If any man starts getting jealous of my progress, he gets kicked to the curb ASAP.
For one, my personality is waaaaaaaaaaay to strong to be dominated by ANY man.
So, this is a reflective topic.
I have seen a lot of Nigerian men beat/kill their wives out of jealousy.
The most recent case of Titi Arowolo comes to mind.
When a woman is progressing, does the man not benefit?

This happens all over the world, especially in societies dominated by male chauvinists with 'Sharia-Chrislamic' mentalities who believe women have "designated" roles like men.

Why is it that when a Nigerian woman is succeeding and filling the 'bread-winning' role of a home a typical 'bush' Nigerian man is not happy, especially if the man is the jobless one?

Why can't all Nigerian couples be like Omotola Jalade and Mathew Ekeinde?

I am looking for role models of Nigerian men who support their wives.

My husband used to be like that, but has since learned a lot from the American culture. He stays employed and does not bother with my paychecks(not that he can reach them anyhoo). He is supportive of my decisions in what I choose to do with or without him. He does NOT cater to gossip about me or our family members.

Just to keep the 'busy-bodies' informed so they do no think this thread is about me.

I work with a lot of Nigerian women and the story is the same. I know a lot of Nigerian families with women who do not feel that their husbands are supportive them.

My role models?

The winner is Omotola Jalade and Mathew Ekeinde.

I love the way this couple work with each other.

http://www.businessdayonline.com/NG/index.php/family/23561-its-your-duty-not-mine

[size=20pt] It’s your duty, not mine. [/size]

Friday, 24 June 2011 00:00 Elizabeth Oghale Ughoro    .While some men do not fancy the idea of sharing household chores with their wives, others do. In this report, Elizabeth Oghale Ughoro looks at the place of androgynous parenting in today’s homes

Lucy is a beautiful, hardworking, married career woman with three children. Due to her kind of work, she leaves home early in the morning and returns late in the evening, about two hours after her Dele, her husband.

Dele is a loving father and wonderful husband, who due to his background, does not see anything wrong in waiting for his wife to come back from work and start cooking dinner for the family, as far as he is concerned, he can’t just cook, even though he can.

For him, such an endeavour is not just befitting for a man. It is a woman’s job. And taking care of the home, including cooking, is solely his wife’s responsibility.

Traditionally, women are the primary care givers in their homes; they cook, clean, tend to the children and husbands, and ensure proper running of their homes; while the husbands are primarily responsible for providing financially to the family. But today, due to western influence, things have changed. Women no longer stay homes from dusk to dawn, taking care of their homes; more women now contribute, sometimes even more than the husbands. Women now have professional careers, which not only enables them to contribute financially to their homes, but also reduces the amount of time they spend at home.

If a husband and wife have to both contribute in the home and earn a living by going out in the morning and returning in the evening, would it not be totally right to share house chores too, like cooking for instance, instead of leaving the running of the home entirely to the woman, even the upbringing of children?

Adebola Okorie, an accountant and mother of two, feels that society’s canons are not fair to married women, but feels that “The pressure society puts on women is unbelievable: you are pressured into get married, and when you do, it is very difficult because you have to work and take care of the home at the same time. But then It would not hurt if men were more understanding and help out with the housekeeping too,” she says.

Similarly, Eunice Pratt, a lawyer and mother of two, believes housekeeping duties should not be the job of a wife alone.

“I have a demanding job; I even work longer hours, and I know how difficult it is, so I ensuring that everything is in place. My husband is very understanding; he helps around the house and even prepares dinner whenever he knows that I’ll be home late.

“Doing that does not mean he is weak; it only shows that he is caring and understanding.”

However, some men do not agree with hare household chores with their wives. How many men even know how to change their baby’s diapers or even bathe them? Will such a man be a weakling if he helps out regularly around the house? A man who spoke on condition of anonymity, says “The reason a woman will expect her husband to do her duties in the house is as a result of the useless notion of feminism, which is a serious disease that is eating up many African women, making them feel that they are equal to men. Why else would a woman have the guts to ask her husband to go into the kitchen and cook? I am a typical African man, and feminism is totally against the African culture,” he stresses.

Emmanuel Igho is married with three children, and speaks from a biblical perspective when explaining the place of a woman in the home: “How can a man do the work of a woman? Even the Bible says that women should take care of their homes, just like the story of the virtuous woman.

“Wives of nowadays feel that they have to work, so because they want to contribute to their family’s income, they should ignore their primary duties at home?”

But on the contrary, Taiwo Adekunle feels that many Nigerian men use tradition and culture as an excuse not to help their wives out.

For him, “It is high time Nigerian men realise that women are not slaves, and should not be treated as such. A man is not weakling for helping out around the house; in fact; only a weak man would not.”

Michael Badmus, a psychologist, feels that “Sharing household responsibilities among married couples can make them closer, and thereby strengthen their marriage. It will show just how much they care for, and understand each other; it will also go a long way in reducing the divorce rate in the country which seems to be on the increase.”

A research also shows that for every extra hour of housework men did, their risk of divorce decreased by 51 percent, as husbands who shared household chores with their wives, led a fairly happy domestic life.



In his book, Fatherhood, Bill Cosby writes about his personal experience as a father.

In the book, he stresses that other than breastfeeding and getting pregnant, fathers can do virtually everything wives do. He sees nothing wrong with a man preparing breakfast for the whole family with his wife in bed.

The toll of modern day living is hard on many families, especially children. Even before the global recession, many families found it difficult to get by. More women are largely supplementing the family income; some women even earn more than their husbands. Would it then be out of place if such were a little more supportive?

Some women are capable of handling the pressure of waking up at 4am, prepare breakfast, lunch and dinner, while maintaining a 10-hour shift; some women can also leave home very early for their shops and return after dark to cook dinner and bathe their kids, but not all women can.

Some families can afford nannies and house helps, but having nannies and house helps are not the realities of a typical Nigerian family; it is more of struggling to make ends meet. Hard as it may seem for some men to believe, it may be very difficult for a woman to cope with a crying baby; dirty laundry, dirty dishes, and homework on a weekend that she is supposed to rest, while her husband does nothing, but sit on the sitting room couch, watching sports all day.

As Michael Badmus says, skewed role-sharing in homes, especially between married couples may not be healthy for a marriage. A man cooking dinner for his wife before she comes home from work does not make him a weakling. Some men have said that women should get jobs that would not keep them away from their “wifely and motherly” duties, but not every wife is lucky enough to get well-paying jobs that will allow them to leave to close from work early enough to get home and be the loving women their husbands married; the truth of the matter is that women have to work.

As Adebola Okorie says, “Nigerian men should become house husbands and working fathers for a change; let’s see how manly they will be afterwards.”

Gosh! 2 more hours to close. . . Yippppeeee!!!!

http://www.gamji.com/article4000/NEWS4559.htm

Haven digressed a bit, I return to the issue of Nigerian men and their foreign wives. [size=20pt] I am stunned, perplexed, taken aback by the transformation Nigerian men, married to non-Nigerian women,[/size] have gone through in the United States (and perhaps all over the Western world). My goodness, here are a group of macho men, fiercely independent, with a burgeoning sense of entitlement who thinks the world belongs to them; and that women are made to be at their beck-and-call. Here they are; they have suddenly or gradually gone soft and sensitive and romantic and wide-eyed. How did these groups of men become “oh baby, oh baby” kind of guys? How did they become “yes honey, yes sweetheart, yes darling” kind of fellas? What has happened to them? What got to their hearts and soul?


[size=20pt]Why are Nigerian men afraid to turn control over to their Nigerian wives? [/size]


Why are they averse to showing their sensitive side? Why the need to control and dominate? Why are Nigerian men reluctant to take their wives on a romantic walk to the parks and beaches, buy roses and cards? Why the need to bottle up their romantic side? Why have they refused to do for their Nigerian wives what they would heartily do for non-Nigerian women? After all, Nigerian women, unlike their foreign counterparts usually do not demand to be co-captains of the house. They usually do not demand for more than is earthly possible. And way more than their foreign counterparts they understand what it means to be a wife and a partner; they understand what it means to be part of the extended family.

Why do Nigerian men become 'women-wrappers' to foreign women?
Is it because the Nigerian woman do not know how to suck?
Why don't they like to 'suck' us like they suck foreign women. . . even with shyte in their bottoms?

on your own

Always on my own. I dun wanno see any cyber riff-raff on ma thread o! Make dem dress go one corner abeg. Abi I dey go dem dem ye-ye threads?

Shiooooooor!!!!

More stories to come. I dey for my bed. Make I reassssh wor f'o'rst.
Not easy to type from this I-Phone of a business.

hey chintua keep it coming , am a fan of this thread already.

kudos**

Subscribed.

Find a man that is not jealous, cool.