Somebody help me before I lose my mind.

I've been with this guy for some time now.
When he first approached me, I wasn't too down with the idea of having a relationship with him, which I made clear to him. Though I had my reservations about him, which was his height but didn't let him know. Also, that time, there was this pharmacist (i shared about him some years ago) I was hoping would come open with his proposal to date me but he got ego and was using me to catch Cruise. As in.. each time I visited the pharmacy where he works, he'll be forming and acting like he didn't see me until I'm set to leave, he'll then want to block my way and turn everything to joke. saying.. " you don't want to marry fine boy abi? So I just parked him aside since he was not serious.

This other guy kept pestering me and was always calling. Suddenly, I began to like and miss him. Then he popped the question again and I was like... Ok, let's see how it goes.
We started seeing each other.

Along the line, people started saying all sorts like, she doesn't love this guy. It's because no man is forthcoming that is why she settled for him bla bla.. which is not true.

Now they said it until it got to my baby. Since then, he's been withdrawn. He said I don't really love him. that those people might be right. He was just saying all that and after trying to convince him that I do without any success, I got angry and left. We didn't talk for three days.

I missed him so much and so I called and he told me I'm only pretending that I don't love him because he's short, he's not my spec and all that balderdash. I tried talking him out of it but he wouldn't hear me out.

Seriously, I love him. The way the love developed overnight is still a mystery to me but I do. I'm tired of explaining and begging.

How can I convince him that I sincerely love him. I've really emanciated since he started all these drama. He even saw me recently and was like it's the pharmacy guy I'm missing, not him. .

I posted a happy pics on my status on Friday with my students and he said, moving on without me, yeah?. Ok, I called him, he refused to pick. Later he texted me that, at my age, I should know better than to be posting happy pics when someone somewhere is not feeling fine.
I replied, who's not feeling fine? Then he went, I said it! You don't love me. You don't care! Maybe if I were taller, things would have been different

Here's someone who refused to pick my calls turning around to accuse me.

Please, how can I let him know I really care about him. I'm tired! I want to settle down with him this year but this sudden act of his doesn't look promising.

He may be right They may be right action speaks louder than words may be your actions are different from your words.

If you're being sincere about what you feel for him, then you need to be patient with him while you show him in anyway you can. He probably has been rejected in the past, if that's it, he needs to get over it or he ends up developing trust issue.

Meanwhile, o.p, I believe you are matured enough to know whatever you are feeling for him will one day die off or reduce, just wondering what will keep you when the God-sent-tall-with-nice-body man of your dream finally shows up from nowhere dude will be so insecure

pozehnani:
Somebody help me before I lose my mind.

I've been with this guy now for some time.
When he first approached, I wasn't too down with the idea of having a relationship with him, which I made clear to him. Though I had my reservations which was his height but didn't let him know. Also, that time, there was this pharmacist (i shared about him some years ago) I was hoping would come open with his proposal to date me but he got ego and was using me to catch Cruise. As in.. each time I visited the pharmacy where he works, he'll be forming and acting like he didn't see me until I'm set to leave, he'll then want to block my way and turn everything to joke. saying.. " you don't want to marry fine boy abi? So I just parked him aside since he was not serious.

This other guy kept pestering me and was always calling. Suddenly, I began to like and miss him. Then he popped the question again and I was like... Ok, let's see how it goes.
We started seeing each other.

Along the line, people started saying all sorts like, she doesn't love this guy. It's because no man is forthcoming that is why she settled for him bla bla.. which is not true.

Now they said it until it got to my baby. Since then, he's been withdrawn. He said I don't really love him. that those people might be right. He was just saying all that and after trying to convince him that I do without any success, I got angry and left. We didn't talk for three days.

I missed him so much and so I called and he told me I'm only pretending that I don't love him because he's short, he's not my spec and all that balderdash. I tried talking him out of it but he wouldn't hear me out.

Seriously, I love him. The way the love developed overnight is still a mystery to me but I do. I'm tired of explaining and begging.

How can I convince him that I sincerely love him. I've really emanciated since he started all these drama. He even saw me recently and was like it's the pharmacy guy I'm missing, not him. .

I posted a happy pics on my status on Friday with my students and he said, moving on without me, yeah?. Ok, I called him, he refused to pick. Later he texted me that, at my age, I should know better than to be posting happy pics when someone somewhere is not feeling fine.
I replied, who's not feeling fine? Then he went, I said it! You don't love me. You don't care! Maybe if I were taller, things would have been different

Here's someone who refused to pick my calls turning around to accuse me.

Please, how can I let him know I really care about him. I'm tired! I want to settle down with him this year but this sudden act of his doesn't look promising.

For me love is about actions not words

You might have told one or two persons that you don't like his height ,so the news spread like Wild fire until he got to hear it, coupled with the fact that your actions towards him made him believe it is true. No one sees true love and not know it no matter the contrary views .

Try a little more to convince him,if he doesn't believe,let him be and move on.

He is feeling insecure because of his height. Is he a member of the Simpsons family?

You should have a sit down and let him know how you really feel, after that if he keeps the attitude then you stop trying, let him also fight for your love, dont let him mistake your love for him as being desperate, like he pointed out, saying you are with him because you have no choice... Tell him you truly love him, make him know his height is out of the question. If he continues with the cold attitude, give it time and see if he fights for your love too.

My dear life is too short to waste it on someone who's feelings for you can easily be altered by third parties.

If he isn't matured enough to know the efforts you've made towards proving to him that you love him, just let him be. He's probably suffering from low self-esteem, and guys like that can be very dangerous to date, cos you'd spend your whole life appealing to their ego which would constantly be threatened every now and then.

What you need is a confident guy who knows exactly what he wants, someone who would look into your eyes and tell you he loves you regardless of what people are saying concerning you two.

Ok

That's my problem with short people. Abeg give an chance, he isn't mentally and emotionally matured yet. If he was, he should have known that whatsoever you do, people must talk.

pozehnani:
Somebody help me before I lose my mind.

I've been with this guy for some time now.
When he first approached me, I wasn't too down with the idea of having a relationship with him, which I made clear to him. Though I had my reservations about him, which was his height but didn't let him know. Also, that time, there was this pharmacist (i shared about him some years ago) I was hoping would come open with his proposal to date me but he got ego and was using me to catch Cruise. As in.. each time I visited the pharmacy where he works, he'll be forming and acting like he didn't see me until I'm set to leave, he'll then want to block my way and turn everything to joke. saying.. " you don't want to marry fine boy abi? So I just parked him aside since he was not serious.

This other guy kept pestering me and was always calling. Suddenly, I began to like and miss him. Then he popped the question again and I was like... Ok, let's see how it goes.
We started seeing each other.

Along the line, people started saying all sorts like, she doesn't love this guy. It's because no man is forthcoming that is why she settled for him bla bla.. which is not true.

Now they said it until it got to my baby. Since then, he's been withdrawn. He said I don't really love him. that those people might be right. He was just saying all that and after trying to convince him that I do without any success, I got angry and left. We didn't talk for three days.

I missed him so much and so I called and he told me I'm only pretending that I don't love him because he's short, he's not my spec and all that balderdash. I tried talking him out of it but he wouldn't hear me out.

Seriously, I love him. The way the love developed overnight is still a mystery to me but I do. I'm tired of explaining and begging.

How can I convince him that I sincerely love him. I've really emanciated since he started all these drama. He even saw me recently and was like it's the pharmacy guy I'm missing, not him. .

I posted a happy pics on my status on Friday with my students and he said, moving on without me, yeah?. Ok, I called him, he refused to pick. Later he texted me that, at my age, I should know better than to be posting happy pics when someone somewhere is not feeling fine.
I replied, who's not feeling fine? Then he went, I said it! You don't love me. You don't care! Maybe if I were taller, things would have been different

Here's someone who refused to pick my calls turning around to accuse me.

Please, how can I let him know I really care about him. I'm tired! I want to settle down with him this year but this sudden act of his doesn't look promising.

Call him, let both of you sit down and straight things out one one. If he doesn't come around after the talk then let him be.

If you truly love him don't give up darling, show him you really love him but don't force it on him.
He is only trying to push you a little to ascertain your sincerity, but not to worry everything will fall in place soon OK.

pozehnani:
Somebody help me before I lose my mind.

I've been with this guy for some time now.
When he first approached me, I wasn't too down with the idea of having a relationship with him, which I made clear to him. Though I had my reservations about him, which was his height but didn't let him know. Also, that time, there was this pharmacist (i shared about him some years ago) I was hoping would come open with his proposal to date me but he got ego and was using me to catch Cruise. As in.. each time I visited the pharmacy where he works, he'll be forming and acting like he didn't see me until I'm set to leave, he'll then want to block my way and turn everything to joke. saying.. " you don't want to marry fine boy abi? So I just parked him aside since he was not serious.

This other guy kept pestering me and was always calling. Suddenly, I began to like and miss him. Then he popped the question again and I was like... Ok, let's see how it goes.
We started seeing each other.

Along the line, people started saying all sorts like, she doesn't love this guy. It's because no man is forthcoming that is why she settled for him bla bla.. which is not true.

Now they said it until it got to my baby. Since then, he's been withdrawn. He said I don't really love him. that those people might be right. He was just saying all that and after trying to convince him that I do without any success, I got angry and left. We didn't talk for three days.

I missed him so much and so I called and he told me I'm only pretending that I don't love him because he's short, he's not my spec and all that balderdash. I tried talking him out of it but he wouldn't hear me out.

Seriously, I love him. The way the love developed overnight is still a mystery to me but I do. I'm tired of explaining and begging.

How can I convince him that I sincerely love him. I've really emanciated since he started all these drama. He even saw me recently and was like it's the pharmacy guy I'm missing, not him. .

I posted a happy pics on my status on Friday with my students and he said, moving on without me, yeah?. Ok, I called him, he refused to pick. Later he texted me that, at my age, I should know better than to be posting happy pics when someone somewhere is not feeling fine.
I replied, who's not feeling fine? Then he went, I said it! You don't love me. You don't care! Maybe if I were taller, things would have been different

Here's someone who refused to pick my calls turning around to accuse me.

Please, how can I let him know I really care about him. I'm tired! I want to settle down with him this year but this sudden act of his doesn't look promising.

You have to keep your efforts trying to convince him, try to visit him and talk things out with him, let him know that you're coming and see his reaction before you decide.

Alright I see the reason why you created the other thread few days ago.

The thing is the guy is trying to make sure he is not a "second choice" like the way the gossip is going round..

I have been there.

Listen there is this girl I really loved so much in school then, I made my intention known to her and I asked her if she had anyone already. She said No and part of me told me she was lying.

She told me she will get back to me when she is through with thinking over it.

I waited for her feedback, she didn't report back to me. I let it slide for some months, I reminded her of it, she said she had someone with her, that is ready to marry her.

I was so broken when I heard that from her and I was thinking all about it then. Later, I outgrown the pain and broken heart. I let everything be.

Few months later, she came to me and was like "I am ready to be your babe ooo" and she was like "should I ask you out?"

Me come dey confused, e be like say I dey dream. And I asked her what happened to her husband to be, she told me he left her for another girl..

I was like "hmmmmmm"

Something struck me at that time. It was "second option" you are her "second choice"

Some men hate being "second option"
You know what second choice is all about?

It means " if someone like your first choice comes your way, you would leave the "second choice"

Second choice is a price for losers.

So I don't blame the dude.
The thing is if you truly love him, just keep knocking at him with every reason, maybe God will soften his heart and he might have you back. But don't make any mistake of disrespecting him; that will give him a hard reason why you truly don't love him like you claim

The broda is having low self esteem

You have already despised him for being short

The guy hate himself and you trying to love him is a waste of time. So move on. Chaii.

This is why you should avoid short people, some of them are problem.

pozehnani:

Please, how can I let him know I really care about him. I'm tired! I want to settle down with him this year but this sudden act of his doesn't look promising.

Calm down. It's not a do or die affair.

Everybody is a second or tenth option to someone out there. No matter what you do, he is not and will never be your first choice. Only those who married their first love (teenage boyfriends/girlfriends) actually married their first choice. A mature mind should be able to digest this fact.

Saying you love him a million times won't change the fact that you love/loved other people (in the past)

Failure to speak ill about your ex is the main issue here. You've probably described your ex as Mr. perfect. You should have lied like everyone else about your ex. Talk about your ex's negative side if you have to talk about him and make your current man see reasons why he's a better choice for you. This is how to massage a man's ego.

You can't be discussing your ex's 10 feet height with a 4 feet man. No go dey discuss how your ex earns a million naira monthly with a potential husband that barely provides 50k monthly. That information is worthless to him. It's either you bury that information or go back to your ex.

I can swear with my life she doesn't love him

Acidosis:


Calm down. It's not a do or die affair.

Everybody is a second or tenth option to someone out there. No matter what you do, he is not and will never be your first choice. Only those who married their first love (teenage boyfriends/girlfriends) actually married their first choice. A mature mind should be able to digest this fact.

Saying you love him a million times won't change the fact that you love/loved other people (in the past)

Failure to speak ill about your ex is the main issue here. You've probably described your ex as Mr. perfect. You should have lied like everyone else about your ex. Talk about your ex's negative side if you have to talk about him and make your current man see reasons why he's a better choice for you. This is how to massage a man's ego.

You can't be discussing your ex's 10 feet height with a 4 feet man. No go dey discuss how your ex earns a million naira monthly with a potential husband that barely provides 50k monthly. That information is worthless to him. It's either you bury that information or go back to your ex.

I just feel for him that's why I'm trying to assure him that I love him regardless of what people are saying.

correctyourself:


You have to keep your efforts trying to convince him, try to visit him and talk things out with him, let him know that you're coming and see his reaction before you decide.

Ok.

Mjshexy:
If you truly love him don't give up darling, show him you really love him but don't force it on him.
He is only trying to push you a little to ascertain your sincerity, but not to worry everything will fall in place soon OK.

Ok.
Thanks.

Hafizah:
You should have a sit down and let him know how you really feel, after that if he keeps the attitude then you stop trying, let him also fight for your love, dont let him mistake your love for him as being desperate, like he pointed out, saying you are with him because you have no choice... Tell him you truly love him, make him know his height is out of the question. If he continues with the cold attitude, give it time and see if he fights for your love too.

Ok.
Thanks.

He is insecure...will likely continue to be- even in marriage. His height has made him lose some self confidence...if you truly love him, show him more love, only way to convince him. Also, you probably told one or two people how you felt about his height initially - you also agreed he's not your spec and you don't know "how the love grew overnight".

Finally, don't date him because you think half a loaf is better than nothing...you may regret it later!

BTW, how short is his "shortness?"
What's your height?

But is anyone serious coming apart from him?

Would you have gone for him if the fine boy pharmacist gave you time and attention?..


I for like agree with them ooo

But they were right, you fell back to him because your pharmacist bf wasn't looking at your side.

freddie009:
But they were right, you fell back to him because your pharmacist bf wasn't looking at your side.

Exactly, what if the pharmacist decided to drop his ego and come back to you that he sincerely loves you, will you still love the short guy? Tell yourself the undiluted truth.

He is insecured, I'll suggest you keep texting him with assurance that you love him; I guess with time he'll believe. "Women done do the guy shégé " .

Hmmm, you and these threads

When Mr Available becomes Mr Right.

Aunty, short people too get persecution complex. They feel the whole world is out to bully them because they are 'summarised'. Besides he is not mature enough to handle you which is why he is listening to what people are saying.

How come people even have a say in your relationship sef? Who are these 'people' and how come they are so familiar with you that they are running 'football commentary' on who you're dating?

You need to be sure he isn't insecure because of his height before you commit because if he's mentioning it consistently, he would keep bringing it up. Let him know you need him to love himself first as that will reflect on you and how well you will love him.

On the part of him listening to what people are saying, you need have an extensive discussion on it. You need define the relationship because it is childish to make decisions based on external forces who have no stake in your relationship.

Pinky and the brain