deekay29:

This seems like a growing trend among women, my long time girlfriend; very sweet indeed but had the same issue with saying sorry. I did the smart thing any man should do, i picked my battles and got over the little ones that would be considered petty. Here is my advice to you, i understand you are frustrated with your wife, but the question you need to ask yourself is this. Is your wife your friend or your enemy, if your boy farts in your mouth would you be so angry; see her more as your boy and don't sweat over the little things. Women are very difficult to deal with but are very sweet; i couldn't imagine me doing all the domestic stuff they do, cleaning, cooking, washing, massaging your ego; and still laying down to give you a good phuck, remember that we as Africans take this things for granted, but the white man calculates all this services when Divorce comes. The least you can do is let her FART all she wants.
Like i said if you are a man's man that hardly gets into issues with his boys, treat your wife better and tolerate her more than you do your boys. we all have that one friend who is a taker and never a giver or sharer but we still love them. Your wife shouldn't be any different; i hope this helps in some way. In the bigger scheme of things, saying sorry is overrated, i think you are petty to always be demanding sorry for every and anything; that's what women do and not men.

atasteve:

Although very difficult but he that forgives RULES THE WORLD AND IS THE MOST MATURED.

Wishing you all the best and God's blessings.

Outstrip:

Some people here are funny. What is all this be a man talk. What exactly will a "real man" do. Slap her around or what. The woman has some serious issues but it is not because the man is a wussy. Married people take each other for granted all the time. The vibe I get from this poster is that he and his wife are actually also very good friends besides their obvious love for each other. He still needs to use tough love but when friendship is a huge part of your relationship you cannot use the same approach that a dictatorial man that expects a subservient wife will use. After this wahala I am sure he still wants his wife to be his friend and not just the woman he married.

Gift4all:

One of the most decent thread on NL in recent time.

@ dayokanu and manliness, hope you guys will not kill me with laughter. I have been laughing (even on the street) all alone!

Many of the posters are just condemning the wife. I think we are just magnifying the issue of farting into her husband's mouth, what I call a usual family joke that was taken too far. If you read between the lines, you will not blame the woman so much. We probably are applying our African mentality of 'how can  a woman do such a thing to her husband' without asking 'how could a man be, {censored}.

@ OP, your wife may have done the wrong thing by farting into your mouth, but it appears there is more to it than just that.


[My wife said she finds it difficult saying sorry even when she knows she is wrong. Initially, I was the one always wrong and I always apologized to bury the issue. One day I overheard her apologizing to someone on phone. I felt may be to some people it is easy to say sorry while I am among those she cannot say sorry to.

I took a drastic action that shook her while I was about to travel. I stopped helping her do house chores and other things that I used to do with her like cutting the vegetables while she prepared food for the family, washing dishes, cooking etc. I also threatened the D word if she did not change.  When I came back, she seemed to have changed.]

You knew your wife finds it difficult to say sorry, u took a drastic action and she seemed to have changed. Why not just put it bluntly that she changed! You should have known during your courtship that your wife finds it difficult to apologize and was ready to live with that when you decided to marry her. And she later learned to apologize to you after all. That is a positive change on her part to make the marriage work.

[I did not stop providing for her like I was able to do anyway. Though she has no job her friends who have envy her. I am very romantic. I do not miss her birthdays. I compliment her. I appreciate her. I take her out and work around with her. I am proud to show her around my friends. I do not cheat on her.

I take care of the family like I should. I am saving to start up a small business for her. I have looked for job for her and could not find any. She does not like teaching job which was available and I understand why. She has difficulty reading and speaking English Language though she is a graduate and it becomes an insult to her if one suggests ways of improvement. (I am polite to a fault. I love her)]

She should be a good wife to be getting all this from you. She did not stop taking care of the home. She appreciates you and your care, that is why she made you understand that her working friends envy her. She is romantic too, if not she wouldn't have been accepting all you romantic, This to me is a wonderful marriage.

[At the slightest disagreement, she claims I am disrespecting her because she has no job and brings no money to the family.]

Search yourself very well, is there anything you have been saying or doing to make her that way? She is human, she may fell depressed sometimes because of this her joblessness and she may think she is a burden on you too. What have you been doing to encourage and assure her that she will soon get a job and all that.

[I am writing this because of what happened 2 days ago.
, she laughed at it, She shouted and said, so because of what happened you have decided to wear our boxers etc . . . . . NB, when the going is good, we fart around the house  and make fun of it but not into anyone's mouth. , while scolding our daughter, she said ' even you that I gave birth to is joining in kicking me like a ball all because I stay at home and have no job. She was shouting from the balcony so that everyone heard. Later on she continued, telling everyone who cared that she is suffering even though people wished to be her when they  see her drive by.

Too much in my mind.]

What is this "too much" on your mind that you have not said? The problem could be something else, not that nasty fart. When the going is good, you make do fart around and make fun of it, but when the going is bad, then, ? And when you registered you displeasure, she laughed at it, as if to say it is just the normal fun. She asked: Are you putting on your boxers just because of that? Though she took it too far this time around, she was just joking and was making fun. She should have apologized anyway.

What did you tell her at that moment? Did you insult her, the way you probably have been doing? How did you register that your displeasure? Sometimes it is not just easy to apologize to someone who is insulting you.

Every marriage have it's ups and down. Yours is a wonderful marriage, at least from what you have told us. The issue of that fart is not just a good reason to start a big problem. How will tell her parents or yours that it was that fart that caused the problem, especially what you were doing when it happened? It is the responsibility of the two of you to do everything and anything to save the marriage from problems. Call her in the village and apologize to her for feeling so bad about what she did and tell her she should come very fast because you are missing her so much. When she returns, then talk some sense into her, I believe she will understand and apologize. Thank God you are not considering divorce.

deekay29:

This seems like a growing trend among women, my long time girlfriend; very sweet indeed but had the same issue with saying sorry. I did the smart thing any man should do, i picked my battles and got over the little ones that would be considered petty. Here is my advice to you, i understand you are frustrated with your wife, but the question you need to ask yourself is this. Is your wife your friend or your enemy, if your boy farts in your mouth would you be so angry; see her more as your boy and don't sweat over the little things. Women are very difficult to deal with but are very sweet; i couldn't imagine me doing all the domestic stuff they do, cleaning, cooking, washing, massaging your ego; and still laying down to give you a good phuck, remember that we as Africans take this things for granted, but the white man calculates all this services when Divorce comes. The least you can do is let her FART all she wants.
Like i said if you are a man's man that hardly gets into issues with his boys, treat your wife better and tolerate her more than you do your boys. we all have that one friend who is a taker and never a giver or sharer but we still love them. Your wife shouldn't be any different; i hope this helps in some way. In the bigger scheme of things, saying sorry is overrated, i think you are petty to always be demanding sorry for every and anything; that's what women do and not men.  

akiolu:

@ all
She apologized. She said she never knew I could be that heartless that ignored her for 2 days. I never told her where I was going and stuff. It was a drama but it is now all over. Let me not tell more. We are happy again. I guess she told noone as no one called me. She probably ran away from the heat and the tension in the house.

I must thank you all immensely. I have learnt a lot. I know others would have learnt a bit too.

But it is hard to watch someone you love die for attention and cry for forgiveness(last moment) while you played the hard man on the surface.
It is also hard to swallow insults from a beloved.
Over all, it takes a man to do a man's job!

Thank you!

jennykadry:

Lol good for you both jare. I knew she was going to bend na today I sabi her type?

You both can now go and continue from where una stop before the farting.(no be my mouth una go hiaaa wetin dem dey call am abegiii)

coogar:

i am so so happy for you. . . .

jennykadry:

Lol good for you both jare. I knew she was going to bend na today I sabi her type?

You both can now go and continue from where una stop before the farting.(no be my mouth una go hiaaa wetin dem dey call am abegiii)

seal777:

I am happy for you in that u sequenced all the ideas given and apply the ones you needed with wisdom, Ummmm, so its true that problem shared with NAIRALANDERS is half solved, lol!!!.

God bless your home and assist those still in challenges to get over it,

Outstrip:

Aww. God bless your home Akiolu

akiolu:

Thanks manThanks a lot. We started immediately from where we stopped before the rude interruption :DYou are right Thank you

Amen to all the prayers!