Ladymaceral:
Even when I'm not showing it, I'm so worried.
My husband is really stubborn and wouldn't listen.

He has been on loan with some people, which he refused to pay back.
He gradually migrated to loan app some months ago. He's currently owning about 5 loan app and they've started threatening him.
He borrowed to fund his bet nija (sport betting) which has been the only problem in our home.

Since two days, he has been so cold. I know he's in a big problem. He finally opened up this morning that he borrowed 37k altogether, but due to default, everything is 87k as at today.
I ignore him and pay deaf ears to it because I've been warning him about loaning money from app.

I don't ask him for money in this house, because he doesn't always have to give and I told him not to ask me as well.

The truth is, I have up to this amount to give him before they start sending those self deforming messages to his contact.
But one thought is telling me not to involve myself in his disobedient.
I'm so sad because many of my family people will also get these messages.
Is going to be so shameful.

Please, what would you advise? Could it be this is a way to change him for good after the embarrassement ?
Matured mind please

Ladymaceral:
Even when I'm not showing it, I'm so worried.
My husband is really stubborn and wouldn't listen.

He has been on loan with some people, which he refused to pay back.
He gradually migrated to loan app some months ago. He's currently owning about 5 loan app and they've started threatening him.
He borrowed to fund his bet nija (sport betting) which has been the only problem in our home.

Since two days, he has been so cold. I know he's in a big problem. He finally opened up this morning that he borrowed 37k altogether, but due to default, everything is 87k as at today.
I ignore him and pay deaf ears to it because I've been warning him about loaning money from app.

I don't ask him for money in this house, because he doesn't always have to give and I told him not to ask me as well.

The truth is, I have up to this amount to give him before they start sending those self deforming messages to his contact.
But one thought is telling me not to involve myself in his disobedient.
I'm so sad because many of my family people will also get these messages.
Is going to be so shameful.

Please, what would you advise? Could it be this is a way to change him for good after the embarrassement ?
Matured mind please

Zonefree:
[b][/b]
Don't pay the loan and don't feel bad about anything. Any member of your family that feels sad or whatever about the message they will receive should help pay the loan or better mind their business.

To help your husband pay the loan will facilitate him to borrow more and squander it on same betting. Allow him to sort his loan.

Just be buying him two bottles of beer from your money every evening to help reduce his thinking.

Mariangeles:


Onye a o wu gi?

vakjay08:
Hmm.
I don't think in the case of loan apps - leaving your husband until he learns his lesson will work. The debt will continue to compile and God help you both that it doesn't get to the point that you both can't handle.

Since he at the moment is sober, I advice you talk sense to him this one last time. [b]Let him know that you will clear the debt but turn a deaf ears when such arises again. Make him give you his words in the presence of an [/b]elder he holds in esteem.

VeryWickedMan:
If you know that he plays bet9ja then he definitely shares winnings with you.

thesicilian:

Don't give him. He'll just mismanage it again, or pay the loan and take a much bigger one. Compulsive gamblers like that need to hit rock bottom before they can realise the extent of their problems and change for good.

Richy4:
You said he doesn't give you money and you don't ask him for..So;
<<If u have kids, who pays their school fees?
<< Who pays for rent And utilities?
<< Groceries..., How do both of you navigate it if u don't ask him money and he doesn't ask you?
<< Is he the one taking care of those bills using those apps and u mistook it that he was gambling money away due to his limited resources?
<< Can you clarify those points so that people can advise u accordingly... Instead of advising based on limited information..
<<These whole thing is about money matters and it has messed up a lot of relationships..

Ladymaceral:
I don't ask him for money in this house, because he doesn't always have to give and I told him not to ask me as well.

The truth is, I have up to this amount to give him before they start sending those self deforming messages to his contact. But one thought is telling me not to involve myself in his disobedient. I'm so sad because many of my family people will also get these messages. Is going to be so shameful.

Please, what would you advise? Could it be this is a way to change him for good after the embarrassement ?

Zonefree:
[b][/b]
Don't pay the loan and don't feel bad about anything. Any member of your family that feels sad or whatever about the message they will receive should help pay the loan or better mind their business.

To help your husband pay the loan will facilitate him to borrow more and squander it on same betting. Allow him to sort his loan.

Just be buying him two bottles of beer from your money every evening to help reduce his thinking.

Ladymaceral:
Even when I'm not showing it, I'm so worried.
My husband is really stubborn and wouldn't listen.

He has been on loan with some people, which he refused to pay back.
He gradually migrated to loan app some months ago. He's currently owning about 5 loan app and they've started threatening him.
He borrowed to fund his bet nija (sport betting) which has been the only problem in our home.

Since two days, he has been so cold. I know he's in a big problem. He finally opened up this morning that he borrowed 37k altogether, but due to default, everything is 87k as at today.
I ignore him and pay deaf ears to it because I've been warning him about loaning money from app.

I don't ask him for money in this house, because he doesn't always have to give and I told him not to ask me as well.

The truth is, I have up to this amount to give him before they start sending those self deforming messages to his contact.
But one thought is telling me not to involve myself in his disobedient.
I'm so sad because many of my family people will also get these messages.
Is going to be so shameful.

Please, what would you advise? Could it be this is a way to change him for good after the embarrassement ?
Matured mind please

idomalord:





Stand by him.
He needs your help even though he is stubborn.
Never listen to women most especially who will tell u to leave your husband or have u forgotten, u said " for better or worse till death do u part".

Ladymaceral:
I pay all the bills including our son's school fees. The last time, I kept mute until they drove him from school for school fees default two days to his birthday, yet my husband never care. He asked me to go to the school and beg them till month end, the following day I made the payment and told him I borrowed it from my mom. Till today, he refused to refund.

I eventually struggle to pay for everything in this house. While he keeps giving excuses.

I know he need serious help, but I can't figure out what really happened to this life that is so broken like this.

Several times, I've told him about divorce, but he kept on begging.

I'm just confused.

faithfull18:
You really can't help someone who hasn't personally realized he needs to change. I wish you well.

Ladymaceral:
I pay all the bills including our son's school fees. The last time, I kept mute until they drove him from school for school fees default two days to his birthday, yet my husband never care. He asked me to go to the school and beg them till month end, the following day I made the payment and told him I borrowed it from my mom. Till today, he refused to refund.
I eventually struggle to pay for everything in this house. While he keeps giving excuses.

I know he need serious help, but I can't figure out what really happened to this life that is so broken like this. Several times, I've told him about divorce, but he kept on begging. I'm just confused.

thesicilian:

Don't give him. He'll just mismanage it again, or pay the loan and take a much bigger one. Compulsive gamblers like that need to hit rock bottom before they can realise the extent of their problems and change for good.

blaquebelle:
Do you realise that if he hits rock bottom she's going down with him?

Kobojunkie:
How so?

blaquebelle:


Do you realise that if he hits rock bottom she's going down with him?

[b]Madam. You're in a partnership now. Help him and pray for him. Look for other methods to help him with his addiction after this. Make sure you [/b]communicate properly.