Domestic violence starts with how we impulsively violet our kids in the name of discipline. Unknowingly to you, you are teaching them them that when you have power over another, that you can do anything to them as far as you believe you are correcting them..they will learn it, they will manifest it, and the cycle will continue.

We are saddened by the reality this things are creating daily but defensive or denies the root of it.

Sadly, we will hear more of these stories of domestic violence, until we get to the root, and destroy the motivating factors, our sadness, cries, etc. won't stop the manifestations.


https://thehuman-tribe.com/2021/08/31/we-teach-violence-instead-discipline/

So what's your point now

Correction is not violence, but Violence in the name of correction discipline, that's just EVIL, I'm a witness to this cause I had a popsi who BEATS b4 correcting and luckily I didn't inherit that attitude but chose to train my kids in my own way, discipline included but not with violence, we can train our kids to be better but not by using THE ROD on literally every occasion, especially people who are extremely religiously inclined and think they spoil the child by not beating the hell out of em' but check this out, most of these homes the children still end up wayward or the connection between the family will be broken and the years spent on training the child would be wasted as they would chose their own path in Life. When we raise children every Action taken now would have a Reaction in the future, I don't have any advice to give 2 parents cause everyone can't be the same but na who get ear go hear.
God bless the parents who are in good relationships with their children without VIOLENTLY training them up
Happy Sunday

Cypress042:
So what's your point now

We should explore other ways of discipline that does not involve the cane. The cane has never worked.

Be like you Neva jam stubborn kids before.

That would imply that children from developed countries, free from such discipline, don't grow into violent adults.

lucianotawinji:



We should explore other ways of discipline that does not involve the cane. The cane has never worked.

You opinion alone not that of others.

Cypress042:

You opinion alone not that of others.

Before Nko, your opinion is what you write here. However, it can evoke re-thinking and causes change or just re-evaluation

AN ADULT THAT CAN NEVER ACT RIGHT WITHOUT FORCE WAS A CHILD THAT NEVER ACTS RIGHT WITHOUT A CANE.

BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU NORMALIZE.

On my way back from work a few days ago, I witnessed full-grown adults block the road, just because there was a little traffic, all effort to make them act right didn't work....until some military men came with whips and within 10mins everywhere cleared...

Example is better than precept. Beating a child programs a child for violence or to tolerate the same.

In many domestic violence cases both giver and receiver were once children whose childhood were replete with beatings and canes.

Cane sparingly and with discretion. Or else...

See discipline as discipling not punishment. Discipline creatively. Wisely.

Exoticfarmer:
That would imply that children from developed countries, free from such discipline, don't grow into violent adults.

That's not what it implies. It can be one of the root causes of adult violence...not the only one. They might not use the cane but they sure used other things to teach violence.

The point is, most of what is amplified in your adult life is hinged on your belief system formed when you were a kid.

ahnie:
Be like you Neva jam stubborn kids before.

I have, actually, I mentor kids.

lucianotawinji:



We should explore other ways of discipline that does not involve the cane. The cane has never worked.

You are super correct.

The child is like a watch which needs to be set when the time is wrong.

You don't go smashing your watch because the time doesn't read right.

Rather, you look for the right time, patiently rewind and set it to the correct time.

To train a child, you need to use lots of love, communication, rewinding them with lots of remainders and patience.

If you do it right, you will never need a cane.

My dad never used the cane (physical violence) on me and no harsh abusive words (emotional abuse) either.

I turned out okay.

I train my children in the same way and so far it's been good.

Loving what I am reading.....

we must understand that beating, flogging is more about anger and ego than discipline for even it they comply after the beating, it is also more about fear and pain not about learning anything.

For discipline to be effective, it must Start by a combination of INSTRUCTION , APPROVAL and CORRECTIONS.. Without these discipline will be ineffective and useless.

Discipline is about Raise not pain. Remove the idea that "if it pains him, he won't do it again" you know it doesn't even work. Best you will produce kids that comply only when you are around....but when you travel they do very bad things...you see...you will never get "independent + responsible" kids with a Cain.

90% of parents do not know how this combinations works, and they are not ready to learn therefore they repeat what they know, how they themselves had been raised.


Now imagine raising a child the way you were raised, to live in a society that is 100times higher that the one you were raised. That's why we cannot experience so much progress in Africa.

Parents pay for every other training but they never pay for raining in parenting...they just recycle themselves and cry when the consequences hit the society be it inform of government inefficiency or society ills. They all come from the same place...family and parenting style.

I will do an intensive training on "conscious parenting " in the next two months for this very purpose. Let's see if parents can dedicate time to learn.

lucianotawinji:



I have, actually, I mentor kids.

And you based in naija?
My 5 yrs old son is something sweet
Maybe I should waybill him to you

We're suffering it already, looking around you everybody is aggressive, it's all about power and violence, survival of the fittest.


Not just government in fact people are more of the problem.

I wonder how this change can be implemented.

There are fragments of violence everywhere. It seems violence is one of the first things kids learn. If they don't learn from their parents, they learn it in schools...everywhere.

Verbal abuse is another cancer.

ahnie:

And you based in naija?
My 5 yrs old son is something sweet
Maybe I should waybill him to you

Yes, I am based in Naija and I would love to help if you really need it. You don't even need to way ill him, you just need to be open to learn.

But first I need to ask?

Why do you think your 5years son behaves the way he does? Just think.

Do you think something is wrong with him?

lucianotawinji:



Yes, I am based in Naija and I would love to help if you really need it. You don't even need to way ill him, you just need to be open to learn.

But first I need to ask?

Why do you think your 5years son behaves the way he does? Just think.

Do you think something is wrong with him?

He's just overtly hyperactive,some says he's just acting his age,


And nope... nothing is wrong with him.

lucianotawinji:
we must understand that beating, flogging is more about anger and ego than discipline for even it they comply after the beating, it is also more about fear and pain not about learning anything.

For discipline to be effective, it must Start by a combination of INSTRUCTION , APPROVAL and CORRECTIONS.. Without these discipline will be ineffective and useless.

Discipline is about Raise not pain. Remove the idea that "if it pains him, he won't do it again" you know it doesn't even work. Best you will produce kids that comply only when you are around....but when you travel they do very bad things...you see...you will never get "independent + responsible" kids with a Cain.

90% of parents do not know how this combinations works, and they are not ready to learn therefore they repeat what they know, how they themselves had been raised.


Now imagine raising a child the way you were raised, to live in a society that is 100times higher that the one you were raised. That's why we cannot experience so much progress in Africa.

Parents pay for every other training but they never pay for raining in parenting...they just recycle themselves and cry when the consequences hit the society be it inform of government inefficiency or society ills. They all come from the same place...family and parenting style.

I will do an intensive training on "conscious parenting " in the next two months for this very purpose. Let's see if parents can dedicate time to learn.

Well written, you remind me of my Undergrad's PSY317 Psychology of Parenting course.

That picture very well captures the vicious cycle.

Do share link when ready, if the intensive training is going to be online.

ahnie:

He's just overtly hyperactive,some says he's just acting his age,


And nope... nothing is wrong with him.

Good. As far as you think there is nothing wrong with him....then we can do this.

It starts with WHAT YOU THINK?


NOW, Imagine yelling at you son to stop yelling at his sister.

Now you have imagine it, know this: Only discipline adults can discipline a child.

For now, you can visit my blog and read some helpful articles on conscious parenting.

https://thehuman-tribe.com/2022/06/10/why-ages-2-7-matter-so-much-for-brain-development/

lucianotawinji:


That's not what it implies. It can be one of the root causes of adult violence...not the only one. They might not use the cane but they sure used other things to teach violence.

The point is, most of what is amplified in your adult life is hinged on your belief system formed when you were a kid .

Ok.