I’d like to ask please, I’m 34 and I need advice my parents have frequently asked when will I give them a child and sometimes I tell them not just ready with the situation of the country, I have girlfriend who her padtor and few friends ask her when is she going to get married as well on the other hand and she sometimes get pissed about the question.

I don’t earn much between 80-90 monthly, my girlfriend works too but her salary mostly goes to house things, food, water, lawnma, few times contribute for rent to as well, she buys data 3 times a month etc sometimes she tells me she sow’s seeds in church and I can imagine how much, this is for her own family.

My parents has gone as far as wanting to build a mini flat at the back of the family house just for us to get married and have kids “my mum is so particular about the kids aspect and I said NO.

I spend almost 48k each month for transportation from salary. I send her some cash too because of financial challenges “she doesn’t even ask” but I try todo but not all the time.


I’m worried, I really wanna get married but I don’t want to be hooked along the line all because parents wants a child and all that.


Please what do you suggest for a young man like me.

Thank you

Finance play a big role in marriage. More to that, are you physically, emotionally, and spiritually ready or you just wanna please your parents?

Even if building a mini-flat for you may seem not bad, are they also going to help you train the child(ren)?


Enter marriage when you are ready not when people are ready for you.

You are on the way to self destruct if you keep listening to what your parents has to say about your private life..
At your age you should be old enough to make decisions on your own and stand by it...

Holly Gram U remember dat movie WILLIE WILLIE..


As them de run UP and DOWN for that movie, NaSo u self go de run UP and DOWN if u make a wrong decision!


Marriage is another stage of life, don't let anyone force or talk u into it.. Not even ur family!


meant while.. OBIdient I STAND and I hop u too..


LITE UP my WEED in peace


WTF MAN!

OP this your topic has been treated here for more than 10times, a simple research here or anywhere online would have given you answers without bothering to open a new thread.

At your age, you should have the capacity to take decisions yourself which will benefit you than to rely on your parents who i believe have run their race, you have just started yours and nobody should force you how to run yours. All i'm saying is, marriage is a lifetime thing and nobody should force you into it if you are not financially,emotional etc ready for it.

Pls follow your heart cos your said parents will not be there for you if sh*t happens

Marry the babe and make your parent happy. God go do the rest.

I think you should be more worried about the fact that transportation to your workplace eats way deep into your salary. I'm not saying you should quit your current job, just hoping that you've got your eyes out for another one, a better job.

Don't give into pressure just yet. Believe me, you and your girlfriend are not ready for this now. They want to raise a building as a wedding gift to you & wifey, how about helping you both navigate through everything, all the responsibilities in-between? Yes, they would do their best to help out but it won't seem like enough, then frustration cos you weren't ready or prepared for this but they made you feel that they'll hold your hands alllll the wayyy lol.

Op, u wan continue d circle of poverty and rat race.
Instead of your parents to erect structure for u, why not use d money and startup something. If only transport to work could take 50% of your earnings, I wonder how much u would be having as savings.
Op right now,marriage is not your thing,if going by what u are earning and spending

emmanuelbrown26:
Op, u wan continue d circle of poverty and rat race.
Instead of your parents to erect structure for u, why not use d money and startup something. If only transport to work could take 50% of your earnings, I wonder how much u would be having as savings.
Op right now,marriage is not your thing,if going by what u are earning and spending

Thank you. The cash “part of it” would be given to me for rent because currently I moved back to the family how base on the guy I was staying is into G and we had some couple of issues tho.

And if you say business do you have any I could do to help my finance situation?

No try am o. As you see them so once the suffering start all of them go off phone o. I remember when my uncle got his job my mother and my grand parents were pressuring him to marry now that gbese don set everyone don off phone even when he took his kids to his grandparents house they chased them away o that they can't afford to take care of anybody at their old age. Once the suffering sets in everyone urging you on now will disappear.

Marriage without financial stability is harrowing bit in your own case accommodation is settled.




Maybe just maybe your case will be different.


Parents are most times not helpful financially in raising kids.


Once they see grandchildren theirs is to pet and pamper.

All burdens on you .

If you and your girlfriend are willing to settle down, you can. You just need financial planning. How much does she earn? How much will it take both of you to feed if you buy food items in bulk? Will you live rent free if you stay in your family house? Can you get a cheaper accommodation closer to work? In what ways can you reduce your current expenses?

Your girlfriend wouldn’t wait forever, I’m sure she’s looking and will leave if she finds someone ready. Is there a guarantee that things will be better soonest? You need to make a plan with what you have right now or let her go.

"There is a way that seemeth right unto a man but the end thereof is destruction". OP, you are about to tour this way.

1. You must up your game and look for how to better your life before thinking about marriage and children.

2. Those that are compelling you into marriage will not be there in sickness and health; sorrow and joy; poverty and wealth. Even the woman who may take that vow/oath with you will abscond when things go south. Better be strategic now than later. And as the proverb goes: " prevention is better than cure".

3. It is better to raise children when you're emotionally, financially, physically, mentally, and psychologically fit. Because children, marriage, and women are risky businesses that must always be monitored. If you are not capable in any of these areas, you will hate yourself, and feel sad with many hisses as days turn into years.

4. Don't rush into marriage because of your age, what you should be concerned about now is how to leverage challenging situations for your betterment.

You may feel age is not by your side, but you must have it at the side of your heart that marriage is not the right option. Getting married early as a result of declining fertility with aging is good, seeing your kids grow and being able to lead them under your tutelage when you still got enough vigor is a joy to behold. However, the current situation of the economy has deprived you and many of such. Hence, you must choose the path with the least trouble.

5. Don't compel yourself to marriage because of the age of your girlfriend. The fact is that you are not ready! It is even advisable to let her know that her options should be opened to other suitors. (Besides she may be entertaining other suitors but still waiting for the right time when everything will mature. You should end the relationship now).

Let her go her own way, fertility is not on her side, and raising kids now or later when fertility has greatly reduced is a free show of disaster. This time, the heart has done its work, be logical, and let the brain start from here.

Both of you may love each other and feel disappointed, but this is the best possible action and headway for both of you as far as I understand.

6. To free yourself from your mother's naggings:

A. Stay far away from her, and let your place of residence be inaccessible to her.

B. Bar her number from calling you, however, be the one that does call her with a private number.

C. When people infuriate you with marriage talk, mention a huge amount of money (in millions) and tell them that it is until you get this money for the wedding/marriage that you'll get married. You will be advised against such, but just insist and stand your ground.

7. Your transportation fare/salary is what you must sit down and analyze properly. It is taking a drastic turn on you.

Essential thoughts that should occupy your heart now are how to leverage or reduce your transportation fare.

8. The country is not getting better, you must think twice and well before sealing any decision or action.

It will be well with you.

Thanks.

Your parents have had their own children. They should not put you under pressure to "give them a child". That child will be your responsibility, not theirs. Don't let them set you up.

CaveAdullam:
"There is a way that seemeth right unto a man but the end thereof is destruction". OP, you are about to tour this way.

1. You must up your game and look for how to better your life before thinking about marriage and children.

2. Those that are compelling you into marriage will not be there in sickness and health; sorrow and joy; poverty and wealth. Even the woman who may take that vow/oath with you will abscond when things go south. Better be strategic now than later. And as the proverb goes: " prevention is better than cure".

3. It is better to raise children when you're emotionally, financially, physically, mentally, and psychologically fit. Because children, marriage, and women are risky businesses that must always be monitored. If you are not capable in any of these areas, you will hate yourself, and feel sad with many hisses as days turn into years.

4. Don't rush into marriage because of your age, what you should be concerned about now is how to leverage challenging situations for your betterment.

You may feel age is not by your side, but you must have it at the side of your heart that marriage is not the right option. Getting married early as a result of declining fertility with aging is good, seeing your kids grow and being able to lead them under your tutelage when you still got enough vigor is a joy to behold. However, the current situation of the economy has deprived you and many of such. Hence, you must choose the path with the least trouble.

5. Don't compel yourself to marriage because of the age of your girlfriend. The fact is that you are not ready! It is even advisable to let her know that her options should be opened to other suitors. (Besides she may be entertaining other suitors but still waiting for the right time when everything will mature. You should end the relationship now).

Let her go her own way, fertility is not on her side, and raising kids now or later when fertility has greatly reduced is a free show of disaster. This time, the heart has done its work, be logical, and let the brain start from here.

Both of you may love each other and feel disappointed, but this is the best possible action and headway for both of you as far as I understand.

6. To free yourself from your mother's naggings:

A. Stay far away from her, and let your place of residence be inaccessible to her.

B. Bar her number from calling you, however, be the one that does call her with a private number.

C. When people infuriate you with marriage talk, mention a huge amount of money (in millions) and tell them that it is until you get this money for the wedding/marriage that you'll get married. You will be advised against such, but just insist and stand your ground.

7. Your transportation fare/salary is what you must sit down and analyze properly. It is taking a drastic turn on you.

Essential thoughts that should occupy your heart now are how to leverage or reduce your transportation fare.

8. The country is not getting better, you must think twice and well before sealing any decision or action.

It will be well with you.

Thanks.

Thank you.

eazzzy1:
If you and your girlfriend are willing to settle down, you can. You just need financial planning. How much does she earn? How much will it take both of you to feed if you buy food items in bulk? Will you live rent free if you stay in your family house? Can you get a cheaper accommodation closer to work? In what ways can you reduce your current expenses?

Your girlfriend wouldn’t wait forever, I’m sure she’s looking and will leave if she finds someone ready. Is there a guarantee that things will be better soonest? You need to make a plan with what you have right now or let her go.

Thank you ��

Adeplus:
I’d like to ask please, I’m 34 and I need advice my parents have frequently asked when will I give them a child and sometimes I tell them not just ready with the situation of the country, I have girlfriend who her padtor and few friends ask her when is she going to get married as well on the other hand and she sometimes get pissed about the question.

I don’t earn much between 80-90 monthly, my girlfriend works too but her salary mostly goes to house things, food, water, lawnma, few times contribute for rent to as well, she buys data 3 times a month etc sometimes she tells me she sow’s seeds in church and I can imagine how much, this is for her own family.

My parents has gone as far as wanting to build a mini flat at the back of the family house just for us to get married and have kids “my mum is so particular about the kids aspect and I said NO.

I spend almost 48k each month for transportation from salary. I send her some cash too because of financial challenges “she doesn’t even ask” but I try todo but not all the time.


I’m worried, I really wanna get married but I don’t want to be hooked along the line all because parents wants a child and all that.


Please what do you suggest for a young man like me.

Thank you

You are lucky your parents ate still living and may help you if you tell them your challenges

There is never a time a man will be ready for marriage because of the same reason you mentioned

So talk with your mum and hear her positive response

All you need is family support not even money

OP I think I’ll be worried as well if I were in your parents’ shoes, because from what you wrote, you don’t have a plan.

Make a 5-year plan for yourself based on your current reality and future expectations, that will help you tell whether you will be having a child in the next 5 years or not, and you can tell that to your parents

socialmediaman:
OP I think I’ll be worried as well if I were in your parents’ shoes, because from what you wrote, you don’t have a plan.

Make a 5-year plan for yourself based on your current reality and future expectations, that will help you tell whether you will be having a child in the next 5 years or not, and you can tell that to your parents

Thank you.