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Breakup and Divorce: Why Your Second Marriage Will Fail, or Your Third, or Your Fourth

Your marriage has collapsed, perhaps more than once, I understand that it’s challenging enough the first time around, and studies consistently indicate that difficulty increases with repeated attempts. All marriages end. Quite a bit, in fact. The statistics are still rather bad, but there is some indication that the divorce rate has actually decreased from 2009 to 2019 (along with the marriage rate). Is that terrible news? Nearly half of all first marriages fail, and the situation only gets worse with each additional attempt. I’m not lying; I am living proof of this. There are several publications explaining why this is the case, but each person’s heart holds the true understanding.

People that experience it.

You can conduct research and analyze data to try to determine the underlying cause of this pervasive issue, but does following societal trends help you slay your personal dragon? Probably not. Between two and five times, I’ve been married. I consistently made critical errors that ensured the succeeding attempt would also fail. I started to discover that much of my pattern was fairly common after speaking with others who had traveled a similar journey. Does any of this apply to you?

1. I assigned blame for my bad luck to others.


Additionally, it wasn’t only my ex-lovers. I got into the habit of blaming my socialization and referencing my family background for my inability to operate within a partnership. When I became sick of that, I started thinking about what my ex-partner did or didn’t do to make me feel loved. I didn’t think that maybe, just maybe, I had anything to do with it for a very long time.

2. I was bullied into jumping from one relationship to the next by my loneliness.

I didn’t give each previous circumstance the time it needed to receive an honest autopsy. It’s understandable why I continued having failure after failure since I didn’t even attempt to look into the actual cause of death. I didn’t give myself any room to make mistakes and learn from them, so I was destined to repeat them.

3. I erroneously attempted to alter my partner type, believing that I was simply making poor choices.

Doing the same thing repeatedly and expecting a different outcome is said to be the definition of insanity. Well, in my eagerness to “fix my luck,” I purposely sought out potential mates with wildly dissimilar personalities, believing that if I found the “perfect” person, I would finally find happiness.

Continue Reading…. Early signs of divorce