Advice this you man. No insults please.

I am a 26years old man and I have been married for 2 years plus. I feel our marriage is not going well. I feel my wife sometimes becomes too relaxed towards some of our plans which is affecting our connection.
It all started when she became pregnant with our first baby. We didn't plan to have it but when she came, we kept her.
Because of that I avoided sex as I felt it could lead to pregnancy again. It hurt our feelings towards each other. We went for counselling and the pastor advised we engage in it as much as possible. We went into family planning and she was placed on contraceptives from the hospital.
One day, I travelled to visit them because I work somewhere else and she told me that she wants another baby of which I am not ready to have yet. This is because, I was working on our finances and we were building our house. I explained to her which she agreed. Only for her to take herself off the contraceptives.
Now she is pregnant and I don't want another baby yet. Even our first child, she did the same thing and I kept quite. I have not spoken with her for 3 days now. I love her but I am angry with her and it's making me contemplate parting ways with her. Am I wrong to be angry? Am I wrong to think of leaving her?
NO INSULTS AND ABUSE PLEASE. Just advice.

Don't mind her:
You have every right to be angry.
She has every right to be happy too.
You don't always have the right to be angry.
She doesn't always have the right to be happy.
Sometimes you are happy.
Sometimes she is angry.
This is one of times you are angry while she is happy.
Sometime, she will be angry while you will be happy.
Anger and happiness are turn by turn in marriage.
So, it is just your turn to be angry.
When you're done with your anger, you will accept her happiness.
After all, both of you are in it together.
Nobody goes nowhere.

By the way, the earlier you have kids in marriage, the better your focus on expanding your finances later on.

Why then did you get married since you don't want children?

You never talk wetin be your problem.

Marriage is sweet.. Bro, enjoy.

What she did was wrong... But I hate men who complain that their women 'trapped' them with babies... Use a condom... Contribute...

If you didn't want that much children you shouldn't have married an African woman, especially a Nigerian at that...

Populating the world is their specialty.

One Nigerian woman can populate a village, whereas it would take about 7 European or American women to do the same.

Spouses always claiming to be in a quarrel every time yet belle dey enter.

Datboredberri:
What she did was wrong... But I hate men who complain that their women 'trapped' them with babies... Use a condom... Contribute...

For once, take a break from commenting Bull shiit like this

Think4Myself:


For once, take a break from commenting Bull shiit like this

How so

I said she was wrong...

But if you don't want a baby, then you shouldn't go in without a condom... Make sacrifices... The choice to not have a child was his... Yet he couldn't use contraceptives?

Datboredberri:
How so

I said she was wrong...

But if you don't want a baby, then you shouldn't go in without a condom... Make sacrifices... The choice to not have a child was his... Yet he couldn't use contraceptives?

Didn't you read where he said she was supposed to be on contraceptives

Think4Myself:


Didn't you read where he said she was supposed to be on contraceptives

So If I don't want kids, instead of me to take pills, I would instruct my husband to wear condoms during sex?

The man doesn't want a child... He should have made an effort... He just commanded his wife to take pills... And that's stupid... He doesn't even care that they damage her body...

Datboredberri:


So If I don't want kids, instead of me to take pills, I would instruct my husband to wear condoms during sex?

The man doesn't want a child... He should have made an effort... He just commanded his wife to take pills... And that's stupid... He doesn't even care that they damage her body...

You always want to be right, ok na you're right abeg

Bluezy13:
Don't mind her:
You have every right to be angry.
She has every right to be happy too.
You don't always have the right to be angry.
She doesn't always have the right to be happy.
Sometimes you are happy.
Sometimes she is angry.
This is one of times you are angry while she is happy.
Sometime, she will be angry while you will be happy.
Anger and happiness are turn by turn in marriage.
So, it is just your turn to be angry.
When you're done with your anger, you will accept her happiness.
After all, both of you are in it together.
Nobody goes nowhere.

By the way, the earlier you have kids in marriage, the better your focus on expanding your finances later on.

Lol! In summary! Life na turn by turn.

GoldenJAT:
Lol! In summary! Life na turn by turn.

I swear

Why did you now marry if you don't want a baby? Because that's basically why most men marry at least, part of the reasons .

I'm a guy, but i gats be honest with you man marriage is a two partner affair... You've told her what you want but have you asked her what she want?? Don't pressure her to accept what you want...let her make choices in her own free will.... Children are very wonderful to have. I feel it'll be selfish to stop her from not having children because you want to.
Plus do you know that contraceptives has some side effect?? I know of someone that almost got damaged because of that?? But i haven't seen somewhere that condoms damage someone... You want to enjoy sex wella by going raw but you don't want kids .
Bia, coordinate yourself ohh.

In as much as you're planning based on your financial capacity, its good to have kids early not when you're 60yrs that your 1st child would just be entering primary1, when do you wanna reason the fruit of your labour? Is it when you're already too old to even chew meat??
Just plan what you can handle, you don't have to born batallions.





As our Ancestors would say "A man can only be called father when he has a child".

When I am married and I don't want children for the moment, I think I should make use of condoms instead of putting my wife on contraceptives, especially when she wants children.

You enjoyed raw sex and get angry because your wife has her way, but you won't use condoms to be on a safer side from your own end.

Datboredberri:
What she did was wrong... But I hate men who complain that their women 'trapped' them with babies... Use a condom... Contribute...

You are very correct, I was thinking the same thing too. Why not use condoms or he thinks condoms are for only girlfriend? Most married African men dislikes condoms the moment they are married for reasons best known to them.

Mhistasaints:
Now she is pregnant and I don't want another baby yet. Even our first child, she did the same thing and I kept quite. I have not spoken with her for 3 days now. I love her but I am angry with her and it's making me contemplate parting ways with her. Am I wrong to be angry? Am I wrong to think of leaving her?
NO INSULTS AND ABUSE PLEASE. Just advice.

First baby, you no learn. Now second baby! Stop leaving it all on her then. Use a condom each time you both have sex and keep your peace of mind. Simple!

And Ol' boy, no leave your condoms where she can poke holes in them and then you come back to tell us more stories abeg.

Danielle09:
She probably doesn't want to waste time, she obviously want to be done with babies before she hit a certain age. You can't blame her for this in fact you shouldn't be angry with her about this issue

Since you're married, let her have the child, God go provide wetyn u go use take care of them. Man up and call her make peace with her ok

Have children they both can't fend for? What nonsense is this?

H0didon:
Why did you now marry if you don't want a baby? Because that's basically why most men marry at least, part of the reasons .

And where is it written that marriage is only for those who want babies abeg?

You always thing to would right, ok na you're right awouldg

You don't want kids but you had unprotected sex with her, released inside her and now you're blaming her for getting pregnant. Oga you're both responsible for her pregnancy so stop shifting the blame to her...and to even think of divorcing her because of this issue shows that you're still very immature in reasoning regardless of how old you are in age.

Next time practice withdrawal method or better still use a condom, at least you'll be sure that she wouldn't take in. For now, congratulations on your wife's pregnancy and start making preparations cos you're going to become a father very soon.

You are married to a manipulative, selfish and dumb woman. I would have divorced such woman.

Demigod22:
When I am married and I don't want children for the moment, I think I should make use of condoms instead of putting my wife on contraceptives, especially when she wants children.

You enjoyed raw sex and get angry because your wife has her way, but you won't use condoms to be on a safer side from your own end.

She was to be on birth control. Why would he still use condom on a woman that was said to be on birth control? That's illogical.

H0didon:
Why did you now marry if you don't want a baby? Because that's basically why most men marry at least, part of the reasons .

I'm a guy, but i gats be honest with you man marriage is a two partner affair... You've told her what you want but have you asked her what she want?? Don't pressure her to accept what you want...let her make choices in her own free will.... Children are very wonderful to have. I feel it'll be selfish to stop her from not having children because you want to.
Plus do you know that contraceptives has some side effect?? I know of someone that almost got damaged because of that?? But i haven't seen somewhere that condoms damage someone... You want to enjoy sex wella by going raw but you don't want kids .
Bia, coordinate yourself ohh.

In as much as you're planning based on your financial capacity, its good to have kids early not when you're 60yrs that your 1st child would just be entering primary1, when do you wanna reason the fruit of your labour? Is it when you're already too old to even chew meat??
Just plan what you can handle, you don't have to born batallions.





As our Ancestors would say "A man can only be called father when he has a child".

Stop being ignorant. Procreation is not the only reason people go into marriage.

Datboredberri:


So If I don't want kids, instead of me to take pills, I would instruct my husband to wear condoms during sex?

The man doesn't want a child... He should have made an effort... He just commanded his wife to take pills... And that's stupid... He doesn't even care that they damage her body...

Commanded his wife? Was she forced? A woman that wasn't coerced into being on birth control definitely gave consent. The man was not expected to use any condom since his wife was on birth control. Why wear a bullet proof vest when there's no violence or war?

Danielle09:
She probably doesn't want to waste time, she obviously want to be done with babies before she hit a certain age. You can't blame her for this in fact you shouldn't be angry with her about this issue

Since you're married, let her have the child, God go provide wetyn u go use take care of them. Man up and call her make peace with her ok

The guy definitely need to put all the blame on her. She made them have babies by deceit and that's breach of trust. They are a couple doesn't mean there shouldn't be morals.

Zonefree:
Why then did you get married since you don't want children?

You never talk wetin be your problem.

Where did he write that he wants no kids? And when since having kids become the only reason for marriage?

MufasaLion:


Where did he write that he wants no kids? And when since having kids become the only reason for marriage?

Aside procreation, what's the essence of marriage with a Nigerian girl?

Zonefree:

Aside procreation, what's the essence of marriage with a Nigerian girl?

I am not here to debate or insult Nigerian women, if that's your aim. If you can't have intellectual conversations, then don't qoute me again.

MufasaLion:


I am not here to debate or insult Nigerian women, if that's your aim. If you can't have intellectual conversations, then don't qoute me again.

I wasn't planning to engage you further.