MadarasBlade:


Tell him to rent another place and visit his family every weekend. Women do not respect men they help or cater for, she might act all kind now but down the line her negative traits will surface. It's how they all act.

Person wey no get money or job dey rent house?? He should swallow his pride and thank God he has a landing in his down time..

Women will be women...they are not wired to be the sole breadwinners ...it makes them feel cheated and defensive....

.but that doesnt mean she will wake up and send him out.... the nigga should go and focus on getting his life back and build trust with his wife...instead of lookimg foe how to complicate the marriage by living elsewhere

Axis313:

Actually since things went south for the man,and the wife became the breadwinner of the family,the wife actually behaving rudely towards him, that's why I think at least he should reach an agreement with her to keep the documents if at all he's going to live under her roof.
But,it's just an advice sha,he is considering other options.

Was a disagreement regarding land ownership to begin with that you felt to bring up the land documents in this?

Did the women claim the land belonged to her alone since she funded much of the cost for the house built on it?

Na so una dey begin wahala where wahala no dey at all be this?

Kobojunkie:
Was a disagreement regarding land ownership to begin with that you felt to bring up the land documents in this?

Did the women claim the land belonged to her alone since she funded much of the cost for the house built on it?

Na so una dey begin wahala where wahala no dey at all be this?

From the narration, the land upon which the house near completion was built on was bought by the woman, it is different from the one she and her husband was building on before he lost his job.

So the land documents is in her name.

Mindlog:
From the narration, the land upon which the house near completion was built on was bought by the woman, it is different from the one she and her husband was building on before he lost he lost his job.

So the land documents is in her name.

I am trying to understand the reason for the land document mention is what. If the land on which her property is built is not the husband's, why did OP mention the husband's own land document in this

so she saw her husband struggling to find something to do to help the family,
she had Money to buy land,
to build on it, complete the building

and couldn't help her husband open up a business, couldn't invest in the man.
unless he was not business oriented or lazy she was a terrible person and a bad wife. The fact that she kept insulting him adds to my verdict .


If he goes With her she will destroy his confidence completely and then kick him out for the slightest reasons.

advanceDNA:


Person wey no get money or job dey rent house?? He should swallow his pride and thank God he has a landing in his down time..

Women will be women...they are not wired to be the sole breadwinners ...it makes them feel cheated and defensive....

.but that doesnt mean she will wake up and send him out.... the nigga should go and focus on getting his life back and build trust with his wife...instead of lookimg foe how to complicate the marriage by living elsewhere

So you suggests that he moves in with a wife that insults him at any given chance?

I think he's better alone.

I continue to tell men, if you don't have money, sorry for you,.

Axis313:

Actually since things went south for the man,and the wife became the breadwinner of the family,the wife actually behaving rudely towards him, that's why I think at least he should reach an agreement with her to keep the document s if at all he's going to live under her roof.
But,it's just an advice sha,he is considering other options.

I actually find it very funny you keep talking about this keeping the documents if he's going to live there.
What exactly does it achieve, boost his ego, change the fact that his wife owns the house? what exactly?

MadarasBlade:


So you suggests that he moves in with a wife that insults him at any given chance?

I think he's better alone.

I continue to tell men, if you don't have money, sorry for you,.

Then where does he get the money to live alone? All he needs is a job.


I don't understand why we are not being realistic.

MadarasBlade:


So you suggests that he moves in with a wife that insults him at any given chance?

I think he's better alone.

I continue to tell men, if you don't have money, sorry for you,.

It's his ego that's talking...the woman doesn't insult him at any given chance...
..she fends for the home..he eats...she even built a house and say they should stop paying rent and you all are trying to paint her as a devil...

.have you not heard men that say their wife insult them even though the man pays all the bills... thats woman for you.... they always have small madness...

its the man's ego and sitution that's making him notice small things he should ignore in his wife's behaviour

Okay.. where does he want to stay...??
He has no money...no job...

This woman is his wife not an outsider...
I dont know why you people are blowing it out of proportion......

what do you think the marriage will turn to when the man says he's not moving in with his family but going to the village..remember he has no job to pay rent ...so how will he stay near his family....?? Please answer..

NoToPile:


Then where does he get the money to live alone? All he needs is a job.


I don't understand why we are not being realistic.

And i understand why you're not realistic.

If you have a time and data spare,then its time for you to start earning in dollars..

Its might not be too big,but it can pay some bills.. That's the link below.....

Kobojunkie:
Put himself in what way? Does he no longer intend to stay married to the wife or what?,

Can you stay with an abusive partner under her roof?

Op has been shouting document document.
What's he planning to do with the document? What will change if he holds it? All the woman will do is give him a copy or outrightly refuse.

If she built a house without him knowing,she may be fine with moving into it without him coming along as well.She has him by the balls,she knows he has no money to rent his own place, so he isn't in a position to give ultimatums.

Maybe he should go back to his parents house and operate from there.

It might be better than living in the oppression the OP has described.

Ahmed0336:
Can you stay with an abusive partner under her roof?

First of all, the narrative provided in the OP here seems to be coming from, not the husband in the marriage but an outsider whose idea of abuse seems to be warped by the delusion that a husband is meant to be a god over his wife.

Second, if the man is indeed in what is an abusive relationship then he ought instead to seek an out from the marriage itself, and his friend, the OP ought to advice him along the same lines but it doesn't seem to be an option any of them are even considering.

She had so much money to buy a new a land , when they had one already.
At least she would have used the money to start a new business for her husband.
Then develop the land they had already.
I wonder where all the love they shared with travelled to?

crackhaus:
Funny stuff...

I'm more concerned that she bought a land, developed it, and subsequently started building a house on it almost to completion before bringing it to his attention.

This may seem okay to most people going by the comments above (and that's a pointer to how fvcked up our mentalities about marriage have become)... I however, consider it a red flag.
Even if she didn't think he could support financially, he definitely could have been of some help with some materials purchase and supervising/managing the workers at the construction site.

Tell your family friend he MUST not move into that new property else whatever he "claims" he is facing now will be like child's play compared to what he'll encounter if he moves with her. He should sort himself out.

lilyheaven:
She had so much money to buy a new a land , when they had one already.
At least she would have used the money to start a new business for her husband.
Then develop the land they had already.
I wonder where all the love they shared with travelled to?

Dem tell you say the man problem be say him need money to start a new business ni?

Develop the land they already had? Land which you lot insist belongs to him regardless of what she does to it?

What love where told they shared? So since childhood till now you never yet figure out say no be every marriage dey built on love particularly where one person is expected to live in submission to another by society and not by choice?.

What the frell is wrong with the educational system that it keeps churning out half-baked minds abeg?

This one is looking for who to stroll with.
Na dream land I dey , come and meet me inside dream.

Kobojunkie:
Dem tell you say the man problem be say him need money to start a new business ni?

Develop the land they already had? Land which you lot insist belongs to him regardless of what she does to it?

What love where you they shared? So since childhood till now you never yet figure out say no be every marriage dey built on love particularly where one particular is expected to live in submission to another by society and not by choice?.

What the frell is wrong with the educational system that it keeps churning out half baked minds abeg?

lilyheaven:
This one is looking for who to stroll with.
Na dream land I dey , come and meet me inside dream.

Given what you have expressed so far of the contents of that your mental, I would instead opt for one of them psychedelic trips abeg! At least my mind go know well say na delusion I dey dig well, no confusion..

Kobojunkie:
First of all, the narrative provided in the OP here seems to be coming from, not the husband in the marriage but an outsider whose idea of abuse seems to be warped by the delusion that a husband is meant to be a god over his wife.

Second, if the man is indeed in what is an abusive relationship then he ought instead to seek an out from the marriage itself, and his friend, the OP ought to advice him along the same lines but it doesn't seem to be an option any of them are even considering.

Married?

lilyheaven:
She had so much money to buy a new a land , when they had one already.
At least she would have used the money to start a new business for her husband.
Then develop the land they had already.
I wonder where all the love they shared with travelled to?

It's on sabbatical.

Onye Nigeria

Kobojunkie:
Given what you have expressed so far of the contents of that your mental, I would instead opt for one of them psychedelic trips abeg! At least my mind go know well say na delusion I dey dig well, no confusion..

Axis313:

Actually since things went south for the man,and the wife became the breadwinner of the family,the wife actually behaving rudely towards him,that's why I think at least he should reach an agreement with her to keep the documents if at all he's going to live under her roof.
But,it's just an advice sha,he is considering other options.

Whoever came up with the idea of collecting a woman's house documents, her hard earned sweat, is an evil person.


Can any man hand over his house documents to his own wife for any reason?



I don't know the kind of weak women who are marrying horrid men like this!


If he can't tolerate her, he should walk away naw.


Haba

Axis313:

Actually since things went south for the man,and the wife became the breadwinner of the family,the wife actually behaving rudely towards him,that's why I think at least he should reach an agreement with her to keep the documents if at all he's going to live under her roof.
But,it's just an advice sha,he is considering other options.

Whoever came up with the idea of collecting a woman's house documents, her hard earned sweat, is an evil person.


Can any man hand over his house documents to his own wife for any reason?



I don't know the kind of weak women who are marrying horrid men like this!


If he can't tolerate her, he should walk away naw.


Haba mana

advanceDNA:


You keep repeating this "keep the document"
What will now happen if he keeps the document and they fight....will he claim ownership of house that doesn't belong to him??

Marriage is a risk...if it works out ...fine
If not...move on...what he should be doing now is getting back on his feet...

.not living life in fear and seeing his wife as his potential enemy that will eject him soon.....

he doesnt even trust the woman seff...the marriage cannot last with his current mindset...

I don't see that marriage lasting either.


It's toxic to both of them.

advanceDNA:


Person wey no get money or job dey rent house?? He should swallow his pride and thank God he has a landing in his down time..

Women will be women...they are not wired to be the sole breadwinners ...it makes them feel cheated and defensive....

.but that doesnt mean she will wake up and send him out.... the nigga should go and focus on getting his life back and build trust with his wife...instead of lookimg foe how to complicate the marriage by living elsewhere

Men and women live in different planets, our way of thinking is so different.


A woman will easily understand your point, but men will not.

Saintmary:



Men and women live in different planets, our way of thinking is so different.


A woman will easily understand your point, but men will not.

Only men with trust issues and ego problem will have a problem with something this simple..
.i know some women sometimes have a problem providing for a man not doing anything...but she has been doing it and has even built a place for them....

.another lady would have looked for a way to fight with the man..so that he won't move with her and her kids to the new house...but she was still supportive...

U are having a down time....ur wife is doing fine...shes your wife...not an outsider or a roommate you met on campus....why is afraid of her all of a sudden...Unless he has been wicked to her before when he had money....

this type of stuff happens like everyday....and I've seen men that never get back on their feet...its as if God paired such people so that whem downtime comes the other person can take the baton

advanceDNA:


Only men with trust issues and ego problem will have a problem with something this simple..
.i know some women sometimes have a problem providing for a man not doing anything...but she has been doing it and has even built a place for them....

.another lady would have looked for a way to fight with the man..so that he won't move with her and her kids to the new house...but she was still supportive...

U are having a down time....ur wife is doing fine...shes your wife...not an outsider or a roommate you met on campus....why is afraid of her all of a sudden...Unless he has been wicked to her before when he had money....

this type of stuff happens like everyday....and I've seen men that never get back on their feet...its as if God paired such people so that whem downtime comes the other person can take the baton

See, I get you




But a lot of factors contributed to the sorry state of the mental health of most of these men, so, rather than waste my energy doing unpaid psychoanalysis, I'd focus on having a relaxing Friday evening, what do you think?

These are problems for people that do his and hers in marriage. If it was theirs from the beginning, there would have been no issues.

Most likely

advanceDNA:


why is afraid of her all of a sudden...Unless he has been wicked to her before when he had money....

Saintmary:



See, I get you




But a lot of factors contributed to the sorry state of the mental health of most of these men, so, rather than waste my energy doing unpaid psychoanalysis, I'd focus on having a relaxing Friday evening, what do you think?

Lol....thank God it's Friday...having a relaxing evening is always the aim....

Ahmed0336:

Married?

Well, duh! They are married.