my husband got into an argument. He said something that made me think he is putting a female friend’s feeling over mine

I guess i got so jeolosy & so angry withought thinking my immediate response was to raise my hand as it to throw something i was holding at him. I quickly realised what i was about to do & i stopped myself. I didnt hit him.

He was shocked too & he just said what kind of a wife is this. He also stated that action shows that i dont value him. I apologised yesterday but i woke up today feeling regret, and shame. Should i apologise again? But then the initial argurment i still feel like he was in the wrong?

My marriage means so much to me. We have come a long way from not having a cent , gave up my career to support his own career, raise our kids. Now he is a successful man . But i feel its now in vain.
Well I have a contrary opinion to others. You are indeed a good woman for even realizing that you are wrong and trying to make amends. God keep you strong to keep doing the right things

2 Likes

Re: I Raised My Hands To My Husband. Help by efficiencie(m): 2:14pm On Jun 19, 2022
Demobbb:
Help me please. Me & my husband got into an argument. He said something that made me think he is putting a female friend’s feeling over mine

I guess i got so jeolosy & so angry withought thinking my immediate response was to raise my hand as it to throw something i was holding at him. I quickly realised what i was about to do & i stopped myself. I didnt hit him.

He was shocked too & he just said what kind of a wife is this. He also stated that action shows that i dont value him. I apologised yesterday but i woke up today feeling regret, and shame. Should i apologise again? But then the initial argurment i still feel like he was in the wrong?

My marriage means so much to me. We have come a long way from not having a cent , gave up my career to support his own career, raise our kids. Now he is a successful man . But i feel its now in vain.

Did he force you to give up your career to support him? If the answer is no then stop using your support as a cheap blackmail tactic. Did he force you to accept his marriage proposal? If the answer is no then stop whining about the challenges in your marriage and fix them. If you feel your contributions to the success of your marriage is now in vain then I feel sorry for you...your options are to seek a divorce or to keep fixing your marriage. If you choose the former good for you. You will become a single mother, with nothing to support your kids if your husband turns out to be a scam. If you choose the later perhaps you can salvage what is left.

Marriage is not for the faint of heart...if you cannot bear the heat of marriage it is better to remain single.

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Raised My Hands To My Husband. Help by 1Sharon(f): 5:06pm On Jun 19, 2022
All these men need to stop provoking women. He brought it on himself, he should be the one to apologise to you.


Many men are beaten by their wives because of their stubbornness, not every woman has self control.
Re: I Raised My Hands To My Husband. Help by ImaIma1(f): 5:08pm On Jun 19, 2022
Do something special for him to say that you are truly sorry.
Re: I Raised My Hands To My Husband. Help by JONNYSPUTE(m): 5:24pm On Jun 19, 2022
1Sharon:
All these men need to stop provoking women. He brought it on himself, he should be the one to apologise to you.


Many men are beaten by their wives because of their stubbornness, not every woman has self control.
..... Hehehehe. You just want to start gender war here abi?


OP. Biko apologize again and again until he calms down. I don't want to dabble into career sikwa osiroo.
Re: I Raised My Hands To My Husband. Help by Saintmary(f): 7:12pm On Jun 19, 2022
Demobbb:
Help me please. Me & my husband got into an argument. He said something that made me think he is putting a female friend’s feeling over mine

I guess i got so jeolosy & so angry withought thinking my immediate response was to raise my hand as it to throw something i was holding at him. I quickly realised what i was about to do & i stopped myself. I didnt hit him.

He was shocked too & he just said what kind of a wife is this. He also stated that action shows that i dont value him. I apologised yesterday but i woke up today feeling regret, and shame. Should i apologise again? But then the initial argurment i still feel like he was in the wrong?

My marriage means so much to me. We have come a long way from not having a cent , gave up my career to support his own career, raise our kids. Now he is a successful man . But i feel its now in vain.


Sweetheart, why did you play yourself into a corner like this?


Why did you sacrifice more than your energy and tolerance can handle?


Why did you put yourself last?


Jesus Christ already gave His Life, who asked you to be the Messiah?




Was it the sweet sweet words he was telling you?


What exactly did he promise you to make you give up your own life?



You go on social media everyday, you read stories of betrayal but you thought it can never happen to you.



Your darling is the angel you are lucky to marry, he's so different from the rest.



Now you are gradually becoming the angry woman, bitter, jealous, and you're resorting to violence to get your voice heard.


What do you want us to do now?

How do you want us to tell him to toe your line?



Apologize to him but deal with the underlying issues so you can take back the life you threw away so carelessly.


1. Dust your certificates

2. Learn a skill

3. Get a job no matter how small and start from there.


It will not be a joy ride but your little accomplishments will make your life fuller.


Good luck.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: I Raised My Hands To My Husband. Help by seanwilliam(m): 10:34pm On Jun 19, 2022
Don’t apologize, he must collect,
Why e go Dey frustrate you like that ?
Next time , just slap him and leave the house, he’ll come begging you on his kneel,
Some men are annoying ..


Nonsense !!
Re: I Raised My Hands To My Husband. Help by freddie009(m): 10:48pm On Jun 19, 2022
Demobbb:
Help me please. Me & my husband got into an argument. He said something that made me think he is putting a female friend’s feeling over mine

I guess i got so jeolosy & so angry withought thinking my immediate response was to raise my hand as it to throw something i was holding at him. I quickly realised what i was about to do & i stopped myself. I didnt hit him.

He was shocked too & he just said what kind of a wife is this. He also stated that action shows that i dont value him. I apologised yesterday but i woke up today feeling regret, and shame. Should i apologise again? But then the initial argurment i still feel like he was in the wrong?

My marriage means so much to me. We have come a long way from not having a cent , gave up my career to support his own career, raise our kids. Now he is a successful man . But i feel its now in vain.

Guys hope you can learn, make such she makes sacrifices in the relationship. She will find it difficult to leave.
Re: I Raised My Hands To My Husband. Help by Reasonwithme2(m): 10:52pm On Jun 19, 2022
Demobbb:
Help me please. Me & my husband got into an argument. He said something that made me think he is putting a female friend’s feeling over mine

I guess i got so jeolosy & so angry withought thinking my immediate response was to raise my hand as it to throw something i was holding at him. I quickly realised what i was about to do & i stopped myself. I didnt hit him.

He was shocked too & he just said what kind of a wife is this. He also stated that action shows that i dont value him. I apologised yesterday but i woke up today feeling regret, and shame. Should i apologise again? But then the initial argurment i still feel like he was in the wrong?

My marriage means so much to me. We have come a long way from not having a cent , gave up my career to support his own career, raise our kids. Now he is a successful man . But i feel its now in vain.

I don't care about who is at fault... My only problem here is your last paragraph.. when you begin to harbor such thoughts, you are digging the foundation of your marriage. Once in marriage everything should be centered around family. FAMILY FIRST! And if you regret what you did or you feel it's now in vain, then when an issue comes up, you'd start thinking of solutions outside marriage rather than settling it inside marriage.
Look at the popular actress SHOLA SOBOWALE. She gave up her acting career when she was at her peak for family. Now she's back in the industry doing better than some others that have been there.

Repeat after me! Family over everything.
I will not harbor such regretful thoughts.
I will do everything possible to make my family work
I will not plan any back up plans Incase my marriage doesn't work.
So help me God..

Reason with me too

1 Like

Re: I Raised My Hands To My Husband. Help by ChrisN3: 12:27am On Jun 20, 2022
[quote author=Demobbb post=113946403]Help me please. Me & my husband got into an argument. He said something that made me think he is putting a female friend’s feeling over mine

I guess i got so jeolosy & so angry withought thinking my immediate response was to raise my hand as it to throw something i was holding at him. I quickly realised what i was about to do & i stopped myself. I didnt hit him.

He was shocked too & he just said what kind of a wife is this. He also stated that action shows that i dont value him. I apologised yesterday but i woke up today feeling regret, and shame. Should i apologise again? But then the initial argurment i still feel like he was in the wrong?

My marriage means so much to me. We have come a long way from not having a cent , gave up my career to support his own career, raise our kids. Now he is a successful man . But i feel its now in vain.

Apologize again. Make him know how bad you feel. Give him a treat. Pull up his ego. Men have a lot of ego....massage it very well
Re: I Raised My Hands To My Husband. Help by Kobojunkie: 4:03am On Jun 20, 2022
Demobbb:
He was shocked too & he just said what kind of a wife is this. He also stated that action shows that i dont value him. I apologised yesterday but i woke up today feeling regret, and shame. Should i apologise again? But then the initial argurment i still feel like he was in the wrong?

My marriage means so much to me. We have come a long way from not having a cent , gave up my career to support his own career, raise our kids. Now he is a successful man . But i feel its now in vain.
There is nothing wrong with feeling guilty about loosing your cool the way you did, even better that you feel you need to apologize again for letting your emotions get the better of you. So go ahead and do so to get that out and resolved. undecided

As for the main issue which you believe remains unresolved between you two, you can also let him know what you still think about that so that you are both remains on the table in need of a resolution. undecided

As for the portion of your right up in bold, you probably want to look within yourself to find out what is missing from your life and in need of resolving. You claim you sacrificed all to have a family.... you did all that for your own benefit, not for anyone else's mind you. If you still feel unfulfilled, then you should probably change tactic... take classes, find a job, open a business etc. Your happiness as a human being, an individual, should lie in your hands, not in the hands of others, even your family.. undecided

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