What has north done to u.
Am an oppressed northerner without a voice

Ulunne777:
They meant well even though they did it the wrong way.Forgive them and focus on the solution to it.
Military is a no no for me though unless you are a northerner.We can't be sacrificing our able southern man in the name of Nigerian Army coupled with the fact that you are an only son which takes us back to square one of what they were avoiding.

Find one skill that interests you and start learning.

Ablemed:
I'll like to make my story short as possible
Please this advice is to parent and intending parent/couples, pls and pls expose ur children to life, don't over pamper your kids, work on them to make them sociable and outspoken, I swear you'll be doing them a great favour. For me I thought my parent loved me, I thought they were trying to protect me but they've put me in a deep mess I have to face alone and just I pray I get the opportunity to make things right with me

very funny lol, your mindset is messing you up and not parents,, secondly masturbation causes low self esteem, thirdly find a brand that works for you (beer,Gin,smoke) and make it your close friend

Tayorshd2:
I guess peter obi sides must have trained your parents in the past and that's why they brought u up wrongly ...


I have a pistol at home i can lend you to kill them almost immediately

ewu

Ablemed:
Can therapy work for me?? isn't it to late at 24years of age?? I just finished calling mum now and accused her of everything that has happened to me, I told her I don't want to hear from her, not anytime soon. I've tried calling my Dad to but his line is switch off, I just wanna cut both of them off, They put me in this mess that I have to fight alone now

Ake baje!!

While I blame your parents for some stuff. I can assure you that none of us have perfect parents .. they are humans who do Thier best.

Your life is up to you. Get a job or preferably do nwayi boy... And subject yourself to a boss or master.

Man up

[b][/b] No matter the situation you found yourself,you need to alway understand you are'nt the only one in such mess but find those people in lookalike circumstances and learn how they are had or managing their life..
I share the same situation with you,i mean 80% of what you put up there but i found a way to appease myself..

Ablemed:


Making friends is not issue, the thing is even you as a person, a boring friend will bore you out that's just how my relationship with my friends are atm, I've got no vibe to maintain a discussion. in short I'll literally bore you out and that's just my case. About work, I bet you any manager will sack me after 2weeks or a month highest, there are some ethics that i'm seriously lacking

Bro I swear you won't and can't understand me

Guy, when you don't know how to do something, the only thing you can do to change it is to learn. Our backgrounds are similar. Start reading self-help books. Widen your knowledge about life and the world. Read about building confidence. We all have our battles. Constantly whining and being sad about a problem can't change it. Start reading!

God go punish una wey dey talk therapy. What is therapy? Africans just like to copy from oyibo. Therapy is a way of milking money out from you without much changes

Ablemed:
Can therapy work for me?? isn't it to late at 24years of age?? I just finished calling mum now and accused her of everything that has happened to me, I told her I don't want to hear from her, not anytime soon. I've tried calling my Dad to but his line is switch off, I just wanna cut both of them off, They put me in this mess that I have to fight alone now

Therapy works for all ages. Painfully, you just insulted your parents that loved you so much.

Your parents has nothing to do with ur current state and life. They supported you and provided money for your school and even pay you while in NYSC. Now you pay them with bad coins.

You had all the time to socialize. You attended university. Your personal nature is entirely on you. This is you don’t blame anyone. But you can seek for help. By the way masturbation is nothing. 90% of men have all mastusbated at least once in their life. Oyibo even advise girls do to know what is best for them. You have refused to grow up by urself. But there is hope if you seek help. Many people were worse than you but they got help and living wonderfully. Don’t kill yourself. You have beautiful stories to tell if you seek help.

I feel for you and understand your plight., But you don't have to dwell there. Make the change, if you feel timid and boring, buy good books to build up your confidence, practice being confident and you will get to your greatest potential. Learn a skill. Learn how to smile. Learn how to draw boundaries and keep them. Life is sweet o. You have a great future ahead of you.

Ablemed:
I'll like to make my story short as possible without much introduction tho. And also a lesson parents/ new couples should learn from my ordeal, Pls read to the end.

Alright So I'm the only male born of my parent among 4 girls, i also happen to be the last born at it. my problem started when growing up, cause my parent aged bfr getting a Male child which was my Dad and his parent cravings, I was pampered when growing up such that my parents would never watch me do stressful things, dictate when I go out and who I moved out with (My mum's own was even worse cause when growing up, if I want to go out, she'll always send me back inside) even during secondary school they had to get a school very close to our house. my sisters were only the ones that would go to mum's shop and make sales while mum would either stay with me at home or if I eventually go the shop sef I'll always sit and just watch. Literally, I'll say I was denied the right to be exposed to lotta things and real issues about life.

And cause I was not the sociable type cause I'll literally stay at home, watch movies, eat and my movements limited, I was exposed to pornography and masturbation at a very young age and I battled that bad habit thr my University days (Did I say my Parents also dictated the University I went to cause it was close to our House to and any small riot in school then the next hour they'll come and pick me back home till every thing dies down)

So guys over time, I've grown to be this boring guy who is shy, timid, suffering from low self esteem and can't give vibe even when gisting with my fellow guys, in which most of them just relegate me to this small boy level. Did I also say I've never had a Girlfriend all my life cause the truth is ion always know what to say or how to maintain talking vibe. At first I decide not to care and just always console myself with I was created like that and just continue my boring life, it has now gotten to the point I'm not rated in anything at all, most people just make friends with me cause of what they can gain from me, I'm not even good in anything, I can't speak clearly, I'm kinda literally mentally dumb and ion see me useful for anyone or anything, perhaps maybe God only, No business sense, no work skill or experience, no trade experiences to

I'm currently a Corp member serving and before then I rebelled against my parent cause they wanted to dictate the state I serve which is our state of residence so I go to my ppa from home but I told them No and even got to a fight to my Dad cause of this issue and we din speak for like 2weeks, he eventually called me and we settled. But the issue now is guys I've got less than two months left for my POP for service and you don't expect me to return home useless to my parent house again?? Tho sincerely thr my service year, I din touch my allowee so I've saved up to 270k so far. the issue is ask me what I want to do with the money? I've got no idea, what business sense or idea? Nothing is coming to my head, infact I don't know. The funny thing is, my roommate is exactly my opposite, very outspoken, bold, full of vibe and bring back different female friends each day, this guy is not really financially buoyant but you see girls cook and travel all the way to give him for us to eat. I just wish I was like him, i wish i had the vibe

I'm 24years now and at this age, no idea bout my future, bout life, I can't even relate with people, I'm just so sad, depressed and frustrated. At the moment the only job coming to my head is the military cause I served in a military barrack cause I choose it myself but most of the junior officers are trashing my interest by telling me not to waste my time say I no go survive am with my nature, that military needs tough people and endurance bla bla and on the other hand, my mum is saying Never she'll never allow me join the military not over her dead body and she's bout recruiting my Dad to and Sincerely I'm frustrated and my depression have taken another turn that over the past weeks I've been thinking suicide and it's getting really high, I say I should type this here bfr the worse happen cause if I can't be useful for myself what really is the point living??

Please this advice is to parent and intending parent/couples, pls and pls expose ur children to life, don't over pamper your kids, work on them to make them sociable and outspoken, I swear you'll be doing them a great favour. For me I thought my parent loved me, I thought they were trying to protect me but they've put me in a deep mess I have to face alone and just I pray I get the opportunity to make things right with me

you're overthinking it. Believe it or not. It was never your parents fault. You're an introvert, which isn't bad. Most billionaires are. you just hate ur self cause u can't get ladies? Get a job and money, na ladies go come meet u. Yes you can learn how to mingle but if u went to secondary school and you can't learn that in 8hrs everyday. No be ur parents fault. The only thing is they didn't force you to survive on ur own, which no good parent will do in this era. explain to them that u want to survive on ur own and remind them u can call for support...Then you will start seeing things differently

It's not easy at all, just try and put more effort, try and relate with people, be confident in yourself, look for a job and rent a small apartment, life can start from there, it is never too late. May find peace.

OP what you're experiencing is normal. you're just exaggerating your present situation. Every introverted personality pass through this stages whether you're brought up by strict or non strict parents. That's your personality. So stop blaming your parents. They have brought you up in their own best way of training a child. You're likely to be phlegmatic. I advised you read more about different personalities , read Tim Lahaye book's, "Why you art the way you do". You will outgrow this with time, as you aware of your personality short comings, you will surely overgrown with it. I advice you start your career in any activities involve preaching or teaching especially tutoring people of lesser age. once you build up confidence facing children , shyness will gradually go away and self confidence will grow.

This is alot of bullshit. I am an extreme introvert but not addicted to porn or any devises.
All my friends are extroverts that drink, smoke, womanize but i don't do such.
All i am saying is don't blame your parents. I remember when my dad wanted was to protective i had to fight for my freedom.
Ever wondered why most pastor daughters are spoilt despite the lack of freedom? It is because pikin wey go spoil go spoil no matter what...

Please stop blaming your parents. You sounded like you were locked up inside your room your entire life. But you spent at least 16 years out of your 24 years of existence in school. You had a very good opportunity to associate with people but nature somehow happened to you, not your parents please. All I see you picking on is your inability to go out and "carry" girls like that is life achievement. When it is time to marry nature will bring your partner your way, that is why it is called suitor. It's funny how you blame pornography on your parents. Core street guys are worse, they don't only masturbate, they visit ashawo joints. if your parents had allowed you to go on the street maybe you would have fathered like 2 kids with different girls by now.
For business sense, how many graduates do parents raise to have business acumen? You even have the sense to save which is a plus. You have asked the right question of what to use the money for. You can use it to learn a skill if business is not for you. Everyone must not go into business please.
About not wanting to return home and your inability to join army, I will say you just got to the crossroad of life. Almost all graduates come to this point not only you. Do a SWOT analysis of yourself. Use your strength to overcome your weakness. Focus on opportunities to deal with your threats.
Look life may have thrown lemons at you, but you can make a sweet lemonade out if it. Your case is not as bad as you painted it. Dwelling in it instead if looking into a very bright future will only complicate it.
Finally, don't cut off your source, your parents because they did no wrong. They were after your well-being. You didn't see what they saw. If you put yourself in their shoes perhaps you would do worse.
Peace.

You have your life to live and also the right to make decisions on your own (without being disrespectful to your parents).

It's funny you 'jealous of your roommate cos of girls, if you add them to your current predicament right now; you will end up far worse. My advice is forget about girls for now, apologize to your parent for being disrespectful and ask for help (Tonypen247 said it all).

Once you've figured out what you want to do with your life, relate same to your parents and siblings respectfully and i believe they will all support you.

Thank goodness you have older siblings you can learn from and if possible, stay with after your service year; make the best of these opportunities.

Ablemed:
Can therapy work for me?? isn't it to late at 24years of age?? I just finished calling mum now and accused her of everything that has happened to me, I told her I don't want to hear from her, not anytime soon. I've tried calling my Dad to but his line is switch off, I just wanna cut both of them off, They put me in this mess that I have to fight alone now

Zero eight zero 3 five 67 six 2 six 9

Link me up if you wish please, your case is not hopeless! Absolutely no need for the blame game!!


Abeg I no ask you for money!!!

They first solution to a problem is diagnosing the problem.....

mamajaz:

...but he can still help his life now oh.

Definitely!! A great deal of work will go down the drain!!! Those were his formative years, and not learning or experiencing what he ought to have experienced and learned at that age will take a big big effort on his part. There is a time for everything!;

Every life here in earth has its own challenges,try to learn a skill & look for something you can do to fetch you money,do not move out of your parents house yet ,'it is very cold outside'.it is never too late to make adjustments & to learn and unlearn

Ablemed, I wish you're in my city. I once had someone like you in the university, I changed his thinking and attitude. I've come across many guys with similar stories. They changed.

Just tell yourself that you are a man. Respect your parents, but tell them it's about time you play the role of a man. Protection comes from God, not from them. They can only try their best and leave the rest to God.

Death can come at anytime - even while in their room where they consider safe for you.

Tell them you are the person who would carry the name of the family when they're gone, you don't need to be a sissy - you have to be a man.

You're the father of the house - you'll raise a family and also watch over your sisters - it's important you're seen as a man.


Don't in the name of trying to vibe and feeling among and take to doing drugs.

Don't contemplate suicide. Watch Jordan Peterson, Kelvin Samuel and Andrew Tate on YouTube and they'll spark the man in you. Read books. Go to the gym. In fact, hang out with the right guys.


I wish you're in my city. Women no be anything. Just work on yourself. Send me a PM

Ablemed:
Can therapy work for me?? isn't it to late at 24years of age?? I just finished calling mum now and accused her of everything that has happened to me, I told her I don't want to hear from her, not anytime soon. I've tried calling my Dad to but his line is switch off, I just wanna cut both of them off, They put me in this mess that I have to fight alone now

bro im 28 i have no plan just living. dont stress yourself u r still young ur prblm is not ur parents but PMO

Ablemed:
I'll like to make my story short as possible without much introduction tho. And also a lesson parents/ new couples should learn from my ordeal, Pls read to the end.

Alright So I'm the only male born of my parent among 4 girls, i also happen to be the last born at it. my problem started when growing up, cause my parent aged bfr getting a Male child which was my Dad and his parent cravings, I was pampered when growing up such that my parents would never watch me do stressful things, dictate when I go out and who I moved out with (My mum's own was even worse cause when growing up, if I want to go out, she'll always send me back inside) even during secondary school they had to get a school very close to our house. my sisters were only the ones that would go to mum's shop and make sales while mum would either stay with me at home or if I eventually go the shop sef I'll always sit and just watch. Literally, I'll say I was denied the right to be exposed to lotta things and real issues about life.

And cause I was not the sociable type cause I'll literally stay at home, watch movies, eat and my movements limited, I was exposed to pornography and masturbation at a very young age and I battled that bad habit thr my University days (Did I say my Parents also dictated the University I went to cause it was close to our House to and any small riot in school then the next hour they'll come and pick me back home till every thing dies down)

So guys over time, I've grown to be this boring guy who is shy, timid, suffering from low self esteem and can't give vibe even when gisting with my fellow guys, in which most of them just relegate me to this small boy level. Did I also say I've never had a Girlfriend all my life cause the truth is ion always know what to say or how to maintain talking vibe. At first I decide not to care and just always console myself with I was created like that and just continue my boring life, it has now gotten to the point I'm not rated in anything at all, most people just make friends with me cause of what they can gain from me, I'm not even good in anything, I can't speak clearly, I'm kinda literally mentally dumb and ion see me useful for anyone or anything, perhaps maybe God only, No business sense, no work skill or experience, no trade experiences to

I'm currently a Corp member serving and before then I rebelled against my parent cause they wanted to dictate the state I serve which is our state of residence so I go to my ppa from home but I told them No and even got to a fight to my Dad cause of this issue and we din speak for like 2weeks, he eventually called me and we settled. But the issue now is guys I've got less than two months left for my POP for service and you don't expect me to return home useless to my parent house again?? Tho sincerely thr my service year, I din touch my allowee so I've saved up to 270k so far. the issue is ask me what I want to do with the money? I've got no idea, what business sense or idea? Nothing is coming to my head, infact I don't know. The funny thing is, my roommate is exactly my opposite, very outspoken, bold, full of vibe and bring back different female friends each day, this guy is not really financially buoyant but you see girls cook and travel all the way to give him for us to eat. I just wish I was like him, i wish i had the vibe

I'm 24years now and at this age, no idea bout my future, bout life, I can't even relate with people, I'm just so sad, depressed and frustrated. At the moment the only job coming to my head is the military cause I served in a military barrack cause I choose it myself but most of the junior officers are trashing my interest by telling me not to waste my time say I no go survive am with my nature, that military needs tough people and endurance bla bla and on the other hand, my mum is saying Never she'll never allow me join the military not over her dead body and she's bout recruiting my Dad to and Sincerely I'm frustrated and my depression have taken another turn that over the past weeks I've been thinking suicide and it's getting really high, I say I should type this here bfr the worse happen cause if I can't be useful for myself what really is the point living??

Please this advice is to parent and intending parent/couples, pls and pls expose ur children to life, don't over pamper your kids, work on them to make them sociable and outspoken, I swear you'll be doing them a great favour. For me I thought my parent loved me, I thought they were trying to protect me but they've put me in a deep mess I have to face alone and just I pray I get the opportunity to make things right with me

Oga, you are in too much of a hurry. You have time and nothing is wrong with you. Anyway, you are an Igbo boy.
Am an only son among more girls than you have, so i get all the pampering, but saying they spoilt you is an overstatment. If this is about casual sex, bros calm down. The ladies will eventually be falling over themselves for you. You are a ready made man.

Stop envying people for the very thing that will be their downfall. Do you know how many young men are derailed by unplanned pregnancies, stds and investment in females. Masturbation is a normal cycle of male sexuality, any male that is truthful to you, will tell you they masturbated around your age.

Your personality is not just due to nuture, but nature as well. Many people are are timid and shy at your age. As your brain develops more grey matter, you will be more outspoken and stop worrying about it.

My advice to you is this. Be grateful to your parents for what they have offered you. Life is actually very hard for many people. Utilize the leverage and trouble free life your parents gave you to rise above your peers. Stop thinking being streetwise pays better or gives you more abilities. Focus on a formal professional career, and stop looking for business at this age. You do not have the experience for a worthwhile business. Neither do your friends. All they are doing is merely post study hustle, and that maybe because they have deprndents. You do not, so do not waste time on money ventures thst will not add much to your life. Use your parents connections to rise in a formal profession before thinking about using the resources they have gathered for you for worthy business. Buying and selling is the smallest and most unsustainable business.

You do not need therapy, there is nothing wrong with you. Ever intelligent young man asks same question you are asking. How to connect with people, how to make a living, and what to become? What did you study in Univ., did you not learn anything worth a job from your study?

Dwana96:
You're a bastard

Your mother is an adult fool

We all have insecurities

I'm also a serving corper passing out next month and I have alot of business ideas I could share with you if you're interested

At least if you can find a sense of belonging that'll go a long way in easing your stress

Shalom

Op,
If you are reading my comment, that money you saved will help you move to a west Africa Country called CÔTE d'Ivoire.

You will travel by road and you will enjoy the challenges of travelling and surviving in a new country, it makes you a real man with experience.

HERE YOU CAN AT LEAST GET A TEACHING JOB IN ANY NIGERIAN PRIMARY/SECONDARY SCHOOL.

you will get a small room to stay and start Life maturely,meet Ladies of your choice and have your own decisions.

Contact me on WhatsApp:-
+225
01531
95089

Ablemed:
Can therapy work for me?? isn't it to late at 24years of age?? I just finished calling mum now and accused her of everything that has happened to me, I told her I don't want to hear from her, not anytime soon. I've tried calling my Dad to but his line is switch off, I just wanna cut both of them off, They put me in this mess that I have to fight alone now

Use that 270k to get a cheap self-contain, get a job even if it's a school and start from there. You have no reason to contemplate committing suicide.

Havemercylord:
Op,
If you are reading my comment, that money you saved will help you move to a west Africa Country called CÔTE D'IVOIRE.

HERE YOU CAN AT LEAST GET A TEACHING JOB IN ANY NIGERIAN PRIMARY/SECONDARY SCHOOL.

you will get a small room to stay and start Life maturely,meet Ladies of your choice and have your own decisions.

Contact me on WhatsApp:-
+225
01531
95089

Cote to do what? With that little sum? OP please stay put and hustle for a job.

Op
DO NOT HATE ON YOUR PARENTS, IF THEY WISH, THEY WILL GIVE YOU THE WHOLE WORLD.

DON'T SAY BECAUSE YOU MASTURBATE,YOU LACK SELF ESTEEM!!! NO!

SOON, GIRLS WILL BE RUNNING AFTER YOU AND YOU WILL HAVE TO CHOOSE YOUR CHOICE

Firstly, I would say for the masturbation issue just sincerely tell God to help you and avoid anything relating to porn, it would work like magic for you.

Secondly, don't blame your parents much, when you become one you would understand what they did, just be positive, everybody has their temperament and interaction pattern, yours can be explored to your advantage.
If you are a christian, I would advise you join an ever active group in church where you can socialize and have friends, but you have to also know and be careful not to have bad friends because you want to socialize, be tactful.
I would not completely advise you to leave your parents house in haste, the outside world ain't that easy, make it a progressive thing, 270k would not sustain you long if you do not have something doing. If your parents can afford a lot, use it to your advantage, join a skill acquisition class or learn a skill (socialize there carefully), use this few periods to develop yourself and get new paying skills. Also, cultivate the habit of saving (financial intelligence) don't be wasteful, avoid babes wahala, maintain healthy relationships with them, have them as platonic friends so you understand them better.

My guy nor rush comot house if nothing dey hand o, make u nor go rush back. just keep developing yourself and saving, later you can leave. If you eventually decide to leave, nor give girl belle o or enter drugs o because freedom dey sweet well well o....Nor forget your God.....cheers

Enter street, roll with the real Gs for just 2 month, and your life will never be the same again.... No join cult o..

Sha no join military cus na agbado u go chop.