Ask 10 couples how important sex is in a relationship and you’ll get 10 different answers. Of course, there’s quantity and there’s quality. Mismatched desires, lack of orgasm, and other factors can all make your sex life seem eh — and can affect other aspects of your relationship dynamics, says Madeline Lucas, LCSW, therapist and clinical content manager at Real, a mental health care company. And these differences in libido can become even more pronounced if you and your partner don’t talk through them.

“It’s all about communication and compromise when it comes to different libidos and sex drives in a relationship,” Lucas says. And if sex is important to you and your partner, then it’s important in the relationship. And research underscores how sex can enhance intimacy and connection: According to a 2018 study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, the more sex you have, the more likely you are to feel intimacy toward your partner. But being satisfied with sex in your relationship starts with getting honest with both yourself and your partner about what you like and what you want.

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How Important Is Sex In A Long-Term Relationship?

Sex in a long-term relationship is important: It allows you and your partner to experience intimacy, vulnerability, and connection together, says Tennesha Wood, a dating coach, matchmaker, and founder of The Broom List, a matchmaking firm dedicated to matching educated, marriage-minded Black professionals. But it can also be the first thing to fall by the wayside.