₦airaland Forum

Ajibade123:
what if he doesn't attracts you after marriage what will you do??
do you know a lot of good looking fit men becomes obese after marriage
what will you do in that case
divorce him or stop having sex with him?

Yes, I totally agree with some of your point. Even those that are attracted to each other before marriage might struggle with attraction after marriage. At that point, there's no option left than to stick with the marriage. You have to endure and make it work out by fire by force. But this case is different, this lady still has an option to either stay or opt out, if she knows she can't cope with the outcome of her decision.
As for me, I'm true to myself. I want to be sure I'm signing a once in a lifetime deal with someone I'm excited to be with and attracted to, and vice versa. Whatever comes after marriage, we find a way to work things out

yemmit90:
You are very right, the man is so stupid with low self worth mentality. Imaging someone with good paying job begging a woman to consider him. Las Las, he will end up training another man's children, so pathetic.

He clearly got job through connection;, he isn't smart enough for such a high paying job.

Attraction is important my dear.
It will be difficult to be intimate with someone you are not attracted to, and that could be the beginning of the ending of the marriage.

I remember when I was in a relationship like that, we could be walking to somewhere and I'll be at the front why she might be behind lolz, its crazy you know and that's what even break the relationship.

But most importantly, Have you prayed concerning him, whether he's truly the one for you?

Don't just look at his pocket or his work, all those ones can pack up at anytime. But if you have confirmation from God that he's the one, then go ahead with him, all you need to do is to pray to God to make him look very attractive to you, I'm sure you'll be surprise at what God will do, you might not even want him to leave your side again lolz!
I wish you all the best!

Real woman jams real man in a real world……what a reality!




@OP from all you wrote up there you are not ready for marriage, don’t rush yourself. What you should be looking for now is an identity, find your truth and it’ll bless you in every way.

Attraction is important as many have opined but the big question is what are you attracted to. Do they matter? Why do they matter?? Will they matter in another 10-20years

Remember, reality fades!

CaptMarvel:
Attraction is important my dear.
It will be difficult to be intimate with someone you are not attracted to, and that could be the beginning of the ending of the marriage.

I remember when I was in a relationship like that, we could be walking to somewhere and I'll be at the front why she might be behind lolz, its crazy you know and that's what even break the relationship.

But most importantly, Have you prayed concerning him, whether he's truly the one for you?

Don't just look at his pocket or his work, all those ones can pack up at anytime. But if you have confirmation from God that he's the one, then go ahead with him, all you need to do is to pray to God to make him look very attractive to you, I'm sure you'll be surprise at what God will do, you might not even want him to leave your side again lolz!
I wish you all the best!

God the master plastic surgeon, did it for Naaman in the days of the prophets. Sure can do it for OP’s guy.

mariahAngel:
If you don't find him attractive, then what is keeping you from telling him? I hope it's not his money sha.
This one you're acting like you don't know what to do.

Maybe the money. 20million!
She should stop wasting the guy's time and break the relationship.
It is possible to cheat in this kind of relationship - her eyes will always be outside looking for that attractive guy.

optm:
@op watch this clip by pastor kingsley okonkwo, it would help you decide better
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-sjfBnjAF2I

Thank you

Juliusdaughter:
Thank you

uwlcm

I won't persuade any woman to marry me...

CaptMarvel:
Attraction is important my dear.
It will be difficult to be intimate with someone you are not attracted to, and that could be the beginning of the ending of the marriage.

I remember when I was in a relationship like that, we could be walking to somewhere and I'll be at the front why she might be behind lolz, its crazy you know and that's what even break the relationship.

But most importantly, Have you prayed concerning him, whether he's truly the one for you?

Don't just look at his pocket or his work, all those ones can pack up at anytime. But if you have confirmation from God that he's the one, then go ahead with him, all you need to do is to pray to God to make him look very attractive to you, I'm sure you'll be surprise at what God will do, you might not even want him to leave your side again lolz!
I wish you all the best!

you nailed it on the attraction part, it is the attraction that makes want to make love your partner and if its not there from the begining, then you are in trouble becoz marriage or just leaving together has expectations and regular sex is one of them and if you dont feel attracted to your partner it would be a big issue

if your partner is not attractive to you, you have higher chances to cheat with someone you find attractive
People dont know that, sex is painful especially for women if she is not attracted to you it means she would be dry down there, eventually she will hate sex and eventually not like to be touched by the same person who was marriage material who is now hubby

you nailed it on the attraction part, it is the attraction that makes want to make love your partner and if its not there from the begining, then you are in trouble becoz marriage or just leaving together has expectations and regular sex is one of them and if you dont feel attracted to your partner it would be a big issue

if your partner is attractive to you, you have higher chances to cheat with someone you find attractive

People dont share relevent information to young one or those wishing to marry. sex becames painful to woman if she is not attracted to the person, she would be dry down there the more she has dry sex the more she will hurt and hate sex

Sex start in the mind (being triggered by attraction) the body gets ready through different parts and precum is produced down there for easy penetraction

if you take out the attraction that woman will suffer and usually the other partner has no idea him he wiill just wanting his regular sex

And the woman will start finding excuses becoz sex is painful

ZIMDRILL:
you nailed it on the attraction part, it is the attraction that makes want to make love your partner and if its not there from the begining, then you are in trouble becoz marriage or just leaving together has expectations and regular sex is one of them and if you dont feel attracted to your partner it would be a big issue

if your partner is not attractive to you, you have higher chances to cheat with someone you find attractive
People dont know that, sex is painful especially for women if she is not attracted to you it means she would be dry down there, eventually she will hate sex and eventually not like to be touched by the same person who was marriage material who is now hubby

you nailed it on the attraction part, it is the attraction that makes want to make love your partner and if its not there from the begining, then you are in trouble becoz marriage or just leaving together has expectations and regular sex is one of them and if you dont feel attracted to your partner it would be a big issue

if your partner is attractive to you, you have higher chances to cheat with someone you find attractive

People dont share relevent information to young one or those wishing to marry. sex becames painful to woman if she is not attracted to the person, she would be dry down there the more she has dry sex the more she will hurt and hate sex

Sex start in the mind (being triggered by attraction) the body gets ready through different parts and precum is produced down there for easy penetraction

if you take out the attraction that woman will suffer and usually the other partner has no idea him he wiill just wanting his regular sex

And the woman will start finding excuses becoz sex is painful

Thank you. I am not big on sex too, if I want it then it has to be with someone I am attracted to. Our sex life will suffer if I go ahead

You are considering going into marriage ( the most sacred arrangement on earth) with a man you don't have romantic feelings for, let alone love. Then you came here to ask us if it is alright! That's how men end up training other men's children without knowing , or dying young because their wives will not give them peace at home.

Send me the foolish man's phone number let me knock some sense into him. It is a fools fool who pursues a woman for marriage or a relationship. A sensible man will not pursue a woman he wants to marry. If she is interested, she will show it after a couple of dates and he won't have to pursue her. Rather, it will be two people running towards each other because they want each other. Marriage is hard enough when two people are in love. Let alone when one party does not find the other attractive. He must know that you don't have romantic feelings towards him' let alone love him. Yet he is forging ahead pursuing you for marriage.

Leave that guy alone and wait for your own man. if you go into a marriage with a man you don't love, you yourself will suffer a lot in that marriage and after it breaks up and you become a single parent. Love is different from tolerating someone, or marrying him because he has what it takes to care for a wife.

Juliusdaughter:
I met a man through my long term friend and he has made his intentions about marriage known from the start. He loves me, is attracted to me and loves to do PDA when we are out together.

He has everything a woman would want in her husband, but I am not attracted to him neither do I have feelings for him. I love him as a friend tho because his physical attributes will not matter in that instance. I am slightly taller than him, even tho I'm not a tall person, I am dark skinned and he is darker than me. He has a really small stature and you wouldn't know he has money or works in good company.

He has told me his plans for us and it's a really good one, he works in top management role and he earns over 20 million naira per annum.

I have told him what I feel and he is really persistent, he says I should try and reciprocate his feelings and love towards me and the feelings will grow, that I shouldn't worry about the height of our kids
I can't lie, I don't feel proud this few times he's done PDA with me, I see the way that makes him happy, making me feel like a trophy wife.

There was this other guy I had feelings and attraction for, and it disappeared the first time I saw him and realized he isn't who he said he is. This confirms to me that feelings is flimsy and depends on circumstances.

To married people here, both long or short years in marriage; is attraction and feelings one of the major things holding down your marriage? Did you marry who you weren't really attracted to but you're happy now in the marriage? How will I deal with public perception of us especially when it's comes to flaunting him as my husband?
I have entered my late 20s and I don't wanna waste time, I don't wanna waste my time in vain waiting for the guy I'll feel all these for, what if he isn't worth it?

I won't claim I know much but I would say if you really enjoy his friendship & u see that u have the same ideals, principles about life ie u can work with him and he also respects u, I think u should do d do. The friendship u enjoy will be your attraction.
Truth is, what blocks ur attraction is just the height & stature.. in marriage attraction based on body qualities usually wane fast esp if u can't work together or respect each other.
PS: But ain't u married already & living abroad?

Juliusdaughter:
I met a man through my long term friend and he has made his intentions about marriage known from the start. He loves me, is attracted to me and loves to do PDA when we are out together.

Did you marry who you weren't really attracted to but you're happy now in the marriage? How will I deal with public perception of us especially when it's comes to flaunting him as my husband?
I have entered my late 20s and I don't wanna waste time, I don't wanna waste my time in vain waiting for the guy I'll feel all these for, what if he isn't worth it?

Juliusdaughter:
Thank you. I am not big on sex too, if I want it then it has to be with someone I am attracted to. Our sex life will suffer if I go ahead

You are only thinking about your self you might not be big on sex but your partner might be meaning sex will trigger many issues eg he expects from you as right in marriage and you are not kin much. That might lead him to find it outside

Juliusdaughter:
I met a man through my long term friend and he has made his intentions about marriage known from the start. He loves me, is attracted to me and loves to do PDA when we are out together.

He has everything a woman would want in her husband, but I am not attracted to him neither do I have feelings for him. I love him as a friend tho because his physical attributes will not matter in that instance. I am slightly taller than him, even tho I'm not a tall person, I am dark skinned and he is darker than me. He has a really small stature and you wouldn't know he has money or works in good company.

He has told me his plans for us and it's a really good one, he works in top management role and he earns over 20 million naira per annum.

I have told him what I feel and he is really persistent, he says I should try and reciprocate his feelings and love towards me and the feelings will grow, that I shouldn't worry about the height of our kids
I can't lie, I don't feel proud this few times he's done PDA with me, I see the way that makes him happy, making me feel like a trophy wife.

There was this other guy I had feelings and attraction for, and it disappeared the first time I saw him and realized he isn't who he said he is. This confirms to me that feelings is flimsy and depends on circumstances.

To married people here, both long or short years in marriage; is attraction and feelings one of the major things holding down your marriage? Did you marry who you weren't really attracted to but you're happy now in the marriage? How will I deal with public perception of us especially when it's comes to flaunting him as my husband?
I have entered my late 20s and I don't wanna waste time, I don't wanna waste my time in vain waiting for the guy I'll feel all these for, what if he isn't worth it?

A guy that has all the attributes and strong financial status that you have mentioned came your way
And you don't know that you are supposed to welcome him with open arms

Yet you don't want to waste time deciding

Anyway if you continue to delay, the fastest finger will collect him from you

Then you will have enough time to waste time

Love grows and love deminishes

Program love the way you want not the way it is

Juliusdaughter:
I met a man through my long term friend and he has made his intentions about marriage known from the start. He loves me, is attracted to me and loves to do PDA when we are out together.

He has everything a woman would want in her husband, but I am not attracted to him neither do I have feelings for him. I love him as a friend tho because his physical attributes will not matter in that instance. I am slightly taller than him, even tho I'm not a tall person, I am dark skinned and he is darker than me. He has a really small stature and you wouldn't know he has money or works in good company.

He has told me his plans for us and it's a really good one, he works in top management role and he earns over 20 million naira per annum.

I have told him what I feel and he is really persistent, he says I should try and reciprocate his feelings and love towards me and the feelings will grow, that I shouldn't worry about the height of our kids
I can't lie, I don't feel proud this few times he's done PDA with me, I see the way that makes him happy, making me feel like a trophy wife.

There was this other guy I had feelings and attraction for, and it disappeared the first time I saw him and realized he isn't who he said he is. This confirms to me that feelings is flimsy and depends on circumstances.

To married people here, both long or short years in marriage; is attraction and feelings one of the major things holding down your marriage? Did you marry who you weren't really attracted to but you're happy now in the marriage? How will I deal with public perception of us especially when it's comes to flaunting him as my husband?
I have entered my late 20s and I don't wanna waste time, I don't wanna waste my time in vain waiting for the guy I'll feel all these for, what if he isn't worth it?

I appreciate you told man how you really feel and he should use his brain (if he has a working one) and leave you alone. You will definitely see a husband when you are ready to marry. Do not force it.

frozen70:
A guy that has all the attributes and strong financial status that you have mentioned came your way
And you don't know that you are supposed to welcome him with open arms

Yet you don't want to waste time deciding

Anyway if you continue to delay, the fastest finger will collect him from you

Then you will have enough time to waste time

Love grows and love deminishes

Program love the way you want not the way it is

when she comes here to complain how she is frustrated in the union, shebi na you go solve the problem

legionISproteus:
when she comes here to complain how she is frustrated in the union, shebi na you go solve the problem

Most people are already frustrated both married and unmarried

If you take time to read her post very well, you will understand that she is a bit choosy and satisfying such taste is difficult

She wants a man with complete package in him

She too, does she have complete package in her