Jay5mie:
If there's anything I've learnt with all my years on Nairaland, it's never take women seriously, talkless of getting married.

Modupetemmy1:
I suggest you sit her down and have heart to heart talk with her, then the conclusion of the talk will determine if you will go for dna test, but think it very well oooo
Cos if after it and the baby is yours wallai if your wife get to find out I am sure she won't forgive you for ever and ever

Johnnyjohnnyman:
Good morning all. My wife and I separated in 2020 for seven months we have reconciled in september 2020 and she took in the same month but I still have doubts because while she we were separated she had cheated on me with her colleague at work. Which I had Proofs. The reason why I have accepted her back was because the fault was mine I didn't cheat on her. I lost my job and my boss gifted me 300k I didn't know tell her anything and I confided to my sister in Benin Republic I sent her 200k to buy goods for me and she duped me. When she found out she started abusing me to the extend I had to leave the house and moved away to stay with my mother. I still doubts about the paternity of our fourth child because she doesn't look anything like me nor her mother. I strongly believed she was already pregnant that is why she came back begging me to return back home. The more the baby is growing up the more she is looking like her colleague. Ever since we had reconciled everything is perfectly fine our relationship is stronger than before but I can't stop thinking about the baby not being my own. I want to take her for a secret dna test but if the result came out I am not the father my family will be ripped off and I don't want divorce but i can't also live not knowing if I am truly her father or not. What would you advise me to do should I go ahead with the secret dna or not I just want to know the truth bur I am scared of the outcome

Modupetemmy1:
I suggest you sit her down and have heart to heart talk with her, then the conclusion of the talk will determine if you will go for dna test, but think it very well oooo
Cos if after it and the baby is yours wallai if your wife get to find out I am sure she won't forgive you for ever and ever

crackhaus:
She didn't cheat on you nau...

Try to get the thought that she cheated out of your head because if y'all were separated at the time she had sex with her colleague, then it's not infidelityunless you're looking at it strictly through the lens of religion.

This notwithstanding however, none of the above excuses the fact that she may have brought in a love-child for you to play daddy to.
I consider women who can engage in paternity fraud and still sleep well as being capable of murder, na so I feel...

So please run the DNA test, run it secretly, and run it fast.

Richy4:

Hope you were not being sarcastic... Because It is cheating / infidelity in my opinion without even putting religion into it...A situation by which couple were no longer living together, but are still legally until a judge grants them a divorce is separation...Key word is Legal..

And you know there are three kinds of separation...
<<Trial separation: When spouses needs a break from each other, while contemplating whether or not to divorce..
<<permanent separation: Spouses lives apart without any intention to reconcile, but were not divorced
<< legal separation..an arrangement by which a couple remain married but live apart, following a court orders

In this case OP and his spouse were just on a trial separation...and she cheated while legally involved and u said it wasn't infidelity?

crackhaus:

Whatever kind of separation it is, as long as it was a decision/agreement both couples came to with their full senses intact, I do not consider having sex with other people during such a time as cheating/infidelity.

Perhaps it's just me, but I do know a few people personally who hold same thoughts.

bukatyne:


What is the wife not forgiving in this matter?

There is also nothing to talk about.

The OP should run a DNA test if the paternity of the child really matters to him.

Next time, if someone wants to come back in this manner, give it sometime so some of the reasons can manifest.

If you waited at least 6 months to observe, you won't be in this mess.

Modupetemmy1:
I suggest you sit her down and have heart to heart talk with her, then the conclusion of the talk will determine if you will go for dna test, but think it very well oooo
Cos if after it and the baby is yours wallai if your wife get to find out I am sure she won't forgive you for ever and ever

GboyegaD:
Tell your wife of your suspicion and the need to take her for a DNA. You can then decide on what your best choice is upon getting the result.

GboyegaD:


The idea of a secret DNA testing.

tonicyril:
do u have sense at all.. so if u re the wife u can be happy and take it lightly if ur husband question ur faithfulness and paternity of a child u have for him.

And i think u re an elder ooh. Shior

There are smart phrases used when politely disagreeing with someone in a public forum or offline...Eg
<<I beg to disagree with you..
<<I’m sorry but I disagree with you about this...
<<I understand where you’re coming from, but...
<<That’s a valid point, but..

It depict a well raised gentleman and lady with class..

Richy4:

There are smart phrases used when politely disagreeing with someone in a public forum or offline...Eg
<<I beg to disagree with you..
<<I’m sorry but I disagree with you about this...
<<I understand where you’re coming from, but...
<<That’s a valid point, but..

It depict a well raised gentleman and lady with class..

bukatyne:


If I were the guy, I might do open testing sef.

Secret testing in this case is serious aponle.

And if she finds out, is to thank the guy for his sensitivity and thoughtfulness under her breath.

tonicyril:
so if u re the wife u can be happy and take it lightly if ur husband question ur faithfulness and paternity of a child u have for him.

GboyegaD:


Why should she be sad? Did she not sleep with another guy while they were separated?

Johnnyjohnnyman:
Good morning all. My wife and I separated in 2020 for seven months we have reconciled in september 2020 and she took in the same month but I still have doubts because while she we were separated she had cheated on me with her colleague at work. Which I had Proofs. The reason why I have accepted her back was because the fault was mine I didn't cheat on her. I lost my job and my boss gifted me 300k I didn't know tell her anything and I confided to my sister in Benin Republic I sent her 200k to buy goods for me and she duped me. When she found out she started abusing me to the extend I had to leave the house and moved away to stay with my mother. I still doubts about the paternity of our fourth child because she doesn't look anything like me nor her mother. I strongly believed she was already pregnant that is why she came back begging me to return back home. The more the baby is growing up the more she is looking like her colleague. Ever since we had reconciled everything is perfectly fine our relationship is stronger than before but I can't stop thinking about the baby not being my own. I want to take her for a secret dna test but if the result came out I am not the father my family will be ripped off and I don't want divorce but i can't also live not knowing if I am truly her father or not. What would you advise me to do should I go ahead with the secret dna or not I just want to know the truth bur I am scared of the outcome

tonicyril:
Yes she did but there are better ways to go about it.

No long tin, even if he manage to sit her down and ask her questions she will still lie and claim OP is the biological father.
The best tin to do is to secretly do dna, if na ur child u go tear the dna result right in front of the doctor and trash it there, and if its not ur child den u know what to do