iamoyindamola:

Her phone is even boring to me, sometimes she initiate phone exchange for some minutes i always reject the offer
Not like i have anything to hide but i don't feel comfortable with it
Na from clap dance they start the next will be hours, days then we start sharing sim card

A phone is a personal device, there are videos, skits and other things that I share with my friends that no one can see or should see

Emaprince:
She should grab the offer with both hands. Unless something is fishy as some people are speculating.

And with what I have seen from kemi, ...there might some sprinkle of truths in there.

I agree she should grab the offer if clean as it's free money. The moral judgement is on those giving validity to speculation by putting money behind it.

I'm sure Mohbad wife was the one videoing Mohbad and sounding alarm on social media when he was being beaten by Sam Larry thugs. Now speculation done run wild reach her side with no goodwill extended to when she was sounding alarm of her husband being beaten by same guy she is accused of conceiving with.

Emaprince:
She should grab the offer with both hands. Unless something is fishy as some people are speculating.

And with what I have seen from kemi, ...there might some sprinkle of truths in there.

Kemi is a certified lunatic. If Mohbad while alive did not doubt the paternity nor claim his wife was cheating, what exactly is the business of online inlaws?

Na why dem talk say na clout dem dey use the guy chase

liveLongNprospa:


Yeah e touch my guy.

Lol.

Touch, kwa.

I did not agree with him na.

I just cannot argue with him because his belief is different from mine and the same way he cannot make me accept his belief, I cannot make him accept mine too.

I am not here to "argue".

I drop my opinion and if you are not cool with it, do not think I will begin to "fight" you.

DissTroy:


I hope this is not an opening to personalise attacks on anyone on this thread?

I'm flawed. I'm far from perfect. I'm extremely flawed and sharing passwords doesn't mean I can't get my way around it to get cozy with others.
Incognito mode? WhatsApp calls which can't be recorded then deleting the call logs? I'm flawed. I can get my way around it if I want to.

But this issue began with the topic of paternity fraud. A woman does not directly bear the brunt of her husband or man's wiles when he sows his seeds outside as long as she's provided for.

A man does..Not only does he invest financially, he invests emotionally into raising a child under the pretext of it being from his loins.

Men are territorial about everything. Women are territorial more about their kids. Fooling a man into defending a territory with everything which is being ravaged because you open a backdoor is cruel.

A woman owes a man loyalty first. A man owes her dependability in return. Yes, there are middle grounds, but every other thing is a just that - every other thing.

I'm sorry but I don't think this answered my question, because your answer is talking about women or rather is focused on the woman or maybe I'm having comprehension problems here but what I'm asking is about men and it is this;

What do we say to MEN who cheat on their women?

As in, guys who already have a girlfriend, a fiancee or a wife but go out and cheat on them, what do we say about that??

Because reading the last few pages, one gets a sense of women being attacked as being inherently unfaithful when the reality of our lives is that men cheat on their women far more, such that it is even normalized in many societies such that men can have 6 wives but women are completely subjected to have only a single man and husband till they die.

So I'm trying to wrap my head around the women bashing or calling of women unfaithful when it is usually men that do so.

Ibime:


I agree she should grab the offer if clean as it's free money. The moral judgement is on those giving validity to speculation by putting money behind it. I'm sure Mohbad wife was the one videoing Mohbad and sounding alarm on social media when he was being beaten by Sam Larry thugs. Now speculation done run wild reach her side

You think they will pay? Its just another clout chasing. The person offering the money might not even have spare 2m in his account

I don't support a young widow who is thinking about her future and probably battling depression to entertain the foolishness of social media

Unless the staker is willing to put the money in escrow

raumdeuter:


A phone is a personal device, there are videos, skits and other things that I share with my friends that no one can see or should see

Our phone dan turn Oro prohibited for the wives

If your woman cannot freely and comfortably access your phone, then there is a problem there.

It signals that there is something to hide or not want to be seen which breeds mistrust and this goes for both parties.

If you are in a relationship where both of you do not know each others pass words openly and freely. It means that relationship is unhealthy.

iamoyindamola:

Our phone dan turn Oro prohibited for the wives

Amateurs

donjazzet:


.

We can go back and forth, localised to the timezone you and I live in even, and over again, but when you turn off your internet connection, just remember to protect your loved ones from an increasing probability of paternity fraud occurrence.

Stay alert.

iamoyindamola:

Our phone dan turn Oro prohibited for the wives

Omo its normal for you to share some videos with your guy say "See as this girl dey give head, Omo if na me I go give am 5 times, See this kain big nyansh omo if my guy oyin handle am".

Same thing your wife might be sharing pictures of good looking guys with her friends and having their own girls talk

Most of those are harmless talks but when your spouse sees it might breed insecurity

It is better to apply good judgement

DissTroy:

Problem is most women think as long as it hasn't gotten to physical intimacy yet, there's nothing wrong.
But smart men know once you get into her head and pique her interest, it's only a matter of time if you're willing to go the mile, married, engaged, or dating. By that time she's far too deep and being sneaky to cover up.

This right here is true.

I actually believe it's always in the hands of the guy. If he wishes to go the whole hog, it's game over!!. Forget the weak talks women will come up with claiming they have everything under control.

Time will come when she will be excitedly looking forward to talk to the guy.

I have been there several times...and when I see it going out of hand, I start wriggling out. It will shock you to know that they will even complain that you no care again...when you are clearly trying to observe the boundry.

DissTroy:


We can go back and forth localised to the timezone you and I live in even, and over again, but when you turn off your internet connection, just remember to protect your loved ones from an increasing probability of occurrence.

Stay alert.

Again my friend, you keep diverting. I don't know if you are purposely dodging the question. You keep making it about the woman.

Right now, I am asking you about the MAN!

What do you say to a man who cheats on his woman? As in a situation whereby the woman is indeed faithful but the man is sleeping with another woman elsewhere, what do you say to that man?

donjazzet:


I don't see anyone here "scared" of a DNA test.
We're highlighting the mindset before it.

For you to want to test the DNA of your wife's baby means that trust is completely gone from that marriage and you have no business being in that marriage or union.

every time the topic of DNA testing comes up, they're are always on the attack...that screams fear

Them too don't have trust in themselves because they're flirting with other men(keeping their options open)...then they try to blackmail with "trust format"

Well why are we wasting money on Genotype test when we can just can just "trust" our partner that she's AA

Kholiwe:

When you do the DNA test don't behave like a thief as well and do it in secret. Confront you wife to her face and tell you don't trust the kids are yours and need a DNA test to confirm.

Dey play

nihilistjnr:




Amateurs

You no drop clue you just they call us amateurs

donjazzet:
If your woman cannot freely and comfortably access your phone, then there is a problem there.

It signals that there is something to hide or not want to be seen which breeds mistrust and this goes for both parties.

If you are in a relationship where both of you do not know each others pass words openly and freely. It means that relationship is unhealthy.

Is it only infidelity that people see when they read through phones? How about information about friends/family that are very personal and is shared with just you?
It's not everything your partner needs to know. So if Tunde shares a secret with you, you will go and tell your partner.

Evidence oporrr

nihilistjnr:
I personally think if you have to do a DNA test, that marriage is over.

The DNA test result might prove the baby's parentage to be as expected, but it doesn't prove that the mother didn't cheat - therefore that suspicion remains unresolved.

Now the mother knows her husband doesn't trust her, and if she's actually innocent, there is no way to build that trust in the husband. Totö no get odometer wey the husband go use check mileage

If the DNA test result proves the baby's parentage as expected, but the mother is indeed cheating...now she knows she needs to be wiser and smarter in her doings. She's still going to be coming home with cum-stained lips to kiss him, but her alibi is going to be air tight now.

If the DNA test shows a different father, all that happens is that the marriage is over. Sometimes, cheating done smartly and with discretion is healthy for a marriage. What could have been a small non-issue forgotten in the mists of time, would have led to to collapse of a possibly otherwise strong marriage.

I believe the only civil use of DNA testing is to establish some sort of legal claim. The man that requests a DNA test on his wife had already concluded to leave, he's just trying to find out if he's on the hook for paying for his kids.

No man in any genuinely subsisting relationship will do routine DNA tests on his kids.

Keyword being routine. I'd get doing on a first child discreetly, but doing DNA tests routinely and openly on kids a woman you're supposedly married to is just crazy.

raumdeuter:


Omo its normal for you to share some videos with your guy say "See as this girl dey give head, Omo if na me I go give am 5 times, See this kain big nyansh omo if my guy oyin handle am".

Same thing your wife might be sharing pictures of good looking guys with her friends and having their own girls talk

Most of those are harmless talks but when your spouse sees it might breed insecurity

It is better to apply good judgement

I wonder why many only think the sensitive information you have on your phone is when you cheat. If you have friends who confide in you and you share messages, you are exposing them.

Trevor012:

Is it only infidelity that people see when they read through phones? How about information about friends/family that are very personal and is shared with just you?
It's not everything your partner needs to know. So if Tunde shares a secret with you, you will go and tell your partner.

That's the very ideal of a commited relationship. One where you're allowed to be vulnerable to your partner. Where you're allowed to open up to your partner.

And I don't mean "flings" here or a girl you just met. I mean, someone who you're really serious with. Like someone who you've both invested years, emotions and finance on yourselves both.
But most especially a wife.

You should have gotten to a stage with your wife where you can both funnily crush yourselves with jabs. You can make fun of her and she can make of you and both of you will know exactly the point that comes from. From a place of love not a will of intent to cause harm.

That she can filter between jests and seriousness when she encounters something new.
That is the ideal of marriage and I'm an idealist. I invest and hope for the very best of situations.

nihilistjnr:


Amateur

raumdeuter:


I heard Obasanjo in the 80s, 90s used to shoot workers at his Ota farms for stealing

People will ruin you. Me don remove hand from running any business in Naija

I once tried trucking. I sent Mack trucks paid for clearing not knowing that the agent I paid spent my money and was banking on another person to pay him for clearing so he can use for mine.
This agent I've used him for multiple shipment and even introduced people to him for business

He started giving me stories the computer at port is bad, their bosses traveled to Abuja

I had to send someone else who told me my trucks have been waiting clearing for weeks and started incurring demmurage say if I incur to some level, they will auctionthe truck. I had to pay another set of clearing fees plus demmurage to get my truck out. After clearing I got in touch with a soldier friend to handle him but my dad called me to let him go and leave to God cos if soldiers injure him na my family dem go still come meet.

Na so I leave am. Like a year later after new year he suddenly called me, I even thought he wanted to repay back. Na so he begin tell me say for some time his business has been very bad, he went to a pastor to pray and they told him that it's because he cheated someone who did him a lot of good and until that person forgives him. I chuckled and ask that what of the money you are owing me? He say he never get the money but I should forgive him

Except you are buying the truck to settle some one and not have any interest of making profits out of it, You will be so distracted by the anger and pain caused by the litany of excuses whoever you put in charge will be bringing up.

He will literary make money and keep telling you that the truck got spoilt and haven't functioned for weeks.

Naija people wicked o.

Theflint1:
Keyword being routine. I'd get doing on a first child discreetly, but doing DNA tests routinely and openly on kids a woman you're supposedly married to is just crazy.

DNA test can't be routine in the first place because the result is definite.
If you do know test and it's yours, it's yours. Nothing changes that. Even if the test is done 10 years later so I don't understand what is "routine" about a 🧬 test.

donjazzet:


Asking about the DNA of your kid means that you don't trust your woman.
And if you don't trust your wife, you really are in problem. Because there's bound to be much problems in that marriage.

It's almost as if you don't understand what a marriage is.

bro, dotting i's and crossing t's have nothing to do with trust

The only thing I'll make sure is that I'll run it on a low so she will not be aware..

I gotta be aware 💯 whose kid km training bro.. before I disvover late which might be catastrophic at the end 🔚

donjazzet:


That's the very ideal of a commited relationship. One where you're allowed to be vulnerable to your partner. Where you're allowed to open up to your partner.

And I don't mean "flings" here or a girl you just met. I mean, someone who you're really serious with. Like someone who you've both invested years, emotions and finance on yourselves both.
But most especially a wife.

You should have gotten to a stage with your wife where you can both funnily crush yourselves with jabs. You can make fun of her and she can make of you and both of you will know exactly the point that comes from. From a place of love not a will of intent to cause harm.

That she can filter between jests and seriousness when she encounters something new.
That is the ideal of marriage and I'm an idealist. I invest and hope for the very best of situations.

GOOD LUCK Sha. But If i tell you a secret base on friendship and I find out you told your wife or due to her having access to your phone she gets to know then that's the end of that friendship.

raumdeuter:


Omo its normal for you to share some videos with your guy say "See as this girl dey give head, Omo if na me I go give am 5 times, See this kain big nyansh omo if my guy oyin handle am".

Same thing your wife might be sharing pictures of good looking guys with her friends and having their own girls talk

Most of those are harmless talks but when your spouse sees it might breed insecurity

It is better to apply good judgement

I caught up a gist of my wife and her close friend on whatsapp
Then i lose guard and was telling her the gist indirectly asking for update, she then threw me off by asking did i tell you all these or you read my chat
Since that day i no they touch her phone again lailai

Emaprince:
Except you are buying the truck to settle some one and not have any interest of making profits out of it, You will be so distracted by the anger and pain caused by the litany of excuses whoever you put in charge will be bringing up.

He will literary make money and keep telling you that the truck got spoilt and haven't functioned for weeks.

Naija people wicked o.

You are tempting me to share my trucking experience with you cos if I do, you will join me to shed tears on this thread today. Na because of trucking na him make me know some lungu for Nigeria.

raumdeuter:


Omo its normal for you to share some videos with your guy say "See as this girl dey give head, Omo if na me I go give am 5 times, See this kain big nyansh omo if my guy oyin handle am".

Same thing your wife might be sharing pictures of good looking guys with her friends and having their own girls talk

Most of those are harmless talks but when your spouse sees it might breed insecurity

It is better to apply good judgement

Very true, or delete certain conversations as they're being had.

Emaprince:
This right here is true.

I actually believe it's always in the hands of the guy. If he wishes to go the whole hog, it's game over!!. Forget the weak talks women will come up with claiming they have everything under control.

Time will come when she will be excitedly looking forward to talk to the guy.

I have been there several times... and when I see it going out of hand, I start wriggling out. It will shock you to know that they will even complain that you no care again... when you are clearly trying to observe the boundry.

I just don't want to tell tales else I'd have done so with screenshots, with names and photos blurred out.

If you're easy with words and your timeline shows you as discrete, that's it. Looks and seeming comfort are just extras.

A woman whose fiancé is celebrating her on her birthday on Facebook with her name tagged while she's chatting you up same morning for a rendezvous as soon as possible?

And if you're the type who rarely calls but takes her calls, better for her. She can get away with it.

Is it a married woman who makes a random flirty comment and you're good with quick-witted replies which pique interest until you tell yourself to pull back before you cross that line? The ones online on Facebook by 10PM? Watching skits, eh? Alright.

Would she attempt to if there's a likelihood he might go through her phone, even to share a large file without her supervision?

I don't want to tell tales but I'm insisting there's a Pandora's box of likely deceit and disrespect if you ever get to see it.

BlaqFaze:
every time the topic of DNA testing comes up, they're are always on the attack...that screams fear

Them too don't have trust in themselves because they're flirting with other men(keeping their options open)...then they try to blackmail with "trust format"

Well why are we wasting money on Genotype test when we can just can just "trust" our partner that she's AA

I'm only trying to imagine a world where men as we are can get pregnant... maternity fraud numbers for dey on steroids.

Trevor012:

GOOD LUCK Sha. But If i tell you a secret base on friendship and I find out you told your wife or due to her having access to your phone she gets to know then that's the end of that friendship.

The answer to this is, hoping your friend can realize that you trust your wife completely and whatever you know can be assumed to also be known by your wife but the trust is still retained because your friend knows that that information is completely safe. Here the onus is on my wife to know what secrets are and how you can't break them.

Again, a marriage means, lifetime partnership. Two bodies, one mind. Anything less means that the marriage is on a time scale