My Parents Destroyed My Life In Guise Of Love, I'm Now Depressed Daily - Family (6) - Nairaland
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The Cousin My Mum Brought To My House Has Destroyed My Son / My Childhood Was So Bad ...am Now Depressed / I Destroyed My Sister Relationship With Her Fiancé And She Lost Her Job (2) (3) (4)
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| Re: My Parents Destroyed My Life In Guise Of Love, I'm Now Depressed Daily by nakaman: 10:35pm On Sep 13, 2022 |
bringing it to nairaland sure relieved you, pick 1 advice and apply it |
| Re: My Parents Destroyed My Life In Guise Of Love, I'm Now Depressed Daily by abjonline(m): 10:35pm On Sep 13, 2022 |
We all couldn't choose our background but we can us decide our future. A better life in the future is for your to decide. Identify the grey areas of your life, correct them and stay living right. Your future will be glorious. Most importantly, give Jesus a chance to transform your life. God bless you |
| Re: My Parents Destroyed My Life In Guise Of Love, I'm Now Depressed Daily by akandepaul(m): 10:36pm On Sep 13, 2022 |
[quote author=Ablemed post=116634645]I'll like to make my story short as possible without much introduction tho. And also a lesson parents/ new couples should learn from my ordeal, Pls read to the end. Alright So I'm the only male born of my parent among 4 girls, i also happen to be the last born at it. my problem started when growing up, cause my parent aged bfr getting a Male child which was my Dad and his parent cravings, I was pampered when growing up such that my parents would never watch me do stressful things, dictate when I go out and who I moved out with (My mum's own was even worse cause when growing up, if I want to go out, she'll always send me back inside) even during secondary school they had to get a school very close to our house. my sisters were only the ones that would go to mum's shop and make sales while mum would either stay with me at home or if I eventually go the shop sef I'll always sit and just watch. Literally, I'll say I was denied the right to be exposed to lotta things and real issues about life. And cause I was not the sociable type cause I'll literally stay at home, watch movies, eat and my movements limited, I was exposed to pornography and masturbation at a very young age and I battled that bad habit thr my University days (Did I say my Parents also dictated the University I went to cause it was close to our House to and any small riot in school then the next hour they'll come and pick me back home till every thing dies down) So guys over time, I've grown to be this boring guy who is shy, timid, suffering from low self esteem and can't give vibe even when gisting with my fellow guys, in which most of them just relegate me to this small boy level. Did I also say I've never had a Girlfriend all my life cause the truth is ion always know what to say or how to maintain talking vibe. At first I decide not to care and just always console myself with I was created like that and just continue my boring life, it has now gotten to the point I'm not rated in anything at all, most people just make friends with me cause of what they can gain from me, I'm not even good in anything, I can't speak clearly, I'm kinda literally mentally dumb and ion see me useful for anyone or anything, perhaps maybe God only, No business sense, no work skill or experience, no trade experiences to I'm currently a Corp member serving and before then I rebelled against my parent cause they wanted to dictate the state I serve which is our state of residence so I go to my ppa from home but I told them No and even got to a fight to my Dad cause of this issue and we din speak for like 2weeks, he eventually called me and we settled. But the issue now is guys I've got less than two months left for my POP for service and you don't expect me to return home useless to my parent house again?? Tho sincerely thr my service year, I din touch my allowee so I've saved up to 270k so far. the issue is ask me what I want to do with the money? I've got no idea, what business sense or idea? Nothing is coming to my head, infact I don't know. The funny thing is, my roommate is exactly my opposite, very outspoken, bold, full of vibe and bring back different female friends each day, this guy is not really financially buoyant but you see girls cook and travel all the way to give him for us to eat. I just wish I was like him, i wish i had the vibe  I'm 24years now and at this age, no idea bout my future, bout life, I can't even relate with people, I'm just so sad, depressed and frustrated. At the moment the only job coming to my head is the military cause I served in a military barrack cause I choose it myself but most of the junior officers are trashing my interest by telling me not to waste my time say I no go survive am with my nature, that military needs tough people and endurance bla bla and on the other hand, my mum is saying Never she'll never allow me join the military not over her dead body and she's bout recruiting my Dad to and Sincerely I'm frustrated and my depression have taken another turn that over the past weeks I've been thinking suicide and it's getting really high, I say I should type this here bfr the worse happen cause if I can't be useful for myself what really is the point living?? Please this advice is to parent and intending parent/couples, pls and pls expose ur children to life, don't over pamper your kids, work on them to make them sociable and outspoken, I swear you'll be doing them a great favour. For me I thought my parent loved me, I thought they were trying to protect me but they've put me in a deep mess I have to face alone and just I pray I get the opportunity to make things right with me There is solution to your problem. Do message me on whatapp 090-661-91-669. Very effective way to regain back your youthful vigor. |
| Re: My Parents Destroyed My Life In Guise Of Love, I'm Now Depressed Daily by akandepaul(m): 10:37pm On Sep 13, 2022 |
There is solution to your problem. Do message me on whatapp 090-661-91-669. Very effective way to regain back your youthful vigor. |
| Re: My Parents Destroyed My Life In Guise Of Love, I'm Now Depressed Daily by Saig: 10:38pm On Sep 13, 2022 |
Bro it is good you kno that you have a problem. Knowing the problem is already the beginning of solution. For typin this it means you are still coherent and aware. Dont be angry and too harsh at your parents. I believe to them it was love, care and protection. Seek for a counselor. Pour out to him. Or her you will fine help and God will see you through but NEVER think suicide |
| Re: My Parents Destroyed My Life In Guise Of Love, I'm Now Depressed Daily by torqque7(m): 10:39pm On Sep 13, 2022 |
Ablemed: My brother your story is the exact story as mine, I also contemplated suicide many times, everyone looked at me as Mummy’s boy but then I realized suicide is just a cowards way out and I am NO COWARD so guess what I did..I worked on my self, I learnt from my sisters about women and I studied their lives with guys and what got them excited about some guys. Secondly I made a lot of friends online mostly females and it was not easy I must say, you have to be strong mentally o because there will be a lot of rejection from the females but I learnt from mistakes and gradually I started picking up and going out on dates,joining Facebook dating community a lot of them,I also did research on the redpill too and applied them in my life. As for job and finances just think of something you enjoy doing and you are good at and use it to make money,but il advice you stay away from bad friends and rugged in the bid of trying to socialize with them o,they will fuccckk your life up trust me I am speaking from experience. Eventually things started working for me,I have had a lot of girlfriends and I even disvirigned some of them because I just felt been timid only got me to be suicidal so what’s the worse that can happen if I experiment and go out of my comfort zone and be bold speaking to people,my confidence grew and I realized I was way better than some people,I stopped hating my parents because I realized they just wanted to protect me because I meant the world to them so I forgave them especially my dear Mum. So brother there is hope for you o,you can dm me if you want so we can talk better. Baba you have a whole lot ahead of you,very bright future with beautiful women and people around you so trash that suicidal thinking in your mind o,devil is trying to destroy you because he knows what your future holds. I am not a motivational speaker o lol but I am just telling you that I understand you and I can relate because I lived the exact same life,cheer up man things will surly be better if you decide to do something to make it better. Las las You go dey alright. 1 Like |
| Re: My Parents Destroyed My Life In Guise Of Love, I'm Now Depressed Daily by jomoh: 10:48pm On Sep 13, 2022 |
Ablemed: You do not need therapy. You still have time to learn. Take it from me. Reading your story is like I wrote my story. I'm the only son also and everything you wrote is exactly what I went through. The only difference is that you're self aware than I was. This is what I'd advice and take it as someone who knows and has experienced(still experiencing) how it feels. Do no go back to that house no matter what. Take your money and get a single room. It's better for you to be going to collect food from them monthly than living with them. The life you couldn't live in school, it is time to live it. Ensure your house is accessible and close to where you have most of your friends. It is time to live that life you couldnt live. Ensure you live it to the fullest. Make deliberate effort to make conversation with people. Make tons of platonic friends both female and Male and never turn down an outing. Always join them even if you cant relate. You will learn alot. If you can get money from your parents monthly, make sure you entertain your friends by paying for their drinks at gathering once in a while. |
| Re: My Parents Destroyed My Life In Guise Of Love, I'm Now Depressed Daily by Amtrak: 10:51pm On Sep 13, 2022 |
My advice is that you should not even venture into the Nigerian military: not because you wont make it, but because I know better the regret that could follow. At your stage (NYSC)11 years ago, I had this friend and faculty mate; we both graduated at the same time and got posted to the same state for service. He won Mr. Macho in Asaya Camp back then: handsome and well-built (you should have an idea of the kind of people that win Mr. Macho). He had his Bachelors Degree, but opted to join the Nigerian Army. However, it's quite unfortunate the news I saw on my class Whatsapp that he got killed-in-action while fighting insurgents last week Tuesday (today makes it a week). I can't still believe it: I just wish it's not true; but it's been a week now, and the news still says the same thing. So on the idea of joining the military, please listen to your parents. My guy just left his little boy and wife to fight it out alone in this increasingly wicked country. On the work/job/career area, it's not abnormal for the average Nigerian graduate to be skill-less upon graduation. However, this must not remain so. You need to look for something that interests you and has the potential to give you earnings, and then give it your best in both learning and working. This one is no longer in the hand of your parents. Also, since lack of independence seems to be having a negative effect on you, I strongly recommend that you use half of that 270k to secure your own private accommodation within the same state as your parents immediately after service. But ensure to get their blessings before you leave the house. 1 Like |
| Re: My Parents Destroyed My Life In Guise Of Love, I'm Now Depressed Daily by V9er: 10:53pm On Sep 13, 2022 |
The irony of life. I have a roommate with a senior sister and while this may not apply to everybody, you need someone to be the rebel. I thank God for my senior brother, my mum was what you call a tiger parent but my brother fought tooth and nail for us to be free. By 14 my mother could not beat me anymore, this is not something to be proud of but that's life. A 20 year old friend said his mum still slaps him outside, such a shame and that's how she will control his siblings too I mean if you see your mum slapping your bug brother what will you do The deed has already been done. My advice to you, get involved with Spy genre-series and novels. I want you to study how spies inject themselves into people's lives, fall in love with the art of deception. I would recommend The Spy and The Americans amongst others. Soon you will find yourself being a football fan just to talk with someone or knowing all about cars just to befriend someone. Sorry for the long write up |
| Re: My Parents Destroyed My Life In Guise Of Love, I'm Now Depressed Daily by Auspiman(m): 11:03pm On Sep 13, 2022 |
My bro, it is unfortunate it happened to you. But never lose faith because you are still a young man. The good thing is that you have discovered your problems that resulted from being over pampered. Also, you have the courage to share it here. It means you are a courageous person. Never think you are useless, it is a voice from the pit of hell. Never insult your parents for their actions on your upbringing. Remember, you are not the only one in such a situation. Rather, look at your parents with a sympathetic eyes for their lack of adequate knowledge on parenting, and forgive them. Yes, your maturity starts from this point. Unlearn unhealthy habits. Pick healthy ones in replacement. Talk to your self positively on a mirror morning and evening for a week or more. Pray God to help you out. Because you have a lot to offer humanity. Trust me, the future is bright for you. Read self development books, engage in outdoors exercises with others or register with club or gym. Browse list of profitability businesses ( both online and offline) and see which one suit you. We need you here, my brother. |
| Re: My Parents Destroyed My Life In Guise Of Love, I'm Now Depressed Daily by Jsucre(m): 11:05pm On Sep 13, 2022 |
I'm in your shoe, but the case is different. Bro you're still young. Make friends, attend events,try to meet people. You will soon shake it off. Try some professional courses |
| Re: My Parents Destroyed My Life In Guise Of Love, I'm Now Depressed Daily by chukwumzurum(m): 11:08pm On Sep 13, 2022 |
I understand your pains. I would say, I'm you, just a year ahead of you.. luckily for me I passed Feb and got a job barely 2months after. Still living with my parents. It's really not your parents fault to love you that much, after all they're your parents. At this point you'll seem very confused and depressed, brace up the future is bright, learn any skill and work on ur independence. (P.s deep down you still want to be at home under their care)  2 Likes |
| Re: My Parents Destroyed My Life In Guise Of Love, I'm Now Depressed Daily by Jackanda1(m): 11:10pm On Sep 13, 2022 |
Blue86:I'm happy when i read comments like this. I was like the op, full of low self esteem, self hate and depression until i discovered Jesus and held tight to him for a change. Encouragement and advice aren't helpful in the long run, they only make you feel good for a moment. 1 Like |
| Re: My Parents Destroyed My Life In Guise Of Love, I'm Now Depressed Daily by Vladm(m): 11:10pm On Sep 13, 2022 |
I went through the exact thing and more coz na like 3 years after service i got the best plan.. becoming financially independent saved me.. use that money to buy laptop and start an online tech course that suits you or find a physical IT school to attend.. eg PRODUCT DESIGN WEB DEVELOPMENT 3D DESIGN E.TC |
| Re: My Parents Destroyed My Life In Guise Of Love, I'm Now Depressed Daily by dododawa1: 11:19pm On Sep 13, 2022 |
STORY |
| Re: My Parents Destroyed My Life In Guise Of Love, I'm Now Depressed Daily by being(m): 11:21pm On Sep 13, 2022 |
Well the good thing is you have come to d realization that you are dumb, slow & useless..lol. it means u can begin to look for solution. So I don't see why d case is depressing, simply try and work on d identified points of weakness. B more confident- this will involve being able to start and sustain conversations, being strt Wise, these things u can just watch others closely. You are responsible for yourself now, not your parents. And it's not a business idea u need now. Its a Digital skill like programming, data analytics or UIUX, animation. If you can get a responsible friend's place to stay after nysc, stay there. Ablemed: |
| Re: My Parents Destroyed My Life In Guise Of Love, I'm Now Depressed Daily by olabrinks(f): 11:22pm On Sep 13, 2022 |
How can you blame your parents for how you naturally are? You are naturally quiet and you seem to have an issue with it, that’s why you are miserable. Be at peace with it, be confident with saying a few words and listening more, nobody will be able to knock you down. People can sense when you’re anxious and insecure, that’s why you’re not able to form relationships with people. How can you expect people to love you when you don’t love yourself. I mean who calls themselves “mentally dumb”? Even those wey no get sense will still act like they know everything and people will always flock to them. Value yourself please! Try! Fake it if you have to, it will eventually become your reality, 2 Likes |
| Re: My Parents Destroyed My Life In Guise Of Love, I'm Now Depressed Daily by gtrust: 11:24pm On Sep 13, 2022 |
Ablemed: |
| Re: My Parents Destroyed My Life In Guise Of Love, I'm Now Depressed Daily by LoveGifted(m): 11:30pm On Sep 13, 2022 |
. |
| Re: My Parents Destroyed My Life In Guise Of Love, I'm Now Depressed Daily by inception101(m): 11:31pm On Sep 13, 2022 |
Ablemed: Good thing is you are aware of the predicament and u need a stop to it. That’s already a sign of progress!! Apply for jobs pr go for masters |
| Re: My Parents Destroyed My Life In Guise Of Love, I'm Now Depressed Daily by Tannhauser(m): 11:35pm On Sep 13, 2022 |
 You, OP are an idiot. Ask me why. |
| Re: My Parents Destroyed My Life In Guise Of Love, I'm Now Depressed Daily by obinna58(m): 11:35pm On Sep 13, 2022 |
Create a career path, Problem solved. No think of military again. Patience is a virtue |
| Re: My Parents Destroyed My Life In Guise Of Love, I'm Now Depressed Daily by Damireal: 11:37pm On Sep 13, 2022 |
The best way to come out of this shit is be ready to learn new things in every aspect of life, make sure you don't stay alone, go to where people are and listen to what they say and never be scared of doing those things you can't do before, be conscious when doing them. |
| Re: My Parents Destroyed My Life In Guise Of Love, I'm Now Depressed Daily by wetdspace(m): 11:40pm On Sep 13, 2022 |
Bro you’re not too old to find your path. There are nerds and they do well in life. Stop thinking about the social life, it’s not for everyone, and since you’ve been turned to a nerd, learn a skill, probably a computer skill and once you do well in it, ideas will come, girls will come and you’ll be happy. If you can go to a gym, please do so as well. Ablemed: |
| Re: My Parents Destroyed My Life In Guise Of Love, I'm Now Depressed Daily by Buskolo(m): 11:46pm On Sep 13, 2022 |
Bro it is well, my advise to you is to think positive thoughts, read books that build people and generally keep company of people who will help you grow spiritually, mentally and financially. I am available if you need a list of books to help boost your morale Ablemed: |
| Re: My Parents Destroyed My Life In Guise Of Love, I'm Now Depressed Daily by Dwana96(m): 11:48pm On Sep 13, 2022 |
Tayorshd2:You're a bastard |
| Re: My Parents Destroyed My Life In Guise Of Love, I'm Now Depressed Daily by success9(m): 11:50pm On Sep 13, 2022 |
Ablemed: Bros na lie. 1. First, you are an introvert. That's not your parents making. 2. Your parents meant well for you, if you've said anything wrong apologize. 3. When you get home after service, go and look for a job...or learn a skill. As for a job, even if it's teaching, take it. 4. No supervisor or manager will sack you, they will rather guide you. 5. Have it at the back of your mind that from now, anything happening in your life is your fault. Peace 2 Likes |
| Re: My Parents Destroyed My Life In Guise Of Love, I'm Now Depressed Daily by kushme: 12:03am On Sep 14, 2022 |
@Ablemed, sincerely, if you search your soul by telling yourself the truth, you would discover the depression you feel grew out of the lack of kitten. You not getting laid but your roommate is smashing all good ! oops, sorry about that. Your options in Porn and masturbation messed your mind. I believe during most of your porn&masturb' routine you really fvcked plenty hot females but not in the physical. Feeling good after several Cummings only to get depressed seeing your roomie putting it live inside the girls ! hehehehe. Fvck you and your depression. The simple solution for you is to go out and get laid(sex), then come and thank me. Again, fvck the pvssy and don't be a sucker for love or a SIMP. Call your mama and papa, apologize to them for being an ungrateful son who is depressed cos of pvssy. If only some of us would have the privilege to return and reshape our lives not just for good but better from the comfort of our parents abode before moving out again! That'll be great. hmm, you like the way those junior officers talk about how dem sama different barnies abi? So, you now need military confidence to talk and chase/sex women abi? Or why you wan join military? Remember, even some broke niggaz like me and your roomie still get laid. But stupid thirsty fvcks like you who saved over 250k couldn't even rent a pvssy, if you're scared of rejection without trying then what's next, you get depressed about it? We all get rejected, so what's the big deal? funny enough you could easily ask your alpha roomie with the game to hook you up with one of the female corpers. ADVICE: FIND AND FVCK YOURSELF A LIVE-HOLE TODAY AND GET THE FVCK OUTTA DEPRESSION. |
| Re: My Parents Destroyed My Life In Guise Of Love, I'm Now Depressed Daily by Pat062: 12:07am On Sep 14, 2022 |
All data you spent on pornography, had it been you used it to learn a skill online, you would have gone far but it's still not late, you can always learn a skill online and carry on with ya life. |
| Re: My Parents Destroyed My Life In Guise Of Love, I'm Now Depressed Daily by LoveGifted(m): 12:08am On Sep 14, 2022 |
Ablemed: I understand you very much. Right now, I can see you don't want to go back home. You have saved 270K, but using that whole money now to get a room and live on your own would not be the best option at the moment because you do not have a job that can bring in more money for you. Also advising you to go back to your parents house and start from there is going to affect your mental health and I am not going to do that. So here is my advice. Get a roommate whom you would share an apartment with. The two of you would put money together and get a place for this first year. You can start with a Room and Parlour for now. Make sure you share the rent equally. Then use the first few months of this first year and start looking for a job. That way, you can be earning money to feed yourself and then you build from there. While you are there, you can also be learning CODING during weekends on your own. I'm not a tech person but I was on Twitter this evening doing a research and I just stumbled upon a site someone shared where you can learn CODING on your own and it seems good. Send me a DM, let me send it to you. I hear TECH is the new oil now  |
| Re: My Parents Destroyed My Life In Guise Of Love, I'm Now Depressed Daily by Yorubaipobhausa(m): 12:09am On Sep 14, 2022 |
Bro you need weed Forget shit people say about weed. If weed is bad god wouldn’t have create it Smoke weed and thank me later Weed is the only solution to your problem Remember smoke wisely Peace 1 Like 1 Share |
| Re: My Parents Destroyed My Life In Guise Of Love, I'm Now Depressed Daily by ArcChu: 12:10am On Sep 14, 2022 |
There is nothing wrong with you guy. At age of 30 I couldn't talk to woman after my Masters Degree. Had all the experience and life you listed. I wasn't pampered or protected. You are being intimated by some wrong friends by your side. I started working on myself positively at age of 30. Am doing perfectly well now. All timidity gone but still not wild type. Am soo much grateful that I do not Street life even when I grew up in street. You just need good counsel. Please don't blame yourself parents. I wish I had parents like them. Nothing is wrong with you, Nigeria is somehow now. You just need guild. |
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